Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
Rock Bottom
Innocuous. Each of the options themselves were all innocuous. The black bladed, folding pocket knife that rested easily on the surface of the black table in front of him; a bottle of painkillers that had long since gone unused sitting next to the knife; the balcony door that stood ajar 18 stories up from the traffic of a city letting in a slight breeze; and the belt that was worn every day, holding up the ever changing pants. Innocuous items intended initially for everyday use. The knife was used to clean his nails a few times a week when various kinds of gunk would build underneath them, it was also used to cut string when it was bothering him and zip ties when need be. The pain killers had been prescribed to him for a broken wrist eight months ago that had healed with him not really needing the pain killers. The balcony was a standard feature in every apartment in his building, a staple for fresh air. And the belt, well, it was only a belt after all. Meant to keep up a pair of pants, and utterly innocuous.
Alone. In the apartment he was utterly alone, he was always alone. You could say that the entire reason that he was sitting there, wondering what reason there was to keep living his mediocre life was because he was always by himself. He went to work, and sat alone at lunch. He went to all the office parties that were required of him, stayed for the required amount of time and left, going home alone.
Pointless. It all seemed so pointless, he went to work to pay for the apartment so he would have somewhere to live. He lived there because it was close to his work, but really, other than paying his bills, what was the point of working? What was the point of anything? He only fed himself because his body required it to give him the energy to go to work that he only went to pay his bills that he only paid to be close to work. It was a big circle, it was pointless.
Musing. He was musing, when it happened. Thinking about how he was alone, and there were too many pointless things and that even though they were pointless, could they really all be innocuous? All these things were thoughts that rushed through his head when his doorbell rang, pulling him from his musing.
It was her. It had been months since they'd seen each other but there she stood, looking as haggard as he felt.
"I'm sorry." They were the only words to fall out of her mouth, but for him, it no longer mattered. He held out his hand and she stepped into the apartment. In that instant she was like a light, shining through and breaking down all the walls he'd been building. Suddenly she was a lifeline.
And it was enough.
Alone. In the apartment he was utterly alone, he was always alone. You could say that the entire reason that he was sitting there, wondering what reason there was to keep living his mediocre life was because he was always by himself. He went to work, and sat alone at lunch. He went to all the office parties that were required of him, stayed for the required amount of time and left, going home alone.
Pointless. It all seemed so pointless, he went to work to pay for the apartment so he would have somewhere to live. He lived there because it was close to his work, but really, other than paying his bills, what was the point of working? What was the point of anything? He only fed himself because his body required it to give him the energy to go to work that he only went to pay his bills that he only paid to be close to work. It was a big circle, it was pointless.
Musing. He was musing, when it happened. Thinking about how he was alone, and there were too many pointless things and that even though they were pointless, could they really all be innocuous? All these things were thoughts that rushed through his head when his doorbell rang, pulling him from his musing.
It was her. It had been months since they'd seen each other but there she stood, looking as haggard as he felt.
"I'm sorry." They were the only words to fall out of her mouth, but for him, it no longer mattered. He held out his hand and she stepped into the apartment. In that instant she was like a light, shining through and breaking down all the walls he'd been building. Suddenly she was a lifeline.
And it was enough.