Empty With You

"Maybe if you weren't such a rebel!" Eric screamed back at me as I stood in the middle of his room.

"Why? You get to be an asshole. Why can't I be the rebel?" I screamed back at him.

"Factions don't need rebels!" Eric seethed at me. "It's people like you, why there are so many Factionless!"

"People like me?" I glared at him. "Please tell me how I'm fucking Erudite out of the system? Oh wait, no one wants Erudite to run everything!"

"It'd fix everything!" Eric shouted as he got my face.

"God, I'm so done with this, Eric," I let out a annoyed sigh. "You listen to your parents and Janine one goddamn night and al the sudden you hate me."

"I don't hate you. I'm just saying, you need to stop being such a rebel," He fought back.

"Because it'll hurt your chances of kissing everyone's ass?" I crossed my arms at him. "You know for being so smart, you're being incredibly stupid right now."

"What's so stupid about figuring out where I belong?" Eric's voice got low but serious as I felt like a knife was stabbing me.

"Fuck you, Eric," The tears stung my eyes. "I thought you loved me, but apparently one damn meeting with Janine and you're willing to throw that away."

"I do love you!" He snapped as he looked. "I just think you need to stop rebelling."

"I'm leaving," I turned my back towards him. "When you figure out that you can think for yourself, come find me."

"Ari," Eric sighed.

"Don't," I looked back at him but left his room.

It had only been two months since I had started teaching Tobias how to thow knives and two months since I took Eric to that warehouse room. I had been going there more often than none to work with Tobias but also to escape everything and tonight that included Eric.

He had got a call into Janine's office with his parents to talk about me while I was at the Abnegation compound. They felt they needed to talk to him about his rebellish girlfriend and how I needed to stop.

And he was listening which was the horrible part. It honestly pissed me off. It's why I know found myself at the warehouse, throwing knives in the darkened room at the wall with all the force I had in my body.

"Together for a year, Eric," I threw a knife at the wall. "Telling you my darkest secrets."

The knife hit the wall with such force, it echoed throughout the building.

"Seven years of knowing you," The wall made a sickening crack as the knife hit it. "All...."

Another knife hit the wall.

"For..." I threw the next knife faster and harder. "Right now."

I picked up a knife off the table next to me. "And I still fucking love you to death."

I threw the knife at the wall as hard as I could and stumbled back a bit as I felt like my energy was being pulled out of me, I wiped the sweat off my face as I held a knife and then ended up just throwing the blade across the floor to catch my breath.

I was unaware that the entire time, Tobias had walked into the building and had been watching me. It wasn't until I collasped to the ground with tears down my cheeks that I heard shuffling in the room. It caused me to stand up quickly and face the darkness with my guard up, half afraid I'd have to fight a Factionless just to stay alive tonight now.

Tobias' figure walked out of the shadows, showing me his hands as to know he wasn't a threat as I slowly sat down the knife I didn't realize I picked up.

"You ok?" He questioned as he looked.

"Fine," I nodded as I tried not to let my tears show. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"I seen you throw those knives," He nodded towards the wall. "It's a lot of anger."

"Yeah well people get angry, Stiff," I glared as he looked taken aback by the comment.

"And hostile too?" Tobias nodded. "You weren't this angry earlier."

"Yeah well, apparently I'm too much of a damn rebel to be anything," I half scouffed.

"What?" Tobias slowly walked over towards me.

"Don't fall in love," I half angrily chuckled with a dumb smile on my face. "Love is a bitch."

"I don't know," Tobias shrugged. "It doesn't seem that bad."

"Love will only hurt you," I glared at the wall. "And if you rebel against everything. It'll hurt a million times worse, because no one will want to be with you. You're too dangerous."

"Did Eric say that?" Tobias questioned as I shook my head.

"No, it's what I know," I swirled a knife on the table. "My family doesn't want anything to do with me. My Faction outs me. And Eric, well, he's listening to all the wrong people."

"Then why are you with him?" Tobias questioned. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Eric's actually a sweet guy, deep down," I smiled at the thought. "But he has his cold, malnipulative, cruel side. I've seen it. Know about it. Yet, I'm still attracted to both sides. As twisted and strange as that is."

"He does love you too, right?" Tobias moved closer to me.

"He says he does," I shrugged. "I just don't know. I'm just scared."

"Of what?" Tobias watched me as I took a deep breath.

"What if I ended up pregnant? What if I am pregnant with his kid?" I rambled as I didn't look at Eric. "I'm too young. It's not even Choosing Day and we're fighting like this. And then what if I'm not, which I hope not. What if I lose him on Choosing Day?"

"I don't think you'd lose him," Tobias shrugged.

"I can't stop being a rebel," I looked at Tobias. "That's what scares me too. I've tried and all those thoughts, Choosing Day, losing Eric, the future. I know somehow my rebellion is going to do more harm to me than good."

"So," Tobias shrugged as he moved closer to me. "Play the system."

"What?" I watched him as he shrugged.

"You're good at lying, hiding things," He looked at the table of knives. "An excellent fighter. So if the system feels the need to stop you from being a rebel, hide that part."

"Wow, even you're telling me to hide too," I half scouffed.

"No, I just don't want to see you Factionless," Tobias pointed out. "I mean, who would teach me the things you do?"

"Probably no one," I smirked. "Thanks. Sorry about that Stiff comment."

"You're not entirely," Tobias smirked at the thought a bit.

"Which I should be sorry for," I laughed. "But anyway, what are you doing here?"

"I had to escape him tonight," Tobias sighed as I gave him a look.

"Was it bad?" My heart stopped as I knew what that only meant.

"Not as much," He leant against the table. "I'm okay."

"I've heard that one before," I snickered to myself. "You know, you can leave Abnegation soon, right?"

"I don't know if I can," Tobias mumbled as he looked at his feet.

"You can do anything," I nudged him slightly. "Trust me."

"Yeah," He sighed as he looked at the wall, trying to avoid the subject. "Wow, you really are dangerous."

"Shut up," I shoved him. "I was angry."

"Pretty sure you murdered the wall," Tobias nodded at it.

"It made me feel better though," I shrugged as I moved my foot. "I just don't want to go home yet."

"I can relate," Tobias nodded.

"Wanna go walk with me?" I questioned. "I could use a friend right now."

"A friend you just called a Stiff," He pointed out.

"But you are," I shrugged. "And I said sorry."

"I know," Tobias smiled. "But won't we get caught."

"I hope not," I let out a breath as I moved towards the door.

Tobias and I ended up walking for a good hour around the city. Just talking about life, goals, fears. Everything.

We honestly got to know each other better. It made us become closer, like we were the friends each other needed. There was also something different about Tobias. He wasn't like all the Abnegation that I ran into, nor was he like Marcus either. He was bound to do great things if he set his mind to it.

Finally making my way back towards the direction of Candor, I was just about to walk home, but my feet and heart carried me towards the direction of Eric's house. I was still angry at our fight earlier but I didn't want to fight anymore. It wasn't like it was our first fight, we had many but after tonight, I realized that all my heart wanted was Eric.

Walking up to his house, I was about to knock on the door when it opened and he appeared in the doorway.

"Where have you been?" His red eyes met mine and his voice was hoarse.

"I had to clear my head," I half glared at him. "I was angry."

"About what?" Eric half glared at me. "Hearing the truth?"

"Why do I have bother?" I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm a damn rebel, but at least I'm not afraid to admit that I don't belong in Candor."

"You think I'm afraid?" Eric lowered his voice as his blue eyes stared me down.

"That's what all this is," I hissed at him. "You're scared because you're afraid of what's going to happen if you change factions against your family's wishes."

"You think you know everything," Eric hissed back. "You know nothing!"

"Then why don't you tell me!" I snapped. "You don't tell me anything that bothers you."

"What bothers me is you're hanging out with that Abnegation boy," Eric glared. "And that every night you run off and aren't home. What bothers me, is that my girlfriend can't be found and leaves me to think that maybe she isn't being faithful."

"I'm not in love with Tobias, nor have I ever cheated on you," I glared at him. "But this isn't about me, it's about you. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," Eric shrugged with a hint of attitude.

"Goddamn it," I grumbled and took his hand. "You're going to tell me tonight, even if I have to torture it out of you."

I drug Eric away from his house to be under the street lights. I stopped in front of him with arms crossed as I waited for him.

"You don't know what's it like living in a house full of true Erudite," Eric glared at me. "And to be the only one to know that you don't exactly fit in."

"Yeah, but only in Candor," I nodded at him.

"You only get one chance to impress your parents," Eric swallowed hard. "And Janine, well..."

"She threatened you, didn't she?" I watched as he retreated into himself.

"It doesn't concern you," He stated quietly.

"No, she'll learn to," I started to walk off when Eric grabbed my arm.

"You can't go up against a person like that," He hissed with fear in his eyes. "She's cold, heartless. She'll stop at nothing to get what she wants. And what she wants is for me to forget about anything that isn't Erudite."

"She wants you to forget me?" I swallowe hard afraid that the next few words would break my heart.

"She does," Eric's eyes left mine for a second that looked at me again. "But I can't. And I won't. I made you a promise and I know what those mean to you."

"So, she thinks she can just go around threatening people?" I questioned as he nodded.

"Yes," Eric whispered. "She threatened to out me. To cut all ties out. Make me Factionless."

"She can't-" I started.

"She can," Eric kept his grip on me. "And if anyone crosses her, it'll only end badly."

"Eric," My eyes softened to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're the rebelish one and would march into her office and threaten her back," He rolled his eyes. "And I don't want you to do anything stupid to get yourself hurt, or worse."

"If you don't want me to say anything, I won't," I watched his eyes. "Despite what you may think, I care alot about you and if you don't want me to do something, I won't."

"I don't want you to talk to the Stiff anymore," He slightly glared at me.

"Haha, no," I smirked only to see him sigh. "Nice try but that you can't control. Do I want to be in Abnegation, no, but I made my choices."

"Which is why i don't rebel," Eric pointed out.

"I know," I looked down a bit. "You can learn from my actions. But I can't quit, it's too addicting sometimes."

"Yeah," Eric drew out into the night as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So?"

"So," I shrugged and looked at him. "Are we okay? Or do you still want me to not be a rebel and you're pissed about it?"

"I hope we're okay," Eric shrugged. "I thought about it and everything, every scenario, had you in the end."

"You're such a hopeless romantic," I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's all your fault," Eric teased back.

"So hey," I shifted in my spot. "Hypothectically speaking, if you were dating someone and they thought they were pregnant, would you be mad?"

"I don't know," He looked at me. "Ari-"

"It's just a question," I mentioned quickly. "Just thinking."

"It is late," Eric's hand stretched out to mine. "Let's get some sleep."

"Yeah," I smiled lightly.

"And to answer your question, we'd figure it out. It wouldn't be exactly ideal, but we'd figure it out," Eric kissed my cheek.