Empty With You

"Ari, what's going on?" Eric looked at me as I took a deep breath.

"I wasn't attacked by a Factionless," My eyes met his with the sting of angry tears threatening to fall. "I know who my attacker was but no one will believe me nor want me to say anything."

"Ari," Eric moved closer to me. "Who attaced you?"

"Marcus," I gritted my teeth as I felt my pulse race. "He came back drunk, stumbling. I tried to avoid him but he-"

"I'll kill him," Eric teased up as I reached out to grab him. "And where was your so-called friend Tobias?"

"He left before Marcus got home," I swallowed hard. "He found me on the floor."

"He left you before he got home?" Eric's anger rose.

"It's not what you think," I looked at him. "It's complicated."

"Complicated? Ariana, you almost died tonight, how is it complicated?" Eric glared at me.

"I sent Tobias to get me help because, don't be angry but I couldn't risk it, I couldn't," I stopped as Eric gave me a look.

"Ariana, what'd you do?" His face changed to soften a bit towards me.

"I just kept thinking if Janine found out, if our families found out, all these if and I just wanted the safest thing," I rambled on as Eric's breathing quickened. "I swear, you have to trust me, have to still love me and understand why I did it."

"Were you-" Eric's breath caught in his throat as I bit my lip.

"Our son is safe. I know I should've told you when I found out, but I was scared. And I couldn't bring a child into this world, you and I know both know damn well the system is messed up and right now, it's unsafe for us to raise a child together," I watched as he got up from the bed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm a dad?" Eric spoke softly.

"I'm sorry," I pleaded as he turned to look at me. "and we're just so young. We still have so much ahead of us before-"

"I told you, we would work it out," Eric glared at me.

"I wasn't going to stand in the way of which Faction, you'd end up," I shook my head. "I went through everything and-"

"The system is messed up," Eric ran a hand through his hair to sit down next to me. "You swear our son is safe?"

"On my life," I reached out to take his hand. "And if I'm wrong and someone hurts him, it'll be hell to pay."

"Swear to me, after our Choosing Day and everything, the two of us find him and we'll raise him in a proper family situation?" Eric gave me a stern look.

"I swear, once it's safe again," I nodded as he leant down to kiss me.

"I'm still going to kill Marcus and any Abnegation that cover this up," He pointed to my side with anger in his eyes and voice.

"Don't do anything stupid," I pleaded with him. "I still need you too."

"I won't," Eric watched me as he laid down next to my body carefully.

"Because you're going to be the one who will bail me out when I get my revenge," I mumbled as I felt him laugh.

"It scares me how dark you can get," He slowly rested his hands on my body.

"Oh, you have no idea," I half glared but winced a bit. "I just need drugs and sleep now."

"Want me to get the nurse?" Eric whispered as I nodded slightly.

"In a bit," I watched as he looked up at me. "I want you to stop being so harsh on Tobias, do you hear me? He stayed with me the entire time as I was bleeding out on the floor. He's far from a coward."

"I'm not fighting about this right now," Eric gave me a look. "I'll let it slide for now. I thank him for being there, if it saved you."

"Thank you," I smiled lightly as I felt Eric move to get the nurse.

It wasn't long until I was out of the hospital, maybe two days total of being stuck in the room, being pumped with drugs. When I was finally, released, I mainly stayed with Eric or at home for a month until I finally felt stronger. Losing that much blood really took a toll on me. Not to mention, everything after getting stitched back up still hurt like a bitch.

Now, since that month passed, the Aptitude Tests were only three weeks away. And according to Jack Kang, I still had to work for Marcus Eaton, even though I really really didn't want to.

My feet stood in the doorway of the Eaton house trying to make their way into the small place, but they wouldn't budge. The muscles on my body tensed under my Candor clothes, making it feel like everyone could see the muscle build that I've gained through training.

This was fear. This is what I could so easily hide from everyone. I hadn't felt aniexty like this since I had that dream about losing Eric. Yes, I had other fears, but this, it was crippling. Everything in my body begged to not to go in and I would've ran and taken whatever punishment I had coming, but then the door opened.

Marcus stood there, a shocked look on his face as I stopped breathing. I didn't dare move. It was different to talk about wanting to hurt someone, then standing right in front of them like right now.

"Tobias is upstairs," Marcus gave me a look. "He'll help you with you studies."

There was something in his eyes, something that let down his guard for a second and he realized what he did but he knew he'd get away with it, as long as I kept quiet.

I didn't dare question it as I walked quickly up the stairs to find Tobias at his desk as I opened his door and leant against it. The breathing in my chest heavy as he took notice and walked over to me.

"You ok?" Tobias questioned as I shook off the thought or tried to.

"Fine," I took a deep breath in and he gave me a look. "I'm not supposed to be afaid of anyone. Hell, Janine Matthews doesn't scare me."

"Hey," Tobias moved closer to me. "It's ok, there's nothing wrong with fear."

"I know there's nothing wrong with fear," I snapped at him and moved away a bit. "I'm a Candor, I'm supposed to be honest and tell the truth. But one look at him, and I can't. I can't."

"Hey," Tobias rushed over to hug me tightly. "It's ok. You'll be ok."

"This isn't just fear," I whispered into his shoulder. "This is mind and body crippling fear that I never felt before. And I've jumped off high bars when I was like five."

"I know," Tobias tried to calm me down. "He's the one thing I fear most, deep down. But we can't let him get to us, understand? We have to push him to the back of our minds and be stronger than him. Because we can't let him win."

"I'll try," I sighed as I moved away from him to gather my thoughts. "Don't tell anyone, I haven't even told Eric, I'm that afraid."

"Your secret's safe with me," Tobias crossed his heart.

"So," I let out a breath of air as he sat down on his bed. "How's your knife throwing been going?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tobias raised an eyebrow at me. "You almost die because of knives and you still want to throw them."

"I'm not afraid of knives," I shook my head with a smile. "Hell, it's one of the things I'm good at."

"Besides breaking rules," Tobias pointed out as I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up," I picked up my bag. "Are you coming with me or not?"

"Yeah," Tobias perked up as we both headed out his window as to not alert Marcus downstairs.

The warehouse was dark and damp today. Mainly due to the rain from earlier in the day. It was quiet too, making our footsteps echo off the wall as we walked into the practice room.

I sat up the knives on the table in front of the target as Tobias watched me. He looked at all the knives, minus one because that one was of course evidence for the council which really sucked.

"Alright," I crossed my arms at him. "Let's see what you got."

"I-" He started to stammer.

"Nope, none of that, go," I taunted him as he picked up a knife and threw it directly at the target.

The blade stuck in the wall but off to the side of the human shaped target outline. It wasn't far from the right shoulder on it but still, it wasn't close enough.

"Follow through," I watched him as he picked up another knife. "Watch where you want that blade to land."

Tobias did it again and it bounced off the wall this time as he looked down and picked up another knife. I walked over to him before he started to throw again.

"Keep your hips straight," I moved his hips with my hands and blushed a little. "Even if you get good enough to do trick throws, make sure your body stays in line with your throwing. Think of it as all your energy is going straight through your body."

Tobias went to throw again, this time, it hit the outline of the target, as close as humanly possible. He picked up a few more as I watched him and slowly moved out to the target and stood in front of it, he was about to throw the knife again when he stopped and looked at me.

"Focus, Tobias," I looked eyes with him. "Concentrate on where you want the blade to land."

"I don't want to hit you," Tobias looked at me.

"You won't," I smirked. "I trust you. Now, go."

"I can't," Tobias pulled the blade back as I rolled my eyes.

"Stop being a Stiff and throw the blade!" I glared at him as he tensed.

"Aww, what's the matter Stiff, afraid you'll miss?" I smirked again.

"Ariana, stop," He pleaded.

"Ariana stop," I mocked him. "God, do you always whine this much?"

"I'm not Marcus," He mentioned.

"No one is," I let out an angry laugh. "Marcus couldn't do what you're doing. Marcus is too afraid to stand up for anything. But what do you want to be Tobias? Do you want to be a coward forever?"

I felt the wall shake next to me as Tobias let the blade land in wall right next to my ear, followed by two more, one above my head and one off to my left side. I smirked as I walked away from the wall and over towards him.

"Not bad," I admired the knives in the wall. "You're almost better than I am at this."

"That was cold and malnipulative," Tobias mumbled as I nudged.

"And you enjoyed every bit of it," I smirked at him only to see him smile. "You have it in you to do great things, Tobias. Don't ever think otherwise."