The American Spirit

June 20th, 2015

Ryanne and Andy ended up completely skipping out on catering with Faye and Ben, though Ryanne didn't think Faye particularly cared. They had walked past the red head and she seemed far too wrapped up in the British screamer to even notice that her friend hadn't showed up. It brought a smile to Ryanne's face to see her friend so happy with someone. Truth be told, she hadn't seen her friend legitimately this happy in a long time.

But, she digresses. Andy waited patiently for the dark haired girl to speak again, his face the poster child for confusion. She hadn't wanted to get into this conversation with a guy that she actually harbored a small crush on. In fact, she didn't even know why she put that song on the EP. Her and Nick had had their problems when they were together. She was always jealous of the other girls that talked to him and he had a problem with her always needing to do things. Her constant movement drove him insane and his lack of desire to do things with her made her crazy. But, they worked so perfectly as friends and coworkers. He was so no nonsense, always able to keep the girls focused on the tasks at hand. Which made things perfect for when they were recording or playing shows.

But, they were explosive as lovers. Always fighting and making up, mostly fighting. They had almost gotten to the point of violence once, right in the middle of the EP release show. Had Faye and Chelsea not been close, there would have definitely been an altercation. But, when they weren't fighting, they were perfect together. So close and they told each other everything. Ryanne could remember nights in his old truck bed filled with blankets in the middle of summer. They had talked of their plans of the future, of the band, and for them.

This had only been a few years ago, five to be exact, that they had broken up. The day she graduated, they had decided to call it quits. She was glad they had agreed upon it like adults. She couldn't have bared to lose him as a friend. He was there for her for so long. Dating from her freshman year to her senior year. She had gone to both his junior and senior prom and he had gone to hers. Although, around the time of hers, they were having their share of problems.

When she wrote I Know You Are, she had been upset and hurt, simply wanting to get all of her frustrations out. The way they had broken up was less than ideal. But, after the break up and spending nearly a month away from each other, they realized how much they hated not being friends. They put aside their differences and now they were closer than ever.

As she told Andy about the whole thing, though, she could feel him tense up at certain points in her story. Specifically the part of them nearly getting physical. She smiled softly up at him, resting her hand on his forearm to let him know it was fine. His blue eyes locked on hers and she had to fight to keep back a gasp. It was like they were staring right into her soul and she never wanted him to look away.

"Ryanne?"

Shaking her head quickly, she turned to the new voice that brought her out of her head. Braden stood there in front of her, a frown gracing his lips. Pursing her own lips, she crossed her arms over her chest. If he started something right now, she was going to be very upset.

"When I said you should ask Andy, I wasn't being serious." He quipped.

Andy turned to her, a look of confusion on his face. "What is he talking about?"

Ryanne sighed and rolled her eyes. She really didn't want to get into this. They were only three days into the tour. It was ridiculous that he was getting so upset about her hanging out with Andy. It's not like she was dating either one of them. She was not a toy to fight over. She was more worried about her, her band, and making it on this tour.

"I tried to get Braden to come to catering with me, Faye, and Ben. Because I felt bad about brushing him off yesterday after my set. But, he didn't want to come. So I asked you." She explained, yanking her beanie off her head and thrusting her fingers through her hair. "Both of you are my friends. Neither one of you should get mad at me for hanging out with the other."

"I wouldn't get mad at you for hanging out with Braden." Andy remarked, looking affronted. "You guys are both friends. Me and you are friends. What's the matter with that?"

Ryanne turned to Braden, her eyebrow lifted. "Yeah, Braden. What's the matter with that?"

He dropped his arms, looking as though he was being backed into a corner. Ryanne smirked slightly at the flustered boy. She hated that she was having to act this way, she was usually very chill towards people. But, when people acted as though she were property? That did not fly very well with her. She was her own person. And if she wanted to hang out with someone, she was not going to be told what to do. It didn't work that way.

"You know what?" She remarked. "I'm going to spend the rest of the day with my sister. Andy, thanks for spending the morning with me. I'm gonna see if she wants to catch Neck Deep's show. Braden, I'll see you after my set, okay?"

He nodded, still kind of quiet. She sighed and bit her lip, wanting to say something but not wanting to upset him. She turned to Andy and smiled softly. She was glad he wasn't too badly upset with her. He grinned back at her, albeit a tad awkwardly. A sigh of relief left her as he pulled her into a short hug. All of the drama and only three days into Warped. How unlucky could she get?

**

"Alright guys! We're gonna slow it down. This is probably one of my favorite songs by We Are The In Crowd. I used to listen to this on repeat when I was missing a really important person in my life. We're gonna do it acoustically though. And I hope we do it justice." Ryanne announced, gratefully accepting the stool. "Also, how cute is Ben Barlow of Neck Deep? I watched his show earlier and he's a freaking cutie, right Faye?"

Faye shot her a look, a small smile breaking across her face. "He's pretty cute. But, I'm partial to Andy Biersack? Or maybe Braden Barrie? He's pretty adorbs, right?"

Ryanne frowned. She probably shouldn't have started anything with Faye. She should never ever start anything with any of the girls in her band. They all know way too much about her life to get away with anything. She began counting off and rolled her eyes with a laugh at Faye's face.

Seems like a dream
Awaken before it was done
How could this be?
I walk alone
But sometimes I picture your hands held in my own
My brave face it's too late now

With her eyes closed, she could see flashes of memories of her and her brother and Chelsea. Moments of them playing in the backyard, chasing each other with shrieks of excitement. Summer nights by the fire pit with friends, laughing and goofing off. Of them all catching fireflies as little kids. The Christmas before the accident.

If you could see me now
Would you be pleased and proud
I'm doing fine
But sometimes I cry
When I see your face
Are there windows in heaven
To see me now
Through all the sky and clouds
Living my life
With a heart full of pride
When I see your face
Are there windows in heaven?

Would he be proud of her? Of all the things she and Chelsea had accomplished? Would he have wanted to come with them on Warped tour? They definitely would have let him. The three had always been close, closer than even her best friends. He had been there for everything. Her first 'boyfriend' in the eight grade. Chelsea's first cheer competition. When he died, Chelsea stopped cheerleading. Ryanne stopped singing for a while. Everything was falling to pieces.

She hadn't even realized the music had stopped and that she had tears running down her face. She should have known it would be a hard song for her to sing. It brought up too many memories. But, she was glad she did it.

Are there windows in Heaven?