Clandestine

I remember the first day I got sent to Sunnyside Care Home. I was four years old. I remember because I only just started school and I didn’t have to go in for the rest of the week. I was so happy because I hated school. Mainly because I was so used to unleashing havoc at home. Writing on the walls just wasn’t the same at school. I soon grew out of that behaviour, but my parents never gave me a chance. Having a child wasn’t exactly the best decision for two high-powered career driven people. I’m not even sure they were really in love, but I don’t remember enough about them to know.

The first Monday of being in care I went to school. I went with loads of other kids from care, but most of them have come and gone. The only person besides me to stay was Jack. He’s my best friend now. Nothing can separate us. However, back in the day we used to despise each other. Not for any reason in particular. It’s just because when you’re younger there’s always two teams pitted against each other. The boys and the girls. Once we grew up we realised that genitals had nothing to do with the emotional bonds you make, and we quickly became partners in crime. Jack one rode the lawnmower around the school halls and I set my homework on fire with my friend’s lighter. It set off the alarm and I was suspended for two weeks.

However, us being in trouble never seems to matter. You can’t exactly get angry at the kids who don’t have anyone to guide them. We’ve always managed to get away with the most stupid stuff. Our friends, Alex, Rian and Zack have only been in detention for not doing their homework or talking in class. I guess Jack and I are just too emotionally fucked up to care about school. My best friend, Bonnie, she doesn’t seem to understand why we do this crazy stuff. She doesn’t care though. She thinks it’s hilarious. She doesn’t know we live in care though, and at this point, I’m not too sure I’m ready to tell her. The slamming of books on my desk snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Ah, Brooke. You’ve woken up from your trance at last.” She said. Currently Jack and I were in detention. I sat up straight and looked at her.

“Short attention span. Sorry, teach.” I said, making Jack laugh. Mrs Palmer gave him a stern look which made him shut up. I rolled my eyes.

“Right, Mr Barakat, why are you here today?” She asked.

“Doesn’t it say on my detention slip? I’m in here for defending my religion.” Jack said matter-of-factly.

“Is that so?” She asked. Jack nodded his head.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” He said.

“I only ask because it says here you stood on your desk and screamed that you were the new-born Jesus, then you proceeded to hit another student round the head with a bible.” Mrs Palmer said.

“Okay, I’ll admit that violence isn’t the best answer, but if you don’t let me and my friend go, I’m afraid I can’t guarantee you a spot in heaven.” Jack said pointing at her. She just rolled her eyes and looked at me.

“And you, Brooklyn.” She said using my full name.

“It’s Brooke, and my mate Jesus over here is right. This is completely unfair. I tripped and broke the interactive board.” I said. She gave me a look and I sighed. “Fine. I tripped over the barricade I made with the chairs, but my point still stands. We’re two kids that just got lost along the way.” I said for emotional effect. Jack and I even made sad faces to further prove our point. She just looked at us blankly.

“Susan is on her way.” She said. That’s all it took. Jack and I looked at each other with genuine worry in our eyes. Susan’s the head of Sunnyside, and she’s one scary lady. Usually nobody tells us off besides taking away our privileges, but we still have our fun. Susan will no doubt do something unspeakably awful to us. One time she made me run 20 laps around our garden, and it’s a massive garden. She also made Jack prepare a healthy meal for us all and then explain what was good about it. It was humiliating. Alright, so they’re not particularly inhumane, but they’re unfair and cruel.

“Wait! Don’t bring her here. I swear I’ll be good for about a month!” Jack bargained, but it was to no use.

“I’m sorry. As I said, she’s on her way. Now, I’m going to keep you guys in here until she arrives. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some coffee. Once she left I immediately turned to him.

“Quick, Jack, jump out the window with me.” I said, only semi-joking. Jack just laughed it off nervously.

“Oh god. We’re in too deep, Brooke.” He said. I nodded my head.

“Tell me about it.” I agreed. Usually I’d do anything to be in a room alone with Jack, but not like this. Okay, I may have a teeny tiny crush on him, and I may have done for about 4 years, but I’m sure it’s gonna go away soon. It has to. Besides, he’s my best friend, and it’s not like anything could happen. Sooner or later, Mrs Palmer and Susan came back in the room. It didn’t take them too long to find us hiding in the cupboard. We soon scrambled to our seats and waited for the inevitable punishment. Susan looked at us with pure anger practically radiating her.

“I just don’t know what to do with you two. I would take away your privileges but that never works. I think it’s best that we separate you in school. That means different forms and different classes. At home you will have a bedtime of 8 o’clock for a month. That means lights out and everything.” She said. Jack and I were boiling with rage.

“We don’t have a home.” Jack managed to say. We both got out of our seats and stormed off to the car. My luck today was really shit. When we got outside it was raining and I didn’t even bring a jacket. Jack noticed and shared his umbrella with me. He cuddled me as we were walking to keep me warm. When we got in the car I looked out the window and watch the raindrops race one another on the glass. When we got back, Susan asked us to stay in the car because she needed to say something to us.

“I’m sorry. I know this life hasn’t exactly treated you well, and for that I truly apologise. It must be rough for you. So, I decided to book you guy’s appointments with a psychologist in order to see if you need any medicine or antidepressants…” She started.

“Therapy? You’re giving us therapy now? Unbelievable!” Jack exclaimed.

“It’s not therapy. It’s help, which I’m sure you’ll be grateful for. Now, let’s get inside the house. Apparently it’s spaghetti for dinner.” She said. I groaned and slammed the car door once I got out. This is ridiculous. I hate it. Once we got in I immediately went to have a shower. As soon as the warm water hit my skin I felt a million times better, but I was still feeling absolutely crap. Once I got out I got into my pyjamas and went to Jack and Rian’s room. Alex and Zack were there as well.

“Hey.” Rian greeted. I smiled weakly in response. I sat on Jack’s bed and groaned.

“You know it’s not really our fault we’re this way. It’s everyone else’s. If we’re half our genes and half our environment, we can’t really be blamed for what we do.” I said, trying to reason what happened.

“Yeah, but look at what happened. We have to have frickin’ therapy. I don’t need any of that. They don’t understand us at all.” Jack said. I nodded my head in agreement.

“I know. It’s so unfair. Sometimes I wish my parents would come back and whisk me away, but then I realise how much I hate them for just giving me up for no reason.” I said, holding back any tears that attempted to fall from my eyes.

“I know what you mean. I really wanna see my sister again though. She practically raised me and she always said she’d come back for me. She’s always sent me stuff on birthdays and Christmas but she’s never seen me. I just wanna find her and find out what happened to her.” Alex said.

“What was her name again?” Rian asked.

“Hayley. I miss her like crazy.” Alex said.

“I know you do, man. I miss Olivia. She’s the best little sister a guy could ask for but she was adopted at my last home. I now have no means of finding her. It’s completely and utterly unfair!” Rian said feeling annoyed.

“Well at least you guys all have family to get back. I don’t even know where my mum’s grave is. I never even got to go to her funeral. I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Zack said.

“What about you, Jack?” Alex asked. I felt bad for Jack. He doesn’t exactly like talking about his past. Given the chance he never would. He’s only ever told me.

“Yeah, I’d like to see what happened with my dad.” He lied. His dad was a massive drug addict. His mum was a prostitute. Life was pretty tough for him. His mum once just decided that she’d had enough and walked out on them both. His dad was so angry that he used to beat him up. It wasn’t until a neighbour overheard screaming that the police came. He spent two days in hospital and eventually got sent to care. He was 3 and a half so he remembered every gruesome detail. It was his first memory. I know he doesn’t really want anything to do with his family, but he didn’t want to admit that to everyone yet.

“So why don’t we do that?” Rian asked. We all looked at him in confusion.

“What?” Alex asked.

“Well… we could run away and try and find out about our past. Maybe even find our family.” Rian said.

“Yeah, there’s only a few problems with that, genius…” I started, but he interrupted me.

“I get it, it’ll be tough and we’ll need to make a big plan. But it could work, then we’d find everyone and everything we wanted to. Zack, you’d get to say goodbye to your mum, Alex, you’d meet your sister again, Brooke, maybe you’d be reunited with a loving family, and Jack, you’d find the dad you’ve always wanted to.” Rian said. Jack shifted uncomfortably, but luckily nobody noticed.

“What about the addresses for all these people?” I asked.

“We’ll just get them out of Susan’s office.” Rian said.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” I said sarcastically.

“Well we’d create a diversion to get Susan out of her office.” Rian said, genuinely believing in his idea.

“What about money and stuff?” Alex asked.

“Well, I guess I do have enough. My parents left me with £5000 here, but I spent £2000 of it.” I admitted.

“How rich were your parents exactly?” Zack asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know.” I said. I knew that they were very well off, but that was only because they were hard workers. They spent no time with me whatsoever. So in a way I didn’t care. I just don’t know why they never bothered getting anyone to look after me.

“Well, it’s possible isn’t it? We could leave tonight.” Alex said.

“Tonight? That seems a little soon.” Jack said.

“I think so too. I mean, it’s not that we don’t want to go, but it’s a bit unfeasible.” I said.

“But, if we use your money and we manage to get our files, we could pack and leave at midnight.” Zack said. Somehow, those three managed to convince us it was a good idea.

“One question though, how are we gonna distract Susan so we can get the files?” I asked.

“Damn it. There’s always a flaw in my plans.” Rian mumbled, making us giggle a bit.

“Well, maybe if something broke. I would suggest a fight but they’d have to put that in our files which would be gone. Maybe if one of us breaks the TV and then runs for it. It’d make a loud enough noise and nobody would know who it was until after we’d left.” Zack suggested.

“Well when are we gonna do that? Someone’s always watching that thing.” Jack asked.

“Dinner time. Nobody watches it then. Everyone’s getting their food. They’d be too busy to notice.” Alex suggested.

“Okay then, but who’s gonna do that, and who’s gonna get the files?” I asked.

“I’ll break the TV. That damn thing’s always annoying me.” Zack said. We all giggled.

“Okay then, two of us can be on guard while one of us gets the files.” Jack said.

“Yeah. Rian should get the files because it was his idea. Alex and Jack will be on guard, and I’ll be getting some spaghetti because right now I’m starving.” I said. They all laughed, but they agreed. We all looked at each other and laughed again.

“This is insane.” Alex commented.

“I know.” Rian said.

“So, just to go over the plan one more time, Zack breaks the TV and runs away causing a big commotion during dinner, meanwhile Jack and Alex are on the lookout while Rian gets our files, then I eat my food and pretend I don’t know what’s going on. Then we leave at midnight.” I said, trying to clear things up. They all seemed pretty content with the plan.

“How are we gonna leave this stupid house though?” Jack asked.

“Well we can’t go through the door, so everyone just needs to make sure they’re in my room. My window opens above the garage roof. We can jump down from there and then get the bus to the train station.” I offered. Everyone seemed content with the plan.

“Okay then. We’re gonna do this.” Zack said getting pumped up.

“I know. Okay, I’m gonna go and pack.” I said. I hopped off the bed and went into my room and got out my suitcase. We keep suitcases in our room in case we go on school trips or we need to get fostered. Jack and I haven’t been fostered in years. Nobody wants us anymore. Not that I’m surprised. We don’t exactly have the best record, and this isn’t going to help matters. I don’t care though. I hate being fostered. Once one of my foster parents got angry at me for stealing biscuits out of the biscuit tin and he fed me a spoon of hot sauce. I was only about 6 at the time. I hated it. My phone buzzed and I checked my phone.

Hey. How did detention go? – Bonnie

Awful. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. I won’t be in though. I’ve got doctor’s appointments all day. – Brooke

That sucks. Are you okay? – Bonnie

Yeah, I’m fine. Just check ups and stuff. At least I won’t have to sit through any more stupid lectures with Mrs Snooty Pants. :P – Brooke.

About an hour later, I heard a knock on my door and quickly hid the suitcase, I then went to open the door. Thankfully it was just Jack.

“Hey. Dinner’s ready. It’s almost time. You ready?” He asked. I smiled at him and nodded my head.

“I think so.” I said. He gave me a quick hug in excitement and we went downstairs assuming our positions. I can’t wait to leave this place.