Say You Don’t Want It

Twenty-Eight: All I Want Is For You To Be Happy

Stirring the milk into his coffee, Cristiano offered another gander towards the door, his stomach twitching awkwardly at the thought of seeing Alexis again. It was what he wanted, he had been trying to get her to talk to him for what felt like weeks, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. She had been vague, her message had merely asked him if he wanted to get coffee with her and he was worried that she had only asked him out to ask him to leave her alone. It was likely, he had hardly left her alone since they had spilt up, and he was scared. He loved Alexis and doubted he would cope if she asked him to leave her alone, or told him that she had moved on, he didn’t think he could stomach it. Shifting a little, he placed a spoonful of sugar into the drink before the sound of the door echoed, causing him to look up, his brown eyes widening as he spotted Alexis. She looked good, beautiful even, and Cristiano instantly felt a little self-conscious. He didn’t look his best, he knew it, and he hoped Alexis wouldn’t notice. He didn’t want her thinking that he was pathetic.

“Hola” she murmured softly as she moved to take the seat opposite him.

Cristiano smiled timidly at her greeting before he turned back down to his drink, stirring it absently.

Alexis watched him for a second before she sighed. “I saw your goal” she noted “The celebration was sweet” she added.

Cristiano nodded. “It was Iker’s idea. He wanted me to do something personal and that was as personal as I could think of” he explained sheepishly. He didn’t know what it was, he had spent hours talking to Alexis before, but he simply couldn’t muster the words to tell her what was on his mind. He didn’t have it in him to tell her what he felt, knowing that there was a risk of her telling him that nothing was going to change.

Alexis nodded her head softly. “Cristiano” she noted “You’ve been really sweet lately, all of the gifts have been lovely and the celebration was adorable, but I…”

“You don’t want me” he finished gently, his brown eyes peeking up at her for a moment.

Alexis sighed. “It isn’t a case of not wanting you” she murmured “I love you, but what you did, I can’t get over it. I know it seems stupid and I know that when you did it, you did it because you didn’t want to lose me, but it broke our trust. You hid something huge from me and didn’t trust that if I spoke to Hector, then I would come back and speak with you, something I would have done in an instant Cris. If I was going to take a job, I would have told you about it, I would have asked you for your opinion” she explained gently. She felt bad about it, but it was how she felt. Cristiano had broken their trust and she was struggling to piece it back together.

“I was stupid, Lexi” Cristiano sighed “Idiotic, but I only did it because I was scared. We were in such a good place, I had never felt happier before, and I worried that if Hector talked to you, then you would choose your new job over me, a choice I would have inevitably forced you to make. I have done long distance before and it never works” he murmured.

Alexis shook her head. “I would have asked you” she protested.

“And I wasn’t to know that” he replied “I was wrong, I shouldn’t have done it, but I love you and I didn’t want to lose you, something I did anyway when I did what I did” he murmured.

Alexis spared him a little look before she reached her hand out, gently brushing it over his. “I had the meeting with Hector” she murmured, causing him to look up.

“You’re leaving?” he squeaked.

Alexis looked around for a moment before she shook her head. “No” she murmured “As it turns out, United only wanted to talk to me so that I could convince you to go back, but when they heard that I had split up with you, they pulled out. PSG had a similar reason” she explained gently.

“They wanted you to talk me into leaving Madrid?” he posed softly.

“They thought if I went, you would too” she murmured “When I heard that, I just upped and left the room. I wasn’t going to tell you to do anything” she added.

Cristiano looked at her gently before he squeezed her hand. “I am sorry, Lexi” he noted.

Alexis shook her head. “It was too good to be true anyways” she muttered “I was an intern, why would two of Europe’s biggest teams want me? I should have seen that they were only after my connection to you” she added with a shake of her head. She felt stupid, she should have seen it was more about Cristiano than it was about her talent, but she hadn’t. For a moment, she had truly thought that she was wanted somewhere.

Cristiano sighed. “I really am sorry Lexi” he murmured “I will talk to Hector, I will ask him to find you a better job” he added.

Alexis shook her head. “You don’t have to do that. I don’t want you pulling strings for me” she protested softly.

Cristiano waved his hand. “It is my fault that you are unemployed in the first place” he noted.

“It is my fault. I kissed you at the Calderon” she noted.

“I took you to the game” Cristiano fought back gently “I was responsible for us being around all the cameras” he added.

Alexis shook her head. “I kissed you when Torres scored, I was the reason we got caught and I will be the reason I find myself some work. I am not your girlfriend, you don’t have to worry about me” she noted.

Cristiano shook his head and lifted her hand, kissing it softly. “You’re still the girl that I am in love with” he murmured “And even though you don’t want me to, I am not going to let it lie. I will find you a job and perhaps, one day, you will think about giving me another shot. I know I can be a moron Lexi, and when I lied to Hector, I was the biggest idiot on the planet, but I only did it because of how much I had come to love you. You’re special, Lexi, the most special woman I have ever met and I hope, maybe one day, that you can see that we were good together” he murmured softly before he climbed to his feet. “All I want is for you to be happy Lexi, and if you think that you can do that without me, then who am I to question it? I just want you to know, that if you ever change your mind, your side of the bed is open” he noted before he pressed a kiss to her lips and wandered away.

Alexis watched after him before she closed her eyes, wondering if she had made a mistake.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks to Jayme112234 and FootieJo for the comments :)