Echoes

"Slow down, Stark!" Scarlett felt her chest constrict as she followed after Tony who was practically jogging in the sand nearer and nearer to the rocks no longer in the distance. They'd been traveling for what felt like miles, walking at first slowly and chatting while they exhausted Tony's bottle of wine. As time passed, Tony grew more excited about their destination, wherever it was, ditched the empty bottle of wine in the sand along with his shoes and urged Scarlett to move faster, sometimes even running around her to try and drag her into the water.

"No!" Tony turned and stuck his tongue out at her. Scarlett laughed, but could feel the exhaustion hitting her like a ton of bricks. This was the first time that the fatigue and shortness of breath people kept telling her about was actually noticeable. Even while exercising Scarlett had managed to stay completely normalized but now after an hour of walking in the sand with Tony she could feel the tightness in her lungs. The saliva in her mouth became thick and difficult to swallow and she found that she had to clear her throat far too frequently. Soon throat clearing became coughing and there was little hiding it.

Usually the coughing fits were very sudden. Never before had they limited her in such a way, at least not since before she'd approached S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Seriously, Tony?" Scarlett gagged then coughed and stopped along the shore. Her feet were covered in sand, half soaked from Tony's near successful attempt to drag her into the water. She took the last sip from her wine glass before gingerly placing it in the sand. On the way back to her loft she'd retrieve it, if she remembered by then. Tony had long since ditched his glass after finishing his wine and it seemed to give him renewed energy. Wine had only managed to make Scarlett sleepy. Besides that, it kept repeating on her. It was possible wine was going to have to be off the menu for a little while after this. The sun had set and all that illuminated the night were the stars above and the lights from the road in the distance. It was hauntingly beautiful.

"Keep up, Damien!"

"I'm exhausted, Stark!" Scarlett hurried after him in the sand, but her feet were beginning to numb. This wasn't something she could keep up for much longer. She needed a break. Thankfully the rocks weren't that much further and he would run out of places to lead her. Unless he wanted to climb them and she wouldn't think that was very funny. The walk back was something she had instantly begun to dread the moment her lungs had begun to ache. Hell, she was feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Or maybe it was the wine, Scarlett didn't like it either way.

"You can't fool me, I can tell you're in damn good shape! Come on!" Tony walked backwards, a wide smile plastered on his face as he slowed just enough in hopes of allowing her to catch up. His excitement hadn't faded, in fact it had only grown the closer he'd gotten to his special place. It was luck that Scarlett had chosen this particular loft to rent for her stay in Malibu and he was going to take advantage of it. Hell, he'd nearly forgotten about the place until he'd found her.

"I am jet lagged!" Scarlett would have to stop using that excuse eventually but it was the best thing she could come up with when her ears were ringing and her head was spinning. Finally, as her feet crashed onto the sand, she thought her legs might give out. Instead of arguing with him she held up her hand and leaned the other onto her knee so she could focus on breathing. For a brief second she saw stars and at last she had to break up the mucus building in her throat, in her lungs.

The cough filled her chest with pain, racked her stomach and what came out was just as awful as expected. As she sat there coughing, catching her breath, she could think of at least ten other excuses for her lack of stamina. She had a cold, she was getting over a cold, it was sinuses, the humidity was getting to her. No. She'd gone with jetlag.

Genius.

Tony's smile fell as he watched her choke on something and slowly he meandered through the sand toward her. For a brief moment he considered asking if she was alright. He knew she'd make an excuse and even if she wasn't alright he'd never get the truth. The closer he got to her, the more concerned he felt. His thoughts returned to the articles written for the small paper he'd found that had piqued his entrance. Someone had theorized she was ill. After all, she'd passed out and had to go to the hospital. Then she'd dressed up to let the press know she was doing just fine. She'd even told him that was the case. But why would she have to do that if nothing was wrong? Tony tried to convince himself he was over thinking but even the rational part of him was starting to think something was up.

There she was, incapacitated by the same cough he'd watched her struggle with the night of the play in Boston. Could it be possible that she really was sick? He didn't want to think it was true but the evidence was piling up. Then again, she could just struggle with asthma or something. When it came down to it, Tony didn't really know much about Scarlett in that respect. It wasn't like they'd sat and discussed any personal issues or medical history. They'd spoken quite a bit that night over pizza but when Tony thought about it, Scarlett hadn't actually revealed anything personal. Yes, she had interests and there was quite a bit to her business-wise but that was all she'd divulged. Very cleverly she'd managed to avoid any personal questions he'd asked with either flirting or distraction. He was beginning to think she was doing it on purpose.

"So, is this thing you want to show me really worth this long ass walk? Because if there's not like… shirtless oiled waiters hiding in those rocks with champagne and massages I don't think it is." Scarlett joked as she cleared her throat, attempting to clear the obvious tension in the air. Tony was worried about her. He wore his damn heart on his sleeve, at least she thought he did. Maybe it was just for her.

"It's better than that!"

"Are you sure?" Scarlett laughed. "I painted quite the picture there."

"Here, come on." Tony started toward her, arms out and Scarlett backed up at once.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Helping!"

"Oh no you don't, Tony," Scarlett stumbled backward in the sand but sure enough Tony grabbed her around the waist and scooped her up into his arms, "this is the worst idea! This is not helping! I'm too tall for this!" Despite her objections, Scarlett laughed.

"Come on, just… I'm gonna swing you around and…" Tony did as he said and Scarlett wrapped her legs around his middle and her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh my god, this is the worst idea." Scarlett still laughed in spite of it all and as she continued to object, Tony readjusted his grip on her and then started through the sand toward the rocks. "Tony! Put me down, I can walk! You just have to stop running so far ahead!"

"But I'm excited!" Tony was out of breath, the wine getting to his head, making his cheeks rosy. He continued closer and closer to the rocks that had once been in the distance. Now they were right on top of them and the water lapped against them threateningly. Wind howled and Scarlett, for a second, gripped onto him tighter as he came to a stop in front of the water. "Look how beautiful it is. Isn't the view amazing?"

"I swear if you made me come all this way just to look at the ocean I am gonna smack you so hard."

"No, no… There's more to it than this." Tony chuckled and as Scarlett squirmed he grabbed onto her legs tighter.

"Put me down, I can walk just fine! I asked you to slow down, not carry me around."

"You said something about oiled men massaging you with champagne or something? I was just giving you some wish fulfillment."

"You are not oiled, you don't have champagne, and that was not a massage."

"Okay but I brought wine which is better than champagne really. Less pretentious."

"Just put me down." Scarlett scoffed and at last Tony let go of her legs and Scarlett gingerly placed her feet back in the sand. "Thank god. Ask next time, will you?"

"You would have said no and well, then it would have ended the same way, right? I was just cutting out all that middle crap." Tony waved his hand in amusement and nodded toward the rocks. "If you're not going to continue using me like a camel then you're going to have to keep up."

"Keep up? There's nowhere to go, Tony! We have literally run into a stone wall." Scarlett leaned against the surprisingly cool rocks and smacked her hand against them. They were smooth, not what she expected. From a distance they seemed so jagged and intimidating.

"Oh, you're just not looking hard enough." Tony comically waggled his eyebrows and then dipped his feet into the water. "Cold! Yikes!" He did a little dance back and forth until his feet adjusted and then started further in the water. "Come on, this way."

"Oh no, no way. Absolutely not, Tony." Scarlett laughed and backed away from the water.

"Come on, it's going to be fun!" Tony turned toward her. When she didn't follow him and only gave him a look that told him just how she felt about his suggestion he started out of the water. "It's not that bad, I was exaggerating!" Tony reached for her hand and began to pull her into the water. She swatted his grip away and he pouted. "Please? You won't regret it. I promise"

"Those are some big promises…" Scarlett began but then something inside Tony's eyes caught her by surprise. He was disappointed. There really was something he wanted to show her and so she softened at once. With a sigh she pulled her hat off, put it in the sand and buried just enough to keep it from flying away, and then started into the water. "You really are a big baby, this water isn't that bad." Scarlett laughed and the disappointment in Tony's gaze lifted. He smiled wider than a little kid with candy.

"I told you, I was pretending for entertainment value."

"Sure, sure you were, tough guy." Scarlett swam with Tony toward the rocks. "You do realize we're going to get smacked into these things."

"You're tough, you can handle it."

"Oh, okay, just making sure you knew." Scarlett rolled her eyes. The sand wasn't a gradual release into the water. About three feet in, the ocean floor disappeared beneath them. Waves crashed against them, pushing them closer to the rocks which they followed along their border. They kept just far enough to keep from slamming against them repeatedly and getting hurt. Still, it was far more dangerous than Scarlett had anticipated.

Tony seemed so confident in where he was headed that she'd chosen to trust him. It was a pretty bold move, considering how rarely she trusted and how little she knew of him. Yet, that look of excitement on his face had been somehow worth the risk they were taking.

"Okay, we're going to grab onto these smaller rocks here at the end and climb up!"

"If you wanted to go rock climbing we could have just done that." Scarlett joked, out of breath as she swam, but not nearly as badly as she had been on the shore earlier. Temporarily she'd forgotten about the tightness in her chest, about the test results that haunted her dreams. This was that normal out of breath feeling, the one she had gotten used to.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Tony was just as out of breath. For a few moments he'd really thought that Scarlett was going to tell him no and return to the beach house she'd rented. "Can you reach that rock? My hand keeps slipping." Tony grunted as he splashed just enough out of the water to make a grab at a rock just above him. His fingers grasped around it but he couldn't keep a grip and fell into the water with a comical splash. Scarlett smirked a and when Tony came back up from the water he wiped the wetness away and blinked his eyes free of it.

"Stay back a little bit." Scarlett nodded to Tony who did as he was told. She waited for the waves to push her a bit higher, braced one hand against the stone and then with made a grab for the same rock that had betrayed Tony. At first her fingers slipped but she managed to tuck the tips of her fingers just beneath a little ledge of stone. "Alright." She waited for the water to again lap against the rocks before using the side of the rocks to pull herself up. Her other hand gripped stone and she climbed on top of the rocks and sat there for just a moment to regain her breath.

"See, I knew you were in good shape!" Tony smiled confidently. Scarlett adjusted herself on the rocks, belly down and reached a hand down to Tony. Her feet hooked on the back of the stones behind her to make sure she'd have enough leverage to pull Tony up. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, stop wasting our time." Scarlett laughed and so without a second hesitation, Tony grabbed her hand and then grabbed the same rock he'd slipped off of several times. When his fingers slipped, too big for the narrow gap Scarlett had used to assist her, Scarlett grabbed his other hand and then scooted up to her knees and helped pull him up.

Tony sat down on the stone next to her and looked out at the dark water in front of them. Scarlett wiped off her knees and then swung her legs over the side to sit next to him. For a moment they sat, looking over the water. Every so often the waves hit the rocks with such force that a gentle mist sprayed over their legs. Tony sighed heavily. It wasn't like him to be so quiet. Scarlett watched him from the corner of her eye. The ocean had bewitched him. She leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" Her voice seemed much quieter than usual in comparison to the waves. Tony smiled a little bit and then turned to look down at her. She was close and didn't shy away from him There was dirt smeared all over his black shirt from the climb up the rocks. He wiped his hand over his face nonchalantly in case there was any on his face.

"No, it's not. I just needed a breather."

"Oh, I see how it is. You get a breather but I have to nearly choke on my own spit to get one." Scarlett teased.

"No, well… okay, yeah, I guess." Tony smirked and when he pulled his hand from his face it was covered in mud and Scarlett bit her lip to stifle the amusement. "What? What's so funny?"

"Look at your hand." Scarlett cleared her throat to mask her laughter.

"Aw man!" Tony wiped his hand on his swim trunks and then started wiping mercilessly at his face. "Is it gone?" He'd been fine until he'd tried to wipe the invisible muck from his face. Doing so had the opposite effect.

"Sit still, okay?" Scarlett turned so she had her back to the ocean they'd climbed from and Tony continued to wipe at his face.

"It's all caught in my beard!"

"Well, if you'd just sit still."

"Don't know how. Jarvis says it's a real problem." Tony nodded but then Scarlett grabbed his chin with such a steady hand he widened his eyes. "Jeez, if you wanted to play rough you just had to ask."

"Just stay there." Scarlett wiped the mud away from his cheek and dusted out his beard the best she could.

"Or you could not ask, that is also hot." Tony grinneded and Scarlett finished wiping his cheek before giving him a good playful smack. "Ow! Hey, I was kidding!"

"Shouldn't make jokes like that if you aren't prepared for the fallout." Scarlett pulled her knees close to her chest and rested her arm against them. "So, if we're not here to look at the water, then why are we here?"

"I'll show you." Tony carefully stood and offered Scarlett his hand. Again she took it and got to her feet. "Just don't slip."

"So far you are the only one who has slipped."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Don't be condescending." Scarlett countered and Tony actually laughed. He wasn't used to people actually responding quite as on point as she did. As they walked, Tony reluctantly released her hand and placed his against the small of her back, guiding her forward. She didn't argue, she didn't see the point. Besides, it's not like anyone would see them up here and it wasn't like his hand was six inches lower.

"This is what I wanted you to see." Tony led Scarlett around one of the larger rocks and down a few feet. When she turned past the rock, Scarlett stopped short. The rocks were gone.

Well, sort of.

Rocks framed a small beach area. Vines and palm trees grew just along the perimeter of stone, overgrown from the balmy summer. Every so often, Scarlett could pick out lanterns that had been hung along the rocks to light the area. Water lapped against the sand peacefully, nothing like it did against the rocks just behind them. On the far north end of the private oasis was a cavern where water flowed inside.

It looked a little abandoned but it was still beautiful. Scarlett had seen secret places like this in the world before. Never had she sat to enjoy them before. Sure, she'd ruined others' enjoyment of them, but never had the privilege of enjoying it herself. Tony walked around Scarlett, through the water and onto the sand. From his pocket he withdrew a small pouch, waterproof, and pulled forth a lighter.

One by one he lit the lanterns and the oasis came to life. Despite being overgrown and poorly cared for, it was beautiful, wild. Scarlett stepped slowly back in the water and followed Tony, walking past him to the secret little hideaway in the cave. Someone had purposely carved out the inside of the cavern so that there was a place to sit. Inside the stone had been smoothed out.

Tony watched Scarlett as she explored and smiled. He knew she'd like that place. He hadn't been there in so long he'd almost forgotten about it. That was until he'd taken the time to track Scarlett's location in hopes of spending an evening at the beach with her. Placing the lighter back in his pocket, he looked down at his filthy shirt and pulled it over his head. Draping it on the rocks nearby, Tony dusted himself off and searched for more lanterns to light.

Scarlett had gone inside the cave to look around. Tony followed and when she turned on alert at his presence he held up a hand to quiet her.

Reaching just past her he flicked the lighter back to life and lit the lanterns on either side of the cavern. Light reflected off of the water and the stone walls, filling the cave with a brilliant orange hue. The water was clearer here than it had been on the beach where they'd begun. It was somehow more inviting all lit up, filled with warmth and promise. Scarlett turned every which way and let out a small laugh before looking back at Tony. He smiled knowingly and then watched as she moved past him in the water and walked back toward the rocks.

Tony paid her no mind. She was curious so he would let her explore. Carefully she moved vines, searched for any other secrets the lagoon might hold for them. He watched her. While she had seemed so sad and out of it before, Tony now saw something different. She was happy. At least he thought she was happy. There were secrets hidden there but Tony knew them well. So he sat in the sand and allowed his bottom half to be submerged in the ocean water. It rolled back and forth against him gently, comforting him. He closed his eyes and relaxed in the sand, letting his head lean back against it as he listened to her footsteps. Nothing needed to be said, not now.

Happy, content silence fell between them; something Tony hadn't heard in a long time. Usually the sound of his chaotic, constant thoughts drove him mad, filled him with nervous energy, but right now everything was quiet, still, comfortable.

He'd forgotten what that could feel like. Opening his eyes once again he saw the stars beginning to sparkle one by one as the sky darkened enough to allow them life. Another comforting thought. It had been the first time in a long time that Tony had looked at the sky and hadn't seen the possibility of war, of death, of civilizations years ahead of them in technology and warfare.

Now all he could see were stars.

They were beautiful.

It didn't matter what was out there. What mattered was right here, right now. So long he'd been so worried about death that he'd forgotten to live.

"Alright." Scarlett finally broke the silence. He peeked an eye open and turned to her. She was leaning against the rocks with her feet in the water and a smile on her face. "This was worth the walk."

"There's something very important you should know about me, Scarlett."

"And that is?"

"I'm always right." He smirked and Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"How did you know this was here?" She slowly walked toward him through the water and sat down next to him in the sand. The sun dress was thoroughly soaked and swirled with the waves around her hips. Tony couldn't keep his eyes off of it. He was bewitched.

"It's mine."

"Oh?"

"I used to come here to clear my head. It's private… very few people know it's here. I didn't. It was an accident I found it so long ago." Tony chuckled. "I used to bring dates here to you know… seal the deal." He half expected Scarlett to be appalled but much to his surprise she wasn't. Taking in the beautiful hidden lagoon bathed in lamplight once again she nodded in understanding.

"I can see how that would work."

"Yeah." Tony nodded and watched the dress in the water again but then looked back to her. "Is it working?" He couldn't resist and his smile was infectious.

"You're not single." Scarlett splashed right in his face and he spit the water back out of his mouth and shook his head like a dog. Wiping it away from his eye he kept one of them closed and didn't relent.

"It's for science. You know, statistics. On a scale from one to ten how horny are you right now?"

Scarlett laughed and shoved at his shoulder to push him back in the water and then looked back out at the ocean. Tony waited for an answer but got none. Scarlett had thought he was joking. Perhaps he had been, but now that he'd thought about it he'd wondered what the answer would be. That had been an entertaining tangent to linger on. Dangerous, but entertaining.

She thought about pulling away her dress. It wasn't like it was hiding anything now anyway but somehow it still seemed like a bad idea, considering their conversation. It was difficult to tell what part of the flirting was real and what part was in her head. Instead, Scarlett laid down next to Tony in the sand, her bottom half submerged in water. She stared up at the stars but they seemed oddly cold.

There was no future for her in them, even for someone who believed in that sort of thing. For once Scarlett wished she didn't see things so matter of fact. Yes, she saw beauty in the stars, but she also saw what was really there. The lights they saw were long since dead. Space was uninhabitable and infinitely terrifying. It was also equally interesting but it was difficult to find comfort in something she knew was so desolate and sad.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tony's voice was quiet and thoughtful. Scarlett hadn't realized he'd been watching her after she'd gotten comfortable next to him.

"It's not like I can stop you." Scarlett expected a quip in response, but it wasn't what she got. "That's been proven time and again."

"Why all the secrecy?" Tony wondered if she would answer. They'd shared such a nice night together and it hadn't been the first. "About your past and what you do… Why is it such a big deal? I know you're not bashful so there has to be a bigger reason."

Scarlett held her breath. She'd half been expecting another inappropriate flirtation and instead had gotten an actual serious question. This was what she should have been avoiding. This was why Natasha had told her to avoid Tony Stark. He couldn't get involved, but wasn't he already? Her thoughts raced, her stomach tied back into knots and all the worries that had plagued her so desperately all afternoon rushed through her once more. It was like someone was screaming at her from inside her mind and the loudest voice of them all was telling her that she didn't deserve to be there.

She should have just been doing her job quietly and waiting for S.H.I.E.L.D. to do the rest of the work. Scarlett had made her bed and now she should just lie in it and accept fate for what it was. Instead she'd let Tony Stark get close to her, she'd made him think that they could be friends. Hell, she'd wanted to be friends.

Tony saw her simply staring and her face seemingly turned cold. She turned away when his gaze was noticed and Tony grunted in frustration and looked back to the sky.

It wasn't fair.

She knew so much about him. He'd told her some of the things he had never even said out loud, or never knew he felt until they were pouring past his lips! She wouldn't even tell him where the hell she was born, or where she used to work!

"Why the hell can't you at least try to trust me?" Tony sounded angrier than he'd intended and he swore Scarlett went white. Or maybe it was in his imagination, either way her whole demeanor had changed. Then again, so had his. He shared his innermost thoughts with her and had thought they'd had this deep connection, this natural friendship. Had he made it all up? Did he think there was something there when there really was nothing?

"It's not like that." Scarlett became defensive. "It's not about trust or anything like that." She shook her head but she could feel something burning in the back of her throat, making it difficult to breathe. She was wheezing and her head was spinning again. At some point she'd known that this conversation was going to happen but she hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. Scarlett wasn't ready for it.

She wasn't ready.

It had nothing to do with wanting to tell him, that hadn't been the conflict at all. That had taken her weeks to figure out. Scarlett wanted to tell him, tell someone everything. She wanted to tell someone who would respond as her friend, for the first time in her days, and not just someone who wanted to save her. Scarlett didn't want to be saved, Scarlett knew she couldn't be. This was hardly living anymore. "Though to be fair, I barely know you." Scarlett cracked a smile, hoping to ease the suddenly very nervous tension that had escalated between them. Tony was angry, she could feel it.

"Look at this place, Scarlett. All I know about you is what people guess in the papers. I'm not going to tell anyone your secrets. Hell, I've defended you in the press every time I'm asked about you! So why can't you tell me? Just one stupid little thing because I've told you everything." Tony's voice was harsh, but also desperate. Scarlett nearly choked. Her tongue seemed to swell up in her mouth.

"I'm sorry." She managed in a whisper, but the words didn't feel real, nothing quite did. It felt like a dream, a dream that had gone terribly wrong. She should've known better. Natasha would probably tell her how she knew it would happen all along. How Scarlett wasn't going to have time for friends after all was said and done, how she should have stayed in Boston and just did what she was told. Now she was going to alienate the only person who treated her like a human being and not a project to be worked on or a test result on a medical chart.

"I don't want an apology! I just want to know what kind of trouble you're in." Tony sat up and looked down at her but she sat up at once too. He'd taken her off guard, that much he could tell, but she looked just as mad as he felt. "Please, I just… I need to know what it is that…" He twisted up his face while trying to form the words without sounding like he was a love sick puppy dog. "Why did you see that I was suffering when no one else did? You said you knew what it was like and I thought maybe back then you were talking about something a long time ago. But, I know that's not the case. Otherwise why the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents? Why the secrecy? Why not just tell me?" Tony's voice quieted to an angry whisper. It was definitely not comforting. Every breath Scarlett took sent pain radiating through her chest. "You understood me when no one else could because I wouldn't let them. So how did you do it?"

"I didn't have to be going through something to see you were suffering, Tony." Scarlett thought she sounded very meager and terribly stupid but Tony thought she sounded cold and calculative. "It was written all over your face."

"Then why the hell didn't anyone else see it then? If I was so terrible at hiding the way I was feeling then why the hell didn't…"

"Maybe they didn't want to." Scarlett spoke a little louder, snapping more than she meant to. This was beginning to feel like an interrogation. She was like an animal, frightened, with nowhere to go. When cornered, she couldn't help herself.

Was that true? Could Scarlett be right? Did Pepper not want to see he was suffering? Did she just hope it was going to go away without anyone asking? But then what about Happy? What about Rhodey? Yeah, Rhodey had made small attempts to do something about it but Scarlett, a perfect stranger, had leapt in head first to help him without knowing a damn thing about him. Then he'd told her just about everything that had scared the hell out of him. She knew his deepest, darkest fears now and what did he know? That she liked pizza? Yeah, that was useful information.

"Bullshit." He grimaced. "It's not fair that you know everything about me but I know nothing about you."

"Maybe you're better off not knowing. Did you ever consider that?" Scarlett couldn't reason with him as well as she wanted to. All the excuses sounded better in her head. If she could even find them amongst all the yelling, that is. There was a very small voice amongst all the panic. It told her it was okay. It told her Tony might understand. Even that voice continued on to ask if it was worth the danger she was going to put him in, if it was worth the trouble she would cause him. She'd set out to help Tony, not complicate things for him. God she was a mess. Talk about a mid-life crisis. This was a little extreme.

"That's not your decision to make." Tony spoke resolutely. Anger bubbled inside of him. "I want to know, I'm choosing to ask and you don't get to choose how other people feel. Is that really the kind of calculative woman you are? You think you get to choose how everyone else thinks and feels? No wonder Nathan's such a mess over you."

"Why won't you just let it go?" Scarlett needed out of this conversation, she needed out of the lagoon. She needed out of California.

"Because… god…" Tony hesitated and choked on his words. He couldn't think of a good reason to justify his anger. Every reason that popped into his head didn't sound right and honestly he wasn't sure any of them were true. Instead he smacked his hand in the water and turned his gaze away from her. Moistening his lips he wondered if he could form a sentence telling Scarlett he cared about her without coming onto her. Sure, it could have been as simple as saying that they were friends but it didn't feel like friendship. Perhaps that's why it was so painful to feel like there was so little trust between them.

Scarlett quickly, and not so gracefully, stood and nearly slipped in the sand. He didn't watch her go. She could do whatever she wanted, she was going to anyway. For all he cared she could go back to her loft. Tony was quick to anger but realistically he didn't want that. Scarlett stumbled through the sand, finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. Her ears were ringing.

She was having a goddamn panic attack in the middle of the beach with Tony Stark five feet away from her. God if Natasha could see her now, if anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. could see her now they'd be ordering her back to Boston. She thought about climbing over the rocks, she thought about getting as far as she could, but she didn't think she'd make it without falling over and collapsing into a big pile of emotions.

Maybe if she took deep breaths it wouldn't matter. She stepped into the water, as far as she could in the sand before it dropped off and the ocean became too deep. The water lapped around her stomach. If she could just close her eyes and focus on the sound of the water moving around her maybe she could breathe. For a second it worked but the more she listened the more she thought about Tony. Now even the ocean wasn't a damn comfort. It wasn't teaming with possibility and escape any longer, it was filled with condemnation and judgment.

"In and out." Scarlett mouthed to herself, coaching herself to breathe. What had she told Tony what felt like forever ago? Distraction? It was a hell of a lot easier when she was coaching someone else through it than it was when it was her own damn thoughts. She was trembling, trembling from head to toe. If she focused on staying still maybe it would stop.

God, she felt pathetic. When had she become so damaged? Had she been so broken by MedCo, by Scott, that she couldn't even answer a simple question anymore? Lying had been no big deal for so long so why did it seem so wrong, so terrible, now? Damnit.

Obscenities helped a little but not enough.

Tony stared into the water, at his feet as they dug in the sand. Maybe he should go. Scarlett wasn't going to trust him, she wasn't ever going to answer any of his questions or share with him anything that really mattered so why was he bothering? It had seemed like a practical fairy tale for a short time there. He should have known better.

He'd help her home and then they'd just work together. That would be it.

He got up and dusted himself off, his trunks dripping. Picking up his shirt he shook it out and glanced over at Scarlett. Maybe it didn't have to be an all or nothing situation. He was mad, but maybe it would pass. He shouldn't have pushed himself so damn hard. Maybe after he'd cleared his head he could ask again, start with something small. Yeah, that sounded more logical and more like himself.

He'd walk her home regardless. Tony looked back to her and she kept her back turned, even though she must have heard him moving. She was shivering.

"Are you cold?" The words sounded stupid even as they came out of his mouth. She shook her head and Tony knew at once what that shake meant. He turned away and ran his fingers through his hair.

How could he be so oblivious? She was upset. Scarlett was actually upset. He'd seen her irritated, at the theater in Boston, when he'd crashed through her window, but this was different. She was shaking with fear.

She was afraid. Was she afraid of the truth?

Tony didn't need to ask if he was right, he knew because he'd been in her shoes before. That must have been what he'd looked like to her on the stairs that first fateful day.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about whatever had happened. Not at all.

It was that she couldn't.

He wasn't sure she knew it yet, but he saw it plain as day. Relief, in a way, flooded through Tony. Things were far less complicated this way, at least for him. Maybe he didn't only need her to be there for him but maybe she needed him to be there for her too. He wouldn't say that out loud on the off chance he was way off base. But he had a very distinct feeling he was right.

As quickly as his anger had come it had gone too. Faded away with the ebb of the waves. He walked through the water to where she stood. In her head she was desperately repeating over and over, pleading for him to go back to the sand, to leave her alone, and let her recover for just a few minutes.

She couldn’t fight with him, not right now. She wanted to, but not like this. Closing her eyes she hoped beyond hope that he would leave her be. Instead he stood behind her, right behind her. She could feel him hovering close to her, the water lapping between them. For a second she thought he might say something cold, might tell her it's time to go or to find her own way back.

Much to her surprise she felt his arms wrap around her middle. He pulled her back against his chest and took slow, deep breaths.

"It's okay." He spoke quietly, holding her close. There wasn't anything romantic about it, no motives hidden beneath his touch. Yeah, of course he thought about what she was wearing and the fact that she was all wet, but he also thought about how she seemed terrified. If it had been the other way around this is what he would have hoped for. His words weren't condescending, they weren't giving her permission to do or be anything. He wasn't forgiving her, he was reassuring her. Gently he let his chin rest down on her shoulder and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

At first Scarlett felt like she was going to explode. What the hell was he doing? Was he hugging her? Her lip curled almost in a snarl but as he spoke the anger faded.

"I'm an idiot. You don't have to say anything, okay? I'm… an idiot." Tony was pretty sure those were words he'd never actually uttered before. For a second Scarlett actually laughed. Just like that she could breathe. It wasn't magic, it was just that she could feel his heart beating and feel his chest rising and falling. Finally she managed to mimic those movements and that vice grip on her brain stopped. The screaming was still there, the racing, panicked thoughts, but they were fading. It didn't feel like she was going to vomit if she spoke. "We should go before we're too tired to climb these things again. I really should come up with a better way to get in and out of here." Tony made to pull away but Scarlett stopped him.

She turned in his arms. Her eyes were bluer and clearer than he'd ever seen. Half the time they were dark and stormy but now they were different. Had she been on the verge of tears? Tony wasn't sure that was possible. For awhile he'd thought her carved of stone. Then she placed her hand on his cheek and he felt his own heart stop. Every doubt that had flooded through him, every fear, every angry word faded completely.

Never before had he felt so determined in such an instant.

"I'm sorry." She had never meant those words more than she did now. "I am so sorry." She wanted to say she never meant for him to get mixed up in any of this. She meant to tell him that there was too much going on and it would come to light later.

She meant to tell him that she was scared. Maybe if she said it out loud, it wouldn’t feel quite as awful as it did in her head. Tony would understand. He had been right. She'd understood what he was going through because she was struggling just as much. She wore it better than he did in public, but it was still there hanging on her.

She wanted to tell him they should run away to Paris. The weeks that were left on the clock could be wonderful. Instead she just stared at him, hand still shaking like a leaf against his cheek.

"Don't be." He shook his head and pulled his arms away from her waist but only for a second. He pulled her shoulders close to him and allowed her to bury her face right against his chest. She closed her eyes and let him hold her. Never had she done such a thing before, not since she was a small, foolish child. "You can tell me when you're ready."

Scarlett froze. He'd been right to be upset. She'd known it and he was taking it all back? That anger was gone, that upset was just gone. How could he be so forgiving?

"If you're ever ready." He whispered in her ear before resting his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes and simply held her. Scarlett could feel the reactor so close to her, feel his heart still beating beneath it.

For the first time in a very long time, Scarlett felt comforted.

That scared the hell out of her.

When did shit start getting so real with Tony Stark?

She lifted her head away from his chest with every intention of thanking him for being so understanding. He looked sad, but it was different than what she'd expected. There wasn't any disappointment, anger, frustration, all things that Scott had been when Scarlett didn't want to discuss something. That wasn't it. Tony felt sad for her. It wasn't pity like the people at S.H.I.E.L.D. It was sorrow because she was suffering and she had to do it alone because she wasn't ready to share.

Tony watched realization dawn over her as he held her there in the water. Everything about it felt right, everything except for the fact that he was still dating Pepper. Scarlett mouthed a thank you and moistened her lips nervously. Tony focused on them for just a second and it killed him. She needed comfort.

Scarlett needed something.

Why couldn't it be him? He didn't care what trouble she was in, he wanted to be in trouble with her. He brushed her curly hair away from her face. It was unruly after having gotten wet, more so than usual. It was better that way. She placed her hand over his reactor, obscuring its bright blue light and casting shadows across her face.

Amongst the smell of the ocean he could still smell her perfume. It comforted him, the combination was intoxicating. She wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come. This moment was precious, worth the agony of the day.

He let his forehead touch just against hers, pulled one hand from around her shoulder and let it rest against her cheek where his thumb brushed just next to her lips. She closed her eyes. The technicalities didn't matter anymore. His breathing was still comforting. That same guilt that had pained her each time they'd gotten close, that nagging voice telling her no was finally absent. It was too lost in the sea of everything else going on in her head.

Tony opened his eyes just enough, his lips parted and he let out a deep breath. There were only inches between them, barely. The idea of sealing the deal was both inviting and forbidden, an enticing combination. How easy it would be now, without that guilt aching inside of him. Two inches could change his life.

She wanted that, he knew she did. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted it. But there was something else, something nagging.

Scarlett was shaking.

Like a leaf.

Tony cursed himself mentally in every language he knew and swallowed the lump that had steadily grown in his throat. Carefully he pulled his hand from her cheek and rested it on her shoulder. A different kind of guilt had hit him. Not because of Pepper, not because of some relationship, but because Scarlett was scared.

Whatever she was going through, she had made it clear she wasn't going to do anything with him while he was still with Pepper. Tony couldn't add that weight onto her shoulders. Not when she was already carrying something so heavy she didn't know how to share the burden.

It took every ounce of willpower to pull away but he managed to even take a deep breath. Then he had to hold it. It was more complicated than just pulling away and deciding he wasn't going to do it. Scarlett just did something to him. If she'd noticed she hadn't said anything and for that he was grateful.

"Let's get out of the water and grab a cup of coffee somewhere. It's late anyway. The darker it gets the harder it will be to get out of here." Tony smiled, relaxing his grip on her at last. Yet he just stood there, holding her, unfinished.

"Good idea." Scarlett nodded. He wasn't doing it so she was the one to make a move. "We should put out these lanterns." She gestured toward the lights he'd only an hour ago lit. Tony agreed and did as he was told. Scarlett watched him, back to his old self at once.

Had any of that been real? He'd almost kissed her and she had almost let him.

What bothered her more than that was that she hadn't wanted him to stop.

Tony Stark was scaring the hell out of Scarlett Damien.