Aquatic Ties

It was okay. It really was okay, right? I mean Mark and I were the same. Well, we were the same when I had to legs. But not when I had a fin. God, this was a headache. What was I, when it came to something like this? Would my tail grow if someone splashed water on my legs? Oh crap, would it take over my legs and everyone would know that I'm some freak?

"So are you going to try to blow up your burger with your mind powers, or are you going to actually eat the thing?" Mark brings me back to the known crazy talk from my head.

I watch as he sips his drink. "Hey Mark, would we still be friends, if you knew something about me?"

He puts his drink down. "What are we talking about? Are we talking between the fact that water doesn't freak you out anymore or are we talking a really different level of something else?"

Shaking my head, I pick up my burger and bite into it, just not to say anything more to him. I should had known then to say anything about something like this. But I had to try. Why did I have to try and talk to him about something like this? He wouldn't understand.

"Brook, I was kidding you can tell me anything. You know that,"

Did I know that? Why was I thinking so much about all this? Did the car accident somehow bring us closer or was he still feeling about it? "Mark, what do you remember about the car accident?"

He pulls back, as if I just shocked him with a bolt of lightning. "Where did that come from?"

Putting my burger down, I grab a French fry and chew on it. "It's just that, we never really hung out like this before the car accident. Yeah, we would hang out with our friends, but not one on one like this. Are you feeling upset about the accident or something? Cause it wasn't your or my fault, it was raining really bad. If anything, I should maybe clipped you and maybe your truck wouldn’t had hit the tree. Or maybe that would had made it worse." I whisper that last part to myself and look down at my plate of food, like it will tell me everything I need to know. But it doesn’t, it just screams carbs and I really don't care about that, my body burns it off so fast due to stress it's scary.

He frowns at me, then looks away. "I don't remember the accident at all to tell you the truth. All I remember is that you were there and since then, my feelings have been mixed up since then. I mean, I liked you, that I remember that. But since the accident, it's almost as if I like you more than that."

He looks back at me and looks my face over, as if trying to unlock the box to my heart. But even I don't have the key for that thing. "I had a crush on you for the longest time and now-"

He smiles at me a painful smile. "I'm to late, that's to be expected I guess."

Looking down at my food, that I know longer want, my chest feels empty. "In truth, I don't even know if I should like the guy, that I like the guy now."

"Why do you say that?"

-Because he's different from the life I grew up with. Because I'm scared, of what I will become, if I embrace all of the sea world that I never knew to love in the first place.- But again, I can never say those words to him. "It's just the way I feel," I tell him.

***

When I got home, my step dad yelled at me for being late. It didn't matter what I told him, he "declared" that I was grounded. But I couldn't careless, I just wanted to go to bed. My stomach was still full from eating with Mark. So I just went to my room and stopped dead in my tracks when I seen the devil twins jumping on my bed. "Get out!" I scream at them.

The stop jumping and freeze in place, with big eyes. Those same big eyes, they use on mom when they are trying to plead not guilty about doing something. "We were just playing," they say at the same time.

Walking into my room, I point out the door. "Out,"

They jump down on to the floor with a big thud. Then they walk out grumbling how I'm no fun, but I really don't care. They leave my room and I close the door with my foot with a slam. Falling into bed, sleep sounds so good, that I even start drifting off into slumber.

***

I was swimming in the water. Well not swimming, more like floating on my back and just enjoying the water. I was at the place that Xavier took me that one place; but he wasn't around. I was alone. Why was that?

"Xavier?!" getting out of the water, my clothes aren't wet. I don't even have a tail this time.

He doesn't come for a few minutes, then he pokes his head out of the water. But I see nothing in his eyes. It's as if he's empty of everything. "Who do you like more Brook? Me or that human?" his voice is so dry of emotion, it makes me sad.

"I like both of my lives," I tell him, stepping, stepping around his question. Wait, why was I doing that? It's just a dream.

"I don't want to press you about anything Brook, I just want you to know." emotion starts to fill his eyes. "That not everything can be the same for long," then he sinks back down in the water.

"Xavier!" but he doesn’t come back.

***

Waking up in the dead of night, my heart is pounding. As if I just held my breath for a long time. It was to late to leave and say I was going to go see a friend. So I go to my desk, grab a piece of paper and a pen, then write out the goods and bads of being with a guy from under the water, to a guy on land.

1.Guy under the sea, can't stay on land for long.

2.Guy who can stay on land, can take on dates and spend a lot time together.

3.Guy under the sea, can show a world unknown.

4.Guy who is on land, can know parents like they are his own

5.Guy under the sea....

I couldn't think of number five for Xavier. I was at a lot for words on paper in my head for him. He and I wouldn’t work, like someone here on land. But then there was things I had to deal with, from under the ocean. But even that, I couldn't see far into the future. It was such a mess.

Putting my pen down, I get up and go to my dresser, where a mirror is placed above it. Pictures of my friends and I smiling, and laughing. The old me, had the world in her hands. And what did I have? Two worlds and not knowing, where to even start with that. Where did I even go? Where was up and where was down now?

Looking away from the pictures, I want to cry. The burning feeling is there, but they don't fall. Sleep didn't call for me anymore. So what in the world was I supposed to do now?