Unbroken

I enjoyed being home with my mother. My father could never get leave to come and see me but we talked on the phone a few times. As the days turned to weeks, an uneasiness began to spread through my body.

"Hey mom, can I...um...talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Honey." Mom smiled and patted the couch beside her, beckoning me to sit with her.

I sat beside her on the couch and her arm went around my shoulders, her hand rubbing my arm. She was patient, waiting on me to speak. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't sure if I was crazy, or if it was perfectly normal since my body had undergone so much change.

"Mom," I paused for a long moment, gathering the courage and fighting the butterflies from my stomach. "I haven't started my period yet." Her hand stilled on my arm. "I should have started early last week. Could it be because my body is different now?"

My mom looked deep in thought as she considered what I said. She had a frown on her face. "Sweetie, I know you don't like talking about it, but when Naraku had sex with you, did he finish in you?"

I blushed heavily. I knew about the birds and the bees and that protection was key, but being tied up and raped was far from being careful. I thought back, horrified that I had to remember the details of things that happened that I longed to forget.

I merely nodded to answer my mother’s question. She removed her arm from around me and pulled out her phone. She found a number and dialed it.

"I need to set up an appointment for my daughter." She listened for a brief moment. "Angel Baxter." Another short pause. "6/10/95." She paused again, listening. "It’s pretty urgent. Uhuh. Ok. I really appreciate it." She glanced at me. "Bye-bye."

I looked at my mother curiously as she put her phone down on the table.

"Get dressed. You've got an appointment with Dr. Hoekstra. They happened to have a last minute cancellation and they have a slot open for you."

I went upstairs, dreading this appointment. I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I slipped on my flip flops before heading down the stairs where my mother was waiting for me. We walked out the door and she locked the door behind us. She unlocked her Honda and I climbed into the passenger seat, buckling up as she slid in beside me. It was a quiet drive to the Doctors office. I was so nervous that I was visibly trembling.

"No matter what, it will be okay." My mother said reassuringly as she parked in front of the office.

We both went in and I sat in one of the comfortable waiting room chairs while my mother gathered all the necessary paperwork from the front desk. She handed it to me to fill out, which I did. Cringing over the sexual questions that the OBGYN had on the paper.

When I finished, my mother handed the nurse the paperwork and before too long another nurse called me to the back where she took my weight and my height. She handed me a cup and some wipes.

"Just pee in here and put the lid on. Use these to wipe with first to prevent contamination of the sample." She pointed me to the bathroom.

I walked in and locked the door. My mother and the nurse began talking, waiting on me. I wiped myself with the wipes and poised the cup. 'Geeze, it’s hard enough to pee when there are people waiting on you but it’s so much worse to have to pee in a cup.' I concentrated hard, imagining a waterfall, rushing water, rain, pretty much anything to get myself to pee. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I managed to release the muscles that were frightened to perform under pressure and I filled the cup about half way.

Securing the lid, I placed it on the tray, and washed my hands before walking back out the door. The nurse took me further down the hall, while another nurse took my sample, and placed me in a room with a short bed, a sink and counters, a rolling chair, a magnification light, and a single chair.

The nurse handed me a paper gown to put on and asked me a series of questions before taking my blood pressure. My mother sat in the chair while I waited for the nurse to leave. When she finally left, I took my clothes off and slipped on the paper gown. I sat on the half bed, waiting for what seemed like a very long time.

There came a knock on the door and a very handsome man walked in. His hair was jet black and his eyes were a pretty green. He had lines on his face from smiling so much. He pushed his thick black framed glasses up his nose and shook my hand.

"Good evening Miss Baxter. I'm Dr. Hoekstra. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

I looked to my mom for help, not wanting to spill my guts about everything that happened to me.

"She had unprotected sex and she’s missed her period." My mother said matter-of-factly.

"Moooom." I groaned and looked at her. She winked at me, telling me with her eyes that she believed my story but had to come up with something for the doctor.

He pulled up my chart on the computer. "Well, according to your test, you show positive for the hCG hormone." He was quiet for a little while longer. "If you will wrap this around you and follow me, we will do an ultrasound."

He stood up, handed me a paper sheet, and walked out the door.

"hCG hormone?" I asked my mother as we followed the doctor.

She stayed silent until we reached a very dark room with a strange machine and the same bad that was in the last room. I sat on the bed while my mother sat down in the chair beside me. She grabbed my hand.

"It’s a pregnancy hormone."

"A what!?"

"Shhh, Honey. It’s okay."

"How is this okay, Mom?" I was seriously panicked.

"Ok, Miss Baxter, lay back and place your feet in the stirrups." I did as directed. I couldn't see what he was doing. "This will be cold and uncomfortable. Try to keep your muscles relaxed."

I was frightened and nervous. The butterflies in my stomach made me queasy. I felt the doctor insert something into me and I jumped. My mother sushed me and went to stand beside the doctor.

"There it is." The doctor said with a smile. "I'll print these off for you."

The doctor helped me sit up and pointed to a door on the far side of the room. "You can clean up in there while these are printing."

I walked into a small bathroom, cleaned myself up, and began to cry. A few minutes later, my mother knocks on the door.

"Are you okay, Honey?"

"No. No, I'm not okay. How is this okay?" I opened the door and my mother hugged me until I stopped crying. She handed me my clothing and I went back into the bathroom to change.

She handed me four pictures on with a white frame. The pictures were black and white and cone shaped. I could see a bubble and what appeared to be a jelly bean with arms, fingers, legs, and toes. As I gawked at the pictures, my mother led me out to the main lobby of the office. She signed me out and took me to the car. We drove to the pharmacy where she picked me up a bottle of prenatal vitamins.

I stayed silent the entire car ride as I stared at the pictures of the baby growing inside of me. We made it home and I silently climbed the stairs. I laid down in my bed, my mind completely silent as my emotions fought for supremacy. I continued to look at the pictures, counting the little lightly colored circles on its arms and legs.

I heard Naraku's final words pass through my mind one last time before I drifted off to sleep.

"Akumi, I love you. Please forgive me."