Wildest Dreams

I walk in the door of my two bedroom apartment with a frown on my face. The moment the door swings open, all I can hear is my toddler yelling from his bedroom. I make my way through the apartment, tossing my things down one at a time as I go and when I open the door to Cash's bedroom I see him standing up in his crib, his arms draped over the edge, and dried tears on his cheeks.

I turn on my heel and walk back out to the hallway and to the next door which leads to the bedroom I share with my so called 'boyfriend', Chris. The moment I'm out of Cash's site he starts wailing once more. I burst into the bedroom and Chris is laying in bed with a pillow over his head and his armed draped over the top of it.

"What the hell?" I shout as I rip the pillow away and smack him with it.

"What?" he grumbles as he reaches for another pillow.

"How long has Cash been crying?"

"I don't know, a while."

"And you didn't think to get him up and feed him? Jesus Christ, Chris."

"You're home now. Go feed him so he'll shut the hell up." I rip the blankets off of him and he sits up with anger written all over his face.

"What are you good for, huh!? Take care of him for the eight hours I'm at work. That's all I ask of you! The majority of that time he's asleep and you can't even manage it!"

"Are you going to keep yelling at me?"

"Yeah, I sure as hell am. You're useless, you know that?"

Chris stands up from the bed and places a hand on my cheek. A sickeningly sweet smile creeps it's way onto his face and I know what's coming before he even opens his mouth.

"Your voice is pissing me off. Don't make me shut you up." he pulls his hand away and steps past me without another word. A few seconds later I hear the sound of the bathroom door shut and the shower turn on. Thank God he's got to be at work in a little over an hour.

I step out of the bedroom and head back towards Cash's bedroom. His cries have quieted and I lift him out of his crib and carry him into the kitchen. I place him in his high chair, his legs kicking with excitement the entire time I prepare his breakfast. I microwave a few precooked breakfast sausages and pop a slice of bread in the toaster. Once it's all ready I place it on his tray and he digs in without a second thought. I lean my back against the counter and let out an exhausted sigh. I won't get any sleep until around four when Chris gets home from work, but this is my routine and I'm use to it for the most part.

I look down at my phone and read the time, 6:37 am. Only a few more minutes until Chris will have to leave for work and I will have the apartment to myself without worrying about upsetting him.

"What are you looking at?" I'm brought out of my thoughts by Chris walking into the kitchen towel drying his hair as he stalks across the room and rips my phone out of my hand.

"The time, damn." he gives me a long, hard stare before throwing my phone onto the counter top with force. My gaze never leaves his and if looks could kill he would be dead. "What is your problem today?"

"My problem is you. You came in raisin' hell and the only time you're not bitchin' is when you're on your damn phone."

"I was looking at the time, Chris. That is it." he rolls his eyes and grabs his jacket off the kitchen chair.

"Whatever. I'm out of here."

"Bye!" I shout as he slams the front door behind him. The entire apartment is silent after that and I look towards Cash who is munching on his breakfast like nothing just happened. It makes me sick to think he's so use to Chris and I fighting that it doesn't even faze him anymore.

My mind wanders towards the incident between Matt and I at the club and a nauseous feeling makes itself present in my stomach. Him finding me after all this time has me shaken and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. If he knows then it will only be a matter of time before he tells Brian and that will be bad for anyone involved, especially me.

I walk over to the cheap stereo system in the corner of the living room and turn on whatever CD Chris has in the player. Metallica, of course. I roll my eyes and start picking up the apartment while Cash is still entertained with his breakfast.

After Cash is finished eating and starts getting fidgety, I take a few books over to him and place them on the tray of his high chair. He begins flipping through them happily, distracted for just a couple moments more so I can get a few more tasks done.

Once I've picked up the living room and put on a pair of jeans and a solid black tank top, I throw my hair up into a pony tail and head back into the kitchen to take Cash down from his high chair. He toddles off to his room and I turn on a random cartoon station for him to watch. I plop down in the rocking chair in the corner and close my eyes for a few seconds. I take a deep breath and try to wash all of the uneasy feelings away, but it doesn't work. It seems like everything has to fall apart all at once. Things between Chris and I just keep getting worse, and now Matt shows up.

The silence is interrupted not long after by my cell phone ringing from the kitchen. Once I pick it up I see a number I don't recognize flashing across the screen and my heart drops. This can only mean one things.

"Hello?" I ask tentatively.

"We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you, Matt." I go to pull the phone away from my ear to hang up but I'm stopped by his next statement.

"Hang up the phone and I'll just show up. That's right. I know exactly where the trash pit you call home is. I can't believe that's where you're keeping my son."

"He's not your son. You've never even seen him."

"Who's fault is that?"

"Yours?"

"Cheating is not grounds for keeping someone's child away from them, Mariah."

"You don't deserve to know him."

"But your class act boyfriend does?"

"Stop."

"If you want to fight dirty, I'll fight dirty. You know I'll win and you will lose all custody of him. I'm trying to be fair here even though you don't deserve it. I'm trying to let you in on this. I want to know my son and Brian wants to know his nephew. We deserve that."

I close my eyes tight and I can feel tears burning at the backs of my eyes. I take a deep breath before answering.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to meet me at the coffee shop just around the corner from your apartment. I want you to bring my son and I want us to talk about this like adults."

I think over what he's asking of me for a moment. I consider all my options and I know he's right. Matt has more money than he knows what to do with and if he wanted to he could take Cash away. Maybe Cash would be better off, but I can't allow that. I also think about what Chris will do if he finds out I met up with a strange man while he was at work. He would lose his mind and I can't even imagine what he would do.

"Fine." I whisper out.

"Thank you, Mariah. I'll see you in an hour." there is relief in his voice and I can't imagine how excited he is to finally meet his son. Me on the other hand, I am far from excited.

I hang up the phone without another word and walk back into Cash's bedroom.

"What have I got myself into?" I ask my son as a smile forms on his innocent face.