Wildest Dreams
Stars in your Eyes
"So you're just living with him for now?" My best friend, Samantha, asks as she takes a sip of her raspberry iced tea while I try to cool the steaming hot chicken tenders our waitress just set in front of Cash while he tries to snatch them out of my hands.
I met Samantha when I first started working at the club. She was a bartender and I was a waitress. Unlike me, Samantha never lowered herself to the level of a stripper. She worked as a bartender for about six months to support herself and her daughter, Amelia, before she took a job as a secretary at a dentists office.
Samantha was much like me at the time. Recently separated from her then infant daughter's father, Carter, and not entirely sure where to go from there.
"For now." I look up at her and catch her rolling her eyes. "Cash, please let mommy get these cooled off before you try putting one in your mouth." He giggles and goes back to playing with his action figure. "What's the eye roll for?" I ask the blonde sitting across from me.
"You say 'for now' like you plan on moving out."
"I do, actually."
"Yeah right, Mariah."
"Matt and I are not together. There's no need for us to be living under the same roof."
"Other than you having a child together."
"People co-parent every day without living under the same roof. You and Carter manage it just fine." A laugh escapes her lips.
"I don't have stars in my eyes when I talk to you about Carter, so don't even try to compare our situations." She stuffs a bite of pasta in her mouth as she continues to talk. "This is the first time I'm hearing about said baby daddy, and there's a reason why you never mentioned him before."
"No reason other than he broke my heart."
"Hearts can be mended. I think you might be in denial." Her tone is teasing and I know she would never say anything to hurt me, but now isn't the time for her to be so honest.
"Just drop it. Please." Samantha rolls her eyes once more before looking back down at her chicken Alfredo.
"Whatever you want."
"Where's Amelia?" Samantha's two and a half year old twin is rarely missing from her side.
"Carter and Rachel decided to take her down to the boardwalk." She jokingly gags at the mention of her ex's overly perfect girlfriend. Carter likes to pretend everything she touches turns to gold while making Samantha out to be the devil.
"Trying to be America's number one dad or something?"
"Something like that. I appreciate him putting in so much effort, don't get me wrong. I could have a much worse father for my daughter, but sometimes I feel like they're trying to be this perfect family with MY kid. Playing house and what not." She brushes the hair out of her face and let's out a sigh. "I think I'm just being dumb."
"You're not being dumb." I turn to look at my brunette child who is currently making sounds like his action figure is flying through the air, and a dull ache makes itself known in the side of my chest. The thought of Matt dating some other woman and that woman playing house with my son makes me feel sick. Another woman playing mommy to the child I've raised is an awful thought and I'm not sure how Samantha does it.
Samantha looks down at her watch and let's put another sigh.
"Speaking of Carter, I have to meet him to pick Amelia up in fifteen minutes. You want to come with? We could take the kids to get ice cream after."
"Love to. Let's just grab the waitress so we can pay and then we can head out." I tell her as I dig through my purse for my wallet.
"Okay. I'll text Carter and tell him to meet us at the ice cream shop around the corner.
As we sit outside the ice cream shop, Cash licking away at his vanilla ice cream cone, his legs swinging back and forth happily on the bench, I see Carter and a woman I've met maybe once.
"There they are." Sam says in a not-so-excited voice as she stands and heads over towards them where Amelia starts calling out for 'mommy.'
"Hi, sugar!" Sam greets as she scoops up her blonde child as she starts rambling on about their day. I look down at my son and ruffle my hand through his hair as he looks up at me and smiles. I wish more than anything that he would talk to me the way Amelia talks to Samantha.
"I'll pick her up Friday night, then?" I hear Carter say while Sam balances an overly excited Amelia on her hip.
"Sure. What time?"
"Well, we will be headed to my parents house for dinner around 6." Rachel speaks up.
"And you want to take Amelia with you?"
"If that's okay." There's silence from my best friend before she nods.
"It's fine. So you're picking her up around 5 then?"
"That's fine with me." Carter stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans in to kiss his daughter on the cheek.
"I love you, sweet peach." Carter tells her before taking Rachel's hand and heading back the way they came. My stomach turns at the thought of having to go through a similar awkwardness with Matt. Having to pass Cash back and forth while balancing our own relationships sounds awful. Suddenly, the idea of living on my own with Cash doesn't sound so ideal.
I pull my phone out of my purse and pull up the text feed between Matt and I.
'We need to talk about our living situation soon.' I bite my bottom lip as Samantha makes her way over. She sets the little girl down and Amelia runs over to Cash and I where her cup of strawberry ice cream is waiting for her.
"Thank you so much, Ri Ri." She tells me as I hand her her spoon.
"You are so welcome."
"See the nightmare I have to deal with?" Sam whispers as she sits down beside me on the bench. "It's awkward every single time. It never gets better. I'm just glad Amelia has no idea." I look back over at the kids who are now talking between each other and giggling. They've known each other most of their lives and I'm glad Cash has a friend. "She's too perfect. Too put together. Too nice. Too smiley. It drives me crazy!"
"Why does life have to be so difficult? There's no winning." I tell her as I run my fingers through my hair. At that moment my phone begins to vibrate and I look down and see an incoming text from Matt. I take a deep breath before clicking the open button.
'I was thinking the same thing. Tonight? I'll be here when you get home.'
'We will be home soon.'
I close my phone and look up to see Sam staring at me.
"There's those stars in your eyes again." She mumbles out as she judges me with her shoulder.
"Stop." I giggle out as I stuff my phone back in my purse.
I met Samantha when I first started working at the club. She was a bartender and I was a waitress. Unlike me, Samantha never lowered herself to the level of a stripper. She worked as a bartender for about six months to support herself and her daughter, Amelia, before she took a job as a secretary at a dentists office.
Samantha was much like me at the time. Recently separated from her then infant daughter's father, Carter, and not entirely sure where to go from there.
"For now." I look up at her and catch her rolling her eyes. "Cash, please let mommy get these cooled off before you try putting one in your mouth." He giggles and goes back to playing with his action figure. "What's the eye roll for?" I ask the blonde sitting across from me.
"You say 'for now' like you plan on moving out."
"I do, actually."
"Yeah right, Mariah."
"Matt and I are not together. There's no need for us to be living under the same roof."
"Other than you having a child together."
"People co-parent every day without living under the same roof. You and Carter manage it just fine." A laugh escapes her lips.
"I don't have stars in my eyes when I talk to you about Carter, so don't even try to compare our situations." She stuffs a bite of pasta in her mouth as she continues to talk. "This is the first time I'm hearing about said baby daddy, and there's a reason why you never mentioned him before."
"No reason other than he broke my heart."
"Hearts can be mended. I think you might be in denial." Her tone is teasing and I know she would never say anything to hurt me, but now isn't the time for her to be so honest.
"Just drop it. Please." Samantha rolls her eyes once more before looking back down at her chicken Alfredo.
"Whatever you want."
"Where's Amelia?" Samantha's two and a half year old twin is rarely missing from her side.
"Carter and Rachel decided to take her down to the boardwalk." She jokingly gags at the mention of her ex's overly perfect girlfriend. Carter likes to pretend everything she touches turns to gold while making Samantha out to be the devil.
"Trying to be America's number one dad or something?"
"Something like that. I appreciate him putting in so much effort, don't get me wrong. I could have a much worse father for my daughter, but sometimes I feel like they're trying to be this perfect family with MY kid. Playing house and what not." She brushes the hair out of her face and let's out a sigh. "I think I'm just being dumb."
"You're not being dumb." I turn to look at my brunette child who is currently making sounds like his action figure is flying through the air, and a dull ache makes itself known in the side of my chest. The thought of Matt dating some other woman and that woman playing house with my son makes me feel sick. Another woman playing mommy to the child I've raised is an awful thought and I'm not sure how Samantha does it.
Samantha looks down at her watch and let's put another sigh.
"Speaking of Carter, I have to meet him to pick Amelia up in fifteen minutes. You want to come with? We could take the kids to get ice cream after."
"Love to. Let's just grab the waitress so we can pay and then we can head out." I tell her as I dig through my purse for my wallet.
"Okay. I'll text Carter and tell him to meet us at the ice cream shop around the corner.
__________
As we sit outside the ice cream shop, Cash licking away at his vanilla ice cream cone, his legs swinging back and forth happily on the bench, I see Carter and a woman I've met maybe once.
"There they are." Sam says in a not-so-excited voice as she stands and heads over towards them where Amelia starts calling out for 'mommy.'
"Hi, sugar!" Sam greets as she scoops up her blonde child as she starts rambling on about their day. I look down at my son and ruffle my hand through his hair as he looks up at me and smiles. I wish more than anything that he would talk to me the way Amelia talks to Samantha.
"I'll pick her up Friday night, then?" I hear Carter say while Sam balances an overly excited Amelia on her hip.
"Sure. What time?"
"Well, we will be headed to my parents house for dinner around 6." Rachel speaks up.
"And you want to take Amelia with you?"
"If that's okay." There's silence from my best friend before she nods.
"It's fine. So you're picking her up around 5 then?"
"That's fine with me." Carter stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans in to kiss his daughter on the cheek.
"I love you, sweet peach." Carter tells her before taking Rachel's hand and heading back the way they came. My stomach turns at the thought of having to go through a similar awkwardness with Matt. Having to pass Cash back and forth while balancing our own relationships sounds awful. Suddenly, the idea of living on my own with Cash doesn't sound so ideal.
I pull my phone out of my purse and pull up the text feed between Matt and I.
'We need to talk about our living situation soon.' I bite my bottom lip as Samantha makes her way over. She sets the little girl down and Amelia runs over to Cash and I where her cup of strawberry ice cream is waiting for her.
"Thank you so much, Ri Ri." She tells me as I hand her her spoon.
"You are so welcome."
"See the nightmare I have to deal with?" Sam whispers as she sits down beside me on the bench. "It's awkward every single time. It never gets better. I'm just glad Amelia has no idea." I look back over at the kids who are now talking between each other and giggling. They've known each other most of their lives and I'm glad Cash has a friend. "She's too perfect. Too put together. Too nice. Too smiley. It drives me crazy!"
"Why does life have to be so difficult? There's no winning." I tell her as I run my fingers through my hair. At that moment my phone begins to vibrate and I look down and see an incoming text from Matt. I take a deep breath before clicking the open button.
'I was thinking the same thing. Tonight? I'll be here when you get home.'
'We will be home soon.'
I close my phone and look up to see Sam staring at me.
"There's those stars in your eyes again." She mumbles out as she judges me with her shoulder.
"Stop." I giggle out as I stuff my phone back in my purse.
