Wildest Dreams

I never in a million years expected to be standing in the place that I am right now- a shady strip club on the not-so-nice side of town where the class is nonexistent and the smell of cigarette smoke is like a fog that envelopes you the moment you walk in the door.

I breathe through my nose as I scan the crowd looking for one person in particular. When my private investigator, Samuel Brookes, told me where I could find Mariah Haner, I thought he had found someone with the same name. A strip club? That couldn't be where she is working. I also couldn't fathom the idea that for the last three years she had still been living in Huntington. When she fell off the map, we all assumed she'd run off to somewhere far away where she wouldn't have to see our faces, but lo and behold, this is where she is working.

I pull the aviator sunglasses from my face and tuck them into the neckline of my shirt as my eyes shift from one face to the next. I'm getting impatient. I walk through the club, not bothering to excuse myself when I bump into a stranger. My mind is far too consumed to worry about their spilled drinks or dropped cigarettes.

A few moments later it's almost as if the fog has lifted and my eyes land on a small brunette with lips the color of the finest red wine. Her hair is spiral curled down her back and when she tips her head back with her hands gripping the stripper pole, her locks touch the red panties she's wearing.

An emotion I have not felt in quite some time blossoms across my chest and it's all I can do to keep from jumping up on the stage and dragging her down like she's still the fourteen year old girl I grew up with. She moves her body to the beat of the song and I stand there with my arms crossed over my chest as I take in everything I have discovered in the last few minutes. She has no idea I'm standing here watching her, the woman I once loved more than life itself, clad in barely nothing onstage showing her body for what? Dollar bills?

The moment she reaches to unclasp her bra is the second the rage in my chest rears it's ugly head. I shove past the few people in front of me, ripping my leather jacket off as I go and jump onto the stage before any of the security has a chance to do anything. Mariah's eyes go wide but I pay her no mind as I throw the jacket around her and lift her into my arms with ease. The crowd begins to shout and 'boo' at me as I step down from the stage. The sound of their outrage follows us the entire way out.

"Matt!" she yells out as she slaps me on the back and struggles to get down. I head for the exit of the club and once we are outside I set her down on her own two feet. "What the fuck are you doing here?" she shouts at me as she slips her arms into my jacket and crosses her arms over her chest and glares.

"I should be asking you that very same question. And since when do you say 'fuck?'"

"Who the hell do you think you are, Matt? I haven't seen you in what, almost three years? Now you think you can just come into my work and embarrass me that way?"

"Oh, I'm the one embarrassing you? You're taking your fucking clothes off for a few singles each night. I think you're doing a pretty good job of that all on your own. You're lucky it's me that found you first and not Brian. Do you have any idea how disappointed and outraged he would be?"

"I don't give a shit about Brian and his feelings. I'm doing what I have to do to support myself."

"Yourself?" I ask as I raise an eyebrow at her but her face only hardens while her lips form a tight line. "Mariah?"

"What do you want me to say? Huh? What do you want me to tell you?"

"You know exactly what I want to know. Where you've been for the past three years and how you ended up here in this shithole. Among many other things."

"None of that is really any of your business."

"You don't think so? You don't think I have a right to know?" I take a step towards her and she takes two steps back. Her movements are precise and I'm surprised she doesn't lose her balance in her platform heels on the uneven pavement. "Where's my son, Mariah?"

Even with all of the makeup caked on her face, I can see the blood rush away from her cheeks. Her eyebrows scrunch and her mouth falls open as if she is going to say something but it quickly closes in silence.

"You didn't want him." her voice is barely a whisper once she figures out how to form a sentence once more.

"Bullshit!" I say as I throw my hands up in the air. "You didn't allow me to have a chance with him and you know it! You took him away from all of us."

"What was I suppose to do, Matt? Raise him around you and let you people ruin him before he even had a chance?"

Her voice is angry and she begins to take steps towards me as she points a finger at my chest. It seems I've struck a nerve in her.

"So having a whore for a mother and no family to speak of is going to do him so much better? Not having a father or uncles who want to know him more than anything is going to turn him into an award winning citizen won't it? How could you do that to him? To me? What about Brian?"

"What about Brian? He was always going to take your side! I was his sister and he still chose you over me!"

"He didn't choose anyone! He wanted his family together and you wouldn't allow it."

Mariah looks down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at me, the expression on her face has gone from rage to almost upset. As if all of the memories of our lives together have suddenly surfaced in her mind.

"You asked me to marry you, Matt. But on the day of our wedding, where did I find you?" her voice is eerily calm.

"We're going to go back to that now?"

"Where were you, Matt!?" she starts shoving me, backing me up across the parking lot, her small hands delivering a surprising amount of force to my shoulders.

"Mariah. Stop." I take her hands in mine and hold them down at her sides but she continues to struggle.

"If you want to know why you don't have a relationship with my son, remember that on the day we were suppose to be getting married, when I was pregnant with your son, you were busy fucking Val in the parking lot of the church!" she screams in my face as she rips herself away from me.

Mariah teeters on her heels as she runs her hands over her face and through her hair. She crouches down and wraps her arms around her knees before resting her head on her forearms.

"My life is not perfect." she says and I walk over and crouch down in front of her. "But I do what I have to do and that's the end of it." she looks up at me, her eyes watery.

"Come home." I stand up and hold a hand out for her. She stands back up straight and for a moment I think she's going to comply, but all she does is drop my coat from her arms so she's standing once more in just her bra and panties. I resist the urge to carry her to the car and shove her inside where no one can see her.

"That's not home anymore." she whispers as she turns on her heel and heads back into the strip club without another word.