It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses Their Mind

“What happened next?” she questioned, trying to urge me on with my story. My hands rested in my lap, tightly clasped to each other from the emotional pain that was well and truly stirring within me. The story had been leading up to this point, but now that it was finally here I didn’t want to tell it. “Please continue. I want to hear more.” I met her familiar eyes and then sighed, giving in.

“He caught me…” I whispered, gaze unfocused as I slipped back into the memory.

I stood at the entrance to a maze made of hedges. It was so enormous I didn’t understand how I had missed it during my previous outings. One hand held the lantern out, trying to illuminate the shadows the lavender moonlight had cast, while the other clasped the necklace Regina had given me. It had finally begun to glow. Even though the light was dim, I had a gut feeling the box resided somewhere in the Queen of Hearts’ labyrinth. Determined to retrieve Regina’s item, I inhaled deeply and then stepped forwards to enter.

A hand gripped my arm and heaved me backwards. I stumbled away from the hedges and almost dropped the lantern, steadying myself quickly and relaxing once I spotted Jefferson’s alarmed face, relieved that he wasn’t one of the queen’s guards.

“What do you think you’re doing? You can’t go in there!” he hissed. His tone was mostly trying to scold me for being foolish, but I also heard his sincere concern for me.

“I just wanted to explore, go on an adventure,” I tried to reason. “I would have been fine by myself.” Jefferson’s jaw locked with anger and he stepped to the side, lifting a twig and throwing it at the hedge. In the light from our lanterns and the purple moon, I watched the hedge effortlessly swallow the twig. I imagined its magic would be strong enough to strangle a person to death.

“What are you doing out here?” Jefferson asked me again and this time I couldn’t find the willpower to deceive him. I removed my hand from my necklace to reveal its pale shine.

“I’m trying to find something for the queen,” I answered in a hushed voice. “The queen from our land.”

“Is that why we came here?” Jefferson said. My face creased at the sound of his pain. He felt betrayed and all I could feel was regret. “I thought this was about you and I, that we were going on an adventure together and-“

“We are! And we’ve had an interesting time living here, but we don’t belong, we need to return,” I reasoned and Jefferson hesitated. I wordlessly questioned his reaction, gazing up at him with pleading eyes so he would be prompted to voice his thoughts.

“I was actually going to suggest to you that we stay,” Jefferson confessed. My jaw almost hit the ground.

“What? Why?” I murmured, too shocked to form any further words.

“Because this queen actually accepts us. She’s given us a job and we’ll be well off if she likes our hats. She doesn’t force us to stay poor and barely get by!” he explained before reaching out to take my hand. “I thought we could start over here, turn a new leaf and live our lives together.” As much as I wanted to enjoy the romantic gesture, I could only frown.

“Jefferson, this land is driving me insane. I can’t stay here,” I muttered before pulling out of his grasp.

“I can’t let you go in there, you’ll be killed by all of the traps!” Jefferson insisted.

“How do you know so much about the maze?” I questioned with a scowl. Had he been doing his own sneaking around Wonderland?

“I’ve been asking questions, learning about this place so I could convince you to stay here,” Jefferson admitted and I shook my head.

“Well a deathly hedge isn’t very convincing,” I retorted.

“And a life of endless poverty isn’t ideal in the Enchanted Forest either. How can you not see this fantastic opportunity?” Jefferson questioned with a flail of his arms.

“I- I-” I stammered. My gaze went to the left and I saw one of the massive red toadstools amongst the towering blades of grass. It made me feel claustrophobic, and I felt a huge desire overcome me, begging me to flee from this insane world before it was too late. “I just can’t stay here.” I breathed the words before running down the path and away from Jefferson and the labyrinth. Regina was asking too much of me. I couldn’t do it.

Blood was rushing past my ears, drowning out the calls from Jefferson behind me. My vision became narrowed, only allowing me to focus on the lavender-hued landmarks that guided me back to the looking glass, the spot we had entered this demented world through. With it finally in my sights, I slowed down and kept a wary eye on the colossal caterpillar lounging on a nearby toadstool.

“You can’t!” Jefferson panted, crashing into me. I struggled against his twisting arms and manage to writhe free and face him.

“I can’t stay here! Come back with me, we can find somewhere else,” I suggested but he shook his head.

“I need you to trust me, I can make this work for us, if you want to be with me,” he pleaded.

“I want to, but you have to understand that I can’t stay in Wonderland,” I said, refusing to change my mind. I pulled away from him and caught the caterpillar’s attention. “Either you follow me through the portal, or this caterpillar does. Got it?” The caterpillar nodded drowsily and began sliding down the toadstool, already prepared to follow.

“You would rather he joined you?” Jefferson cried while stumbling after me.

“Well two went through, so two must return. It’s the rules of the hat, not mine. I’m not going to get stuck somewhere indefinitely because you refused to follow!” I shouted. My head felt pressurised, like it was going to explode if I didn’t get away from Wonderland’s poisonous air, so I leapt towards the portal, stopping just before I breached the glass barrier. “Please, Jefferson…” After my plea I stepped through to the sound of Jefferson’s screams.

I expected to be returned to the room inside the hat that was full of portal doors, waiting for the second person to come through, but instead I was spat out of the hat and into the Enchanted Forest. Minutes passed as I looked around me, searching for the second being, but I never saw Jefferson or the caterpillar. I lifted the hat from the ground and peered inside, as if that would help in some way, but I was holding an ordinary hat. I was alone, and after all of my travels and adventures, I had never felt so lost before.

“Where was he? What did you do?” she breathed with wide eyes.

“I went to the only man who could give me answers, the same man who had defined the magic of my hats many years ago, a powerful magician,” I answered while wiping a tear from my cheek.