Unmasked

Valerie's POV

I was going through highs and lows. First, knowing Finn didn't hate who I was. That was a very good feeling. Learning he'd been sneaking around because he thought I didn't want people to know hurt a little—at first—but I couldn't blame him for drawing that conclusion, right? I spent senior year pretending he didn't exist while walking the halls at St. Joseph, supposedly because of his scholarship status. Then there was our second time—I bit my lower lip, smiling anyway. The lows: I knew Finn was angry about leaving, but I didn't think he was mad about having to leave, per say. There was something more. I told him I wouldn't push, and I would keep my word, if he wanted to trust me, he could.

Last night, when our group finally docked, Finn announced he had to leave. Gabe said we should throw a big goodbye party—Gabe wanted an excuse to have a barbecue and pop open French Champagne; no one opposed the idea. It was a little nostalgic for me, since the only times I ate barbecue of any kind was when we—Mom, Dad and I—came here and Dad would cook.

I rubbed at my eyes, sleepy. It was so early, and I'd gone to sleep before everyone else, minus Finn. He'd turned in even before me. Yet, here I was, sitting on the hood of his Chevy. Waiting. Another ten minutes flew by; had he slept in? I pulled out my phone just as Michael Phelps Junior walked inside the garage. Finn drew up short.

"What are you doing here?" his voice was heavy, being used for the first time today. "On top of my car—"

"Relax, Finn. I didn't scratch your paint." I eased myself forward, jumping to the ground. I walked up to him. "Usually, when someone gets up at eight in the morning to see you off, you look happy and thank them. But if you want me to leave you and your car alone to make out…"

Gray eyes rolled at me.

"Thank you." he cleared his voice. "You didn't have to…"

I interrupted him, "I know, but I wanted to." Recognition dawned on Finn's face; he'd told me the same thing after my panic attack. "Did you have breakfast?" he nodded, closing the distance between us. He kissed my temple shortly before making his way to the back of his car. "Did you pack food?" I didn't want him to starve—possibly passing out at the wheel—because there were no places to eat along the road.

"Yep. I have fruit, a sandwich and chips."

"What about water?"

Finn drew out a large water bottle from the white bag, showcasing it for me with a grin.

"Anything else in your inventory?" I couldn't suppress a huff. Finn's fingers brushed black hair from my face; I looked at him. "I'm teasing. Thank you for worrying. It's… new. I like it."

Feeling stupidly inadequate at worrying, I drew closer to his body.

"Really?"

"Yes. What's not to like? A beautiful girl nagging me has been a long-time fantasy of mine." Finn shut the trunk; only the plastic bag hung from his fingers. With his free hand, Finn caught my right hand. His thumb rubbed my knuckles, "Thank you for being here. I never thought you'd do it. What time did you go to bed?" Finn stopped, eyes widening a bit. "Please tell me you actually slept."

I hid my grin well. Who was worried now? Finn was right, I did like him worrying.

"Yes, Matthews, I slept like a baby. I was tired, you know?" Finn gave his lips a quick lick. I knew yesterday's afternoon invaded his mind. "I went to bed an hour or two after you. Don't worry, as soon as you leave, I'm going back to bed."

Finn took me by the hand as he walked to the passenger's seat, opening the door and loading the plastic bag in. We ended up on the driver's side, Finn leaning against the car door, me leaning on him; my hands were planted on either side of his hips.

"I'll see you once you get back?"

"Yes." I answered too quickly. Maybe it was because Finn had knocked a wall loose yesterday or because it was too early to think as the Queen: I didn't care. "You'll text once you're home?"

"Yeah," he murmured, busily studying my entire face. "I'll call you. You—you can call me too, whenever you want. Okay?"

I shut my eyes, smiling.

"Okay." As my eyes slipped open, Finn kissed me; my eyelids fell shut again. Once we pulled apart, I walked for the porch. I watched him drive down, getting out to punch in the code. I hugged myself. These were going to be a long few days.

***

Finn's POV

I fell on my bed. Dead. All I wanted to do was shut my eyes and sleep fourteen hours straight. A hand searched for my phone; I found it in a front pocket. I forced myself onto my back, unlocking the screen to send a text to Valerie: Home, dead, going 2 sleep for a year. Her response was quick: I had no idea dolphins could hibernate same as bears? Fuck, that was funny. I couldn't even laugh—just smirk tiredly as my eyes slammed shut and my limbs sagged into the mattress.

I don't know what time it was, I just knew I wanted them to go away. I drove for eight hours and still hadn't slept enough. My karma points had to be negative, because the creaking door banged against the brick wall of my bedroom; I turned onto my stomach, muffling a groan into a pillow.

"Finn's home!" April. Argh. I needed to get earplugs.

"Go away." I threw over a shoulder, chasing my interrupted sleep.

There was another voice while I drifted back into a void, a calm existence known as I-don't-give-a-shit. The second time I woke up, my left arm was dangling off bed and my mouth was unbearably dry with a leftover taste of peperoni—my late lunch in the car. My brain was sluggish; I felt something hard… trapped under my torso. I flung my legs out of bed, sitting and glaring at the Samsung. I grappled with it while racking my hair, I sniffed. There was a text from Trip asking if I'd made it home alright. Faintly, I remembered sending a message to Valerie just before "dying".

"Four hours?" I mumbled under a breath. I needed more sleep than that, but something told me I wasn't going to get it until later. There was commotion coming from the living room. I texted Trip letting him know I hadn't been kidnapped. I roamed outside, rubbing a spot on my chest.

Mom was checking on something in the oven—it smelled like cake. I hoped it was chocolate. She pushed her glasses up her nose while turning to look my way; her eyes brightened.

"Sweetie!" I prepared myself as best as possible for Mom's infamous hug, but not all the preparation in the world could keep the air from squeezing out of my lungs. She took a step back pointing a finger at a large bowl with cake batter. "You're just in time to eat the leftover batter."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Mom." I could hear the annoyance in my voice; Mom could too, but said nothing, giving me a look. "No one was home when I got here." I tried for a conversational tone, trying to sweep my anger under the rug at Mom's overprotective streak.

"April and I went shopping. I wanted to make a cake for your aunt, you know how much she loves chocolate." Maybe I used to know, but five years was a long time to be away and my brain had needed space for other things, like math formulas and physics. "Your father called earlier, saying he was leaving the garage to pick up Becky from the airport."

"Is she staying here?"

"Yes, in Johnny's old room."

"So, you're not making Johnny come home?"

Mom fixed me with a disbelieving stare.

"Your brother lives in New Jersey, Finn. He can come and go." I knew that. I knew this was a stupid argument to make. "Don't pull this crap with me, Finn Matthews. Don't even think about being rude to your aunt when she gets here—are you listening to me?"

I pushed away from the kitchen island, grabbing a glass from a cabinet.

"Yeah. Whatever." That might have been a mistake.

"Whatever?" Mom shot back; she crossed her arms staring at me with deathly stoicism.

I forced water down my throat; it felt like I'd swallowed a porcupine.

"Yes, I heard you." I slammed the cup on the sink. My mother's eyes followed me across the kitchen as I opened the fridge.

"Why are you so angry about this? You loved your aunt, I thought you'd be happy…"

I whirled, banging the fridge's door.

"This isn't about her! This is about you. You, mom! You're a control freak when it comes to me—this was your excuse to get me home. You want to keep me on a leash to make sure I don't go crazy and beat someone to death." I managed to lower my voice at the end. I heaved a suffering sigh. "I don't have an anger management problem, but the way you treat me—ever since that day… it's fucking suffocating, okay?"

Mom was shocked into silence because she didn't yell at me for using the F word.

"I went to those meetings for two years. I gave up swimming. I applied myself in school. I did everything people asked me to do. Everything you asked me to do. Because I hate you worrying over me."

"I'm your mother, that's my job."

"You're taking it too far!" I exploded. "Nothing is enough to reassure you that I'm alright. And I can't take it anymore."

There was silence as a door creaked. I followed the sound, momentarily stunned. April was leaning on her bedroom's threshold, unsure of what to say. Finally, she managed to articulate words.

"Why… are you guys fighting?" I knew my sister well enough to know she'd been listening to music and drawing until our screams—my screaming—reached her.

"It's nothing." Mom answered quickly, like she was playing a lightning round on a game show and this was the million-dollar question.

April's eyes paved their way to mine.

"That didn't sound like nothing…" she mumbled, hesitant.

I pinched my nose, shutting my eyes against an incoming headache.

"Mom's right, it's nothing." I wrenched open the fridge, stealing a pudding; I grabbed a spoon before making my way to my bedroom. Ignoring the massive tension wafting from Mom.

I locked the door and dropped in my beanbag, fuming. I tore the flan open. I couldn't believe I let myself go like that. As I stabbed the hell out of the pudding, I reached into my jeans' pocket; I promised her I'd call, and I wanted to talk now—not really about what happened, more like I wanted to hear her voice and get my head somewhere else. I had to wait 'till the fifth ring but Valerie's voice came at me like a breath of fresh air.

"I thought you were going to sleep for a year?"

"It turns out dolphins can't hibernate like bears. Not enough fat reserves."

"I'm so sorry you had to find out this way…"

"I'm a big boy, I can deal." I frowned at the sound of running water. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a bath in my large bathtub fit for more than one person."

I paused, "Naked?"

"Yes. Isn't that how one bathes?"

"Yeah," I choked out, glad I didn't have chocolaty pudding in my mouth. I grabbed my headphones, connecting them to my phone and plugged them in my ears; I kept my phone balanced on my leg. "Did you guys eat already?" the answer was no.

"What are you doing?"

I scooped the remaining pudding and shoved it in my mouth.

"Eating pudding." I said around the mouthful. There was a snigger on her side. I swallowed. "My aunt hasn't arrived yet. My Dad's going to pick her up and Mom's baking a cake." Valerie had to be moving around, I heard water sloshing. "Do you want to talk later? Or tomorrow?" I was fully aware she couldn't dunk her phone underwater without wrecking it, which meant she couldn't wash herself. My cheeks tinged pink as creative imagery of Valerie naked in that round tub came alive behind closed eyes. I kept a groan under wraps.

"No this—it's fine. I do this to unwind."

"You mean like… you use bath salts and stuff?" that was such a Queen Bee thing to do; a grin found its home on my face despite it.

"Yeah." She laughed softly. "I'm surprised you know about bath salts."

"I live with two women. Are you sipping wine?"

"What? No, that would be such a cliché." At her distaste, my grin widened; I could picture her small nose crinkling like a bunny's. "I'm eating marshmallows."

"Seriously?"

"I wouldn't lie about something so sacred, Matthews." There was a warmth in her voice whenever she said my name now—either my first or last name. I eyed the empty plastic cup, thinking… "Nooo!"

I jolted, shoulders squaring in concern.

"What?" I gripped the phone.

"A marshmallow fell in the water…" she whispered sadly. My chest deflated as a shuddering breath left me.

"Jesus, Valerie." I muttered to the side, muffling the words with a hand. "I had no idea of your devotion to marshmallows. It's a little unsettling."

"Because being obsessed with an arcade game isn't?" that shut me up. "That's what I thought."

We bantered back and forth about small, ultimately unimportant things in the big scheme of life. It was easy to get lost in her voice and her occasional string of laughter. I liked hearing those sounds, but her laugh was especially intoxicating because it felt… genuine. Childlike. Matching that sporadic smile, I'd seen on her face when she was drunk. Once we hung up, because Valerie couldn't soak in a tub for another half hour, I felt lonely. I didn't need a genius to spell it out: I was lonely for her.

Seeing as we wouldn't be in each other's presence until the end of the week or later, I told myself to suck it up like a big boy. For now, I needed to calm down when it came to Mom and get myself in a decent mood for when my aunt got here.

***

Aunt Becky was different. Which was to be expected, I mean… after five years people changed. Memories about my aunt were of a young woman wearing jeans and baggy sweaters. Now, she was wearing a summer dress and sandals; she looked nice, her nose was still a bit large for her oval shaped face and her blond hair was darker, with bright-brown highlights. Last night, I barely talked to her, but Becky had been tired as hell, same as me, so, we ended up going to bed roughly at the same time. Today, we were having lunch together—all of us, Johnny and his future wife included—at a restaurant my older brother booked.

"…I was really surprised when your Dad told me you quit the team." Aunt Becky reached for a sushi roll-up with chopsticks. She didn't see my face falter or April's sudden stiffness; our aunt didn't know about the incident. "I thought you were going to the Olympics."

Johnny chuckled at that.

"He never had that amount of discipline." I sent a dirty glare his way.

I wanted to explain that I found a new religion in exact sciences and a love for computing and engineering, but it was too damn hard. I couldn't discard my love for swimming like that. I pushed a dumpling around my plate.

"Before Finn's senior year, his guidance counselor talked to us about a scholarship at St. Joseph. It's a private school with great ratings, it's known for opening doors to Ivy league colleges. But the only sports for boys were lacrosse and basketball." While girls got swimming and field hockey. "Finn thought it would be better to apply himself in academics, rather than sports." Yeah, after a guy named Aiden awakened a murderous rage inside me. I was thankful for Mom's little white lie, though. Neither I or April wanted people to know the truth.

"As long as you're doing something you like." Becky shrugged; I sent her a quick smile. "What colleges did you apply…"

"I got an internship!" April to the rescue. My aunt was taken back by her younger niece's squeal. "It's just a summer thing, but it's a pretty big indie brand and I'm really excited because if they like me, I can stay there—working as an intern."

"Oh my God! That's huge!" Aunt Becky was the sort that gave you a high-five like a twelve-year-old; good to know some things didn't change. "Hey—remember that portrait you gave me before I moved? I framed it! I hung it in my living room. Halley loves it." Halley was her girlfriend.

"When are we going to meet her?" Dad asked.

"She was going to tag along but she got a freckin' stomach virus. There was no way she could handle a twenty-hour flight like that…" Aunt Becky's eyes swung to my brother and Carly. "I really wish I could be here for the wedding, guys. My vacation time was non-negotiable, though." She worked for one of the largest telecommunication companies in Australia.

After we left, I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I resisted checking it; the last thing I needed, were assumptions on my love life. It wasn't until we made it back to our loft that I let myself check. I was sitting on the couch; my aunt was on her own phone and April was in her room; Mom and Dad had gone back to work.

How can u eat fish? Your brothers and sisters? GASP!

My mouth stretched in a wide grin; I guess me being a dolphin had officially turned into a running gag. It was my fault for telling her we were eating sushi. I was in the midst of thinking of a smartass reply when my aunt called my name. I lifted my head; she smirked.

"Talking to your girlfriend?" I squashed the groan fighting its way out of my mouth. "I know that face. Don't bother with 'it's just a friend' excuse. I grew up with your father and none of his excuses ever stuck."

I stared at her long and hard. Aunt Becky got up from her spot to come over and sit beside me, expecting me to pour my heart out. Something I wouldn't do.

"Come on!" she nudged my shoulder. "I haven't seen you in ages! Except for the photos your parents send me. Your brother and Carly are tying the knot, April is ditching school for a career as a designer—" apparently that was public knowledge now. "I want to know about you. What's going on in your life? Besides going to college. Because let me tell you, college is overrated." Good to know, I thought dryly.

"I don't…" I started.

"Finn, I'm leaving in two days. Plus, if you think I can't keep a secret, you're wrong." I tried to push my mind back—to before aunt Becky moved. She'd qualified as the cool aunt, sure, but not because she'd let you drink beer before you even turned sixteen—no. She'd been the person to talk to when I didn't want to talk to my parents or Johnny, because I never bothered April with anything; not because she was the baby, but because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. Maybe if aunt Becky still lived here three years ago… Maybe she would've talked to Mom about anger management. But she hadn't been around and what happened, happened. Couldn't be undone. "You were always a brooding type of kid."

"I'm not brooding, Valerie!" I slapped a hand over my mouth. Like a kid who'd just been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. I exhaled slowly, meeting my aunt's eyes.

"Valerie? That's your girl's name?"

"She's not…"

"You just screamed at me—thinking I was her. Which is a little disturbing. Unless she looks like me… Okay, no. that would still be a wee bit disturbing."

"She doesn't look like you. She just… Fuck."

"Huh-uh. I also won't tell your parents about swears. I'm guessing she says you brood?" I clenched my jaw; Becky chuckled. "Blimey, Finn! Why are you so uptight about this?"

"It's my personal life." I stole a glance at April's door; it was shut. "And I live with an annoying little sister and an ex-hippie mother. One annoys me, the other plans out my wedding with any girl I show interest in."

"Hmm, gotcha. I can't really blame you. It's not like I told my mom who I was dating. Which would've been awkward, since I didn't come out until after high school and by then I was living in a different state to attend college." My aunt looked lost in thought for a minute. "I take it no one in this apartment knows about this girl?"

"No," I said with reluctance. "We're not… together. We're…"

"In an open relationship?"

"No," I frowned deeply. "We're seeing where things go. Taking it slow, I guess."

"You like her, then?"

"I wouldn't mess around with her if I didn't."

"That's adorable." I threw her a look. "No, really. I remember your father being very different in that department. He was a heartbreaker since kindergarten, no joke. It wasn't like he cheated, he just… jumped from girl to girl. At one point, our father wanted to drive him to a clinic to get him tested for aids." Okay. I didn't need this much information on Dad. "Then your Mom came along. He had to chase her for three months until she finally agreed to go out." I'd heard that part from my parents; Dad's cheeks would go bright red every time Mom brought it up. "It sounds like Valerie gets under your skin."

"She's definitely good at that." I muttered. "She's into art—like April. Her paintings are beautiful."

"How did you two meet?"

"We both went to St. Joseph. We have mutual friends and so… we were kind of forced to coexist." My aunt raised an eyebrow. I gave a lopsided smile. "We argue a lot. It's getting better, though." Aunt Becky wanted to know more and for once, I unloaded. It was easier because she wouldn't stick around or go spreading this to the four winds. I told her about Valerie's bossy attitude and about her strange collection of nail polish; I didn't say anything about Valerie's Mom or her issues, that was mine to keep.

"Is she hot?" Becky blurted.

I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I glanced to the side, silently hoping my aunt wouldn't ask if we'd done it. I turned to Becky with a barely concealed blush.

"Yeah—yeah, she's super hot."

April's door pried open. I relaxed into the couch as my little sister sauntered over with a block of drawings, stealing my aunt's attention from me. Aunt Becky gave me a quick wink before becoming immersed in April's many designs. It was just as well, I still needed to answer Valerie.