Wildest Dreams

That night when I'm sitting on the couch flipping through the t.v channels waiting for Chris to get home so I can go to work. Cash is already sound asleep in his crib and won't wake up again until I get home at six in the morning.

As I'm staring at the t.v screen not really taking in what's on, the door swings open and in walks a very agitated looking Chris. His hair is disheveled and I can see tension in his movements.

"Hey." I mumble as he shuts the door to the apartment. He turns to look at me and there is an emotion in his eyes I can't quite place, but it scares me.

"Hey? That's what you're going to say to me after I've spent all day working my ass off to support you?" I stand up and put my hands up in front of me in a defensive stance.

"I was just saying hi." I walk towards the hallway where the bedroom is to grab my duffle bag for work but I'm taken off guard by a hand grabbing me by the back of the neck and slamming me against the hallway wall. "What the hell, Chris?" I try to keep my voice down to keep from waking Cash who is only a few steps away in his bedroom.

"Why did I get a phone call today from one of the neighbors saying there was some strange man walking you home!? Huh!?"

Fear settles itself uncomfortably in my lower stomach as my mouth goes dry. Chris's hand wraps around my throat and squeezes just enough to scare me. I can smell the alcohol on his breath, Jack Daniels, I'm assuming. He probably spent all the money he made today at work at the bar that's down the road.

"Who the fuck was it!?" he shouts, his free hand reaches up to slap me across the face. The sting burns deep and it's hard to take a breath.

"Shhh. Please don't wake up Cash." I whisper out as best I can with the restricted air flow.

"I don't give a fuck about your child, bitch."

My heart starts racing in my chest and even though I have put up with Chris putting his hands on me regularly, this time is not like the rest. The rage in his eyes is making him look crazy. Tears start to slide down my cheek as he stares me down, the rage never faltering.

"Answer me!"

Another slap, this one harder than the first and I know it's going to leave a mark I'll have to cover with makeup somehow.

"Okay! Okay!" I shout out as I place my hand on his wrist to try and regain the ability to breath like normal. Chris wrips his hand from my throat and grabs me by the shoulders as he shoves me down on the ground. White hot pain flashes in front of my eyes as I hit my head on the corner where the door to Cash's bedroom and the hallway meet. I reach up to the spot and feel something wet. Blood. I feel a little bit rattled and I try my best to get up but my limbs feel funny.

"Who was it!?"

I hear stirring in the next room and I know Cash must be awake. Within seconds my son is screaming since he was woken up by yelling.

"Just let me check on him and I'll tell you whatever you want to know." I hold one of my hands up in front of my face, fearing Chris may try to kick me, while the other one holds the back of my bleeding head. Chris looks from me to the bedroom door.

"Shut him up and get your ass back out here."

I do my best to get onto my hands and knees where I can crawl into the bedroom. I hear Chris storm down the hallway to the kitchen and I try my hardest to move fast as I reach for my cell phone that had been stuffed into the side of my pants under my shirt. I type in my password with lightening speed and scroll through the contacts as fast as I can to Matt's number. I dial it and shove it back into my pants after seeing that the call connects, all while Cash is hanging on his crib crying his little heart out. I can hear Chris yelling and mumbling to himself from the kitchen and my heart sinks once more. He's slamming stuff around and I know his getting more and more mad by the minute.

I pull myself up to a standing position as I use Cash's crib for support and all I can do is pray Matt is on the phone and listening. I brush hair out of Cash's face and lay him back down while pulling his blanket back up around his waist for comfort. His eyes flutter closed after a few seconds of fighting to go back to sleep. I rip the phone out of the band of my pants once more and press it to my ear.

"What in the hell is going on, Mariah? Mariah! Who the fuck is yelling!?" I hear Matt saying as he's talking into the phone without getting any response for the past few seconds.

"I'm here. Matt I need help. I don't have long. Please come. It's Chris." I whisper out as the tears start to flow once more.

"Did he hurt you? Are you okay? Where's the baby?"

"Cash is safe. Hurry."

"Mariah what the fuck is taking you so long!?" Chris yells from the kitchen and I hit the end button on the phone and slide it into the back of my jeans. As I'm leaving Cash's room I make sure to hit the lock on the inside of the door before shutting it, just in case. If Chris did try anything at least the door will be locked and will slow him down until Matt can get here.

I manage to make my way slowly into the living room area, my head still pounding and making it hard to concentrate.

"Now have you thought about what I asked you?" I take a second before responding as I look at Chris leaning against the kitchen cabinet, a beer in his right hand and a cigarette burning in his left.

"The man the neighbor saw is Cash's father."

Chris is silent as he takes in the information. His grip tightens on the beer as he takes another sip.

"His father, huh?"

"Maybe you should put the beer down and we can talk about this."

An eerie laugh escapes Chris's throat as he continues to sip his beer.

"You don't tell me what we are going to do." he takes one last swig and before I even have time to react he throws the beer bottle straight at my head. At the very last second I duck down and the bottle shatters against the wall just behind me.

Right at that moment there is a loud pounding on the door to the apartment and my heart jumps out of my chest as I slide down the wall and sit down, everything starting to go fuzzy around the edges and the pain in the back of my head is only getting worse and the bleeding hasn't stopped. I reach my hand up to feel how matted and soaked in blood my hair is.

"Who the fuck is it?" Chris yells as he stalks over to look out the peep hole.

"Open the door." Matt's voice booms from the other side.

"Who are you?" I hear someone banging on the door and before I know it the door is being busted down and in strolls Matt, Jimmy, and Zack like they own the place. It's the first time I've seen anyone but Matt in three years.

An altercation takes place right in front of me but my head is so foggy at this point I don't know what is happening anymore. Before I know it I'm being scooped up into someone's arms and I hear the sound of Cash crying softly. I look around for him and see him resting in Jimmy's arms, trying to cry himself back to sleep. I look up into Matt's face and see a very unhappy expression written across it.

"I'm sorry." I whisper out as the tears start to flow once more. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey." Matt says sternly as he looks down into my face. "This is my fault." he says with pain in his voice. "I let this happen to you."

I press my face against his strong chest and breath in the smell of him. It's the only thing that could possibly comfort me in this moment.

"I let this happen." I hear him whisper out one more time, more to himself than to me.