Cigarette Daydreams

Allie’s POV

“What do you mean, ‘no brain activity’?” I yelled at this poor nurse, who probably knew as much about Erin right now as I did.

“Erin has been unresponsive for the last two weeks and her parents are considering taking her off life support since her brain hasn’t had any activity.” The nurse grabbed my shoulder giving me a very sympathetic look. I sighed knowing that my best friend was even lucky to be alive; I found her unconscious with vomit all over herself.

I took a big breath to steady myself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Sure she partied, hell its college, we all did—but she wasn’t supposed to overdose. She always knew her limit; Erin was queen for dancing on that very fine line. “Do you know their decision?” I didn’t want to ask Erin’s parents seeing as they were probably just as emotional as I was.

“I don’t sweetie, but you are more than welcome to go into the room to see her.”

I blinked at the nurse while trying to smile at her. I’ve been avoiding her hospital room. I didn’t want to see her so helpless, Erin wouldn’t want me to see her as anything but the bad ass bitch she wanted to be. However, knowing that her parents could be taking her off life support soon really wakes a friend up. I walked into her private room, quietly shutting the door behind me—like it would wake her up.

Erin looked terrible, wires and tubes everywhere, her face even paler than usual, and she probably lost 10 pounds already. I smirked when I looked at all the drugs they’ve been pumping into her body knowing that she would freak out if she was awake or responsive.

“Hey Erin,” I brushed a piece of her long hair out of her eyes. “You look like shit,” I frowned wishing she would wake up and punch me for being a bitch. “You gotta fucking wake-up, I know you don’t want to be here and that times are tough but do it for me,” I paused letting the small cry out. The first time I’ve cried in over two weeks. “Please,” I begged her lifeless body, “if not for me do it for your family!” Crying knowing her little brother wouldn’t be able to recover from something like this.

I continued to sit there and cry next to Erin’s unconscious body for a few more hours until another nurse knocked at the door telling me visiting hour was up. Before I could stand up my phone starting ringing and I cussed myself out mentally, knowing the nurse would chastise me for having my phone on.

Before I could even apologize the nurse ran over to Erin’s activity map as it now started to move. I looked at the nurse who looked bewildered.

“What was that?” I asked confused.

“She had a glimpse of brain movement,” the nurse started hitting a bunch of buttons trying to user me out of the room.

“What does that mean?” I asked on the verge of tears.

”There’s hope for her after all.”



I watch my best friend with a small smile on my face. Ever since the doctors realized that music sent her brain into a frenzy, Erin had been doing so much better. Currently they were playing her favorite playlist on Spodify and I recognized in vaguely as the songs she played while she was in the shower. I could she her eyelids twitch with satisfaction—god I wished she would wake up already.

“Morning deary,” Erin’s mom walked in holding a steaming cup of coffee for me taking in my appearance. I haven’t been able to sleep in our apartment for days and my boyfriend is starting to worry about me, the last thing Momma T needed was to worry about me.

“I’m just about to go take a shower and get some rest,” I smiled at her and she visibly relaxed.

“I’m so glad Erin has a friend like you,” Momma T’s eyes started to water knowing that there is a possibility her daughter wouldn’t wake up. There was progress but not enough to satisfy her insurance company. We were both waiting for the news that Momma T’s insurance would stop paying for the machines that were keeping her baby girl alive.

I smiled and grabbed Momma T’s hand, “everything is going to be a-okay. She’s a fighter.” Momma T gave me a small smile and I knew that she was losing hope. I took my coffee and my small overnight bag and left the room quietly. Walking down the sickening white walls trying to come up with a plan to get my best friend back.

A few minutes later I walked in the coffee shop on campus taking in its grimy feeling and smiled for the first time in a long time. I walked up to the counter immediately spotting Allen. He smiled as I approached the old wood counter and had a large coffee waiting for me.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m hanging in there,” I answered honestly.

“Is there anything I could do to help?” He wanted his favorite customer back as well. Erin and Allen had been on dates before but nothing really developed due to Erin’s dying need for narcotics and Allen’s dying need to fix everybody.

“I don’t think so Allen, but thanks for offering.”

“I heard that it was music that was helping, all the doctors that come in here are so shocked that she is even responding to this type of treatment.” He chuckled sadly knowing Erin’s obsession with music.

“They are?”

Allen’s eyes went dark realizing what he said could have upset me, “don’t listen to them. Erin will make it through while making those poor nurses blast rock rough the room speakers.

I smiled sadly not being able to tell Allen that there hasn’t been enough progress with music therapy.

“I have a great idea!” He practically shouted so happy that he might be able to help, “what if we bring Erin to like a music festival or a concert.”

I wanted to laugh at his outrageous idea, like Momma T would let me drag her daughter’s body out of the hospital and into a mosh pit. “Allen that idea is ridiculous.”

“Think about it Allie, When have you ever seen Erin more alive and herself than watching live music?”

I could feel myself getting mad, “Allen she cant even fucking move her hands, what would make you think that we could get her damn body in a venue?!” I shouted at the poor guy who blushed a crimson shade realizing his idea wouldn’t work out.

“You’re right that is a stupid idea,” he signed before looking over at a poster hanging up on one of the brick walls. “What if we get an artist to come to her?”

I looked at him like he grew two heads, “I don’t think we could afford that Allen.”

“No, no,” he paused smiling knowing this plan would work. “There’s this guy that comes in everyday and he is in some band—I can’t remember the name but I’m sure he would go in for a few minutes to sing.”

“Allen,” I trailed off not knowing how well this would go over with the hospital staff.

“I’m good friends with one of their roadies and they always come in here! I’m sure they would do me a favor. Allie, I at least have to ask.” He pleaded with me and I reluctantly nodded knowing I wasn’t going to win this battle.

“Sure, I’ll talk to the doctors about it.” I lowered my head and whispered, “but I only think she has a few weeks left.” A tear slipped out and Allen nodded his head.

“This will work,” he nodded. “I know it will.”