Echoes

Natasha stormed through double doors at the main entrance of the hospital to avoid the chaos surrounding the emergency entrance. She walked with purpose and when a hospital employee tried to stop her she ignored them and walked past. Very few people stood in Natasha's way when she was this angry. Her footfalls were heavy, resolute, and despite her small stature, she commanded everyone around her.

She glared at the attendant guarding the double doors into the emergency room who opened it at will then stopped to survey her surroundings. Natasha was aware at any given time how many people were around her, what her exits were, and what could possibly be used as a weapon. Her thoughts were buzzing, everything felt hyper real. The crowd of paparazzi trapped outside the glass doors to the Emergency Room seemed in a different world.

"Ma'am?" A Latino woman approached, wearing whimsical scrubs. Dalmatians. Cute. Natasha tilted her head curiously and the woman spoke again. "Excuse me, ma'am?"

Natasha turned toward her and flashed a badge she rarely ever used. The nurse nodded her head politely and offered to assist her. It was clear why Natasha was there, once the nurse had seen the badge she knew just where to lead her. After being given clearance into a restricted area she walked past the doors that she was buzzed through and stomped down the hall. That walk through the brightly lit sterile hallways seemed to last forever.

Finally Natasha turned the corner and the hum of anxiety in her ears broke. She could hear the nurses talking, staff speaking to patients in nearby rooms. Scarlett was pacing at the end of a long waiting room to the left of the nurse's station. Her forehead was bloody, she was scraped up, pale, and worse for wear.

"Natasha, I'm so sorry." Scarlett looked up as she heard her friend coming down the hall. Her ears were still ringing from the explosions and she felt sick to her stomach. Several nurses had tried to take a look at her but Scarlett had refused. Her medical history was far too sketchy to even try to get into that. They'd made her give up her gun if she wanted to stay, so she had. "I'm sorry…" Natasha walked right past her and looked through the doors that led to a hall where there were several operating rooms.

Scarlett watched her nervously, hands trembling. Natasha was angry, so very angry. Scarlett could feel it radiating off of her but she didn't back away.

"Tasha, I'm sorry…" Scarlett didn't know what else to say, she was at a loss for words. All she could do was apologize. The last hour had been both a whirlwind and a nightmare. There was nowhere for Scarlett to go. Outside the press was waiting, there were already stories all over the gossip websites about her. The nurses were whispering, asking questions as they passed but Scarlett had no answers for them. For once she had nothing to say.

"Where is he?" Natasha finally turned away from the doors, unable to magically see through the walls and into the operating room where she was sure Clint now was. She'd gotten the call from Mickey hours ago that something had gone wrong but she hadn't known about Clint until she saw the story on the news.

Mickey and Jinx were working on trying to get the press under control but the whole thing was a mess. Scarlett's cover was done for, there was no way she could maintain it without further explanation now. Business owners didn't show up bloody at a hospital armed, not the way Scarlett had. The speculation had already begun.

"In surgery." Scarlett whispered hesitantly. Natasha was much smaller than Scarlett but right now Scarlett felt twelve inches tall.

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know." Scarlett practically saw Natasha's blue eyes burn red. "They knew he was the mole, that's my guess. He was tortured, Tasha. For god knows how long." With a hiss, Scarlett whispered though the nurses were so far away from them that she was sure no one would overhear.

Natasha gritted her teeth but said nothing.

"I demanded to speak to one of the doctors they were assigning to the case. They… didn't really have a choice in the matter I was armed and kind of used it to my advantage." Weakly Scarlett smiled but nothing she said would ease the tension. "They say he's had some kind of infection, probably bacterial. It's pretty bad, they were surprised he was still conscious when he got here. The wound was extensive, they had to… operate to stop the internal bleeding."

"Is he going to make it?" Natasha spoke curtly.

"I don't know." Scarlett felt a chill pass through her. "T-they don't know."

Natasha folded her arms over her chest and paced again in front of the doors to the operating room. Scarlett felt her stomach ache and her head spun. Leaning against the wall she coughed, but did her best to stay quiet. This wasn't about her right now, it was about Clint and Natasha. Everything she was going through had to be put on the back burner until she was sure Clint would make it out of the woods. She wanted to ask why anyone had ever let him go back undercover. She wanted to know why no one had looked for him after he had disappeared! How could S.H.I.E.L.D. have allowed this to happen? If Scarlett had known the situation as it had actually played out she would have made her objections known. She never would have allowed Clint to put himself in harm's way because of her.

"He's a fighter, Natasha. Even all the way here he kept checking on me and…"

With a flip of red hair, Natasha turned toward her. Her face was nearly as red as her hair and her eyes were blazing with fury.

"This is your fault!"

Scarlett didn't say anything.

She had just been mentally blaming S.H.I.E.L.D. but that hadn't seemed to cross Natasha's mind. It was very clear where Natasha laid her blame.

"This is what you get for straying the path! You should have listened to S.H.I.E.L.D.! You came to them for help and then you disobeyed orders at every turn! Do you know what that does to an operation?"

"I…"

"Of course you don't! You're only ever looking out for yourself! Ever! Even coming to S.H.I.E.L.D. after what happened with Scott, what were you thinking?" Natasha was emotional, this was a rare event. Was this what she really felt or was she just scared and hurt? Scarlett had never seen Natasha scared or hurt so it was hard to tell. More than anything Scarlett hated that she was putting her friend through this.

"That's not what I meant to do at all."

"Of course not, but it's what you did. You shouldn't have come to S.H.I.E.L.D., you were crazy to get any of us involved! Any of us! You're a mess, a big mess."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"You're crazy if you think that you can just erase all the evil things you did by taking more lives, by shedding more blood!" Natasha pointed an accusing finger and it trembled as she did.

"Tasha…" Scarlett began, hoping to get her friend to calm down but that wasn't happening. The progress they'd made the day before was completely erased. She didn't want Natasha to say things she was going to regret, but it seemed to be too late for that. Scarlett was beginning to think she had that effect on me people.

"The only blood that should be shed, that should have been shed, was yours!"

Natasha had nothing else to say after that. Even as the words past her lips she seemed to have not meant to say them and was flushed.

She walked past Scarlett and sat near the door to wait, crossing one leg over the other and folding her arms. The redhead wouldn't even look back at Scarlett who stared at her, waiting for more, waiting for her to take it back.

She didn't take it back.

Natasha had meant every word of her rant, no matter how angry. Sometimes the best way to the truth was through emotional outbursts, through rage, sadness. People like Scarlett and Natasha rarely gave into those emotions. But there they were and now Scarlett knew the truth.

Even Natasha thought she should have just crawled in a hole and died.

Deep down Scarlett knew this wasn’t true, she didn't come to S.H.I.E.L.D. looking for sanctuary, she'd come to them hoping to stop MedCo; to stop Scott. Yeah, she'd bent the rules here or there but she hadn't been left with much of a choice.

Or was that her just being selfish again?

"Ma'am?" Scarlett gasped for breath as a nurse approached her. When had she started holding it? She must have been blue in the face because the nurse looked concerned. "Can I take you to see someone? You're still bleeding."

Scarlett shook her head no and the nurse gingerly took her arm and made to lead her down the hall. Instantly Scarlett shoved her off and glared something fierce. That must have done the trick because the nurse backed up carefully and started back to the desk, still looking concerned. Looking back to Natasha, Scarlett hoped that the woman would at least talk to her, so that she could ask what happens next, where she was supposed to go, what she was supposed to do.

Scarlett had become accustomed to being guided, not working on her own.

That had to change.

She was alone.

Scarlett had no business at the hospital waiting for Clint. He'd been so kind to her that Scarlett hadn't stopped to think that Natasha would be this upset. She'd done everything in her power to keep Mikhail and Scott occupied so she could save him. Scarlett was in no position to be doing any of the things she'd done that day, not with a toxic combination of drugs and poison inside her veins, not after the ordeal she'd had the other day. Wasn't it S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fault for sending her out there? Every time any of it made sense, Scarlett felt disgusted with herself.

At some point she'd have to learn to shoulder the weight of her actions. She just wasn't so sure she'd be able to remain upright with so heavy a load.

Turning away she walked down the hallway and it felt like the longest walk she'd ever taken. Every footstep echoed in her ears, echoing Natasha's words. Her heart nearly pounded through her chest, her fingertips were going numb. Every so often she had to remind herself to breathe and had to stop to cough.

Still somehow she managed to get through the doors, to walk through the emergency room. Her eyes were glazed over, she swore she may even be on the verge of tears. That was definitely not something Scarlett had done since this had all started. Yeah, she'd been upset when Scott had betrayed her, even a little heartbroken but god she hadn't cried about the damn thing.

Never had things felt hopeless.

Not until now.

In the emergency room waiting area Scarlett leaned against the wall. Her chest hurt but she didn't think it was from lack of oxygen. This was not a pain that Scarlett was familiar with. For a brief moment she thought that she was having a heart attack but knew that wasn't how that worked.

She was heartbroken.

Suddenly the hospital felt stifling. Nothing good had ever happened to Scarlett in a hospital. The air was thick, hard to breathe. She needed to breathe. Everything was suddenly spinning around her. Panic settled in, and as she panicked her breath grew shorter and the shorter it became the worse the panic became. It was a vicious cycle she couldn't break free of.

Ignoring a nurse who tried to talk to her, Scarlett heard only buzzing and rushed out the automatic doors of the emergency room and straight past the security guards that kept the press at bay.

Shit, she'd forgotten about the media.

Suddenly there were bright lights in her face and still she desperately needed air, fresh air, to breathe, to be free of the death grip of this panic that was overwhelming her. She wasn't finding any of that there. Cold air bit at her throat, her lungs.

Someone grabbed her arm and asked her a question but she didn't hear it.

There were people shouting at her from every angle. Some were asking about rumors of a double life, others were asking about the man she'd helped into the hospital, some were asking if she was okay, while many were asking what the hell she did that led to this.

The media had turned on her much faster than she had expected. Questions quickly became accusations of wrongdoing.

She knew that a public persona was a bad idea! She'd said so when S.H.I.E.L.D. had first proposed it and now here it was biting her in the ass. Scarlett stood there, in the center of a media frenzy who were chomping at the bit, hoping to get something out of her, anything.

When someone else grabbed her arm, she finally snapped and with a shout shoved the man away from her.

"Enough!"

"Scarlett, does this have anything to do with rumors of your sordid past?" The male reporter couldn't get enough, he'd grabbed her twice now. He had no right to touch her, even out of concern.

"Rot in hell, little man! You people are sick! Preying off of other people's personal information for money? Selling pictures of people in trying times so you can get a quick buck? You don't know me and I don't want you to. Leave me alone!"

For a second there was silence, but Scarlett knew her words meant nothing and honestly she usually didn't care what the media said, what they did, but right now Scarlett was struggling to even breathe, to even walk! They were taking what was a crisis situation and making it even harder to deal with. Scarlett needed to get away, to get away from Natasha, to get away from the hospital.

"Scarlett!"

"Miss Damien!"

"Just a word!"

"We need a statement!"

"The world is waiting!"

"It's none of your business." Scarlett was doing her best to gather her wits, but they seemed too scattered. Her head spun and she forced herself to walk forward, to get through the mass of people who were now parting away from her, afraid of receiving her wrath after she'd pushed the last reporter away from her.

Or maybe the flashing blue and red lights were what caused them to keep their distance. Police cars were arriving on the scene, whether the hospital had called them to handle the press or they'd been contacted by S.H.I.E.L.D. to take care of it, there they were. Scarlett felt very little relief upon seeing them.

They did however, help.

Police officers started to urge the press to back away from her, some even demanding they leave the premises. Scarlett felt very little relief still. An officer stopped to speak to her and asked her a question but Scarlett again didn't hear it. She assumed he was asking if she was okay so she nodded her head. He gave her a gentle tap on the arm and then started past her to handle the press.

"Miss Damien?" A familiar voice cut through all the noise, the chaos. There were still reporters shouting at her, hoping to get just a few words from her, but Scarlett would give them nothing. "Scarlett!" The same voice cut through the night. A police officer shouted but the voice grew closer anyway.

Scarlett turned and saw Dianne Hendricks coming toward her and grimaced. What was she still doing in California? Hadn't Scarlett told her to go home? She was supposed to be on the east coast, safe with her family, as far from Scarlett as she could possibly be. At this point, Scarlett had no doubt that MedCo would go after her too. Or The Crown, or whatever the hell they were called anymore. The Russian asshole and his lapdog, they were willing to kill anyone Scarlett even spoke to just to make her feel guilty and they hoped that guilt would crush her, would destroy any relationships she had left with allies.

It was working.

Natasha had abandoned her. That was what the heartache was, she felt abandoned. Yeah, when Scott had betrayed her Scarlett had damn well felt abandoned but she had also been angry!

Right now Scarlett was angry, but not at Natasha. Surprisingly, Scarlett was very angry with S.H.I.E.L.D. They were supposed to be keeping people safe and yet she was still watching them die, and now because of her! She never should have trusted them… but hadn't it been Natasha's idea to get them involved in the first place? Scarlett had gone to Natasha not S.H.I.E.L.D. Her head was spinning. Dianne was talking to her, was standing next to her.

"Scarlett, Scarlett?" Dianne repeated her name in a hush, trying to get her attention but not to get a story out of her, to make sure she was really doing all right. The dark skinned woman already knew that she wasn't, she could tell. Never had she seen someone more dazed in her entire life. Scarlett was usually so composed, so calculative but right now she was practically a zombie.

She was ignored, Scarlett was walking blindly toward her car but the car was long gone. Where had it gone? She'd parked it there a second ago. Groping her pockets, she searched for her keys and found them gone. She must have handed them to someone to park the damn thing. Turning back toward the door she was met with a flood of flash bulbs and shouting.

Dianne was walking alongside her, saying something but Scarlett was too lost in her head to listen.

"Miss Damien, here let me help you!" She reached to Scarlett who stepped away and became defensive at once. This startled everyone around her. Scarlett's secrets were brimming over the top of her carefully built wall and spilling onto the street.

"I'm fine." She whispered and started away. It didn't matter how she left, she had to leave fast.

"Scarlett, does this have anything to do with Scott?" Dianne needed to talk to her, to try to help her but this backfired.

Immediately Scarlett saw red.

Turning on a dime, in a rage, she yelled and grabbed Dianne hard by the collar and shoved her against the hospital wall and pinned her there.

"Have you not taken enough from me? Is this not enough for you?"

"Scarlett, I…" Dianne gasped and Scarlett pushed her harder to shut her up.

"If you don't leave me alone so help me god I will make it so you have no other choice!"

"I'm just trying to…"

"To help? To help! You want to help Hendricks? Forget that name! Forget my story! Leave me alone! Leave me the hell alone!"

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step back."

"Fuck you!" Scarlett cursed and released Dianne but then slammed her fist into the wall in anger. Dianne yelped in fear and crouched to the ground, lost her footing and slipped!

"Ma'am, put your hands behind your back!" It was the police who had been called to handle the press. Instead they were handling Scarlett.

Scarlett stared down at Dianne. Had she done that? No. Scarlett hadn't hit her, she'd hit the wall and her fingers were bloody enough to prove it. She stopped. There was still so much blood all over her hands. Clint's blood. Her blood. God knew who else's at this point.

Then she was pushed against the wall, chest first. The police were pulling her hands away and Scarlett turned, twisted the cop's wrist and kicked him away from her. The second jumped back in surprise.

"No! No, it's fine! Officers it's fine!" Dianne shouted over the chaos unfolding before her. "She didn't hurt me, I slipped, it's fine!"

"Ma'am I need you on the ground, hands above your head." Scarlett knew she shouldn’t resist but she wasn't getting on the ground either. That was all right because the cops did it for her. She didn't fight them this time, but she didn't make it easy either. Every grab they made she purposely pushed toward them as to throw them off.

By the end the cops were cursing, but had her in cuffs and dragged her into the back of the car. Dianne was shouting with another cop, being threatened with a citation if she didn't back down.

It didn't matter.

The hum of the press was gone now, outside of the police car that pulled out of the parking lot.