Echoes

Warm sand scratched her bare feet, slipping between her toes. They were freed once again as she wiggled them. Scarlett stole a glance back at the loft she'd rented by the beach. The lights were off but only moments ago she'd been inside. After she'd hung up with Tony she'd turned off the phone and hid it in her bedroom. Then she'd slipped a bathing suit on beneath the sundress she'd already been wearing and headed back onto the beach.

There was a chill to the wind, but not so much that it was uncomfortable. Lights twinkled far down the beach to the south. Someone was having a party there. Scarlett couldn't help but wonder what it was like. There had been a time where she would have joined them, invited or not, and would have had the time of her life.

It seemed immature to do that now. The waves caught her eye again, rolling in consistently, the water getting closer and closer with each wave that fell as the tide rolled in. Soon it would reach her feet and the sand would be washed away.

Scarlett wouldn't be having anymore beach parties. Leaning against her knees she heaved a sigh. A forlorn sort of whimper escaped her lips as she thought about the ocean. She'd never gotten to go back to Japan to see an old friend like she always said she would.

There were a thousand things Scarlett had been waiting to do until her life was less dangerous. That would never happen now. She'd never see Paris. Something in her chest ached and she thought again to the side effects she'd been experiencing. Chest pains hadn't been on that list, at least not yet. Besides, it wasn't that kind of pain.

It was an ache, an emptiness.

Scarlett had told herself she'd go to Paris someday just to enjoy the beauty of it, not for a job. Would it be silly to request with S.H.I.E.L.D. that they could let her move there? Running her hand through her hair she tried to push those dark thoughts away. Never had she thought so much of dying before. Even when she'd flirted with the notion it had never scared her like it did now. Amazing how one bad doctor's visit could change her whole life. Even bloodied, tortured, actually near death had somehow been easier than this. She didn't feel like she was dying. Part of her knew she wouldn't until she was knocking on death's door. Illness. What a way to go. A bullet to the head was almost preferable.

She'd never loved anyone, not really.

It seemed a petty thing to want to experience now. Scott had wanted to love her and look how that panned out. Love was something Scarlett didn't deserve at this point. Hadn't she thrown love away? There had always been time for that later in her mind.

Now it was later and there was no time left.

It turned out that Scarlett had never enjoyed life. That was a tough realization to come to but it was the truth nonetheless. Ever since she was a kid she'd spent her days breaking rules, pushing limits, getting into trouble. Sure, some would say she really lived, but had she? What did she have to show for it now when it mattered?

Money, of course.

But money wasn't giving her any happiness now that she really needed it. Never had she felt such despair over anything, not even when she'd been younger and more irrational than she now was. Scarlett had no one. She had Natasha, of course, but even that was more of a contractual obligation than anything else. As petty as it seemed, Scarlett would have given everything up not to feel alone.

Even that was something she had no right to anymore. With a grunt she flopped back onto the hard sand and stared at the sky. It was purple above her and orange and pink still over the water. The sky was beautiful. Nature was beautiful.

Scarlett couldn't be so selfish that she could involve anyone in her drama. Tony, however, seemed to want to weasel his way right into it. Of all the people in all the world, she had never expected to want Tony Stark to be a part of her life. Yet there she was selfishly wishing she had a little more time, a little more hope. If she could go back and do it all again, she wasn't sure what she'd do.

Regret after regret weighed her down, crushing her. Her breath fell short and she found that she was nervously chewing her lip.

"God damnit." Scarlett cleared her throat and leaned her head to the side. There were cliffs in the distance to the north. They were menacing but oddly beautiful. She'd been told that area had been privately owned and it was why she had no neighbors. She was alright with that. It made it easier for her to keep an eye on her surroundings.

How long could she really lay there moping? There was no time to feel sorry for herself and yet for the first time in her life, she selfishly wanted to. Scarlett had always embraced whatever fate had become of her with open arms but this all seemed grossly unfair. She'd never been a good person, she knew that, but she'd never been a bad person either. It wasn't always easy but she'd tried to do the right thing. Sometimes there was no right or wrong, just the lesser of two evils. She'd never been afraid to do what was necessary. Always she had thought that the reason heroes didn't always win was because they weren't willing to go to the same extremes that villains went to.

Was that what had done her in? Is that what she had done to deserve this? Her past was drenched in blood and heartache and never had that once bothered her. Not until now.

"You have got to stop being so damn wishy-washy." Scarlett swatted at the sand that flew every which way and then looked back toward the sky. It was breathtaking. The sky was clear and the stars were just beginning to show in the dark purple to the east. There was still a chance, a very slim chance, that she would be just fine and that all this moping was pointless.

Still, she couldn't help it. Scarlett was pretty smart. She knew what her odds were and she wasn’t the type to hold onto blind faith. Sometimes she wished she was.

There was a soft shuffling in the sand a ways behind her. It grew closer and Scarlett smiled inwardly. Those dark thoughts drifted from the forefront of her mind. So much time had passed that Scarlett wasn't sure if Tony was actually going to find her or not. Her hat was lying on top of the wine glasses she'd taken from the loft, waiting.

Finally he stood next to her and clicked his tongue in disappointment. Scarlett glanced up at him and smiled curiously.

"Not what I expected."

"Hmm?"

"No two piece?" Tony walked around her and set down the bottle of wine in the sand but only for a second. Scoffing in disgust, Scarlett kicked sand at Tony who recoiled and laughed before pulling a folded up corkscrew from the bag and starting to open the bottle of wine.

"A sundress isn't good enough for you?"

"Let me see how short it is before I decide." Tony joked and then ran out of range as she kicked sand at him again. "No more! You're going to taint my wine."

"How'd you find me?" Scarlett sat up and stretched, arching her back and curling her toes in the sand.

"It was no big deal." Tony couldn't help but think she looked sad. It could have been in his head, he could have been seeing what he wanted to see, but he got the distinct feeling that she was off. Maybe tonight he could finally ask her what's going on. There was so much to her story that he didn't know and he was tired of being in the dark. Then again, if she kept arching her back like that in the sand he could be sufficiently distracted all night long.

"Bullshit." Scarlett scoffed, leaning on her side to watch him. As Tony pulled the cork from the wine bottle it made a satisfying pop! Scarlett pulled out the wine glasses from beneath her hat and held them out to him after unwrapping them from the dishtowel she'd secured them in.

"It was just a simple matter of trying to triangulate your position from the signal I'd received from your phone." Tony cleared his throat and poured himself a glass of wine. Then he examined it in the fading light of the day and made a sound of approval.

"And when that didn't work?" Scarlett held up her glass so Tony could fill it and saw a smile on his lips.

"Well, then I checked out lofts for rent in the area and narrowed it down to beach front property." Tony poured the wine slowly into her glass. "Say when." She nodded as he poured. "Then I changed distance to those just far enough away from my place that you'd have an excuse to go home but still close enough that the commute wouldn't be inconvenient." Scarlett nodded for him to stop pouring wine. "That good?" She nodded again and then took a sip of the wine and smiled. It really was good wine. He knew his vineyards.

"Then what?"

"Then I used my best judgment. Lo and behold I took a guess and found you." Tony couldn't help but smile. "To be honest I looked at the listings and thought… which would I rent?"

"I can't tell if I'm insulted or not." Scarlett chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair to shake out the sand. Tony offered his hand to help her up. Usually it was something Scarlett would ignore but for once she took it. Then she got to her feet and dusted off the sand, placing her hat back atop her head so it wouldn't be forgotten.

There was very little light of the day left and yet just enough to shine on Tony. He really did come in a swimsuit and a black t-shirt that just hid the light of his arc reactor enough to keep from illuminating the beach. He looked happy and handsome, well manicured as ever and oozing confidence. But there was something behind all that and it shook Scarlett. He was nervous.

"I'm sorry about Pepper." Tony began gingerly. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the mood. Scarlett seemed oddly pliable and he was going to take advantage of it. Not so much pliable, he considered, as she seemed in need of something. Instantly his mind dove into the gutter, knowing just what she could be in need of. Realistically he knew it was something more than a carnal desire but rather some sort of emotional ache. "I'll get it all sorted out before we go back there."

"It's really okay." Scarlett secured the hat on her head and smiled. "This wine more than makes up for it."

"She's just jealous, really." Tony felt the need to explain even though he really didn't have to. "Things aren't so great between us right now and I think she's looking for reasons to be upset."

"So why do you stay with her if she's mistreating you?"

"I didn't say that!" Tony widened his eyes and nearly choked on his wine.

"You didn't outright say it but…"

"What? Tell me."

"I'm pretty sure that's why you called me that night. It was her. Not me." Scarlett cleared her throat and Tony stood dumbfounded. Very rarely was he left speechless by anyone but Scarlett had hit the nail on the head. Was he really that transparent? He thought he'd put a pretty good front. If Scarlett could see so much truth dripping off of him why was it that the others around him couldn't? People he knew for years were fooled by him on a daily basis.

"Pepper's a good woman." Scarlett nodded her head and started slowly walking north on the beach, letting her toes squish between the warm sand. It felt oddly comforting. "A strong woman too. Pretty smart from what I know. I think she means well."

"Wow." Tony cleared his throat and slowly meandered after Scarlett. "That's not what she says about you."

"Ah, you see, there are very few women who say anything nice about me these days." Scarlett laughed. "You'd be surprised how many people believe what they read. Even people who claim not to… it has an effect. Especially with women."

"It sure had an effect on me." Tony teased.

"The point is that you deserve to be happy, Tony." Scarlett stopped walking and turned to face him. "I know you were a scumbag at one point but still, you deserve happiness as much as everyone else."

"A scumbag? That's harsh."

"Let me finish."

"I just want to know why you chose scumbag, of all the words."

"Do you really want to get into that right now?"

"A little bit." Tony sounded defensive, but honestly he just wanted to get off of the topic of Pepper. Scarlett was hitting so close to the truth that it was hurting him. The last thing he wanted was to panic in front of her or worse, spill his guts. What if he told her everything? If he laid it all on the line, told her that he'd been convinced he was going to die, then when he'd come back he realized he had. Not in the actual literal sense, but he'd locked himself away so completely that he may as well not have been breathing. What if he told her that and she comforted him?

Suddenly he wanted that.

"Regardless you've really made amends for all that. It's clear that you deserve happiness."

"I'd like to think so." Tony chuckled and then scratched his head. "You really thought I was a scumbag?" Scarlett nodded and sipped at the wine. She didn't want to drink too much, not because she actually didn't want to but rather because she knew what kind of trouble she could get into if they drank too much. "Ouch."

"It's not like that."

"It sorta seems like that. No wonder you turned me down."

"That wasn't why!"

"You don't have to sugar coat it, Damien, I can see it all over you. You thought I was a dirtbag!"

"I still think you're a pig if that helps."

"No! It doesn't help!" Tony laughed.

"I really thought ill of you way back when. Honestly, even just a year ago if you had asked me to work with you I probably would have ranted and raved about what an evil corporation you ran and what a selfish life you lived."

"Wow, this just keeps getting worse."

"I've always worked with other scientists, other engineers on and off. So many of us thought you were a joke. We weren't sure what was coming from you and what came from the people you hired. Yes, we know you're a genius. That's obvious. But… all the press. Like I said, it has an effect, even on those of us who usually don't judge from those sorts of things. I guess it's why I understand how Pepper feels." Scarlett hoped she hadn't crossed a line. This was the most she'd been honest with anyone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. in a very long time. Somehow it felt very dangerous to be so very honest, but Scarlett didn't want to lie to Tony.

"I'm not really that surprised. Most other scientists felt that way until they met me."

"Even after everything you went through. When I watched you change in the media, most of it felt staged. I had a really hard time believing it was true." Scarlett couldn't stop smiling despite it all. At first the truth had felt vulnerable now it felt good.

"So what changed your mind? You've been pretty good to me even after I broke into your office."

"I met you." Scarlett nodded simply.

"Just like that? You changed your mind? All you had to do was meet me?"

"Sure did." Scarlett knew that wasn't the truth and her smile slowly fell away. It wasn't at all why she knew he'd truly changed. It wasn't that simple. Change didn't just happen that way. Scarlett knew it was possible because she'd had to change just as drastically. It was harder than people realized, becoming a different person and it rarely happened without necessity behind it. Tony had become a different person because life had forced him to face his demons. Scarlett's had finally caught up to her and were dragging her slowly into the mud. Part of her wanted to say it out loud.

Just tell him, she thought.

She didn't have to reveal anything, not really. All she had to say was that she could understand how he changed after such a trauma because she had done the same. She wanted to tell him how much she admired the good he had done with the hand that had been dealt to him. Yes, he had been a scumbag and even had been guilty of some terrible things but instead of wallowing in self pity he'd built some good from it. His energy research was going to change the world. Tony Stark really was saving the planet.

Scarlett had objected to Refuge at first. The more she thought about it the more it scared her. The limelight was never where she'd preferred to be. Shadows were more her scene, they always had been. As time had passed, Scarlett knew she had little time left and if she could do some good with her talents then she would risk it. Then Refuge had been born and suddenly it'd become her cause. Yeah, she still hated being all over the media but Scarlett had adjusted.

In a way, she thought it could be what made her so drawn to Tony Stark, besides the obvious.

Could she really tell him all of that without telling him about her past? There was no way. He'd want to know what she did in the shadows. He'd want to know why she was suddenly changing into someone she never had been. The truth was too much, too big a burden to give to Tony Stark. The man was going through so much without all her baggage on top of it. He deserved more than that. He deserved for someone to unburden him, not make it worse. Everything about Scarlett would make it worse.

"Scarlett?" Tony thought she was going to say something but instead she just avoided his eyes. "Scarlett?" He said more seriously as silence continued. When she didn't respond he tilted her chin toward him to force her attention. She'd slipped away somewhere and it partially scared him. Something was wrong with her and it wasn't just in his head anymore.

There was a sudden whirlwind of emotion in those stormy blue eyes that were usually filled with such intrigue and danger. Now they were filled with something else. Scarlett wanted to tell him something, she was struggling with something deep and emotional. He was right when he'd said she'd been lost.

"Hmm?" She glanced back up at him again, regretting looking right into those brown eyes, dripping with honey. He was reading her like a book and she had to stop it from happening. But how? God, she never should have taken this job. She never should have come to Malibu. This was a disaster. It was too much.

"You look sad." Reluctantly he pulled his hand from her cheek where he'd accidentally allowed it to rest. Her skin was cold, not what he'd expected. Immediately her demeanor changed and Scarlett perked up with a smile.

"No way!" Scarlett laughed and spun around to face the water, allowing her feet to dip into the very edge of the waves that rolled up. "Look at this place! How could I be sad? It's gorgeous here."

"Are you sure…" Tony almost discarded his glass of wine. If Scarlett needed someone to lean on he wanted to be that person. Never before in his life had he felt the need to care for someone the way that he wanted to for Scarlett. Partially it was selfish. He wanted to know all about her, she was interesting. Then he wanted to return the favor she'd so selflessly done for him.

If she could need him the way he had needed her it would have been beautiful. A beautiful disaster maybe, but one worthy of a memory.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm… pretty jetlagged. It's been awhile since I traveled so far and it got to me. I feel like I've been awake for eternity!" Scarlett laughed and as she turned back to him she managed to keep up the façade. Tony didn't fall for it, not this time. Underneath everything, the happiness that seemingly radiated from her, the confidence she oozed with, he could see it. Something was eating away at her from the inside out. It wasn't in his head, he'd always seen it. For awhile he'd second guessed that it could be in his imagination but now he knew for sure it wasn't.

Scarlett was absolutely hiding something and not just from him. He was almost sure she was hiding it from herself.

"Travel's a bitch." Tony nodded and shook the bottle of wine playfully before taking a sip from his glass. "Come with me, I want to show you something." Tony started north in the sand along the water toward the rocks in the distance.

"Where are we going? That's private property. Pretty sure this is trespassing."

"Just trust me."

"That's a tall order!"

"If I'm wrong I'll give you another bottle of this wine. Come on, it'll be worth it. I want to show you something."

"I thought you were bringing the suit to look at."

"That was a joke. It's parked."

"Alright." Scarlett adjusted her hat, took a long sip of her wine and then started after him in the sand. As much as she'd resisted the idea of alcohol she couldn't stop drinking it either. "Lead the way, Stark."