Into the Eyes of a Killer

I looked into her eyes, desperately searching for the friend I knew and loved. I was met with cold… hard… malice. Eyes unblinking. The familiar spark that I had never quite noticed before was now painfully absent. Her mouth quirked into a smirk. Teasing. Taunting. Daring me to make a move. I didn’t know what to say. If I did, I doubt I had the ability to say it. In lieu of anything productive to do, I simply stood there, the silence growing between us and making me feel increasingly uncomfortable, awkward in my own skin. Unaware of it, a nervous half-smile had found it’s way to my mouth. Her own smile left, replaced with an icy, soul chilling glare.

“Stop smirking.” She commanded in a hard voice. I immediately worked my mouth until I felt I had it under control in a neutral line. Her smile returned, now triumphant at how obedient I was being.

“Now smile. You’re cuter when you smile.” More than a little unsettled by her request, and having absolutely no desire to do what this beast said, let alone smile at her, I still forced my muscles into the familiar pose, smiling as best I could. I’m no fool, and I certainly was not eager to make her more angry than what was simmering beneath the surface.

“…Show me some teeth.” She added, now looking very self satisfied. I did as commanded, trying very desperately to hide my humiliation at having all control over myself stripped away by fear. Stepping in closer to me, she took my chin in hand pouting a little through her smile.

“Look at that face” She taunted, treating me very much like a dog, or a child before she released my face. My skin burned where she had touched me and I immediately leaned away, ignoring the sudden desire to have her touch me once again. The idea repulsed and terrified me. Any time she moved closer to me, I’d subtly try to back away, always trying to remain out of reach unless directed not to do so. But a part of me burned for her touch… for her approval. She wanted to turn me into her pet, almost a minion of sorts. And a part of me wanted to. To just give in, accept the power she could offer me. Become content serving her and growing under her. Getting used like a rag doll, or some other toy at her convenience. I knew she’d betray me. I knew she’d abuse me. But a part of me still longed for it. A part of me I loathed.

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“The Queen of Swords.” She said with a small smile. I glanced at the card, admiring the gothic artwork on it as I read the French words quietly to myself, glad to know that three years of high school language classes were worth the effort.

“So what does it mean?” I ask, cocking my head to the side as I reached out to pick up the card for closer inspection. My hand was smacked before I could do so.

“This is the card that represents you, in your current situation. She is a strong, logical person who-” The handle of the door began to open and I threw a blanket over the tarot cards and the book that accompanied them, trying to look terribly non-chalante as my mother held two bowls filled with ice cream.

“You girls want some desert?” She asked with an easy smile, offering up the bowls. It was at that moment that I remembered why I bothered to visit home. The service was the best.

“Thanks mom”
“Thank you Mrs. Sommers.” We both chimed, snatching the bowls like hungry vultures and diving into our sweet treats. As she closed the door behind her, Sophie pulled off the blanket, making certain all her cards were there as she carefully put her deck back together, eying me very unkindly.

“That was a little unnecessary, don’t you think?” She asked with irritation, her expression softening some as the ice cream worked its magic on her sour mood.

“You know how my parents feel about this stuff… they’ll think that Satan’s pulling me farther into the occult where he can suck out my eternal soul. I’m happy they let me game and stuff, but you should have heard the lecture I got when they heard about the séance I was a part of.” I pled, looking meekly into my bowl as I shoveled another bite into my mouth. Rolling her eyes, Sophie tucked the cards into their case, wrapping the purple silk scarf around them.

“Jesus Vicky, you don’t even live at home anymore, you’re a fucking adult. Why should they care what they do in your spare time?” Sophie asked, this not being the first time she’d shown her disapproval of their parenting methods. I stuck my tongue out at her, then licked my spoon.

“Hey, if I can do little things to keep the peace, it’s a small sacrifice. Now eat your ice cream and let’s see if my brother TiVo’d Bones this week.”