Villainy

I've been told a million times in my twenty years that every story has to have a villain. That's the easiest explanation for all of the awful things that happen in the real world; the universal motivation for every villain from a Disney movie to a thriller novel. Every story has to have a villain, over and over again. And I'm not saying that's wrong, because it isn't. It is entirely true, but what gets left out of it is that not every story has to have a hero.

When I say that not all stories have heroes, I'm not talking about some literary anti-hero. I mean that there's no protagonist - no true good. Some stories are made entirely of villains. There may be good people in these stories, but that is of little or no importance because they are still villains. The possession of redeeming qualities cannot always redeem someone.

I always thought I was the hero of my story. We all start out that way, don't we? And I blamed every bad thing on everything but myself for the longest time. I thought that the world was full of villains, but at least I was good. I was the underdog; that lovable protagonist that would triumph in the end. Eventually, I moved to the other polar opposite. I thought that I was the only villain; that I just caused so much destruction to such good people and such a good world. I didn't understand how I could be the villain of my own story, but I knew I was regardless.

Now, I know the truth. Oh, sure, I'm still a villain. I'm not a good person - I hurt people, and I'm aware of it. But this world is full of villains too. I haven't found a hero for this story quite yet, and I'm not holding my breath for the appearance of one.

There are upsides and downsides to realizing that you are indeed not the protagonist of a story like they teach you when you're young. Obviously, morality makes you realize that being a villain is a terrible thing and means that you aren't a good person. That weighs on you a lot once you get to a place of understanding in regard to your true nature.

On the other side, however, there are no more expectations. Go ahead, let the door smack the guy walking in behind you right in the face. You aren't ruining anything by letting it go. Sure, you might feel guilty later, but you also might not. The first few times that happens, it takes a while for the guilt to disappear. Eventually, you barely feel it all.

I'm not saying you have to become an all-around evil person. Recognition of your personal villainy does not mean that you have to start kicking puppies, pushing down old ladies on the street, or committing felonies. It just means you accept that you aren't a good person, and that the world is full of not-good people, and that not every story has a hero.

Frankly, I don't know what I'd do if a hero ever actually showed up in my story. I've become so accustomed to acknowledging the badness of the world that true good would be awfully disconcerting. It would make me angry, I know, because I wouldn't have it all figured out anymore. It would just be a story full of villains with a protagonist that wins at the end. I would be entirely wrong about the one thing that I'm sure of.

So I say that I'm not waiting for a hero, but I honestly don't want one. I can live my life with all of the miserable cogs around me with the understanding that we're all villains, but the presence of a hero changes the game.

A hero coming around gives the people focus; reason to try and change the story that they have played their part in so beautifully. Maybe it's selfish of me to hope that the world stays in its miserable state, but I don't particularly care. I am a villain of a century-old story, and so is everyone else around me. Is it too much to ask for it to just stay like that?

The biggest issue is that not everyone has come to the realizations that I have. They walk around with ignorant grins on their false protagonist faces and preach fairy-tales to their children that grow up with the same masks as their parents. It is absolutely disgusting, and the most ironic part is that by lying to themselves and everyone around them, they solidify their villainy. There is no way to escape your true nature.

I want to correct these people. Personally, I think I'd be doing the world a favor, but I know that most wouldn't see it that way. Sometimes I don't care and I do it anyway, but it usually fails at a fairly shallow level. These people don't want to stop thinking the way that they have their whole lives, just as I don't want to change my thoughts. The difference is simple: my thinking is correct.

Now I don't want to seem vain. I may be a villain, but I am not prideful. I just understand the world at a truer level than most people, and a lot of the time I think it would be easier if we were all at that level. Alas, I know it will never work that way.

So, yes, there are good people in this world and in my story. But they are all villains - every single one. Not every story has a hero, and I think this one is pretty good regardless.