Catnip

9. Cravings

A/N- Please take notice on how Austin is drunk in this chapter.

· · ·

I walked down the wooden stairs and towards the kitchen. I had been pulled from a dreamless sleep due to hunger. I hadn't really eaten at all today, besides breakfast anyways. It felt like it was past midnight, but I wasn't for sure. I was craving for pickles, even though I personally despised them.

When I got to the kitchen I turned on the light and went to the fridge. I scanned the refrigerator until I found a jar of pickles. I closed the door to the fridge once I had the jar in my hands. I went over to the island, sitting on one of the black chairs and began to eat the pickles.

Not too long after that I found myself eating more than I intentionally desired, I stopped eating as soon as I realized it. I closed the jar of pickles, placing them back in the fridge before going to wash my hands. Austin stood at the door of the kitchen. His arms crossed over his chest, his facial expression was unreadable. Something about him was off, I couldn't place it yet though.

"What are you doing in here?" He confronted me, slowly walking over to me. I let my tail fall still, the ears on top of my head fell underneath my ginger hair.

"I- I was-um- Hungry, so I..." I trailed off.

"You were hungry? What did you eat?" he asked, stepping over to the fridge.

"Pickles." I answered while moving out of his way. Austin picked a jar of pickles out of the fridge before turning to face me.

"This jar was full when it was put in here. Nearly half of it's gone. " He looked from the jar to me. His eyebrows now slightly raised in my direction.

"I guess someone else had eaten from it before me." I lied easily. I didn't need Austin on my back about this. He was already intimidating to me, and he made sure he knew who was the one in charge around here.

It was silent for a few more minutes. I looked at my bare feet while messing with the ends of my sweatshirt. He placed the jar back in the fridge. Austin watched me for a little while longer before finally saying something.

"Don't bite your lip like that." He ordered, standing in front of me now. Instead of looking at his eyes, I looked down at his chest. There was the slight smell of alcohol on his breath, I hated it. Austin rested his hands on my hips, then squeezed gently. While he did this I tried my best to control my breathing. He was drunk and was probably doing this because of the drinks. I placed my hands over his hands, moving them off of my hips. He placed them back on there the second I let go of his hands.

When I looked back up at him, he had this sly smile on his face. He then lent down and placed his lips on mine. They tasted of alcohol. I froze, not able to compute what he did this time. With a push to his chest, I got him to stop. He looked at me, clearly baffled.

"I'm not in the mood." I say sharply. He needed to know that I didn't want this, no matter what. I kept my eyes locked on his, he was slightly taken aback.

"Excuse me?" he asked, his voice was starting to be filled with anger.

"I'm not in the mood for anything sexual." I look down at his chest while I spoke this time. My voice was quiet by the end of my sentence, regret starting to fill me.

"I didn't ask if you where in the mood or not." he snapped, angrily.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, regret came over me the moment I uttered those words.

"You're sorry?" He spoke sarcastically and harshly. I let out a shaky breath, my hands starting to shake some as he began to get more harsher with his words.

"I-I'm so-" I was interrupted with a slap across the right side of my face. My head went towards the left, my jaw slightly slack from shock.

"Shut the fuck up." He yelled at me. I shut my mouth the second I heard those words leave his mouth. He moved some hair away from my neck and began to kiss there. I closed my eyes from fear, dreading what was to come from this. Before he could go any further, a voice snapped him away from my neck. I opened my eyes slowly, seeing him shooting daggers at the person who made him stop.

"Leave the lad alone, mate." I could heard a thick British accent. I glanced over at the male, seeing the person was about as tall as Austin and had just as many tattoos. His was more like a bowl cut, but with an 'emo' feel to it. (A/N- Laughing at that hair description tho.)

"Oli, I'll do what I want." he snapped, turning back to me. The first thing he did was try to kiss me again. I rejected him though, turning my head so he kissed my cheek instead. He grabbed a hold of my chin and forced his lips on mine again. This time I tried to move away. I pushed his chest roughly and tried to get away, but Austin kept me from doing so.

Oli, who I am guessing is his name, pulled me away from his grasp though. He motioned for me to get behind him, and I did. Oli's hand was on Austin's chest, keeping him from reaching me. My hands shook from the encounter with Austin.

"Give him back, Oli!" Austin yelled at Oli.

"Austin, you're not thinking clearly. What the hell happened to your 'no rape' rule? Huh?!" Oli yelled at him. I had my arms crossed over my chest protectively, praying that Oli could keep him away.

I peaked around Oli, keeping most of my body behind Oli. Austin's face fell into a look of realization. He looked at both of us with a frightened look. It was a horrific thing to see, to me, mostly because of the lack of emotion he shows when he's around me. The only time he shows any type of emotion would be when he tries to fuck me.

"Oh my god..." he uttered, the realization was obviously hitting him hard.

"Go to another room." Oli whispered to me. I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

As I walked towards my room, I could hear them yelling at each other. The farther away I got, the more faint their voices became. I was sort of glad I couldn't hear them arguing. Whenever people argued it brought back memories that I dreaded.

I slam the door to my room shut, sliding down the door. The realization of what happened hit me like a ten ton of bricks. I was so naive, so stupid, for doing everything I had done with Austin. Deep down, I thought there was an animal that he caged. That animal he supposedly caged, was clawing at the gates tonight, begging to be freed.

I don't want to see what he truly is, to see the man he really is underneath that rough exterior. Whether it's good or bad, I don't want to see it. He was my kidnapper and I couldn't be starting to feel something, anything, for this monster.

If Oli hasn't shown up when he did, I would've gotten raped. I would have been scared for life because of that event, but he didn't get to go through with it.. Even though we had done it before, it was always, always, under the influence of that drug he gave me on the first day. If it wasn't because of the drug I wouldn't have let him do those things to me, yet alone enjoy it.

But the thing was, we've done it twice without the need of a drug. It's very conflicting for me, a victim of a kidnapper, to try and understand why I did what I did. Was it out of curiosity? Or was it something more?

I didn't know which one it was. I most certainly wasn't for sure if I wanted to know the answer.