Stay

(Zacky's P.O.V)

My life isn't exactly what you would call perfect. At least not anymore that is. Especially since the latest downfall is the ending of our relationship. I just hope that you can at least give me the chance to explain myself to you even though I know I might be wasting my time.

We had just finished up the last of our 5 month tour and I thought everything was going great but I guess I was wrong. If only you knew how sorry I was.

I sat around the house all day today, doing the normal things that I do since you've been gone. I grab a bottle of whiskey off of the counter and drink it to my hearts content. "This would be a perfect time to see you before I black out again." I quietly mutter to myself while I stare at the pictures of us that once lined the walls in what used to be "our" house. "I know I did wrong but you have to know that I didn't mean it and that I am so sorry."

Katie was my best friend and I had betrayed her in the worse way possible. She accepted me, the life that I chose to live and in return I threw our relationship away for a one night stand. I can't blame it on anything else but myself though. I liked to drink, I liked to smoke and I occasionally liked to do some drugs here and there.

But once I had gotten with Katie, I didn't feel the need to do those things anymore. Everyone in my band could see it too. I was more together and more focused during every practice and show that we had so far. I was proud of myself.

And in the end, I had everything that I could ever need; The perfect career, the perfect house and the perfect girlfriend. I guess I was too blind to see that you needed me while I was flying up somewhere in the clouds though. I just need another chance to redeem myself while I still have the hope that you will take me back.

I grab my phone from beside me on the bed and start to dial your number for the 5th time again today. I just hope that you'll answer this time instead of pressing ignore. "What do you want now, Zack? I already told you I don't ever want to see you or speak to you again." I feel my throat start to burn as I hear those words come from your lips. Or maybe the alcohol is already starting to affect me.

But I decide to give it another try anyway and ask for one more go. "Katie please, I just need you to hear me out. Can you please just meet me outside of your house?" You hesitate greatly before eventually sighing and agreeing to my request. "It better be worth it." I quickly hang up before heading over towards the bathroom. I look myself over in the mirror, my eyes are bloodshot and my hair is a mess but I figured its better then nothing.

Its a quick drive to your place and I can't help but feel more nervous than ever. I know you've seen me worse before but not like this. I guess you'll see it for yourself in a few moments.

"God, you look awful." Katie's voice was filled with pity as she stared at me with a sad expression. "What has happened to you, Zacky?" I scratch the back of my head uneasily before finally answering her.

"I haven't been sleeping well these past few days." She shakes her head at me, obviously seeing through my lies. It wasn't like I was being completely untruthful, I just didn't know how to tell her that I had fallen back into my old ways again.

"I want you to tell me the truth Zack. Can you at least do that for me please?" Her voice starts to give way and I can tell that she is on the brink of tears. I take in a shaky deep breath before deciding to give in.

"I've started drinking again Katie. I haven't been the same since you've left me. All I've become is just another mess to be cleaned up from off of the floor. But I didn't come here for you to feel sorry for me, I came here because I want you to know that I still love you." I plead myself out to her but all she does is stare at me blankly.

I decide to give it another minute until I shrug my shoulders and hang my head low, signaling that I had given up the fight. But at least that I can say that I tried, right?

"Zack, I will always love you. But you need help." I chuckle bitterly under my breath. I've tried to get help in the past but nothing seemed to work for me. To be quite honest, I think the only thing that helped me stay clean and sober was her.

"The only help that I need is for you to keep loving me, Katie." Again she goes silent before suddenly embracing me in a tight hug. I hold her closely to me, taking in the scent of her perfume that instantly warms up my heart to the core.

"Please, stay the night with me?" She whispers softly into my ear. I look down at her with a small smile before eagerly following her inside the house.

I pour myself out to her throughout the night, not even feeling the effects of the alcohol anymore. She listens and tells me that things will be alright as long as we stick together. I couldn't contain my feelings inside much longer until I eventually had kissed her on the lips.

But instead of resisting and pushing me away like I thought she would, she kissed me back. It suddenly felt like an enormous weight had been lifted right off of my shoulders.

I finally felt alive again.

Now can you believe that was exactly one year ago on this day? I always thought that I would never make it through but because of her I did. I just wish that I could have been stronger for the two of us and not do what I did.

I ended my life a few months after Katie had taken me back. I don't know why I did it but it ultimately felt like the best thing to do for the both of us. I was a lost cause anyways and I knew that Katie had more meaning than I did.

As I laid in the hospital bed on a life support, I could feel Katie's hand gripping onto mine tightly. She was crying as she stroked the top of my hand gently. The last words I heard her say to me will always haunt my mind. "Please just stay with me, I can't do it without you."

Now I sit here up in heaven, waiting for the day where I can finally be with her again. She comes to visit me everyday at the cemetery and while I try to let her know that I love her too, she can't hear me, the only thing she just feels is the breeze blowing by her.

"I love you, Zacky." Katie's voice rings in my ears. She's here again and this time she brought me flowers. She always knew that I had a weak spot for them even if it did seem sort of strange.

"I will always love you Katie, please don't cry. I'm always here watching over you." I promise her.

I will always be there to watch over her and make sure that she keeps living the life that I know she was meant for. Because my love for Katie will always be there.

Even though I physically can't be.