Wildest Dreams
Bob Seger
The next morning when I wake up, I expect to hear the sounds I've heard every morning since I got here. The guys laughing, kitchen cabinet doors opening and closing, music coming from the stereo in the kitchen, choppy conversations, but there's nothing.
My eyebrows scrunch as I stand from the bed and walk over to the window that overlooks the street. No cars in the driveway. No cars parked on the street.
"Weird." I whisper to myself as I grab my fluffy pink robe off the hook by the bathroom door and slip my arms through the holes. As I knot the tie around my waist I throw my hair up into a messy bun I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where I see Matt and Cash sitting in the floor playing with Legos.
I clear my throat to get their attention and Cash's face lights up.
"Look, mama!" He runs over to me and shows me what looks like a helicopter built out of the multicolored block toys.
"Wow! That is so cool!" I tell him with excitement in my voice as I lift him up and press a kiss to his forehead. "How's my baby?" I ask him as I snuggle him close while he wiggles and struggles to get down. "Come on, Cash. Give mama some love."
"Okayyy." A smile forms at his sweet voice while hugging him tight before letting him down. Matt makes his way over to me, a lazy smile on his own face.
"He's been talking all morning." Matt tells me with pride in his voice. "More than I've heard since he's been home." I cock an eyebrow.
"Home?"
"Yes. Home."
"Sounds nice."
"I agree." Matt takes a step closer and takes my hand in his while pulling me closer. His hands find the base of my neck where he forces me to look up at him. I place my hands on his forearms and brush my thumbs over the tattooed skin. His lips press against my forehead and I close my eyes at his touch.
Matt pulls away from me and heads over to the stove, leaving me a little breathless. I pull myself together and hop up on a barstool as Matt fills a plate with pancakes and eggs. My favorite.
"Yum." I mumble as he passes me the plate along with a fork and syrup. I take a few bites before looking back up at him. "What did you say to the guys?"
"What do you mean?"
I motion towards the room with my fork as I finish chewing a bite of pancake.
"They're not here. I just assumed you told them to give us some space or something."
"I did, and they get it. They were just so excited to have you back and to meet Cash they got a little carried away. They weren't offended when I very nicely told them to back off." I laugh at the thought. I'm sure Matt's words were not so nice, more like 'hey, assholes, leave us alone for a couple days.'
"Whatever you said, thank you."
"No need. Somehow we have to find our routine and that won't happen with everyone in and out."
"You're right." I look over my shoulder at Cash playing with the Legos.
"I was thinking maybe we could make things a little more permanent."
"What's that mean?"
"Painting his room? Buying him a real crib to sleep in instead of that uncomfortable looking temporary one." I think about it for a second and smile.
"Okay. I like that idea."
"So let's go shopping."
"Let me finish eating and I'll get dressed. You want to take on dressing the Tasmanian devil?" I ask with a giggle.
"Maybe?" I hop up from the barstool and make a dash for the stairs.
"Don't come crying when you try to put his shoes on!" I yell as I run up the steps.
"Why? What happens?" Matt calls after me, worry in his voice.
"You'll see!"
I exit the bedroom an hour later, dressed and feeling much more refreshed. I head towards the stairs, listening for any sign of my two year old in distress.
"No!" I hear Cash shout and I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. "No, no no!" I hear a thud and I'm assuming the toy throwing has started.
"Come on, bud. They're just shoes."
"No! No shoes!"
"Please? Let's show mama we've got this whole thing under control. Come on, Cash."
"No shoes!" There's some sort of scuffle and I'm assuming Matt has picked him up at this point and is trying to wrestle him into the shoes. I make my way down the stairs without any sound as the wailing begins.
"Your mom is going to think I'm killing you. Please don't cry." More crying. I figure now is as good a time as any to make an entrance but I stop when I hear something I didn't expect to hear. Matt singing. The words send a shock straight to my heart because it's a song Matt and I use to sing together when we would ride in the car. Bob Dylan was a one of my favorites back then.
"When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love."
Cash is surprisingly quiet after just a second of hearing Matt's voice and I peek around the corner to see Matt tying up the lace on Cash's second shoe.
"See how easy that was?"
"Ahem." Matt turns to look at me and if I didn't know better I'd say he was blushing.
"How long have you been standing there?" He asks as he sets Cash down on his own two feet.
"Long enough."
"What's his problem with shoes?" I shrug my shoulders and reach for my purse on the coffee table.
"He's a two and a half year old and he knows how to say no. Come here, sugar." I tell Cash as I pick him up.
"I bought a car seat for the Jeep. Already put it in." I look up at Matt and I'm reminded of how much he means to me in that moment talking about a car seat.
"Oh. Okay. You can drive then." I turn to head towards the garage door in the kitchen before he can read the expression on my face.
I get Cash buckled in to the Jeep before hopping into the passenger seat. Matt jumps in moments later with a paper in his hand.
"What's that?" I ask as I go to take it from him.
"Nothing." Instead of putting the paper where I can see it, Matt folds it up and tucks it into his jacket pocket.
"Where to?" I ask as the garage door raises and Matt puts the car in reverse, his aviator sunglasses covering his eyes.
"Home Depot? We can pick out paint and stuff and then go look for furniture."
"Sounds good to me." I slip my own singlasses over my own eyes before turning to look at my toddler in the backseat who is happy as can be as Matt rolls down the windows. Cash's hair starts blowing in the wind and he erupts in a fit of giggles. Matt looks over at me, his dimples showing as he flips on the radio to a random song on his Bob Seger cd. Without thinking I reach over and slip my fingers through Matt's as we drive down the highway, not sure how, after everything, I could feel this happy.
My eyebrows scrunch as I stand from the bed and walk over to the window that overlooks the street. No cars in the driveway. No cars parked on the street.
"Weird." I whisper to myself as I grab my fluffy pink robe off the hook by the bathroom door and slip my arms through the holes. As I knot the tie around my waist I throw my hair up into a messy bun I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where I see Matt and Cash sitting in the floor playing with Legos.
I clear my throat to get their attention and Cash's face lights up.
"Look, mama!" He runs over to me and shows me what looks like a helicopter built out of the multicolored block toys.
"Wow! That is so cool!" I tell him with excitement in my voice as I lift him up and press a kiss to his forehead. "How's my baby?" I ask him as I snuggle him close while he wiggles and struggles to get down. "Come on, Cash. Give mama some love."
"Okayyy." A smile forms at his sweet voice while hugging him tight before letting him down. Matt makes his way over to me, a lazy smile on his own face.
"He's been talking all morning." Matt tells me with pride in his voice. "More than I've heard since he's been home." I cock an eyebrow.
"Home?"
"Yes. Home."
"Sounds nice."
"I agree." Matt takes a step closer and takes my hand in his while pulling me closer. His hands find the base of my neck where he forces me to look up at him. I place my hands on his forearms and brush my thumbs over the tattooed skin. His lips press against my forehead and I close my eyes at his touch.
Matt pulls away from me and heads over to the stove, leaving me a little breathless. I pull myself together and hop up on a barstool as Matt fills a plate with pancakes and eggs. My favorite.
"Yum." I mumble as he passes me the plate along with a fork and syrup. I take a few bites before looking back up at him. "What did you say to the guys?"
"What do you mean?"
I motion towards the room with my fork as I finish chewing a bite of pancake.
"They're not here. I just assumed you told them to give us some space or something."
"I did, and they get it. They were just so excited to have you back and to meet Cash they got a little carried away. They weren't offended when I very nicely told them to back off." I laugh at the thought. I'm sure Matt's words were not so nice, more like 'hey, assholes, leave us alone for a couple days.'
"Whatever you said, thank you."
"No need. Somehow we have to find our routine and that won't happen with everyone in and out."
"You're right." I look over my shoulder at Cash playing with the Legos.
"I was thinking maybe we could make things a little more permanent."
"What's that mean?"
"Painting his room? Buying him a real crib to sleep in instead of that uncomfortable looking temporary one." I think about it for a second and smile.
"Okay. I like that idea."
"So let's go shopping."
"Let me finish eating and I'll get dressed. You want to take on dressing the Tasmanian devil?" I ask with a giggle.
"Maybe?" I hop up from the barstool and make a dash for the stairs.
"Don't come crying when you try to put his shoes on!" I yell as I run up the steps.
"Why? What happens?" Matt calls after me, worry in his voice.
"You'll see!"
__________
I exit the bedroom an hour later, dressed and feeling much more refreshed. I head towards the stairs, listening for any sign of my two year old in distress.
"No!" I hear Cash shout and I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. "No, no no!" I hear a thud and I'm assuming the toy throwing has started.
"Come on, bud. They're just shoes."
"No! No shoes!"
"Please? Let's show mama we've got this whole thing under control. Come on, Cash."
"No shoes!" There's some sort of scuffle and I'm assuming Matt has picked him up at this point and is trying to wrestle him into the shoes. I make my way down the stairs without any sound as the wailing begins.
"Your mom is going to think I'm killing you. Please don't cry." More crying. I figure now is as good a time as any to make an entrance but I stop when I hear something I didn't expect to hear. Matt singing. The words send a shock straight to my heart because it's a song Matt and I use to sing together when we would ride in the car. Bob Dylan was a one of my favorites back then.
"When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love."
Cash is surprisingly quiet after just a second of hearing Matt's voice and I peek around the corner to see Matt tying up the lace on Cash's second shoe.
"See how easy that was?"
"Ahem." Matt turns to look at me and if I didn't know better I'd say he was blushing.
"How long have you been standing there?" He asks as he sets Cash down on his own two feet.
"Long enough."
"What's his problem with shoes?" I shrug my shoulders and reach for my purse on the coffee table.
"He's a two and a half year old and he knows how to say no. Come here, sugar." I tell Cash as I pick him up.
"I bought a car seat for the Jeep. Already put it in." I look up at Matt and I'm reminded of how much he means to me in that moment talking about a car seat.
"Oh. Okay. You can drive then." I turn to head towards the garage door in the kitchen before he can read the expression on my face.
I get Cash buckled in to the Jeep before hopping into the passenger seat. Matt jumps in moments later with a paper in his hand.
"What's that?" I ask as I go to take it from him.
"Nothing." Instead of putting the paper where I can see it, Matt folds it up and tucks it into his jacket pocket.
"Where to?" I ask as the garage door raises and Matt puts the car in reverse, his aviator sunglasses covering his eyes.
"Home Depot? We can pick out paint and stuff and then go look for furniture."
"Sounds good to me." I slip my own singlasses over my own eyes before turning to look at my toddler in the backseat who is happy as can be as Matt rolls down the windows. Cash's hair starts blowing in the wind and he erupts in a fit of giggles. Matt looks over at me, his dimples showing as he flips on the radio to a random song on his Bob Seger cd. Without thinking I reach over and slip my fingers through Matt's as we drive down the highway, not sure how, after everything, I could feel this happy.
♠ ♠ ♠
Mariah 