Trepidation

I anxiously stared at my watch and counted the seconds. We had exactly twenty-seven seconds until we were no longer guaranteed to have any time to have a head start from the cops that were due at any moment.

The boys had gotten their operations down to a fucking science. Everything was calculated to the last second, last millimeter, last nail. I guess that when you do what they’ve done for the last three years, you’d get good at it, too.

“Fourteen seconds,” I hissed to Ingrid, who was sitting in the driver’s seat with her foot on the brake, ready to race off as soon as the group returned to the van and piled in the back.

“Staring at your little watch isn’t going to make them get back any quicker,” she reminded me almost absentmindedly.

We’d joined their crew nearly a month ago now, after we moved to London together and were struggling to make ends meet. I met Liam, the leader of us all, while I was working at a café and he offered to help us out for some help in return. They were in need of someone, or in our case a couple people, to do some behind the scenes work. Their robberies got more extravagant, the management of their money and belongings became more intricate, and they needed all five of the boys to be on deck to be able to balance it all out while they expanded their wealth.

The sudden sounds of boots pounding against the pavement made me gaze up from the back of the van and through the window, where they all ran towards us with duffle bags in their hands. I was quick to slide open the door, allowing them to pile in. Ingrid slammed her foot on the gas pedal, making us all shift back while I attempted to shut the door again.

“How is everyone?” I asked breathlessly, turning around to look at the chaotic group behind me.

Liam’s eyes were wide with excitement and he had a huge smile plastered on his face.

“It all went smoothly, Simone,” he assured me. “Piece of fucking cake.”

I looked at Zayn and Louis, who were high-fiving each other with wicked grins. Niall had somehow already worked his way to the passenger seat to talk animatedly to Ingrid about something I couldn’t quite decipher. Sometimes it felt as though it was impossible to understand the man with his thick Irish accent. I was struggling enough to adjust to British accents, which in comparison were infinitely easier to understand.

I finally looked over to Harry, who had a sudden twinkle to his already bright green eyes, despite the fact that the rest of his face was neutral. It was something I was also struggling to get used to.

“And you, Harry? You good?”

“Never been better,” he replied smoothly, adjusting to take his long brown hair out of the confines of elastic. Once it was free, he used his fingers to rake through the locks that ended just below his shoulders.

“Anyone up to have a little celebration tonight?” Zayn spoke up, making everyone to nod and hum in appreciation of the idea.

“Hell yeah we are.”

*

I always thought it was slightly disturbing that I’d grown used to the sight of weapons and money stacked on my kitchen table. The fact that they felt secure and powerful enough to not even vaguely attempt to hide these things both scared me and made me feel assured at the same time. It was impossible to forget that we had enemies and people who wanted everything we had, wanted to watch us burn and crumble apart.

Tearing my eyes apart from the table, I looked up to see Liam finishing pouring the shots across the counter. There were fourteen shot glasses laid out, which was enough for our group of seven to have two shots each of the potent liquid. Once he was done pouring, he looked up at me and gestured for me to stand by him, between him and Ingrid.

“Alright everyone, grab your first shots,” Ingrid said, the bright smile on her face undeniable.

We did as we were told, reaching forward to clink our shot glasses together.

“To victory being ours once again!” Niall cheered, making us all laugh before taking our shots.

The alcohol burned my throat, but as the days went by it become easier to handle. I immediately felt warmth flow through my body and as the burning sensation eased, so did my stress from the day’s earlier events. Though they were just a group of hardheaded criminals in a lot of people’s eyes, they were quickly becoming my family.

Once we all downed the second shot, we spread out to take our follow-up drink of choice. I quickly stirred up a vodka and Sprite, allowing myself to disguise the taste of liquor.

“How are you, love?” Liam asked, coming over to my side and placing his hand on my back lightly.

“I’m okay, thank you. I’m happy it all went as smoothly as it did,” I admitted, laughing lightly.

“Trust me, I am too,” he agreed, slightly nodding his head as he spoke. “Have you ever noticed how we’re essentially the parents of this group?”

“I did,” I replied, pursing my lips together while looking ahead to see everyone aside from Harry either play fighting or getting up to some other childish shenanigan.

“I don’t need parental supervision!” Niall slurred loudly, apparently eavesdropping on our conversation. On his way over to us he tripped over his own two feet, as if to prove himself wrong.

“Suuure,” I sang, making Liam laugh next to me. I turned to look up at him. “Thank you again, by the way. I know this whole… situation, I guess, isn’t very conventional but you really saved our asses. We kind of burned every bridge we had back in the states so it’s not like going back home was an option either-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he smiled. “Ingrid’s the greatest and calmest driver I’ve ever seen, and you’re always so willing to stitch us up and cook for us whenever we get hurt or we’re just lazy bastards. It’s a fair trade, yeah?”

I shifted my attention back to the group ahead of me, where Zayn, Louis, Niall, and Ingrid had suddenly sprawled across the floor to play some sort of drinking game. Harry was standing against the wall with a beer bottle in his hand, also observing the group in front of him. He suddenly looked up and locked eyes with mine, making me suck in a breath and give a half-assed wave. He smiled tightly at me before looking back towards the group.

“Yeah, it is,” I responded finally, taking a large sip of my drink.