Am I Losing Myself?

I groaned loudly as I clutched my side in pain. Jared fucking punched me in the face and when I fell down, he continued to kick my side. I didn't fight back, due to trying to carry out my escape plan. Jared got hauled away to solitary. I thought I was going to but, another inmate assured Bobby that I didn't lay a finger on Jared.

Frank grabbed my hand and helped pull me up. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I'll be fine."
Frank bit his lip. "Are you sure? I saw what that asshole did to you."
"Yes, Frank. I mean I've been in fights before."
Frank frowned slightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't around to stop him."
"Not your fault. Now let's go back to our cell."

I flinched in pain as I tried to climb up the ladder to get to my bunk. Frank stood there shaking his head.

"Gerard, you can lay in my bunk if you want."

(Frank originally had the top bunk. He grew tired of having to go up and down the ladder so we switched.)

I hesitated first, but agreed. There was no sense in arguing with Frank. I was supposed to be strong. Lately I've been showing signs of weakness. I blame Frank.

I climbed onto Frank's bottom bunk and winced again. That fucker got me good.

Frank looked over at me with concern in his eyes. Next, he walked over to the bunk and slowly lifted my shirt up.

He gasped. "Jesus Christ."
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him. "What's wrong?"
"Just look." Frank said before taking my shirt off all the way.

My eyes immediately widened. I was littered with black and blue marks, some dark almost black.

"He must have kicked my ribs."
"You couldn't feel where he was kicking you?"
"No. I did, but I don't know why I'd bruise like that if he didn't."
"Ah. I see what you mean. You should get checked out." Frank looked at me with a serious expression on his face.
"Ugh, Frank. No. I don't want to."
"But you're hurt. Please? For me?"
"Frank..."
"Please?"
"Ugh. Fine."

****
The prison's nurse; Brendon Urie was checking me out. The bruises that is.

"Well, Way, you're ribs are badly bruised. Don't think they're broken."
"That's good news."
"Uh-huh. May I ask what happened?"
"Jared Leto kicked my ass."
"What a shame."
"Yeah."

Brendon cleared his throat. "If the bruises worsen or the pain doesn't subside, come see me again."
"Will do. But what if they don't let me?"
He sighed. "I'll handle it. I'll tell the higher ups to let me or Dr. Ross have a look at you every day or so to make sure. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure. That's fine."
"Great. You should probably go back now."

Brendon escorted me back to my cell with an ice pack in his hand. He was going to let me ice my bruises there, but I didn't want to be yelled at by Crowley. So, Brendon said he will tell Bobby he gave me an icepack in my cell for my injuries, just so I don't get in trouble.

Frank was sleeping in my bunk. I smiled softly to myself and layed down on his bed. I took the ice pack and gently pressed it on top of my bruises, gasping at the pain and coldness. I kept the ice pack there for 15 minutes or so. The ice pack was starting to melt so I took it off and tossed it into the floor.

I sighed and shut my eyes, letting myself drift off to sleep.

*A few hours later*

I opened my eyes and looked around the cell. Frank wasn't there. He must be at dinner, I thought. I shrugged and slid my shirt up to my chest to check out my bruises. They were still ugly and angry looking.

I pulled my shirt back down and got up off the bed to take a piss. I tucked myself back into my underwear and pants. I washed my hands and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I look like shit.

****
Honestly, I don't know how I let this happen to me. I murdered two men that I thought were gonna kill me, if I didn't kill them first. I panicked and got myself locked up like an animal. I ruined my life and the longer I stay here, the weaker I feel myself become.

I thought prison was supposed to make you tough, but in reality I was scared. Scared and wanted to go home.

I Never should have done something so stupid. The only good that came of this whole shitty experience is Frank. Yet, I can't really have Frank. We can never have a normal relationship no matter how badly I want to.

I killed people, he did not. All he did was help bury a body.

My thoughts were interrupted by the cell door creaking open. Frank stepped inside and smiled when he saw I was awake.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"
"Sore, but I'll live."

He kissed my cheek and headed over to the toilet, pulling his ugly orange pants and underwear down, and sat down.

"Oh God, Frank. Don't tell me you're taking a shit."
"Sorry."
"Ugh, fuck." I pulled the covers up over my head, trying my best not to gag.

I heard Frank laugh and started humming to myself to drown out the noise around me.

****
Frank and I were the only ones in the showers. Bobby took pity on me because of my so called injuries and let Frank and I shower separate from the others so I don't get hurt worse than I already am. How sweet.

Frank giggled and squirted shampoo at me.
"Hey! Stop that, you ass!"

He let out another giggle and squirted more at me. I glared at him and Frank's expression changed pretty fast and he gulped. I stepped closer to him. He backed up towards the wall until I had him cornered.

It hurt a little but there was no way I was going to show any sign of pain. Not now.

I slowly ran a hand up and down Frank's side, causing whimpers to leave his lips.

"G-Gerard, what are you doing?"

I smirked and pressed my body further against his and kissed him roughly. Frank gasped into my mouth as he kissed back.

Soon enough, our kisses become rougher and more heated. I dropped onto my knees in front of Frank and ran my tongue up the base of his hardened dick.

He bucked his hips forward and whined. "Just fucking touch me."

I wasted no time and wrapped my lips around him, and began bobbing my head. Frank moaned louder as he got closer to his orgasm.

"Fuck. So so so close" Frank panted.

I started to jerk him off as I sucked on the head, making Frank buck his hips forward into my mouth. He tangled his fingers in my hair and started fucking my mouth, cumming hard down my throat shortly after.

I smirked and let Frank's dick slide out of my mouth. I raised a hand up to my chin and wiped off the cum and reached down to jack myself off.

Once I came, we finished actually cleaning ourselves then shut the water off. We speedily put our clothes on and headed back to our cell.