The Chasing of Moons

“Spill it, Oreo,” Mikey says, after dragging Frank out of the lunchroom.

“Okay, is it like a running joke or something to completely forget my name?” Frank asks.

“I’m not going to attempt to pronounce your mess of a last name, Oreo,” Mikey says.

“Fine. Just call me Oreo.”

“I already planned on it,” Mikey replies, “now, do I need to repeat myself? You need to spill on how you knew about Gerard’s, uh, crush.”

“I just know,” Frank shrugs.

“Oh, so you just happen to know all of the details of it?” Mikey asks.

“Yes?”

“Yeah right.”

“I have to get to class,” Frank says, “with your brother coincidentally.”

“You’re not going to tell him,” Mikey warns, but it sounds more like a threat than a warning.

“Uh, no?” Frank asks.

“If you tell him that you know, he’ll assume that I told you and I’ll get the cold shoulder for the rest of my life,” Mikey says, “and I still need to know how you know in the first place.”

Frank is caught between a rock and a hard place. He doesn’t know how to tell Mikey any of what he knows about Gerard, because, to put it simply, it’s crazy. Everything is crazy, and stupid, and unbelievable. If he were to tell Mikey, he’d probably retract his approval for Frank to chase after Gerard because he would think that Frank is actually crazy. He shouldn’t have opened his big mouth. He should’ve pretended not to know that Gerard likes him, because now he’s in this mess.

He supposes that the only thing he could do to get across to Mikey the reality of his knowledge is to show him the letter. But he can’t do that, that note is for him and Gerard only. He’s not supposed to show Mikey that. He can’t. And yet it seems like it might not only be the right thing to do, but it might actually help him out a million times over. If Mikey knows the truth than Frank will be able to use him more strategically. That and Mikey might actually ask Pete out.

“Seriously though, I have class,” Frank says, “but, I’ll explain all of this to you later.”

“Are you lying to me?” Mikey asks, squinting his eyes skeptically at Frank.

“No, just, you’re going to have to come to my house for me to explain this to you. It’s kind of complicated, and you will need proof.”

“Proof?” Mikey asks in the tone that is really the most suiting for Frank’s words. “Yes, because that makes so much sense.”

“Ugh, jeez, just trust me, it’ll make sense if you just listen to me. It’s just really really really really really really really really-”

“Frank!” Mikey cuts him off.

“Sorry. Really really really complicated.”

“Seriously?” Mikey asks him, “all I asked was how do you know about Gerard’s crush and you’re trying to tell me it’s as complicated as learning advanced calculus.”

“It really is,” Frank says, “You have no idea. Just, fine me at my locker after school and try to bear in mind that I’m not crazy.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Mikey says offhandedly before Frank’s scurrying away from him. He needs to go get his seat next to Gerard, because if he gets there too late then someone else, probably Ray, will have sat there and will make Frank’s jealousy turn into a raging house fire.

Frank, luckily, arrives only seconds after Gerard’s sat down and he takes his place next to him quickly, saying a dreamy hello, and receiving an unenthusiastic grunt in return.

“I was wondering whether you know if Mikey’s aware that he likes Pete,” Frank asks.

“What?”

“Well, like, we both know that they like each other, but I’m pretty sure that Pete’s unaware of that, so do you think Mikey is unaware too?” Frank asks, “Because, like, he might know after today.”

“Why?” Gerard asks, “What are you planning on doing?”

“Nothing!” Frank says, although that’s not quite true. If he wants to try to tell Mikey what’s going on, he’s going to have to read the letter that Gee wrote and if he reads that then he’s going to know that he ends up with Pete. There’s not much more obvious than that fact.

Frank’s still not entirely positive that telling Mikey is the right thing to do. He thinks that he should probably save that information, and let their relationship bloom naturally, but at the same time, he can’t help but to think that this could be a breakthrough for him. He thinks that Mikey would try harder if he knew what was at stake. Frank could be his actual future brother in law, but they’ve got to get him and Gerard together first before that can happen. This is all way too complicated, and Frank just wishes he could never have met Gee sometimes.

But then he remembers how his life would probably be if he hadn’t met Gee in that bar. He’d never have looked twice at Gerard, and that’s what really gets him. He’d never have said one word to Gerard, he’d never have met Mikey or Ray, Pete never would have met Mikey, and the very idea of it actually makes him feel sad and desperately thankful for the way that everything actually did turn out.

Even though it’s been only a few days, Frank can already look back at lunch and feel a million times lonelier in those memories than when he sits with Gerard, Mikey and Ray. There’s only three people fewer and yet it feels like the whole world has grown smaller. Frank’s really falling too hard too quickly, and it’s a shame that he hasn’t even gotten Gerard to give him the time of day yet.

“You’re planning something, I know you are,” Gerard says, “you’re very obvious about it.”

“Okay, so like, basically, Mikey needs me to explain a few things to him, which I’m going to do, but in order to do that, I’ve got to like, give him some context and part of that context includes the reality that he’s in love with Pete.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘in love,’” Gerard says, “I mean it’s not like they’re going to marry each other or anything.”

Frank frowns, because he’s not so sure about that one at all. How does he respond to that? He can’t just say, ‘hey actually, they are going to get married and also so are we, you may now kiss the groom.’

“Yeah, you’re totally right,” Frank says, “they’re not going to get married. I mean seriously, what are the odds of anybody in this school marrying the person they’re dating right now?” Frank then proceeds to laugh awkwardly, turn pink, and cover his face with his hand.

“Okay then,” Gerard says, doing his best to pretend that he doesn’t even know that Frank’s there, which would be preferable to the both of them right about now.

In the end, Frank’s not very good at talking to Gerard today, because his hearts beating way too fast for his own liking, from the fear of what he’s dug himself into. He’s built a hole in which he’s going to have to tell Mikey something. He doesn’t want to, but he feels like he kind of has to and he’s really just super pissed at himself for saying anything. He should’ve kept his mouth shut and just blamed Ray. That’s what he should’ve done. He should have told Mikey that Ray had told him, and let Ray deal with the consequences of his lying. Except Frank’s too good a person to do that and he hates himself everyday because of it.

Really, Frank never thought he would reach a time in his life where he considered himself to be more awkward than he was during puberty, but if anything parallels that, it’s this.

The day then drags past Frank very slowly. He’s not able to focus on much of anything, and it’s almost a surprise to him when he finds himself standing in front of his own locker, watching Mikey bicker with Frank’s locker neighbor about the fact that he’s leaning against her locker.

“Mikey, just move,” he says, rolling his eyes, and pulling his backpack out of his own locker.

“Ugh, fine,” Mikey groans, and he lets her go about her business, but only with a scowl on his face. Frank can very definitely see the little brother in Mikey at this, and tries to ignore it. For the most part, he and Gerard seem to have a better relationship than most other siblings that Frank is aware of, but then again, there is still some annoying sibling bleeding off of Mikey’s personality. Frank wonders how he’d be if he’d had a brother or a sister. Probably the worst brother ever, and he’s kind of proud of that. Frank is already a menace, and that would only double with siblings. To be fair, his mom really lucked out there.

“How do you even have a car? Is this what it’s like being a single child? Cars? I want to be a single child someday,” Mikey groans.

“I just have a rich aunt,” Frank shrugs.

“Ugh, I want a rich aunt. All I have is an aunt who smells like cornflakes,” Mikey says.

Conversation with Mikey is interesting to say the least. Frank’s not sure how he does it, because he doesn’t actually say a whole lot, but he manages to get Frank to basically recite his life story in the span of about ten minutes on the drive to his house. Maybe it’s his choice of filler words, or maybe he’s just an actual wizard, but Frank is kind of wary of his power. Something tells him he’s one guy you wouldn’t want to be on the bad side of. And the same thing kind of rings true for his brother, because if you’re on his bad side, it makes it all the more difficult to get him to fall in love with you. Or at least, that’s what Frank’s experience suggests.

Eventually, he pushes Mikey up the stairs, says a quick hello and explanation to his mother and then slams his door shut with a mildly panicked heartbeat as he tries to pull his thoughts together.

“Okay so there’s really only about three things that can happen here,” Mikey starts, “The first is that you’re actually not lying and are going to show me whatever proof you have of how you know about Gerard’s crush. The second is that you’re trying to seduce me, and I wouldn’t blame you, but it really won’t help in your efforts to get Gerard. Last is that you’re going to attempt to murder me but will then find out that trying to murder me is not a good idea and you will instead find yourself murdered.”

“Yeah, so it’s the first one,” Frank says.

“Darn, well I guess that makes things a bit less interesting, doesn’t it?”

“Uh, not really,” Frank replies, “wait till I show you what it is that you’ve gotta see.”

“I’m on pins and needles,” Mikey says sardonically, sitting down on the side of Frank’s bed, even though Frank did not actually tell him he could. He would’ve offered him a seat, his mother raised him that way, but he would at least liked to have been given the chance to act polite. Then again, questioning Mikey seems pointless.

“Uh, okay, so,” Frank says, shuffling awkwardly to his desk, and pulling the letter out of the drawer on the bottom where he used to keep his copies of totally-not-stolen-what-are-you-talking-about magazines which he would draw moustaches on. To be fair, they were just taken from doctor and dentist offices, so who’s really going to miss them? And why on earth should Frank miss out on the golden opportunity to give Meghan Trainor demon eyes, and Tom Cruise some Mutton Chops. Frank has a strange form of entertainment, yes, but he could be disemboweling people instead, so he thinks he’s made a good life choice.

“Well, the thing is that this is really, well, it explains everything,” Frank says, “it explains all that there is to know about what’s going on, but the thing is, um, it’s crazy. None of this makes any sense, and you might think I’m mad, but, like, you just gotta hear everything out, and keep an open mind.”

“Uh, alright,” Mikey answers.

“Yeah, okay so, well, there’s also some stuff about you in there, and fuck, I’m probably not supposed to be show you this, because I think it’s supposed to stay between me and, uh Gerard, but like, well, it’s too late now isn’t it.”

“Why the hell are you being so cryptic? You got me alone just to show me a letter?” Mikey asks, waving the papers about too precariously and Frank suddenly feels like he’s hanging a baby out the window with how he’s treating that letter, because to him, it’s too special. It needs to be put in a frame and hung in the Louvre.

“Okay, could you like, treat that like it’s special, because it is special,” Frank says. Mikey frowns at him, giving him a stink eye, and just for show he makes a display of waving it about and Frank is going to smack it away from him if he keeps that up.

“So what even is this?” Mikey says, and looks down at the first sheet of paper. “Wait, this is Gerard’s handwriting?”

“Yeah, it, uh, should be,” Frank says.

“Alright fine,” Mikey rolls his eyes, “I’ll look at it, gimme a few minutes.”

Frank nods, and then walks over to his desk chair and sits down, at the edge of it, barely even aware of his own fast heartbeat. He concentrates his attention on his toes rather than on looking at the look on Mikey’s face as he reads. He doesn’t want to see the disbelieving look.

“What the...?” Mikey says, and Frank’s not even sure where in the letter he is. That could come from literally anywhere. It’s a weird note. You don’t usually read a letter from your future older brother that was written to his future husband. It’s just not a common predicament.

“But this is Gerard’s handwriting,” Mikey mumbles, and Frank doesn’t respond, because he thinks that he must be talking to himself.

Mikey’s a quicker reader than Frank, because he’s in the middle of reciting what he’s practically memorized of the letter in his head when Mikey looks up and stares at Frank in disbelief.

“What the fuck?” Mikey asks.

“You think I’m crazy?”

“What the hell happened to my eyebrows?” Mikey says instead as an answer which makes Frank give him a disbelieving look, because seriously, that’s what he’s taken from the letter? Not the fact that Frank marries Gerard or that he marries Pete, but that he burned off his eyebrows?

“Seriously?” Frank asks.

“Can I see these pictures?” Mikey asks. “Gerard mentions pictures, where are they?”

“Uh, they’re uh,” Frank sighs, standing up, and he walks over to his bed, reaching under the pillow for where he’s been keeping the pictures.

“Oh you keep them under your pillow, that’s creepy,” Mikey says, “Do I need hand sanitizer after I touch those?”

“Oh grow up!” Frank says, grabbing the pictures and handing them to Mikey. He puts his hands all over them, smudging the gloss and Frank has to breathe deeply to not yank his hair out or punch Mikey in the face.

“Whoa,” Mikey says, “so like, this is serious isn’t it?”

“What?” Frank asks, “You believe this?”

“Well, I read the note,” Mikey shrugs, “it seems legit enough.”

“Oh my god,” Frank says emphatically, “so you believe me? I’m not crazy?”

Mikey shrugs, “I grew up with Gerard. Honestly, nothing is unbelievable if you grow up on comic books, horror movies, sci-fi, and that show with the phone booth.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” Frank replies.

“It was just a British show that was really good and then got taken over by the worst writer on the planet. Gerard complains about it every day. You’re going to have to get used to that if you’re going to marry him.”

“That’s fine,” Frank says, “what really matters is that you believe me! I don’t need to internally combust by myself anymore, because now I can talk to you, right?”

“Sure...?”

“That’s fucking fantastic. I love you Mikey. But not, because I love your brother, obviously. And he’s going to love me too. Just you wait.”

“Yeah, you’re not obsessed or anything,” Mikey says sarcastically, and Frank would argue if he had any basis to refute that, which he does not. He is somewhat obsessed. He doesn’t know how else to address this situation other than with blazing, somewhat creepy passion.

“So what about, uh, Pete?” Frank asks with trepidation. He doesn’t know how to approach that subject subtly.

“What about me and Pete?” Mikey asks.

“You did get to the part about you and him, right?” Frank asks.

“Yes,” Mikey replies, not blinking.

“What do you think about that?” Frank asks again.

Mikey shrugs, “Makes sense. Thought he seemed a little different. Guess it’s because I like him. I just thought I was catching a cold.”

Frank stares back at Mikey in awe, trying to figure out if that was a joke or if he honestly is that unaware of his own emotions. Mikey is rather enigmatic, it could really be either, and Frank doesn’t know him well enough to pinpoint exactly which sounds more true.

“Really?” Frank asks.

Mikey shrugs again, and that’s almost in and of itself, an emotion.

“So, uh, now that you know everything, can you help me out more with Gerard maybe?” Frank asks nervously.

“I suppose so. I mean, I guess I have an obligation to now, don’t I? Why’d you have to rope me into all of this, now I have to pretend that I care,” Mikey groans.

“Do you need any help with Pete?”

“What? No way,” Mikey says, “I’m not as helpless as you are, I don’t need any help.”

“I would be offended but I don’t think that it would be warranted. I mean after all I can barely look at Gerard without tripping over myself, I need you there to stop me from accidentally drown myself in my own drool.”

“Gross,” Mikey says, “so I guess this makes sense as to why you were all weird on him the other day. Did you sleep with my brother? Or the future version of my brother, I mean?”

“What? No! Maybe. Yes. No. I did. Don’t tell him, it’d freak him out. Your brother was very good looking, I’m only a mere mortal, and he was hot. I just. No, never mind. I didn’t sleep with him. Nope.”

Mikey says again, “Gross.”

“I’m sorry. I’m nervous. I tend to rant when I’m nervous. And when I’m not nervous. I just tend to rant,” Frank says.

“Yeah, like Gerard said,” Mikey waves the letter around again which makes Frank’s chest cramp with nerves, because he’s going to tear it or smudge something and then the world might as well be over. “He’s probably the only person who talks more than you. And boy can he talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. He never shuts up, oh my god, good luck with him, I pity you.”

“I pity you too,” Frank says, with absolute seriousness, because oh god handling Pete sounds arduous. It’s like raising a child. Pete is himself just a small man-child.

“Well that’s settled then,” Mikey says, throwing the letter over to the other side of the bed, which means that Frank can grab it, flatten it out, and then hide it in his drawer. He really would frame it, that’s not past him, but he worries about how tacky it would be because it’s three pages, and double sided, so how would he go about it? See, when they were writing up the Declaration of Independence, they put so much more thought into it, because they made sure that it all fit on one side so that it could be put in a museum and they also made sure to put the secret treasure map on the back for Nicholas Cage to find one day. If only Gerard had been that strategic.

“So we have a deal on that thing where we lure Gerard, I mean get, lure sounds a little perverse, Gerard to the book store so that I can make him fall in love with me?” Frank asks hopefully.

“I guess,” Mikey shrugs.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Frank says, “I’m getting closer!”

“Whatever,” Mikey sighs, and really, that feels like an emotional response from Mikey. It’s not that he has no emotions, he just seems very contained with the emotions that he does have. And Frank still is slightly terrified that he’s going to kill him and get away with it. But he supposes that that’s just the risk he has to take for Gerard, and Gerard is certainly worth brutal murder. Or at least, you know, probably.