‹ Prequel: Calm Before the Storm
You're Kind of Gangster
Shailene
I kept what happened last night from Matt and Jo, but I can tell they know something is off, and I'm sure they have their suspicions.
Now, I can't find Ean, and his phone must be off because any calls I make go straight to voicemail, and texts go unanswered. It makes me nervous that he has gone back to the group. Beau kept assuring me that if he's realized that he's just a piece of a puzzle, he won't be able to go back. But I have no idea what would have motivated Ean to go see the guys last night in the first place.
It's not that I don't trust Beau, it's that I don't think I can completely trust Ean. Now that he's totally vanished after his call last night, I don't know what's going through his mind, I can't see him and know what he's thinking. Not that I was even able to do that before, Ean can be a stone wall if he feels he needs to hide anything.
Then, the fear sets in at all my ideas of what he would hide from me. I have to shake myself out of my thoughts.
-
“Hello?” I answer an unknown number’s call after school on Monday.
“Shailene, right?” A guy responds coolly.
“Who are you?” I snap, standing my ground. That only makes the guy laugh.
“It doesn’t matter, hun. What does matter is what happened Friday night with your little boyfriend.”
I pause, “You know what happened?”
The voice is different, deeper and more assertive, when I get a response. “I told you I’d call her, asshole!” he yells, but the noise is muffled.
“Look- I’ve been worried about Ean since the other night and he hasn’t answered my calls or texts. What happened to him?”
“Because Ean failed to meet his initiation requirements, it was necessary to find a new... demand.” When I don’t reply, he huffs. “Your loyal boyfriend fucked another girl. He got hammered and went home with her, so now he’s in with us.”
After his blunt admission, he hangs up and I’m left standing on the sidewalk in front of the school, the phone still pressed against my ear.
-
“Ean, Ean call me now. Some guys called me and told me all about every fucking thing that happened. I guess I get now why you vanished. You’re a pig, Ean. I can’t believe I actually thought I could trust your change. Well guess what, we’re done- if we had even started to begin with. That kiss never happened, and you can forget about ever associating with the hockey team again.”
I hang up and stare at Ean's contact picture, a candid picture I took of the two of us from after his practice with the hockey team. His hair is a complete mess, sweaty and sticking up in countless directions, and his face is flushed, but the smile indicates he couldn't be happier. When I press the home button and see the same picture as my background, my head hurts when I think about how quickly everything went sour.
"Shai?" I jump at that nickname, but sigh when I notice it's just Beau. "Matt and Jo are downstairs."
I follow my brother down the stairs and force a smile at them. "Actually-" I say, stopping Beau from going into the kitchen. "Can I talk to you guys about something?"
"All of us?" Beau asks, the concern evident in his voice. But there's something else there, almost like pride at my returned confidence in him. I nod and the three of them sit down on the couch in the living room.
"So, I got a call from Ean in the middle of the night Friday." I direct this part more to Matt and Jo to fill them in. "He was drunk and now I'm sure he was at the wharf when it happened." I can tell Matt knows where this is going. "He said he was going to do something 'bad.' Then, after school today, I got another call from some unknown number, but it was probably Will and Max. They told me what else happened." I hold back the tears. Ean doesn't deserve them. "Ean- Ean had sex with another girl. They said after he got drunk, he went home with her."
Matt and Jo both look ready to kill Ean, but Beau seems like he almost suspected this. "Initiation right? You were a bet for them to make. You were Ean’s pass into the group."
"How did you..." my voice tapers off when I remember who I'm talking to.
"Ean went soft and flaked out on the guys. And if Will and Max thought they had to get involved, then we were wrong. Ean really did change.”
Matt must see a warning sign in my face, because he jumps up from his seat and pulls me to his chest in a hug. I resist at first, balling my fists against his chest, but the tears win against the anger and will power to confront Ean, and I drop my head against his shoulder.
-
Ean leaves me to stew for the next few days, cutting class and missing our tutoring session today. The anger and resentment towards him continue take over the longer he's gone, but I can’t make myself confront him about any of this.
I walk home, deciding that I don't need Jo and Matt's sympathetic looks handed back to me from the front seats of the car every few minutes. I'm blaring music from my headphones, so I don't hear a car drive up behind me and stop, until the hood of the car starts inching along with my steps.
I'm about to panic and grab the pepper spray Sam got me a year ago from where it dangles on my key chain, before I notice the mustang emblem on the grill of the car. The panic turns to indignation as I stop walking but don't turn around to face Ean. I turn off my music but keep my headphones in, and a second later, I hear the car door open and close and Ean’s footsteps coming toward me.
Now, I can't find Ean, and his phone must be off because any calls I make go straight to voicemail, and texts go unanswered. It makes me nervous that he has gone back to the group. Beau kept assuring me that if he's realized that he's just a piece of a puzzle, he won't be able to go back. But I have no idea what would have motivated Ean to go see the guys last night in the first place.
It's not that I don't trust Beau, it's that I don't think I can completely trust Ean. Now that he's totally vanished after his call last night, I don't know what's going through his mind, I can't see him and know what he's thinking. Not that I was even able to do that before, Ean can be a stone wall if he feels he needs to hide anything.
Then, the fear sets in at all my ideas of what he would hide from me. I have to shake myself out of my thoughts.
-
“Hello?” I answer an unknown number’s call after school on Monday.
“Shailene, right?” A guy responds coolly.
“Who are you?” I snap, standing my ground. That only makes the guy laugh.
“It doesn’t matter, hun. What does matter is what happened Friday night with your little boyfriend.”
I pause, “You know what happened?”
The voice is different, deeper and more assertive, when I get a response. “I told you I’d call her, asshole!” he yells, but the noise is muffled.
“Look- I’ve been worried about Ean since the other night and he hasn’t answered my calls or texts. What happened to him?”
“Because Ean failed to meet his initiation requirements, it was necessary to find a new... demand.” When I don’t reply, he huffs. “Your loyal boyfriend fucked another girl. He got hammered and went home with her, so now he’s in with us.”
After his blunt admission, he hangs up and I’m left standing on the sidewalk in front of the school, the phone still pressed against my ear.
-
“Ean, Ean call me now. Some guys called me and told me all about every fucking thing that happened. I guess I get now why you vanished. You’re a pig, Ean. I can’t believe I actually thought I could trust your change. Well guess what, we’re done- if we had even started to begin with. That kiss never happened, and you can forget about ever associating with the hockey team again.”
I hang up and stare at Ean's contact picture, a candid picture I took of the two of us from after his practice with the hockey team. His hair is a complete mess, sweaty and sticking up in countless directions, and his face is flushed, but the smile indicates he couldn't be happier. When I press the home button and see the same picture as my background, my head hurts when I think about how quickly everything went sour.
"Shai?" I jump at that nickname, but sigh when I notice it's just Beau. "Matt and Jo are downstairs."
I follow my brother down the stairs and force a smile at them. "Actually-" I say, stopping Beau from going into the kitchen. "Can I talk to you guys about something?"
"All of us?" Beau asks, the concern evident in his voice. But there's something else there, almost like pride at my returned confidence in him. I nod and the three of them sit down on the couch in the living room.
"So, I got a call from Ean in the middle of the night Friday." I direct this part more to Matt and Jo to fill them in. "He was drunk and now I'm sure he was at the wharf when it happened." I can tell Matt knows where this is going. "He said he was going to do something 'bad.' Then, after school today, I got another call from some unknown number, but it was probably Will and Max. They told me what else happened." I hold back the tears. Ean doesn't deserve them. "Ean- Ean had sex with another girl. They said after he got drunk, he went home with her."
Matt and Jo both look ready to kill Ean, but Beau seems like he almost suspected this. "Initiation right? You were a bet for them to make. You were Ean’s pass into the group."
"How did you..." my voice tapers off when I remember who I'm talking to.
"Ean went soft and flaked out on the guys. And if Will and Max thought they had to get involved, then we were wrong. Ean really did change.”
Matt must see a warning sign in my face, because he jumps up from his seat and pulls me to his chest in a hug. I resist at first, balling my fists against his chest, but the tears win against the anger and will power to confront Ean, and I drop my head against his shoulder.
-
Ean leaves me to stew for the next few days, cutting class and missing our tutoring session today. The anger and resentment towards him continue take over the longer he's gone, but I can’t make myself confront him about any of this.
I walk home, deciding that I don't need Jo and Matt's sympathetic looks handed back to me from the front seats of the car every few minutes. I'm blaring music from my headphones, so I don't hear a car drive up behind me and stop, until the hood of the car starts inching along with my steps.
I'm about to panic and grab the pepper spray Sam got me a year ago from where it dangles on my key chain, before I notice the mustang emblem on the grill of the car. The panic turns to indignation as I stop walking but don't turn around to face Ean. I turn off my music but keep my headphones in, and a second later, I hear the car door open and close and Ean’s footsteps coming toward me.