Inhale

Although a barbaric idea, the annual Hunger Games had a very simple format. To show that we were forever under the power of the Capitol, from each of the Twelve Districts a sacrifice would be made. Although they packaged it a little better than that. We had two ‘tributes’ between the ages of twelve and eighteen who would enter an engineered environment where everything from the weather to the wildlife could be controlled and they would fight the others until there was only one left.

This person would become a Victor, rich, famous, wanted and lusted after.

Every year twenty three children had to die to make the point that we were powerless. It kept the Districts quiet, it kept them stuck in their ways and life style. This year had been the seventy-fourth edition of the monstrous games and this year two Victors had been crowned. It was completely unheard of.

There had been issues along the way of course, some games lasted too long and there had to be some large finale to trigger those final deaths. One year a boy went so mad he literally ate the corpses of those he had killed. Sometimes there were accidents, a flood set off that game makers lost control of, drowning the majority of the tributes within an hour.

Boring games were never good, there had to be the right mix of death, desperation and betrayal. I suppose five years ago I had given them that. But I had stuck to the rules.

The desperate love struck teenagers from Twelve had not. And they would pay for it.

They were going to start something no-one could control.

I hadn’t emerged from my home until the early hours of the third day. That was becoming routine, the usual. I needed the first two days, those long forty eight hours to comprehend everything, to breathe now my every move wasn't being scrutinized. I felt little better but I’d seen no real reason to venture outside until now.

The pool was close to empty thanks to the retreating tide, although the wind danced over the top of the water, leaving swirls and shapes that lingered only a few seconds. I heard the gentle click of his door some way behind me, the night being so quiet, but I didn’t move. I just continued watching those patterns, mimicking them with bare feet. He stifled a yawn snd I felt that usual stab of envy at his ease. “Okay?" He swung himself beside me, glancing quickly. I ignored it, his own legs were bare, and his toes came much closer to the water than mine did.

“What’s wrong?”

My fingers connect, interlocking. I squeezed tight until it hurt before I answered. “Luine just called me...” I released my hands, one lifting to brush hair from my face, “Well, earlier on...she said...” I was surprised at the lump that seemed to be appearing in my throat, “Crane’s dead. Or at least it seems like it.” My voice faded out and I waited for his own to lift; to rise but for once he was as silent as me. “That will be because they both lived won’t it?” I drag my body around, ignoring the way splinters in the wood caught on my thighs, “Because they...” I struggle for the words, “They showed them up, showed Snow up. They tricked the system, didn’t they?”

Even as I rambled he remained quiet, lips gently pursed. I suddenly realised my palms were sweaty and wiped them on my shorts, “So, if Crane died for it. I mean he let it happen...and for now everyone loves them, but can it...can they?” He lifted up tanned hands to rub over his eyes and irritation ignited in my stomach. “Finnick!” I’d barely lifted my voice but the urgency in it made him finally respond.

“They’re alive for now. They can’t risk anything public, not with how much they adore her...them.”

“That’s if people brought it.” I was relishing the chance for a real conversation, away from the fear or being overheard by someone dangerous. “If, being the prime word.” He mused, again smothering a yawn, “But the people in the Capitol did, and I know a lot of them here...” I scoffed a tiny bit, for anyone to fall for their ‘love story’ seemed ridiculous. She had sensed the advantage of him and used it and used it well.

Instead of one victor this year the Hunger Games had crowned two.

That was the fact Seneca Crane had died for. That had to be the fact they eventually would suffer for. This would not be let go, she, the hard looking girl from the poorest district, had made fools of them threatening to kill herself like that. They had presumed two victors were better than none.

I was sure they would regret that immensely.

“Do you know how they killed him?” My eyes dragged back to him again, the silence had stretched long enough for me to assume the conversation as over, “Crane.” He continued, although I could tell he didn’t want an answer. “From what I can gather, it was just in Snow’s mansion. Ironic really,” The little smirk that graced his lips made the lump in my throat appear again, bigger this time, so large I swore I could choke on it. “They made him eat those berries. Whatever they were,” He waved them away as if the words were wisps of cloud, “The same ones he stopped those Katniss and Peeta eating.”

I swallowed several times before I felt I could reply, “And how do you know that?”

“Someone thought it would interest me.”

“I’m sure they did.” The bitterness dripping through my words was evident but he gave no signs of being bothered by it. Instead he waited until I had stood, letting his fingers wrap around my wrist. “I would have told you earlier. I just knew you would want to be left alone and to be honest...” His eyes scanned over my face, “I never imagined you would care enough to be upset about him.”

“I’m not upset.” I lied weakly. I was upset and I didn’t need the scorn in his voice to realise that was something wrong with that. “Not really. I’m just...” My body seemed to deflate, “I don’t know Finnick. I just...”

This time the look he gave me hurt, it made me feel like I could shrink inside myself tenfold. “I didn’t ask you to meet me for you to be cruel.”

“Obviously not.” He pushed himself up with that, “And I’m not.” His tongue darted over his top lip in that way that sent women in the Capitol to their knees. Sometimes it was difficult to pretend it didn’t have a similar effect on me, but this occasion wasn’t one of them. I was angry at him, which was very odd in itself, angry that he could dismiss my feelings so easily and make me feel like I didn’t deserve them.

He had a point, that was clear. I knew he had a point about Crane. I was just unsure how I was supposed to act after someone I had known for several years had been murdered for an idea I had helped put in his head. “Stop looking like that.” I stopped myself snapping back and just shrugged, watching as he playfully rolled his eyes and letting him tug me into a soft hug, moulding against his body. “I don’t know what will happen with any of it. But there is no point worrying now. It’s done...”

“It’s never done.” I murmured pitifully and he drew back, examining me in that way that made me hold my breath. “For now it is. And you should get some sleep; I can’t imagine you’ve had a lot since we’ve been back.”

“You look tired too.” His smile was more genuine, and it was without the flash of white teeth I was used to. “I am.” He let me go completely, left hand dragging over my shoulder and collar bone as he moved a curl out of the way. He sighed a little, “We’re due to see the families tomorrow. Up at the Justice Hall.”

My stomach tightened and I could feel the acid lifting in my throat. “Already?” He nodded sympathetically but it didn’t loosen the sense of dread. It was almost worse, in a way, then actually watching the child die. Having to meet their grieving family, try and express your sorrow, how bad you felt, how hard you had tried. I never felt like I tried hard enough, I had always had a difficult time just speaking once we were in that situation. If I was plagued by nightmares and memories how was I supposed to help them go through the same thing?

I was too weak to pull myself out of my own horrors.

I let Finnick drag me home gently, his hand rougher than my own. I bid him goodnight although it was far closer to dawn than dusk and he left with another closed mouth smile.