Wildest Dreams

A few hours later, Cash still preoccupied with his new friends that consist of Brian and Zack, he no longer finds me that cool. When I attempted to take him inside for lunch he cried until I handed him back to 'Bri' and I know that warmed my brother's heart just a little.

I step down off the last step into the basement and hear the sound of weights clanging against each other. I come around the corner to see Matt doing some sort of arm exercise on a machine that looks way too complicated for me. Matt's arms are slick with sweat from what I can see in his Iron Maiden cut off shirt. He is facing the opposite direction with his back to me, but the whole wall in front of him is lined with mirrors so he sees me as soon as I enter the workout room.

"Hey." I whisper out as he lowers the weights to the floor slowly. I clasp my fingers together in front of me out of nervousness, my eyes not quite meeting his.

"Hey." He stares at me unwavering in the mirror and it almost makes me uncomfortable.

"How are you feeling today?" I ask after a few seconds in awkward silence.

"Like shit. Kinda thought working out might help."

"Yeah, you were pretty drunk last night. You had me worried."

"Why?" He turns on his weight machine so he can face me.

"I-I don't know. I don't know what you're into these days." I look down at the floor and bite my lip, almost regretting my response.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Matt asks as he scrunches his eyebrows and stands from the weight machine. I instinctively take a step backwards as he takes a step towards me, more out of habit than anything. "What's that about?" He motions towards the space between us. I look up from the floor and shrug.

"Sorry. I didn't notice."

"What do you mean, 'what I'm into these days?'"

"Come on, Matt. Don't make me say it." He takes another step forward.

"Please do. I'd love to know what you really think of me."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Then what did you mean!?"

"Please don't yell at me."

"Tell me."

"You know you've struggled with other things in the past. You don't need me to tell you that. I just didn't know if things had gotten bad again."

"I'm not hooked on pain medication again if that's what you're insinuating." I raise an eyebrow at him and cross my arms over my chest. "And I haven't used coke since you left."

"Good. I'd hate to find anything like that laying around where a toddler could get into it."

"Did you just come down here to lecture me about the past, Ri, because I really don't have time for it today." He turns to walk away from me but I take a few steps forward and grab his arm.

"No. That's not why I came down here." His hazel eyes scan over my face, lingering just a few extra seconds on my lips before boring deep into my own brown ones. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Taking Cash away from you. All of you. Being so selfish. Things didn't have to be this way and I'm realizing that now." Matt reaches up to press a hand to my cheek and I place my own hand over his. My eyes close at the feel of his skin against mine and it's like I've been aching for his touch without even knowing it.

"I have missed you so much." He whispers out as he envelopes me in his arms. I bury my face in his chest and breathe in his scent. We stand like that for a few minutes, neither of us wanting to let go of the other. In those few moments I forgot all the reasons I hated him. I forgot all the reasons I wanted to hurt him and get him back for the pain he caused me.

"I want to make this right." I tell him while looking up into his face.

"I hurt you, Mariah. It's my place to do right by you this time."

"We both hurt each other and we have a lot of lost time to make up for. You have a son to get to know and I want you to be in his life. I can't promise that I'm always going to be a charm to be around and this doesn't mean I've forgotten our past. It just means I want to see you be his father."

"That's enough for me."

"Though, Brian is giving us a run for our money. By the end of the week Cash won't want anything to do with either of us. Just Brian." A smile pulls at the corners of my lips as I pull away from Matt's embrace.

"Have you given the whole living here thing anymore thought?"

"I haven't had a chance, but I'm not so sure it's a good idea. You and I living under the same roof? I don't want Cash to go through anymore arguments. I don't want him to see that stuff and you know there's no way we won't fight."

"I don't want to fight with you. This is your home, too. We were going to raise kids here together, remember?"

The look on Matt's face could have broken my heart. It's as if he's lost and just needs help finding the right way home.

"Don't do that to me." I whisper out like I've had the wind knocked out of me.

"It's true."

"Trust me, I haven't forgotten. I'm reminded by everything I touch, every room, this whole damn house." I motion with my arms at the room we are standing in.

Matt comes over to me once more and presses both hands to my cheeks.

"I'm never going to give up on us." He presses his lips to my forehead and heads up the stairs and away from me. I'm left standing there not sure what to say or do.