Wishful Thinking

"Okay, I'll be there." Alex hung up on an intoxicated Jack again, after the younger of the two made his usual midnight call. Alex knew the routine for this- get off the couch, put on shoes, pick Jack up in front of a local bar, bring his drunken ass to his place and stay with him to make sure he's safe.

Why does he know the routine by heart? Well, this isn't really the first time it happened. Actually, it's quite the opposite. It happens way too much.

Jack was never a heavy drinker. Sure, he drank beer with the guys, but actually getting so many shots and drinking up that many glasses and bottles that he can't tell the difference between his foot and his arm, then you know it's a problem.

Alex pulled on black boots and a leather jacket over his light gray hoodie, seeing as he'll die from the cold without it since it's December, and then got out the door, locking it after leaving, to pick up the guitarist.

The bar Jack was at currently was around 5 minutes away from Jack's apartment and it wasn't that far away from Alex's either, so he decided to take a walk instead of showing up in a car like he normally would. As he felt the cold pinching his cheeks, Alex stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket to protect them. Damn, it was colder than usual.

It didn't take him much to arrive at his destination. He went inside the bar, looking for a familiar mop of spiked two-toned hair. He stopped Jack sitting by a table, staring at a half full whiskey glass, many empty ones surrounding his arm which laid the table.

Alex took his steps towards him, and when he got to Jack, he poked him in his forearm, trying to get his attention. Jack immediatly knew who it is.

Instead of turning his head towards the older male, Jack decided to down the rest of the cheap drink as soon as possible, his drunk mind knowing that Alex won't let him do it, as usually. And he was right. Alex stole the glass from Jack's grasp and placed his harshly on the table, using his other arm to get Jack off the chair he was seated on.

"Oh Jacky, what am I gonna do with you?" Alex whispered as he pulled Jack towards the bar exit. "If you continue with this without an explanation, I'll have to move in with you to take care of you."

The lanky man just laid his head against Alex's shoulder and slurred in response. "Take me home, 'Lex. Please..."

Alex looked at his best friend of more than 11 years. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Oh, if only he knew.

---

"Rise and sunshine, sleepy head." Alex gently shook the passed-out Jack on his king sized bed. "Do you need pain killers, or are you fucking used to this shit?"

"Good morning to you too, Alex." Jack mumbled and rubbed his eyes.

"I have to talk to you."

Jack was absolutely dreading that moment. He knew what is the talk going to be about.

"Yeah?" He got up and tried to prepare himself for the questions, but it was impossible with such an irritating headache. As if Alex sensed it, he got up and brought him pain killers with a glass of water to calm him down, then sat on a bean bag which was next to the bed.

"Why, Jack?"

"No reason." He said as he downed the glass of water with the pills in one gulp. Well, he had practice.

"Jack, come on! Tour is starting in two weeks! Two fucking weeks! If you keep doing this, for some special and secret reason you keep inside your head, you won't be able to play during the shows!

"It's not just the shows, Jack. This isn't you, and most importantly, this isn't healthy! You are becoming an alcoholic! I don't know what kind of life you want to lead, but I'd do something about this if I was you."

Alex has Jack lost in thought for a moment. But he couldn't just stop, for the sake of his...feelings.

Maybe he should tell the truth? What if he can get something out of it? Maybe the spark that Alex gets in his eyes when he sees his best friend isn't just a friendly one? Well, that spark isn't even a spark for the past month, since Jack started his forget-feelings-with-alcohol operation. It turned into complete sadness mixed with a lot of worry.

"I'd rather drown in liquor than in heartache." Jack simply said, knowing he's risking something. Not just something, he's risking his friendship with Alex and the future of the band.

"What do you mean, Jack-o?" Alex whispered, bringing up the childhood nickname he had for the 24-year old since middle school.

"You know alcohol makes you forget things, blurres out the bad thoughts and failed daydreams and makes you...happy? That's what I want for a while..." Jack admited, preparing for the great truth.

Alex's face experession read that he was quite confused. "What is there that you want to forget?" Jack frowned at the thought of it. I want to forget the fact that I'll never call you mine. But he didn't know should he say that. "Why do you want to stay drunk? Why is it becoming a habit?"

Jack understood he is falling in a deep hole with every word he said. "I want to forget my feelings for someone way too close to me. I don't want to risk anything." Well, too late to think about that now.

"You...like someone?" Alex whispered. "Can I know who?"

"It's you, Alex! It's always been you, for fuck's sake. I'm in pathethic love with you, and the reason why I call it pathethic is because I have to get drunk to get my mind off it, that I'll never be able to be yours! But I want it so fucking bad, I can't handle it sober-"

"Jack, Jack, calm down." Alex placed his hand reassuringly on Jack's shoulder. "Y-you are in love with me?"

"I'm fucking in love with you, 'Lex." They both widened their eyes in realisation that, oh boy, Jack spilled everything out and Alex knows.

"Look, I'm really sorry, okay? I know you don't feel the same way, just...leave-" Alex cut him off by placing his hand over Jack's trembling lips.

"Who said I don't feel the same way?" He said and soon, he replaced his hand over Jack's mouth with his own lips.

All it took was an un-knowing amound of the devilish mixture and some guts for the truth to be out. After they broke the kiss, all Jack could do was smile and grab Alex by the waist, dragging him into bed to lay next to each other.

"Promise me you won't do shit like this again. Oh, and you know what?"

"I promise, and what?"

"I am fucking in love with you too, Jack."