‹ Prequel: Pregnancy: Life or Death?
Show Me a Life With Blood and With Beauty
Everyday
We stayed at the funeral home a while and counted our blessings since each day was a blessing. I investigated different rooms each day and trying to figure out what was left. Daryl yelled from another room and I ran to see what he wanted. He opened a bunch of cupboards and there in front of my eyes was a stock pile of food. I couldn't help but smile. Daryl decided since no place was safe to try to give us a head start if something bad happened. He found some random string and a few pieces of metal and junk and placed it in front of the door. We waited and nothing. 'I think we could stay here. Nothing has really happened since we got here. A few walkers but nothing we can't handle.' Beth said. I smiled at her wanting to agree with her, but at the same time not wanting to get to comfortable. We sat down at the table and started dividing the food up between the 3 of us. I set things to the side and Daryl ended up grabbing what me and Beth wouldn't eat. We were eating and all of a sudden we heard a noise outside, Daryl jumped up and told me and Beth to stay where we were. I heard the door open and nothing. I heard Daryl grunt and me and Beth stood up and walked to the doorway and we saw Daryl close the door and turn around '... I told you guys to stay back. What if it was a walker? You both need to stay where I tell you to.' - 'So if it wasn't a walker what was it?' I asked timidly. 'A damn dog. I reached out and he ran.' Beth's eyes lit up 'A DOG?!' It was so cute seeing her get super happy over a dog.
Beth and Daryl were in the kitchen area and I was in a different room trying to juggle nursing both babies and change them. I heard the pans and everything clank and I stopped dead in my tracks. I heard chairs scoot across the floor and I faintly heard Daryl grumble to himself 'I'm giving that damn dog one more chance...' and he opened the door and I heard the moans. I heard Daryl start screaming for me and Beth and I grabbed up my bag and a baby harness and stepped out of the room and looked at Daryl trying to hold the door. I walked ran over and he told me to run. I looked at him with a worried look. 'RUN! I'LL FIND YOU! JUST GET OUT OF HERE! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!' - I looked at him and almost cried. 'What if you die?! This is suicide!' - 'I.. I can't hold this door back much longer. Just run! I'll be okay. Get those babies to safety.' I shook my head and ran. I didn't see Beth anywhere. I ran straight for the woods and didn't stop. I had Miracle in the harness and Judith was in my backpack, I tried my best to make her safe. My lungs were burning, so I had to slow down. I walked through the woods and cried my eyes out. What if Daryl didn't make it? What if I don't ever find the group? What if Daryl was right and the 5 of us were the only prison members who survived? What if I'm on my own until the end? How can I manage 2 babies and walkers at every turn? I stopped and whispered to myself 'Stop this. Don't focus on this.'
I kept walking and walking and tried to push the fact Daryl and Beth might be dead and I could be on my own and never see both of them again and my daughter won't ever know her daddy, and that Judith won't know anything about her family. The sun beat down on me and I knew I had to ration my water since didn't know what the future held. I heard a light cry coming from behind me and decided that I should stop. I lifted Judith out of the backpack and tried my best to figure out what she wanted. I tried to figure out how long had it been since both babies ate anything and I sat there with both babies in my arms and looked down at their faces and the thought echoed 'What life do these babies have now?' After all was said and done I tried to walk until I couldn't see what was around me. I never really could climb trees so that was out of the question. I decided that sitting under a tree all night was the only option. I watched as the sky went from a beautiful blue to total darkness. I let the babies sleep and I stayed awake the whole night. I couldn't help but remember when me and Daryl and Beth stayed awake like this. It wasn't fun alone. I stared at the blackness and tried my best not to cry. Morning came slowly, and I fed both babies and changed them and hurried on my way to figure out where to go. I made sure Judith was safely tucked away in the bag on my back. I put my daughter in the harness and walked to an unknown place, where hopefully Daryl was waiting. I heard moans behind me and looked over my shoulder and saw a lone walker behind me. I tried to ignore it, until it was more. I looked behind me and saw 2. I grabbed my knife and stabbed both in the head. I looked at the bodies on the ground and closed my eyes and had to hold back tears. 'What if Daryl got bit and he's one of those damned things?! What if I have to put a knife through his head?!' I turned around and continued on my way.
I encountered a few more walkers and took them out. Each walker I killed I thought of it as Daryl. The babies started crying and I had to stop, I held both babies and they settled down. I put they back into their places and carried on. I started whispering 'Shut the fuck up Daryl' and I imagined him walking beside me and saying the stuff he normally said to me. I just needed a major hug and he always gave the best ones. I dragged my feet along the dirt path and heard my stomach growl. I hadn't had a chance to pack food in my backpack, so I was stuck having to hunt animals that didn't run to fast. Daryl sort of taught me how to hunt small game, when we got to know each other and I wanted to follow him like a lost puppy. I was following a rabbit and finally got a hold of it and got my knife ready to gut it and it looked at me and our eyes met and I couldn't go through with it. I let it go and looked down at my hands. I couldn't kill an animal for food, and I'd rather starve to death than hurt an animal. I always thought that I could take care of myself, but I realized I depended on Daryl for a lot of things. I sat down under the tree shielding me from the hot sun. I let both babies lay down in the cool grass and smiled. For a little moment they looked like normal babies, laying in the grass. This world wasn't going to be easy on them, us adults could understand what was happening children didn't understand. I wanted my daughter to have the innocence every child should have.
I stayed in the same spot until the next morning. I survived one more day. I put another line down on my arm so far I had been out here 3 days if my records were correct. I continued on my way. I stopped cold when I saw the train tracks. I saw a few walkers around and tried to take them out one by one. I got to the last one and it had ripped a huge chunk of skin out of a guy's throat and he was screaming in pain. I went up and stabbed the thing in the head and looked down at the man on his knees I started crying. 'Stay on the tracks. Don't do what I did.' and he looked at my daughter and said 'Protect that one.' - 'I have another one in the bag. She lost her whole family, I'm looking for my husband. We got separated and...' - 'Hopefully you'll find him. Take care of yourself.' I said 'Thank you' and I asked 'Do you... want me to.. er erm..' He shook his head and I went to stab him and his body fell to the ground. I..I just killed a person. I sat down next to the body and cried. I quickly picked myself up off the ground and ran when I saw a walker start to come out of the woods. I ran until I knew that it wasn't following me. I stopped at a sign that read 'TERMINUS : THOSE WHO ARRIVE. SURVIVE' I looked at the map and it had path marked. I thought of Daryl and Beth... maybe just maybe they saw this. I walked a few more steps and something inside me said 'This is a trap. Nothing is safe anymore. Remember the prison?' I kept walking and found an abadoned rail car and decided to stay put for the night. It was getting dark. I curled up with the babies and tried to sleep. I kept dozing off. I heard a sound and realized it was storming really bad. The thunder made the babies wake up and I was trying to calm them down but nothing worked. I let them eat a little and it sort of clamed them down. After they went back to sleep I laid down next to them. I knew it was dangerous to sleep, but this world brought me the joys of falling asleep and then the slightest sound waking me up. I woke up and peeked out of the door and saw the sun shinning. I packed up both babies and started walking toward Terminus. I walked for what seemed like an eternity. I kept seeing the signed and kept looking at the maps and seeing about how far away. I couldn't really tell if the lines were getting shorter, but I knew I had to try. I knew that if Daryl saw the signs he'd go so I decided that I had to give it a shot.
Beth and Daryl were in the kitchen area and I was in a different room trying to juggle nursing both babies and change them. I heard the pans and everything clank and I stopped dead in my tracks. I heard chairs scoot across the floor and I faintly heard Daryl grumble to himself 'I'm giving that damn dog one more chance...' and he opened the door and I heard the moans. I heard Daryl start screaming for me and Beth and I grabbed up my bag and a baby harness and stepped out of the room and looked at Daryl trying to hold the door. I walked ran over and he told me to run. I looked at him with a worried look. 'RUN! I'LL FIND YOU! JUST GET OUT OF HERE! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF!' - I looked at him and almost cried. 'What if you die?! This is suicide!' - 'I.. I can't hold this door back much longer. Just run! I'll be okay. Get those babies to safety.' I shook my head and ran. I didn't see Beth anywhere. I ran straight for the woods and didn't stop. I had Miracle in the harness and Judith was in my backpack, I tried my best to make her safe. My lungs were burning, so I had to slow down. I walked through the woods and cried my eyes out. What if Daryl didn't make it? What if I don't ever find the group? What if Daryl was right and the 5 of us were the only prison members who survived? What if I'm on my own until the end? How can I manage 2 babies and walkers at every turn? I stopped and whispered to myself 'Stop this. Don't focus on this.'
I kept walking and walking and tried to push the fact Daryl and Beth might be dead and I could be on my own and never see both of them again and my daughter won't ever know her daddy, and that Judith won't know anything about her family. The sun beat down on me and I knew I had to ration my water since didn't know what the future held. I heard a light cry coming from behind me and decided that I should stop. I lifted Judith out of the backpack and tried my best to figure out what she wanted. I tried to figure out how long had it been since both babies ate anything and I sat there with both babies in my arms and looked down at their faces and the thought echoed 'What life do these babies have now?' After all was said and done I tried to walk until I couldn't see what was around me. I never really could climb trees so that was out of the question. I decided that sitting under a tree all night was the only option. I watched as the sky went from a beautiful blue to total darkness. I let the babies sleep and I stayed awake the whole night. I couldn't help but remember when me and Daryl and Beth stayed awake like this. It wasn't fun alone. I stared at the blackness and tried my best not to cry. Morning came slowly, and I fed both babies and changed them and hurried on my way to figure out where to go. I made sure Judith was safely tucked away in the bag on my back. I put my daughter in the harness and walked to an unknown place, where hopefully Daryl was waiting. I heard moans behind me and looked over my shoulder and saw a lone walker behind me. I tried to ignore it, until it was more. I looked behind me and saw 2. I grabbed my knife and stabbed both in the head. I looked at the bodies on the ground and closed my eyes and had to hold back tears. 'What if Daryl got bit and he's one of those damned things?! What if I have to put a knife through his head?!' I turned around and continued on my way.
I encountered a few more walkers and took them out. Each walker I killed I thought of it as Daryl. The babies started crying and I had to stop, I held both babies and they settled down. I put they back into their places and carried on. I started whispering 'Shut the fuck up Daryl' and I imagined him walking beside me and saying the stuff he normally said to me. I just needed a major hug and he always gave the best ones. I dragged my feet along the dirt path and heard my stomach growl. I hadn't had a chance to pack food in my backpack, so I was stuck having to hunt animals that didn't run to fast. Daryl sort of taught me how to hunt small game, when we got to know each other and I wanted to follow him like a lost puppy. I was following a rabbit and finally got a hold of it and got my knife ready to gut it and it looked at me and our eyes met and I couldn't go through with it. I let it go and looked down at my hands. I couldn't kill an animal for food, and I'd rather starve to death than hurt an animal. I always thought that I could take care of myself, but I realized I depended on Daryl for a lot of things. I sat down under the tree shielding me from the hot sun. I let both babies lay down in the cool grass and smiled. For a little moment they looked like normal babies, laying in the grass. This world wasn't going to be easy on them, us adults could understand what was happening children didn't understand. I wanted my daughter to have the innocence every child should have.
I stayed in the same spot until the next morning. I survived one more day. I put another line down on my arm so far I had been out here 3 days if my records were correct. I continued on my way. I stopped cold when I saw the train tracks. I saw a few walkers around and tried to take them out one by one. I got to the last one and it had ripped a huge chunk of skin out of a guy's throat and he was screaming in pain. I went up and stabbed the thing in the head and looked down at the man on his knees I started crying. 'Stay on the tracks. Don't do what I did.' and he looked at my daughter and said 'Protect that one.' - 'I have another one in the bag. She lost her whole family, I'm looking for my husband. We got separated and...' - 'Hopefully you'll find him. Take care of yourself.' I said 'Thank you' and I asked 'Do you... want me to.. er erm..' He shook his head and I went to stab him and his body fell to the ground. I..I just killed a person. I sat down next to the body and cried. I quickly picked myself up off the ground and ran when I saw a walker start to come out of the woods. I ran until I knew that it wasn't following me. I stopped at a sign that read 'TERMINUS : THOSE WHO ARRIVE. SURVIVE' I looked at the map and it had path marked. I thought of Daryl and Beth... maybe just maybe they saw this. I walked a few more steps and something inside me said 'This is a trap. Nothing is safe anymore. Remember the prison?' I kept walking and found an abadoned rail car and decided to stay put for the night. It was getting dark. I curled up with the babies and tried to sleep. I kept dozing off. I heard a sound and realized it was storming really bad. The thunder made the babies wake up and I was trying to calm them down but nothing worked. I let them eat a little and it sort of clamed them down. After they went back to sleep I laid down next to them. I knew it was dangerous to sleep, but this world brought me the joys of falling asleep and then the slightest sound waking me up. I woke up and peeked out of the door and saw the sun shinning. I packed up both babies and started walking toward Terminus. I walked for what seemed like an eternity. I kept seeing the signed and kept looking at the maps and seeing about how far away. I couldn't really tell if the lines were getting shorter, but I knew I had to try. I knew that if Daryl saw the signs he'd go so I decided that I had to give it a shot.