Words You Wouldn't Say

When Mike found Max again, he had two blankets in his arms.

He wrapped one around Max, who pulled it close, then climbed onto the playground behind him, pulled the second blanket around the both of them, and pulled Max against his chest.

"Should start wearing a jacket when you come out here," he said. Max made a small sound and curled up closer into Mike's chest. They spent the rest of the morning in silence until dawn, when Mike pulled Max back inside the house and to the bed.

They curled up together on the bed and Mike gently rubbed his back.

"It's over," Max mumbled. "But it doesn't feel like it's over."

"He's not gonna bother you again," Mike said soothingly. Max nodded against his chest and closed his eyes, sighing softly. "You're gonna be alright now."

When Otis woke up, Mike was fast asleep again. Max stood to go to him, changing his diaper and carrying him to the kitchen to feed him. He set him in his high chair and smiled at him when he started babbling.

"Ma!" Otis managed. Max's eyebrows raised and he smiled as he got Otis' favorite kind of baby food out - smashed peas. "Ma-x. Ma-x."

"That's right, Max. I'm Max, and you're Otis." He smiled gently as Otis babbled at him again and began to feed him. Arms wrapped around him from behind and he jumped, heart beat spiking before he heard Mike's gentle laugh. He slapped his arm, scowling. "Don't scare me like that." Mike's lips brushed against his neck.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." Max huffed at him and he laughed again.

"Otis can say my name now."

"Ma-x!" Otis yelled proudly. Max cooed at him and fed him more smashed peas. Mike rubbed his sides gently before pulling away to make breakfast. The doorbell rang, and Max glanced at the calendar.

"Oh good," he said as he made his way to the front door. "Daddy tornado and his twin terrors." He heard Mike laugh and he smiled as he opened the door to Chester and his sons. His sons hugged Max and raced inside and out to the playground in the backyard and Chester stepped in, a smile on his face.

Max smiled back. "Glad you're here. You can drop me off at school."

"I thought you weren't going?" he heard Mike call.

"There's only a few more classes before the semester ends," Max called back as he closed the door behind Chester and led the way to the kitchen. "I gotta go and learn stuff before the final or I'm gonna have to take the class again."

"You don't even need to," Mike grumbled.

"I'm not gonna depend on your income just because it's there," Max retorted as he began feeding Otis again. "I'd like to be able to depend on my own abilities too." Mike shrugged.

"I can take you," Chester said with a nod. Max nodded and finished feeding Otis.

"Let me clean up and get my stuff together." He pressed a kiss to Mike's cheek, smiled at Chester and went to his room, gathering clothes and slipping into the bathroom to shower.

When he got out of the shower and had pulled his jeans on, he stepped out of the bathroom to find Mike ready and waiting with antiseptic and bandages. He dressed him gently and sat on the bed as Max pulled on his shirt.

"Are you sure you want to go today?" Mike asked. "You could just stay, go back next semester." Max shook his head.

"The sooner it's over the better." He stretched carefully, feeling the bandages tighten against his chest. He pressed his lips to Mike's slowly, smiling slightly when Mike's hands found their way to his hips.

"The food's getting cold," Mike said eventually. Max pressed another kiss to his lips and pulled away, leading Mike back to the kitchen, where Chester was wolfing down a plate of eggs already. He smiled cheekily as Mike and Max walked back into the room, and Max slapped at his arm and made his own plate of food.

Max ate quickly and kissed Otis' forehead before following Chester to his car. "I've got a few errands to run," Chester told him as they started to drive, "so just call me when you're done." Max nodded, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "You alright Max?"

"Yeah," Max mumbled, tilting his head back. "Just been a long couple of days."

"But at least it's over," Chester said, patting his leg.

"It just feels like it's not," Max said quickly. Chester glanced over at him, but Max didn't look up. "I know that he's locked away and it's over and I'm healing and everything's going to be alright, but I keep waking up thinking I'm gonna be thrown back into that basement again. It's like I've been given this reprieve just to trick me into being comfortable again, and at any time the charade will end."

Chester pulled up in front of the school, lips pursing. "Have you tried talking to your sister about it?"

Max shook his head. "She's been really busy, and she has her own clients to work with. I'm okay, I just... I'm scared is all." He rubbed his face. "Thanks for listening Chester. I'll call you when class is over." Chester nodded and Max climbed out of the car.

He could feel the stares on his back as he made his way toward his class, but he didn't hold anyone's gaze. He wasn't there to be a star, he was there to learn.

He walked into class, and all the pre-class chatter stopped.

He felt his neck start to heat up and made his way toward his normal spot. Andrea scooted over to give him a spot, smiling comfortingly at him.

"Welcome back," she said quietly, handing him a set of notes. "I made copies of my notes for you, in case you needed them." He took them, smiling gratefully, as Melody turned to look at him.

"Hey," she said in a quiet voice. He could see guilt on her face. "I'm so, so sorry." He thought back to the moment he'd met Jace, when he'd turned around with Melody at the same time. Max wondered how well Melody had thought she'd known the guy who sat beside her.

"It wasn't your fault," he reassured her. "Don't worry about it." The professor walked into class and the students fell silent again. His eyes flicked to Maxwell and his shoulders sagged in relief. The class relaxed with him, a few murmurs passed between the students before the professor called for attention and began his class.

Maxwell had a hard time paying attention; he lost focus several times, and had to turn to Adrianna's notes to keep up. She just set it closer to his field of vision, giving him a small, comforting smile. He gave a thankful smile in return and gathered up his things and the copies of her notes as class ended, stepping down to where the professor stood at his desk as everyone filed out of class, whispering to each other.

The professor glanced up at him as he stepped up and glanced down at his work. "I've given your group an A for the assignment," he said. "Under the circumstances, I didn't feel it fair to give Adrianna and Melody such a workload."

"Thank you," Max said, eyes on the table as his professor shuffled his papers about. After a few seconds, he handed an envelope to Maxwell. "What's this?" he asked, taking it hesitantly.

"It's a letter from Ryan's parents." Maxwell stared down at it, eyes wide. "I assure you, they're not angry with you." He heaved a deep breath, then gathered the rest of his papers into his briefcase and looked up at Maxwell. "I don't believe we'll ever interact again after you graduate, Maxwell." Maxwell's mouth thinned. "I have nothing to say but that I'm sorry that this happened to you, and Ryan, and all the other boys." He turned and left, walking right out of the room and leaving Max behind.

Max stared down at the letter, his name written in careful cursive. He thought idly that Ryan's mother must've addressed it to him, and that his professor probably gave her his name. He flipped it over and stared at the flap of the envelope, hands trembling.

He had no idea how much time passed, but he still hadn't opened the envelope when Chester called him. He answered it, gripping the phone tightly in case it shook out of his hand, and put it up to his ear.

"Class over yet?" Chester asked in a tentative voice. Max glanced at the clock - it was thirty minutes past its normal ending time, so Chester probably knew already that it was over.

"Yeah," he said finally. "I'll be right out." He hung up and started out of the building, spotting Chester's car and walking over to it. Chester eyed him as he climbed inside, his eyes going to the envelope and narrowing.

"What's that?" he asked. Max paused. He didn't really want to tell Chester, or anyone for that matter. They might jump to assumptions and take the letter from him, thinking it would hurt him.

"It's a recommendation letter," he lied. Chester stared at him. "My professor thought I might need it, since I got so behind not being in class."

Chester didn't say anything for a solid minute (Max counted). After a few seconds, he turned and put the car into drive, striking up a conversation as he drove them back to Mike's - Max's home.

Max climbed out as soon as Chester put the car in park, slipping the letter in between Adrianna's notes in his backpack and making his way inside, Chester following a few seconds behind. The other went straight to the living room as Max trekked to his room and set the backpack down in the closet, hidden amongst his things. As he made his way back to Chester and Mike, he heard Chester trying to whisper to the other.

"Got an awful poker face, you remember from when we played?" Chester was saying. "Knew he was lying right away, but I don't think it's a good idea to press him about it."

Mike was silent for a few heartbeats. "Maybe he just didn't want Mister Blabbermouth to know first," he said thoughtfully. Max smiled slightly, leaning against the wall on his good side. Chester made an offended sound. "Oh, come on, you came back and the first thing you did was tattle-tale."

"The kids are outside, you can say snitch." Mike gave a short laugh and Chester sighed. "Look I'm just worried is all. Max puts up a brave face, but I don't think he's really recuperated from what happened." Before they could say anything else, Max stepped into the room, biting his lip. Mike looked like he was about to say something, but he covered his mouth and glanced at the television, which was on, cable news talking about the serial killer who'd killed seven gay men in his law class.

Chester had his poker face on, which Max had to admit was far better than his. He gave Max a smile and gestured for him to join them on the couch, but Max shook his head and started for the jungle gym outside where the kids were playing. Otis cooed at him as he passed and Max gave him a wide, theatrical smile as he passed.

The kids waved to him as he joined them outside, and he began climbing the jungle gym with them, listening to them talk about their classes at school and about the girl who said she had a crush on Tyler. After a while, Chester called them back inside for lunch, and Mike wrapped his arm around Max's waist and pulled him aside as Chester made plates of the food for the boys and followed them into the dining room.

Max couldn't look up at him. After a few seconds he sighed and brushed his nose over Max's temple, pulling him into a full hug and saying nothing. Max wrapped his arms around Mike, closing his eyes.

"Talk to me, if you need to," Mike said after a few seconds. "I know that you're used to dealing with these sorts of things by yourself, I know. But you're not by yourself anymore."

Max buried his face in Mike's shoulder, sighing shakily. "I know," he said after a few seconds. "When I get my thoughts in order, you'll be the first to hear them."

Mike squeezed him gently, then pulled back, leaning against the counter. "I called your sister." Max's eyes went wide. "She wants you to go by her office tomorrow. For lunch."

"For lunch," Max said with a snort. He pulled out of Mike's embrace. "You mean an hour of being psycho-analyzed and told I need to be more open?"

"I don't want to pressure you, Max," Mike said carefully. "I want you to be okay."

"I'm okay," Max said, glancing at the food. "I sleep, I eat, I talk to people. I'm okay."

"You're still sleepwalking," Mike said finally. "You're still falling out of bed and talking in your sleep and sometimes you scream. You're still hiding outside at two in the morning counting stars so you won't remember, you're still lying to me about what's going on." Max turned his head away, feeling as if he'd been verbally slapped. "I can't say that I know what makes you feel better, Max," he continued, taking Max's good arm carefully. "But I know that pretending nothing is wrong in the day time isn't helping you."

After a few seconds, Max breathed through his nose and pulled his arm away. "Fine," he said quietly. "I'll go and see her tomorrow." Mike watched him and Max turned away before moving out of the kitchen and away from the dining room. Otis called for him from his high chair, but Max didn't turn back.