The Chasing of Moons

Frank’s still pretty much trying to work out the logistics of how any of this is his life right now. He always figured that getting a dude to have sex with him would be a lot more difficult than this. He thought that he’d have to try to find someone who wasn’t all that attractive, probably not all that experienced, probably about as bad at it as Frank was. He just thought that altogether, it would be a very arduous experience, but this has been quite easy.

He’d thought that it would be himself who’d have to instigate just about everything. He thought he’d have to go up to someone, have to introduce himself first, half to be the initiator of everything, but this has proved to be otherwise. All Frank really had to do was buckle his seat belt and wait for things to play out the way that they have.

To be fair, he wasn’t all that great, but that was his first time, and Gee didn’t exactly say anything negative about him. He’s assuming he wasn’t great, but he has a good excuse. Frank’s about as inexperienced as someone who’s not actually a virgin can get. Basically, he’s only ever slept with a girl before, so this was very different in a good way.

It’s been very nice, he has to say. He’s now sitting on the roof of his house, wearing very little clothes, watching Gee blow smoke out into the night air. It smells like rain. The roof is damp, but not enough so that he’s all that worried about falling off. Frank’s been up here a couple thousand times before to think. His window opens up onto the roof so it’s easy access, and if his mother knew he comes up here sometimes, she’d probably kill him, but that doesn’t matter. Frank likes it. It’s serene.

It sounds like spring. There’s really no other word for it but that. It smells like rain, it sounds like spring. Like life coming awake after the last couple of months of winter.

Frank can’t even believe that he still doesn’t know Gee’s real name. He’s been calling the guy Gee without even a guess at what his name actually is. Frank doesn’t know what the fuck he means about Frank figuring it out. How do you just figure out a person’s name?

Frank’s had a bunch of really perverse thoughts on that matter actually. His creepiest thought is that maybe Gee is going to replace a teacher at his school, and that would be really fucking terrifying, but that doesn’t make sense. He also supposes that it’s completely possible that he really did sleep with some famous celebrity and he’s going to see the guy in the news or something. He can’t think of anything that actually makes any sense.

“Do me a favor kid,” Gee says, speaking up for the first time in a few minutes.

“It’s kind of demeaning for you to call me ‘kid,’” Frank replies.

“Don’t smoke,” Gee replies, ignoring Frank, “like, just don’t.”

“I don’t.”

“I know, and don’t start,” Gee says, and then he looks over at Frank with a spark in his eye like he’s just gotten an idea. “In fact, if you ever have a friend or your boyfriend or anything who starts to smoke, just don’t let him, okay? Like, if he even thinks about it, just punch him in the face to stop him. I remember I started to smoke at the beginning of April in my senior year of high school. You’re a senior, if you know someone who thinks about doing that, just don’t let him, okay? It’s March now, so like, yeah, punch him in the face if and when you see him try it out, you have my full permission. Make sure you save them from the monstrosity of having to deal with it.”

“Alright?”

“Promise me, okay?” Gee says, looking at him severely, and Frank doesn’t get why he’s being so serious on the subject. Frank doesn’t have a clue as to what he’s supposed to do, or who the hell Gee could even be talking about. Frank doesn’t have that many close friends, he’s got a lot of friends, just not many who he can really talk to, or who would ever actually listen to him about a lot of things, such as smoking for example.

“Yeah, I guess,” Frank says, but that doesn’t seem to be enough for Gee, so Frank continues, “I promise.”

“Good,” Gee nods.

“So, I have a question then,” Frank replies meekly.

“And what’s that?”

“Why, uh, why did you... like, I don’t know.”

“Why’d I come onto you?” Gee asks the question for him.

“Well, yeah, pretty much.”

“I just did. You don’t have to question it. It’s not some big riddle or anything. You didn’t need to dissect it like it’s a Rubik’s cube, I just like you.”

Frank starts, making literally no sense at all whatsoever, “Okay, so like, I didn’t want to bring it up during that or anything, because, like, I mean, I didn’t want to be a complete idiot about it, ‘cause like, you actually wanted to sleep with me, and I wasn’t going to turn that down, because like-”

“Frank, get to the point,” Gee cuts in.

“Right, sorry, like... god, I’m sorry, it’s just that, you’ve got a wedding ring,” Frank says, feeling his insides clench tightly at the words when he says them. It was true whether or not he decided to mention it, but saying it makes it all the more real. He hates himself a little bit, even though he’s kind of happy. It’s a conflicting feeling. Part of him feels like a home wrecker while the rest of him is just really glad that he finally got to know what it was like to be with a guy. He thought he’d wait for another few years, but this was extremely unexpected, and convenient. Not convenient in a way that’s bad, like he only accepted because he’s desperate, he honestly can’t help but be attracted to Gee, but he just doesn’t know if this was okay, because the dude has a fucking wedding ring.

By the time that Frank had noticed, it was kind of an inconvenient time. Which is to say that he was not wearing the amount of clothes that he would ideally be wearing when calling someone out on something like that. It’s hard to confront someone about wearing a wedding ring after you’ve literally gotten them into your bed and taken off the majority of both of your clothes.

“Don’t worry about it,” Gee says, nonchalantly.

“Don’t worry about it? Seriously? That’s what you’re telling me. You like, are literally wearing a wedding ring. I’m literally sitting next to you and you have a wedding ring. How am I supposed to feel about that?”

“Trust me, I’m not cheating or anything.”

“What, so like... what? Are you not together anymore or something?”

“No,” Gee says bluntly.

“Well thanks for clearing that up!” Frank says sarcastically. “Then what? I can’t help but feel like a home wrecker or something, and you’re just sitting there. I didn’t want to bring it up, because, I figure you know what you’re doing, you’re the adult here, but it’s going to bother me. I mean, what if you cheated on this guy with me, or if he’s dead, then I’ll feel really guilty because you haven’t told me and I’m a bitch because I’m just assuming you’re a cheater, but maybe-”

“Look, I... we have an agreement,” Gee says.

“An agreement?” Frank asks, “Like an open marriage?”

“No, not like that.”

“Well then like what?” Frank asks emphatically.

“Not like anything. This is definitely a unique situation that we have here. I’m almost positive that there’s no comparing it,” Gee says, and Frank’s really getting sick of how mysterious the dude is trying to be. It’s like he’s trying to come across as this mystical bad boy or something, but Frank did just see him naked and there’s literally no hiding the fact that his boxers had the Batman emblem on them.

“Well what the fuck does that mean?”

“I just can’t explain it to you,” Gee says, shaking his head and he snubs out the last of his cigarette on the roof before tossing it away, out into the trees below. Frank really wants to give him a lecture about littering, but the damn thing is gone now, no way in hell would they be able to find it, so he mightn’t even bother.

“Try to.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Gee replies.

“Okay, then answer me this,” Frank says, “Are you like, gonna stay with this guy?”

“’Course I am, I love him to pieces.”

Frank’s heart falls just a little bit. He kind of expected that, but part of him is still really let down on it. He likes this guy. He doesn’t know why. Gee’s just really compelling for some odd reason.

“Oh. So like, this is a one-off thing then isn’t it?”

Gee sighs and looks over at Frank, “I have until Sunday, and then I gotta go back.”

“Go back?”

“Yeah,” Gee replies.

“And when you go back, wherever it is you’re going, will I ever see you again.”

Gee purses his lips and his eyebrows furrow together like he’s thinking. “Well, yes and no. I’ll be seeing you, and you’ll be seeing me, but neither of us is really going to be seeing each other at all. You will in a more technical way, you’ve got more time ahead of you, so you’ve got more time to spend it, but, I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer your question.”

Frank stares back at him, his face torn up in about as much confusion as it usually is in the middle of math class.

“I know that didn’t make any sense,” Gee replies, shaking his head, “And I’m sorry that I can’t be more clear, I just can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t jeopardize things. I have to make sure that everything goes a certain way. To answer the question though, I guess, no. You won’t be seeing me after Sunday. This will kind of be it for us, but you really shouldn’t get so down about that, because it’ll end up being a good thing.”

“So you’re just going to leave forever on Sunday?”

“I really don’t know what to tell you. Yes.”

“Well why? Like, what’s the point of having met me if you’re just going to leave me in a few days anyway? I mean, you’re the adult, you should be the one making sense, but nothing you say is remotely legible. What’s so special about Sunday?”

“It’s just this day that you’ll hopefully understand in the future.”

“You’re so fucking cryptic, it’s honestly so annoying,” Frank shakes his head.

“Yeah, sorry. You might grow to like that about me though,” Gee says, “I know that we always grow to like things about people if we spend enough time with them.”

“Yeah, but you’re only going to be here another three days, that’s literally no time at all to get to know you.”

“Well then just bear that in mind for your future acquaintances or your boyfriend.”

“You keep saying things like that like there’s actually any chance of me getting a boyfriend when I can assure you that there absolutely is not.”

Gee chuckles to himself lightly, “trust me, you have it in you to get yourself a boyfriend. I have my complete faith in you on that matter. It might take a while, a month or two, but I’m sure you’ll be able to win this guy’s heart.”

“And another thing, you keep talking about my invisible future boyfriend like he’s just one person, like, you only have the faith in me to get the one boyfriend,” Frank adds.

“Maybe I just think you’ll be able to snag someone and pin them down forever,” Gee says.

“I’m in high school, dude. No one marries their high school sweetheart, that’s a thing of myth.”

“I did,” Gee shrugs.

“Okay, well, you may have, but you’ve basically just proven that it didn’t work out given what’s just happened,” Frank says, referring of course to the fact that Gee is literally sitting on his roof after they just fucked, and he’s in nothing but a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants he borrowed off of Frank which are a little short around the ankles.

“No, it’s working out, I love him, like I said, it’s an intensively complicated dynamic.”

“I don’t get it,” Frank shakes his head, “it must be fucking complicated if you just had sex with me, but whatever.”

Frank doesn’t like the tone of his own voice. He doesn’t like the fact that he sounds jealous. He shouldn’t be the one who’s jealous. The poor sap that’s married to Gee should be the jealous one. Frank doesn’t care what he says, it doesn’t sound justified in the slightest to him.

“You sound jealous,” Gee says, and Frank turns a pinkish color at the fact that Gee picked up on that.

“No, I’m not. I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t completely understand it either,” Gee says, “hell, it took me about five years to believe any of this, and yet, I’m here now, so it’s just fact at this point.”

Frank wants to ask Gee about his husband, but he decides against it. That would be way too personal. He only barely knows this guy, he can’t just start asking about the guy who he’s having an affair with Frank for. Frank doesn’t get it, he doesn’t want to get it either. He supposes, if the marriage went rotten and Gee doesn’t want to admit to it, then it’s not really Frank’s fault, because he’s not the one who ruined it. If he’s the guy Gee had an affair with, that’s not really his fault either, because the marriage wasn’t working out anyway, this probably would have happened sooner or later. That doesn’t ease his mind in the slightest though. He still feels awful, because of the fact that he’s enjoying this.

He likes it. He likes Gee, he likes the way the guy kisses and he likes his stupidly cute face. He likes all of it and he knows that he should feel really bad about this because he might have ruined a marriage, but he’s not as torn up over it as he should be.

Still Frank’s not having an easy time at it, but he wants it to happen again now. He wants to kiss Gee again, and do outrageously R rated things with him, and he shouldn’t want that, because they’ve only just met, and this guy is married. That’s so many boundaries crossed already that Frank can’t uncross. Maybe that’s what makes him feel a little better about how he wants it all again. The fact that he can’t take it back just means that he’s doing no harm if he has the chance to do it again. And again. Maybe a couple more times after that too.

He thinks that the answer will just make him feel guilty so he’s going to decide that he doesn’t care. He’ll attempt it, but it’s not easy. He does care, and he wants to not, but there’s no point now, it’s too late. Everything in his head is just so muddled and thinking in too high a speed for him to come up with any real solution to this dilemma. He just knows that the damage has been done so he might as well fuck things up even more.

“Why do you have to leave then?” Frank asks, “On Sunday?”

“I just do,” Gee responds. “I can’t postpone it. It’s a set time when I have to leave, and when I’m gone, there’s no way for me to come back.”

“You’ll be okay though, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be perfectly fine,” Gee says, “everything will be alright, I just won’t be here.”

“Oh okay,” Frank sighs somberly.

“But I’m here now,” Gee says, looking back at Frank, blinking his eyes innocently. “For another two and a half days.”

“Yeah,” Frank nods, looking back and he seems to receive some sort of tacit understanding from Gee’s head, and really, he should just ignore the guy and walk away or push him off the roof or something, but Frank is really really attracted to this son of a bitch so he can’t really help himself. “Two more days, huh? Lots of things we could do with that time.”

“Loads,” Gee nods, “Got any ideas.”

“One,” Frank nods. He cannot believe that he’s actually receiving these signals from Gee again. It does not seem real. But, obviously, he can’t take anything back, so he might as well.

Gee smiles back at him with this really gorgeous look on his face that makes Frank’s heart jump in his chest. He can’t describe it really. Gee just has this impish little grin, like he’s plotting something, but it’s really cutting into Frank in a way he’s not used to. Whatever the hell it is that makes this guy so different is also the same thing that’s making Frank feel like he’s fallen into a story book for children. His biggest concern in this is that people in story books always fall in love in a matter of minutes with complete strangers. He’s starting to understand just how real that feeling can actually be.