Unmasked

Valerie's POV

"I'm bored." Those words were not something I said frequently. I thought them often, yes. But to admit them out loud was extremely rare.

"I'm sorry coming to the movies and eating popcorn isn't enough for you." Ava stated with a shrug, plainly showing she wasn't sorry and that she was getting off on my bored face. "You're pouting, it's cute. I'm taking a photo of this historical moment and hanging it on my wall."

"Do not." I warned when she went for the camera she seemed to carry everywhere. Damn you, Thomas, for giving it to her. "Thomas will have to get you a new one."

"You wouldn't." I would, but not to her. Ava kept on digging through her backpack—yes, she was carrying a backpack and not a purse—grabbing her Canon. "Pout!" she nearly yelled snapping a picture.

"Happy?" She nodded with a smirk, putting away the camera as we waited in line to buy tickets. "It's not that coming to the movies isn't fun, it's just that… It's summer. It's been almost three weeks since high school ended and nothing exciting has happened." Aside maybe from a stolen kiss.

"What do you deem exciting?"

"Finding out aliens live among us."

"Those expectations are a little high, my friend. I thought Gabriel said he bumped into you days ago—at some chique party?"

"My family was invited to a club opening. It was fancy and elegant. I got to wear an expensive dress and bumped into Sebastian. He was my date to Prom." I reminded her. "My father couldn't go, and Maria didn't feel comfortable going without him, so I went alone. I saw Gabriel for five seconds before a pretty girl walked by and he went with her." I shrugged.

"What about Sebastian? Did you guys…?"

I smiled knowingly, "No, Ava. We talked and hung out. Sebastian is the definition of golden boy, which is synonym for: uninteresting."

Ava shifted her backpack, looking down at me. She was crazy tall without heels. Those legs were the dream of any model. She was the one on the pouting side now.

"It doesn't sound like you had fun."

"I did and then I didn't." Spending my night talking about economics with cultured people—who assume I know everything about Dad's businesses—isn't my kind of night out. Especially since I could understand about ten percent of what they'd droned on about. "These parties are much more like business meetings, Ava. Thomas must have told you—hell, you must have gone through them when you were working at LOVET."

"Don't remind me." She blew out a breath. Sore subject alert.

"Exactly. I got used to them but they're much easier when my father goes, too. That's who the important people," I used air-quotes. "Want to talk to. I'm option number two. They spent most of the time nagging me with numbers and interesting locales to expand my family's territory." We advanced. Only two more people and we could buy tickets. Then another line for popcorn. Hurray!

Ava's expression became disgusted, "That's mind-numbing. I would've bailed. Seriously, I would've walked out."

"I can imagine you doing that." I grinned at the image of Ava doing a dramatic walk-out. "What have you guys been doing?"

"We've been working. It's not easy having to pay bills, cook, keep a bunch of plants alive and clean a house. Trip cleans the house, by the way." Ava shared with a silly smirk. "Sometimes he cooks. I'm teaching him that he can't just start cooking and then wander around the house doing God knows what and check on things twenty minutes later."

Ava bit her lip, debating some issue. Her brown eyes bore into mine. I knew that look, I learned to read it before Thomas and her got together.

"Is everything okay with you guys, though?"

"Yeah, things are nice. I… Sometimes I'm afraid, I guess. We're young, you know? And we're living together. It's crazy, really. Sometimes I worry about stupid things that I shouldn't, like… Trip is my first boyfriend—my first everything. I liked guys before, sure, but not like this and I want him to be the one—I know it sounds dumb. I know!" she sighed. "But he's really important to me. Trip came into my life and changed it. He… saved me, in a way."

Maybe because I was a girl or from all the years in therapy, but the issue she was trying to spit out became obvious to me.

"Sometimes you're afraid you'll get bored of each other?" I offered.

"Yes. They're random, intrusive thoughts. I hate them. Especially because I love him."

"It's okay, Ava. They're valid doubts and fears. You don't want to lose what you guys have, you want to know it's going to last—it's not dumb. Everyone would get an answer to those questions if they could, believe me. It would spare heartache and divorce."

"Sorry," she rubbed at her temples. "It's not like I have doubts about us now. I'm afraid of the future sometimes, that's all."

"I get it. But there's no sense worrying about the future, Ava. All you have is the present, you might not have tomorrow or two weeks from now because some freak accident happens and kills you." That was dramatic, but true. "The present is what you have and it's all you can enjoy. Just love Thomas day-to-day. Don't worry about loving him four years from now. Or if you'll get married and have babies."

Ava sprung forward and hugged me. Her arms wrapped me up and she smothered me against her chest. She was a lot stronger than she looked. The people who were buying tickets left, it was our turn, but Ava wasn't paying the line any mind. I tried cocking my head to the side, so she'd get a hint. I finally squeaked out her name. Ava pulled back beaming a embarrassed smile at the people waiting behind us and moved to the cashier.

After getting popcorn, we went into the movie room and sat down waiting for it to start. It was a comedy. I replayed what I told Ava. Thinking about what the future would be like? Thoughts like those plagued me for years after Mom died. What I told Ava were a recycled version of what Ms. Coleman told me several times. If she knew I was sharing her sage advice Lydia would've been proud and pushed a lollipop into my hand. I snuck a peek at Ava, she was looking down at her phone, probably texting Thomas. I felt more than slice of admiration for them. They were tremendously young and sharing a life most people decided on when they were in their thirties.

I sat through the movie chewing, laughing and getting shushed by Ava when I talked too loudly about corny sex jokes kids wouldn't get, like plenty of innuendos in Disney movies. When we left, Ava started talking about wanting to go somewhere outside the city.

"Like where?"

"I don't know. Trip and I decided we shouldn't go somewhere too expensive. The money we're earning is what pays for our bills, groceries and clothes. We never use his trust fund for anything." I could tell she wouldn't feel good about living off his money. I respected that, what they were doing. "Trip's family has a big country house, but he doesn't like it there."

"He's a fan of noisy places?" I gestured around the street.

"No, he really doesn't like being there—in that house." Ah, private matters. I took the hint and dropped it. "I thought you'd be on a paradise island by now."

It got lonely traveling alone. Sometimes I travelled to Monte Carlo and met equally rich, snobby kids—some weren't that stereotypical—and I had fun to an extent. Though, they weren't friends. They were acquaintances who worked as useful distractions. I sneered, Finn would love to hear those thoughts.

I pressed my lips. I hadn't seen Finn since he left my duplex and I hadn't talked to him since our call. I thought about him. It was hard not to, since we kissed on my bedroom floor.

"I have a lake house in Virginia. I haven't gone there in ages." Because after Mom passed away Dad refused to set foot in that house. "Dad still hires people to clean it every month or something."

She eyed me like a third eye had just popped up in the middle of my forehead.

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"I'm bored, Ava." There was that word again. Splendid. I tucked loose hairs behind my ears. "You want to go away with your Prince Charming and don't want to spend a lot of money. I want to… do something that doesn't involve socializing at parties where they talk about statistics and Wall Street bullshit I don't give a crap about."

"That would be great—you're being great, but… Just the three of us?"

Ah, yes. The third wheel scenario. I was getting ahead of myself in all the excitement that came with returning to the Monet lake house.

"We can invite other people." I suggested. "We know other people. Gabriel. Sebastian. Emma Byron—"

"Who?"

"Emma Byron. I met her through a friend of Maria's. I actually like her. We've been talking, and I went out with her last week, that was fun. Don't worry, she's nothing like Kelly or Brenda." Obviously, I was done with those types. Case and point: Ava. "Gabriel can invite his latest conquest or his next one. Do you want to invite anyone?"

Ava's face scrunched in thought.

"Finn? Thomas will want to invite him and he's like my closest friend besides you. Which sounds pretty lame." Ava made a dorky face. "Do you mind?"

I didn't answer right away. Partially because I'd been hoping Ava would suggest inviting Finn. I fiddled with the wrist watch concealing my scar, feigning disinterest.

"No, why would I mind Matthews?"

"You know why." Because we ended up yelling at each other. Or kissing, apparently.

"He keeps judging books by their covers." Ava slid me a speedy glance that read 'why do you care?'. I brushed it off with a superfluous huff.

"I did the same with Trip. It took me a while to see the real him, as cheesy as that sounds. And it was the same with you. I didn't like you when we met. With time, though, you dropped your guard and even stood up for me when Brenda degraded Thomas. You gave me advice and listened to me. Just like today." Ava made it sound like those things were otherworldly gestures. "I don't know when, Valerie, but you became my best friend." Ava mused.

I slammed the brakes and just stared at her. Chocolaty hair shadowed the side of her face, until she noticed I wasn't following and turned around, almost getting tripped by a dog's leash.

"I'm your best friend?"

Ava looked at me with big brown eyes.

"Yes." I didn't bat an eyelash, eyes fixed on her face. "I like spending time with you. I like talking about girl stuff with you. I think it's hilarious and ridiculous that you collect nail polish. I love your passion for art. I like how you're not afraid to stand up to anyone. I trust you, Valerie. So, yes, of course you're my best friend."

I trust you, those words rattled my skull.

"I've never been… anyone's best friend." I whispered under the street commotion, convinced Ava wouldn't hear me. Mom had been my best friend. Did that sound pathetic? Something stung behind my eyes, something hot. Do not cry out in the open!

Ava stepped up, grabbing my shoulders.

"Honestly, I'm not surprised. You're prickly with everyone else. How are people supposed to get to know you when all you show them is half of who you are?"

"Half?" I managed to get out, busy focusing on not allowing tears to leak; I didn't want to embarrass myself further.

Ava nodded very serious, but with kind eyes.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're an icy witch when you're pissed or when you want people to fall in line. You go in, yell, blackmail people and whatever else, and things work out." I swallowed. "But that's just half. Because there's kindness in you. Stop squinting at me! I have no idea why you hide it, Valerie, but I can give you advice: don't suppress yourself in any way. One day, you'll explode. Trust me." Those last words told me she was speaking from experience. I wanted to know what her deal was. I suspected it had something to do with her old modeling job. Instead of enjoying herself, she'd looked miserable whenever her career came up.

I reined in my emotions.

"Ava." I whispered in a light monotone.

"What?"

"Can we stop having heart-to-hearts in the middle of the street?" she dropped her hands. A sneaky grin shaped her features. "Thanks. It looked like you were about to kiss me. What if a paparazzi snapped a picture?"

"Trip would die laughing."

"I'm sure." We headed towards the subway station.

I broke the ice by talking about our lake house plans. I stifled the emotion stirring in my chest at the thought of finally going there—without Mom. Or Dad. Ms. Coleman would pat me on the back for taking a step forward in the 'healing chain' as she called it. As for Ava's advice, I filed it away in a mental cabinet to review later.

***

Dad was home tonight. We were in the living room. He was reading something on his laptop and I was texting an excited Ava. Apparently, Thomas loved the idea. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't Thomas' favorite person. I'd been working up the courage to tell my Dad the plan.

"Dad, I'm making plans to go to our lake house." I finally shared. "Is that okay with you?"

My father's head tilted the slightest, his eyes diverting to where I was sitting. I really think he was trying to discern whether I was mentally stable to embark on this journey to the past. Whatever he saw, he liked, because his lips tipped.

"That sounds like a great idea, Valerie. But you're not going alone." It wasn't a question.

"No, Dad. What fun would that be?" Dad scratched his chin glaring at something on his screen. I waited another minute. He didn't look up. I decided to carry on. He'd catch some bits. "Ava and her boyfriend want to go away, but they don't want to spend a lot of money. So I thought 'hey, we have a perfectly good house near an awesome lake, why not use it again?' and so the idea was born. I'm inviting Emma Byron, Gabriel Holland, Sebastian Hughes and Finn…"

Dad was suddenly very enthralled gazing at me and not at his computer. His undivided attention would normally be a blessing, but for some reason, I felt scrutiny coming off in waves from him.

"How many boys were in that list?"

"Hmm, three. Four, if you count Thomas." Dad kept on staring; one of his eyebrows puckered as if asking me to explain why I thought this was a grand idea. "Gabriel's going to take a girlfriend." If he came, he would take a girl—whoever she was. "Which makes me, Ava, Emma and Gabriel's girlfriend. Four girls. Four boys. Perfect balance."

"Right," Dad dragged out. "Wasn't Sebastian your date to Prom?" I nodded, yes. "And wasn't Finn the boy who took you out after graduation?"

"Yes, Dad. Is there a problem?"

"You're inviting both of them, sweetheart."

"I don't see what's wrong with that."

Dad waved a hand, "Well, in my head, when you're interested in someone you want to spend time with them."

"I'm not interested in Sebastian. He's very uninteresting." I sunk into our couch's fluffy pillows. They were filled with goose feathers. Catching my mistake, I added, "Finn is just a friend. Who also happens to be Thomas' and Ava's close friend."

My father didn't look convinced. His eyes darted back to the screen and I heard him type away.

"I think it's a wonderful idea that you're using the lake house. It's a great time, too, a cleaning team was over there not even a week ago. When are you planning on going? It's a shame Jackson isn't here, he would love to go with you guys." I made a face and was glad Dad didn't see. Not having to deal with Jackson was the best graduation present. "Have you been talking to him? Jackson mentioned he sent you photos and messaged you on Facebook, but said you're not responding."

Argh. Jackson was such a whiny tattletale! How had I felt attracted to him? There was nothing attractive—except for the face. Why must we indulge in being shallow? Then again, everyone was entitled to making mistakes and I made sure to terminate mine. Water under the bridge, as people say.

"I'm taking a break from social media. I want to center myself." Dad sent me a quick weirded out look. I shrugged dramatically. "What? I've been going to yoga classes. That's how uneventful summer has been." My father barked a laugh. "Dad, can you call Ms. Coleman and tell her I won't be attending for a week or so?" I wasn't sure she would buy it if I were the one calling. She'd have her secretary call Dad to confirm I wasn't playing hooky.

"Sure. Just tell me when you're leaving and how long you'll be gone. I'll get in touch with her then." Fantastic. I hopped off the couch.

Usually, I would want to stick around Dad. He was working, though and I wanted to plan this trip out. My stomach was squirming. Was this what excitement felt like? I rubbed my stomach. I plopped down on my feathery mattress and rolled onto my belly. I scrolled my contacts…

Finn.

Over the last weeks, I wanted to text him. But I hadn't. I wasn't sure what to say. 'Hello' would be a feeble attempt to start a conversation with a guy you'd already kissed... I tapped his contact and clicked on the message icon. I worried my lip—

I dropped the iPhone as it blared to life. I curled my fingers to stop myself from grabbing the white device. Against all odds, Finn's name was on the screen—he was calling me. My anxiety levels shot through the roof. It felt like someone carved into me and strung my stomach into tiny, tight knots.

Heart in my throat, I snatched the noisy thing.

"Hello?"

"Hi! Valerie, my name's April and Finn can't stop think—" I heard a hard smack and someone cursing under their breath.

"Okay…" I dragged out wondering if this had been a mistake…

"Valerie—hey, sorry about that. My sister got into my room. I had to kick her out." Oh. Right. April was his sister. I rolled onto my back trying to stop the pounding in my temples. "Ava invited me to a lake house? She said it was your idea."

"Yes. I was just about to send you a text, but Ava's all hyped." For real.

"She was very happy. Ava also said it's your place?"

"Yep."

"Okay, so… That's why I'm calling. Are you okay with me going?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because we aren't exactly friends and… we kissed." My lips twitched in response. There was a small sigh on Finn's side. "I haven't told anyone, I bet you haven't either. I wanted to make sure it wouldn't be weird if I went."

I sat up. I tucked my knees in and wrapped an arm around them. I wiggled my painted yellow-canary toes.

"If I minded, Ava wouldn't have invited you. We discussed the invite list."

"Oh," my eyebrows drew together at his unsurprised tone. Was Finn using Ava's invite as an excuse to call? Come to think of it…

"Your sister knows my name." I lowered my chin onto my knees. "How's that?"

Finn must've dropped on his bed because I heard a couple of squeaks. I blushed as photographic memory created an avid oil painting of Finn's bedroom. My treacherous brain went as far as to recall the smell of his aftershave—the one on his pillow. The blush grew ten shades darker.

"Because she's a sneaky little demon." I couldn't help it—I laughed. "You're laughing because you haven't met her. April has a degree on how to annoy me."

"I've been known to annoy you on various occasions. Maybe you have a type, Matthews." I only heard how the words sounded once they were out.

"That would make me a masochist." His voice was so quiet and low. So… intimate. Like he was whispering into the phone. "April was pestering me about the girl I danced with at Prom. I ended up giving away your name. It was a mistake."

A breath caught in my throat. I stared dead ahead at Mom's old record collection. Telling his sister my name was a mistake? I gripped the phone tighter. Should I be surprised? Three weeks ago, when we snuck out of his house, Finn was afraid Thomas might have seen us. My eyes dropped from the shelf to the floor—the spot where we had…

"Not a mistake," his voice came in my ear. It was louder, a little… uncomfortable? "I just—she teases me all the time now. And then my Mom joins in…" he trailed off, sounding strained. "I like privacy. Whatever I'm doing or who I am doing it with, is none of their business."

I could sympathize with being private about your life, I mean, just look at my affair with Jackson! Also…

"I wasn't aware that we were doing anything…?" I teased.

"I didn't say we were." I smiled to myself—a very stupid smile. "Who else is going? Ava mentioned Gabriel and whoever he was inviting…" I told him I planned on inviting Emma and Sebastian. And was met with incredulity: "As in your Prom date Sebastian?" I wavered. Maybe Dad was right—maybe inviting Sebastian wasn't such a good idea. I bottled-up a groan as the taste of Finn's mouth came barreling into me. "…it's your house, you can invite anyone you want."

"What?"

"Never mind. It's probably better if I don't go—"

"I want you to go!" I practically yelled into the large, empty room. Aghast with my outburst, I ran a hand through my longish hair. "There's nothing between Sebastian and me. He's not… He's just a good person and I think he could be a good friend. I don't have a lot of those… I'm trying to… I don't know." Why are you sharing that? Idiot! That was such a unlike-Valerie thing to say. No, not really. Only it wasn't an Ice Queen thing to say. Not allowing Finn a chance to speak, I carried on. "I want you to come. I was going to invite you, but Ava beat me to it. I was going to invite you first—not Sebastian. You."

"Really?" I couldn't read Finn's voice, but my instinct told me it was between bafflement and sweetness. Everything in me compressed at that last one.

"Yes. So, you better shut up and say you'll go, Matthews."

Finn chuckled.

"Wait. Do you want me to shut up or say I'm going?" I fumed shrieking into my hand—muffling the noise. "I'm sorry, am I annoying you?"

"You're unbearable."

"You can always hang up…" he suggested with a knowing undertone. My eyes narrowed. He could be so smug! I tipped back, ending up sprawled on my bed. "But then I'll need to come up with another excuse to call. It might take a while, though."

My mouth tugged at the corners, spreading into a grin. This time, I bit the inside of my cheek so that I wouldn't squeal like a thirteen-year-old talking to her crush for the first time. Good grief, I thought dejectedly, this whole thing is ridiculous. I reached behind—pulling a pillow underneath my head as I turned on my side, curling up with the iPhone.

"What have you been up to?" he finally asked, like he knew this—whatever this was—was hard on me. Matthews seemed apt at socializing. That thought led me to the box in his closet—with the swim team stuff.

Regardless of my curiosity, I kept quiet about Matthews' secret box and proceeded to share my boring three weeks of summer in great detail. Way more detail than Finn needed—I expected him to tune out at some point, like Jackson used to; at certain times, my ex would simply hum and nod at me as I complained or raved about anything that made me mad or passionate. Finn dropped a smart comment here and there, proving he was keeping up with everything leaving my mouth.

Hearing about my yoga mishaps made Finn burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"It's not funny!" In one of my first classes, my instructor made a joke about old ladies having less muscle cramps than me. I got four cramps in my left foot—all in one class. "I'm serious…! There's a sixty-year old grandma in my class and she laughed at me." if anything, that made him laugh harder and I think his phone fell—there was a soft thud followed by swooshing.

Still curled up, I rolled my eyes. Finn's laughter was loud and deep, it made me want to laugh too. More noise came—I heard faint chuckling noises before the line went quieter and I knew his cell was pressed at his ear.

"I'm never sharing yoga stories with you again."

"That's a shame, I was thinking about writing a book compiling all of those."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." I mocked dryly. "I would like to see you try yoga—any sport." I baited, daring him to slip up and say something about swimming.

"I can guarantee I wouldn't get those cramps." His scoff ended in a snicker. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't been doing anything exciting either. I've been lazing around the house, playing…"

"Darts?" I cut him off.

"No…"

"Video games?" I tried again.

"Yes." He confirmed. "It's bad form to interrupt someone, Valerie. I thought a lady would know that."

"It's bad form to laugh at people, Matthews. I think we're even." On the other end, he sniffed. "What about your bromance with Thomas?"

"It's not a bromance." I stifled a giggle at his gruff tone. "I've been hanging out with him at my Dad's garage—mostly. April's been getting out more than I have, which is just sad." I agreed. "Hey," he called sounding a little further from the phone or like I was on speaker. "We've been talking for half an hour and no cataclysm has happened."

A shiver rippled across my exposed skin. I was wearing sleeping shorts and a top. My stomach muscles flexed as I pulled myself up and stood; I grabbed the duvet and sheets, drawing them back so I could crawl inside where it was nice and warm—the last thing I needed was a cold.

"Give it five more minutes. I'm sure something will set us off on war paths." I snuggled into the soft lavender sheets, easing my eyes shut. I sighed contently—then reopened my eyes quickly, thinking how weird that must've sounded to him and—and maybe he thought I was doing something else. Something very different.

Before I could say words, my phone beeped. I drew it away, glaring at the screen. My messenger app was notifying me. Jackson was online and sending me stuff. I nearly sent the phone sailing across the room when I saw the proverbial: U up? displayed on screen. Was he serious? Huh, of course he was—he was Jackson!

"…did you fall asleep?" floated from my phone.

The good mood I experienced throughout our conversation evaporated. Leave it to my step-brother to ruin my life even when he was in another country. Moody as hell, I flopped on my back, glaring at the ceiling.

"Valerie?" Finn asked again—a little louder. I couldn't bring myself to respond. Another ping came from the app. My eyes scrunched against the incoming headache. I could mute the conversation. I heard Finn exhale on his end before terminating the call.

I felt angry. At Jackson. At myself. I'd been enjoying chatting with Finn. Jackson ruined it… But he also did me a favor—sort of. Because I hadn't known how to disconnect our call. It was also cowardly, and I didn't like it, because I wasn't a chicken. Clicking on the messenger app, I muted Jackson's conversation and put down my phone.

I tossed and turned for over an hour. I couldn't sleep. Was this karma for letting Finn think I'd fallen asleep? No, I thought recognizing the hot achiness between my thighs. I smoothed ebony hair from my face, relaxing into the mattress as I spread my legs and reached down with a hand. The last time I masturbated was… before graduation? It was long overdue. A soft cry escaped as I ran my fingers along the moist area—I bit my lip, exhaling through my nose as my heart kicked faster at the… at the thought of Finn's lips on mine. I could replay our brief make out perfectly—his voice after the kiss, so hot and… I moaned quietly, thinking about other things, other times; times when he looked at me with intense, mercurial eyes; times when he didn't put up with my attitude and looked so unbearably sexy telling me to shut up and—

I came hard. I clenched my teeth to keep the cry in, watering it down to silent whimpers. My muscles clenched and relaxed around my fingers as I rode my orgasm to a stop. I'd arched off bed and hadn't noticed—I was panting. Crap. That was… intense. Even now, my nipples were hard, poking at my top's material. I usually didn't play stuff out in my head, I just closed my eyes and got off. But thinking of Finn… I hadn't meant to, it just happened. Squirming out from under my covers, I shuddered at the unsteady pitter-patter in me chest.