Hold Onto Me

As the door to Niall’s rather large house opened, I stepped inside and let my eyes roam. It was definitely a nice place, with some simple yet modern furniture decorating the living room. There were trophies and platinum albums decorating the shelves and the walls, and I wondered if maybe there was more to this band than I thought.

Unless I underestimated the power of good hair and a cute smile.

Niall set his keys on the table by the door and slipped out of his jacket. “So this is it.”

“For such a nice place, it’s . . . cozy,” I admitted, and I turned back to him with a nervous smile. “Do you have people trying to break in a lot?”

“No, but it might have something to do with tha security team living next door,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t really have a place to get away from it all.”

I couldn’t imagine his life, and maybe it was because of mine. I was hidden, and that was that. Everywhere he went, even in his own home, he was exposed. There really was no privacy or comfort, anywhere.

That seemed like such a nightmare.

“Well, anytime you need somewhere, my shop’s always open for you—unless it’s closed, and then you could just hide at my place,” I said, but I wondered if I should’ve. Sure, I felt like he needed something like that, and he was such a nice guy. He didn’t deserve to live in such misery.

But making that offer was just setting us both up . . . .

That was based on the assumption that someone was actually out to get my parents, which they more than likely were. The last report I received, however, things were calm. I was actually safe for now.

So . . . did that mean this was the right thing to do? Allow myself to make such a famous friend?

Niall’s cyan eyes lit up, though, at just the suggestion, and I knew I couldn’t take it back. I had just possibly doomed us both, but I couldn’t find it in me to bring down that excitement.

“That would be incredible,” he murmured, and he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So, uh, I got plenty of food. I don’t know if ye’re hungry, but . . . .”

“I’m starving,” I said, letting out a sigh. “But in this damned corset, it’s a bit hard to eat . . . or breathe.”

Niall’s eyebrows rose. “Well, ye’re more than welcome to change into anything I have.”

So, after leading me back to his bedroom and into his closet at least ten times larger than mine, filled with more shoes than I could ever dream of having, that’s what I did. He left the room to give me privacy, and he said, “Whatever you want,” so I took down a long sleeved blue shirt that said “Skool Sucks,” and put on a pair of black sweats. With the drawstring, I was able to keep them on, but that was about the only way.

I needed socks, but I knew some people were weird about socks, so I just slipped out of his massive closet and found him nervously waiting for me, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip softly.

When he saw me, saw how I had taken my hair down and put it in a much more comfortable ponytail, his smile widened. “Almost perfect.”

My eyebrows rose. “Oh? Almost?”

With a crooked smile, he gestured to his face. “I don’t imagine all that makeup is comfortable.”

“Well, no,” I said, and I fought the urge to bite on my lower lip. Remembering that there was lots of lip stick and lip coloring on there, that wouldn’t be good. “Is there a place I can wash it all off?”

Niall led me to a door not far from the closet, and once inside, he pulled a wash cloth out of the linen closet. He was going beyond just showing me where everything was. He went so far as to turn the hot water on so I had a warm wash cloth to wipe the shit off my face.

It was becoming very clear that this was a mistake, and not because it was a disaster. Not because he was trying to force me to have sex but because he wasn’t. Because this was the exact opposite of a disaster.

Niall was actually perfect, as perfect as a human being could get anyways. He didn’t deserve whatever life I could bring him.

The bathroom was surprisingly subtle. Grey walls with white trim, modern style shower with a rather large toilet and sink, it was simple.

As I was washing the stuff off my face, Niall was watching me. Not in a creepy kind of way, but he had a rather wry grin on his lips.

“What?” I asked, and I found myself laughing. “You can’t say I have something on my face.”

“It’s just so simple,” he said, shaking his head and letting out a rather loud laugh of his own. “We just met earlier today, and this feels normal.”

“Time is manmade.”

Niall’s eyebrows rose. “Another quote ye often haveta tattoo?”

“Nope.”

“Well, it’s accurate,” he said, but his eyes left mine immediately. “So now that ye’re comfortable . . . wanna go lay down, maybe watch a movie? I got tons of ‘em. Harry Potter fan?”

“Surprisingly, no,” I said, and I thought Niall was going to pass out from shock. The look on his face made me laugh, which made it hard to defend myself. “I just couldn’t get into it! Every time I tried, I got bored. I even made myself watch the first half of the first movie, despite wanting to just be anywhere else, and I still didn’t find it at all interesting.”

Niall shook his head, but his eyes were narrow in my direction. “I don’t know if this can continue. Harry Potter has become my obsession.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” I said, giving him a playful smirk as I stepped out of the bathroom and back into his rather large master bedroom. “You can watch them every night. They’ll put me right to sleep.”

Niall actually laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

As we stepped back into the bedroom, I found myself truly looking at it now. Grey walls, the same color as the bathroom, with grey borders. He had black furniture with a soft black rug underneath the bed and covering a lot of the dark wood floors, and hanging just above the bed was the most beautiful chandelier.

I had a small obsession with them. Not because of the song because I didn’t swing from chandeliers. I might break them.

No, I was obsessed simply because they were beautiful. In the morning, when the sun rose, they sparkled like the night sky. As the sun set and the beautiful pink or orange rays came through the window, it lit the room up the same color.

With the large windows near his bed, I imagined he got the same effect, if he was ever able to open the curtains.

Niall pulled open the large doors on his entertainment center, and besides a rather large flat screen resting inside, there was also a PlayStation 4 and a rather large variety of movies.

“Pick whatever ya’d like,” he said, and he disappeared into the closet.

It was literally a variety . . . .

The amount of choices I had left me unable to decide, so Niall got changed into a t-shirt and sweats himself before I even had a few picked out. I pulled them out and laid them out for him to decide from, and while he looked at the three movies laying in front of the TV, I climbed onto his bed and made myself quite comfortable.

He was much faster at choosing than I was, and he put whichever his choice was into the PS4. Turning the TV on as well, he took the controller over to the bed and climbed on there beside me.
“I cannot say I’ve ever actually gotten to do this.”

I looked up at Niall and raised my eyebrows. “What? Relax and watch a movie?”

Seeing those cyan eyes shining as they looked down at me made my heart take flight inside my chest, and I had to swallow just to try and get a grip on myself; it wasn’t working. “Watch a movie with a beautiful woman . . . all they ever wanna do is go out partying or have sex, and this . . . this is nice.”

I laughed and actually scooted a bit closer to him. “Well, you know, I figured you were just too exhausted to handle me in bed. All that touring and shit.”

Niall started laughing quite hard, actually. It was the first time I heard him laugh quite like this, but he was so happy. Those eyes were bright, that smile wide, and he genuinely seemed relaxed.

“I’d be more than happy to test that out.”

“I’m shitting with you. I bet I’m going to be horrid,” I said, and my nose curled.

Niall didn’t have some smartass comment back to that, so instead, he wrapped one arm around my shoulder and nestled into the pillows behind him. “In that case, we’ll test that out another day.”

I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, but with Niall’s arm around me, pulling me close enough that he could use the controller with both hands and still have me smooshed next to him, it was hard to protest. While the idea was absolutely and utterly insane—not to mention lethal—for once, I found myself actually wondering what it would be like to be with someone in that way, specifically Niall.

As the Avengers started, we didn’t say anything. Instead, we stayed cuddled up next to each other and simply enjoyed the company of another human being.

For the time, we were alone. No one was watching him, no one was looking for me . . . we were safe.

I imagined the rest of my life being just like this, and I wanted that life.

But it was a life I could never have.