What Once Was Lost (3 of 3)

The others have now gathered atop the abandoned watchtower on Ravenhill where I am standing looking at Lake Town as the dragon is still flying to the settlement. The bell is ringing and the sound is being carried on the wind and echoing over the lake as people are rushing around getting in boats, some running over the bridge as Smaug starts to circle the town before swooping over it really low so that his feet almost touch buildings. I scan the faces of people I can see, wondering if any are our absent company members or Bard and his family. I can't see any of them. The dragon turns around, taking a wide turn, in no rush to kill the innocent people, he suddenly dives through the air and his chest starts to glow, he levels out by spreading his wings and unleashes his fire as he flies over the town, One long stream if it from one end of the town to the other. The surprise of his sudden burst of fire causing me to loose focus and shake my head as I start blinking. Since I had been staring and focussing so much that I hadn't blinked until that moment. We should have listened to those who warned us. Elrond, Bard. ...Bard... I only hope he and his family are not caught in the firestorm. We were fools to think we could kill a dragon and our foolishness have brought this fate to the people on Lake Town.
“Can you see them?” Balin asks. I shake my head

“Poor souls” he says remorsefully.

I look over at Bombur who looks terrified. And why wouldn't he be? His brother is down there with Fili, Kili and Oin. I feel the guilt rise as I look back to the town as Smaug is just flying around breathing fire wherever he sees movement. I force myself to watch and not look away, no matter how much I want to. Those people are suffering and dying because of us.

Buildings are crumbling as they burn and flaming debris is floating in the water as the town falls apart.
I suddenly notice someone running over rooftops and try to focus to see who it is. It's hard to tell because of all the fire and the person constantly jumping around but I can tell that it is a man. I watch confused as this man, carrying a bow and a quiver full of arrows, runs to the bell tower. Once at the top he stands there and looks at the dragon, in the light from the fire I recognise who it is.

“Bard!” I say quietly and quickly out of panic as I see Smaug heading in his direction. To my surprise he shoots the dragon and the beast veers off unappeased by the arrow that just bounced off his scales, and probably not even aware he's being shot at. The bell stops ringing after Bard cuts the rope and continues firing at Smaug when he's close enough.
Arrow after arrow he shoots. Each one bouncing off like the last. And then he has only one arrow remaining. He pauses as he realises he has one arrow. One more chance. As I watch him knock the arrow I pray that he may find a way to kill the dragon. He shoots as Smaug flies straight for the bell tower. But the arrow bounces off the dragon's head. The lizard knocks the tower as he passes causing Bard to loose balance and knock him off his feet. Smaug roars and flies away from the tower. Movement on the tower steps catches my eye and when I look at the cause I see Bard's son, Bain. Carrying a black arrow. I feel a flicker of hope but before It gets to more than a flicker I feel my breath catch as I see the dragon turn around heading straight for the tower where Bard and his son are. He tears off the spire of the tower and lands within the town, crushing buildings under his weight.

I can see him speaking as he moves closer to Bard but I can't make out what is being said. Unlike the bell that was ringing and the screams the dragon's voice doesn't carry very well. When I look back to Bard I see what looks to be his bow, shoved tightly into splits in the broken tower top. Using his son as a rest for the black arrow. His son looks terrified for a moment before suddenly calming down.
Smaug roars causing me to look back to the dragon who is still all the way on the outskirts of the burning town, slowly moving closer to Bard and his son, but now picking up speed as he begins to run.
“Whatever it is you plan to do, do it...” I say to myself as I quickly look back at Bard to see the arrow go flying. It moves so fast I loose sight of it and the next thing I know Smaug slams into the tower knocking it over. I worry for Bard and his Son and only hope they didn't land in the fire. The dragon's momentum from running causes him to plough through buildings as he twists onto his back before starting to move his wings and gain hight.

He keeps climbing higher and higher into the night sky. But suddenly he stops flailing and starts falling backwards, limp. The lights in his eyes and chest have gone out. Could it be? Is Smaug dead? As the dragon slams into the ground there is a loud rumble a small tremor.

“What was that?” Ori asks. I finally look away from the burning town “What happened?” Ori stands up and everyone looks towards the lake.
“The dragon...” I say unsure.
“It fell! I saw it!” Bilbo says as he walks closer to the edge looking over at Lake Town.
Bilbo looks at me and my relieved look on my face must be clear as day. I didn't just imagine it.
“It's dead.” he says looking back to the town for a moment before turning back to the company.
I turn around and look at the company all wondering how the beast died.
“...Bard. He shot the dragon with a black arrow.” I say dazed in surprise, but overjoyed. I can barely believe it... The dragon's dead.
“Smaug is dead.” Bilbo adds.
“By my beard, I think he's right.” Gloin says as the sound of birds can be heard “Look there. The ravens of Erebor are returning to the Mountain.” everyone turns to see Gloin who is looking at the ravens.
“Aye! Word will spread.” Balin says smiling a little “Before long every soul in Middle Earth will know: the dragon is dead.” A few dwarves cheer and I just smile relieved as they start to head down the steps.
I look for Thorin and I notice him already almost halfway down the steps, heading back to Erebor in a hurry. Bilbo looks at me for a moment wondering if I'm coming back to the mountain with the rest of them since I haven't made a move towards the steps.
“You go ahead, I'll be along shortly” I say with a small smile. He nods and starts to leave as I turn and look back at the burning town and the body of the dragon that I can just make out through the fire and smoke, I can't believe the dragon is finally dead. I kneel on the stone floor and close my eyes and I say a silent benediction for those who have died in the wake of the dragon and I hope that Bard and his son are alright, and that the others who we left are unharmed. Afterwards I stand up and start walking back towards Erebor. Perhaps now things can start getting back to how they used to be, more or less.

Once inside the mountain I look for Thorin and the others, I find the others but Thorin is nowhere to be seen.
“Where's Thorin?” I ask Balin as I see him, as I look around I don't see Bilbo either “And Bilbo?” I add
“I think they're down in the lower levels, is everything alright lass?” Balin asks.
“Yes,” I nod “I'm just wondering...” I say and without further hesitation I head down towards the lower levels towards the living quarters, by the main stairwell. I come to a blocked off tunnel and have to take a different way down. Having to take a few detours because of broken bridges or blocked paths. I turn a corner and bump into Bilbo.
“Bilbo!” I say surprised
“Is everything alright?” He asks.
“Yes, everything is fine, I am just wondering... Hmmm” I say unsure what to do as I stare at the floor in thought. I'm finally home. The quest is, well it's mostly complete. For once, I don't know what to do.
“Chase. Are you alright?” Bilbo asks causing me to look at him.
“Me? Yes. Yes I am. I'm good, I'm just... I don't know what to do now...” I say nervously “I... We're in Erebor...” I say as it finally suddenly sinks in. I lean against the wall feeling numb. “It's been so long... Wandering without a home for so long...”
“Well, do you want to hear what I would do if I were you?” He asks softly.
I look at him and nod feeling like the lost child I was all those years ago.
“I would go home” He says smiling.
“...Home...” I say nodding “...Yes... Home” I say remembering, the word feels strange but I like it
“Go on, go home, I'll be up with the others if you need me, or if you want I can come with you, it's up to you” He says smiling
I look at him smiling “Thank you Bilbo. I think... I think I can manage from here”
“Well, you know where I will be” he says smiling. I nod and we both start to walk our separate ways. I head for the living quarter and I'm surprised to see it's mostly untouched by Smaug. There's the odd broken pillar and a few destroyed houses but I don't think the dragon was actually able to get in here.

I make my way to my old house and stand outside it for a moment looking at it. I take a breath before pushing the door open. I walk through the small entrance corridor and turn left into the main room, It's a bit dark and hard to see so I move my hand over the wall until I get to a table, I open a drawer and find a box of matches and candles. I light a candle which lights up most of the room. I feel my breath catch in the back of my throat as I see the room it exactly how I remember it. The carved wooden chairs and tables with intricate designs, the tapestries and rugs everything is how it once was only covered in dust. I see the silver candlesticks still with candles on them and I light them before making my way over to the fireplace and lighting it using the wood that's already in it and some of the kindling in the wood container. Once the fire catches and lights up the entire room I look around at the portraits on the wall. I then see one of myself that I barely recognise. I walk towards it surprised at how I almost didn't realise who the young woman in the painting was when I catch my reflection through the dust as I pass a mirror. I wipe away the dust and look at my reflection mentally comparing my reflection to the painting, I have a couple of small scars on my face and I look grim and tattered where the painting shows a happy young woman with neatly done up hair and dainty features. I smile as I look back to the portrait of my parents. It's nice to see them as they once were rather than how I remember them the last time I saw them. I explore the rest of the house before returning to the living room and just leaning on the fireplace, letting my tears run freely in memory and relief, looking at the fire as it dances between the logs. Perhaps now I can put the past behind me and get on with my life?

Thorin has been down in the lower halls with the gold for days. He doesn't sleep, he barely eats. He just obsessed with the gold, nothing anyone has said gets through to him. I sit on a chair at a table tapping my fingertips on the wooden top as I rest my head on my hand. Balin glances at me every now and then, no doubt irritated by my constant tapping, but not saying a word. Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur are probably dead and Thorin seemingly couldn't care less about that fact. I slam my hand on the table as I push away from it, my chair screeching as it moves against the floor suddenly, quickly. I storm towards the stairwell to the lower level to confront Thorin about it.
“Chase?” Balin says wondering what I'm doing. I don't reply, I just continue walking until I'm out of the room and heading towards the bridge. Bilbo suddenly stops me by standing in front of me.
“Where are you going?” he asks looking worried “You're not leaving are you?”
“What? No. I'm just going to try and talk some sense into Thorin, he's down there with all that gold without a care for anyt-”
“I know, Chase. We all do. He's not himself... We... We just have to hope the Thorin we know is still in there somewhere. I think he just needs time...”
“Time? To do what?” I ask sadly “Loose himself beyond all recognition..? I can't let that happen, he may not be the man I once knew or the man we have come to know, but he is still there... Somewhere... I can't let him continue like this, it will kill him... I can't stand back and watch him destroy himself... Two days... Two days and I barely recognise him. Before this quest I had not seen him for over sixty years, yet when I eventually saw him again I still recognised him, he was still the man I once knew. He had not changed much... Yet in two days he has changed more than those sixty years...” I sigh “I dread how much further he will fall into madness as we look on helpless to stop him” Bilbo doesn't say anything, just has a knowing look on his face. It has taken me a few hours to get the right mindset to talk to Thorin, but after this talk with Bilbo I can't face Thorin yet. “He'll come back to us... He has to...” I say believing he's not completely gone. I rest a hand on Bilbo's shoulder as I walk past him.
“Where are you going?” he asks
“To clear my head” I say softly.

I end up sitting on the floor in a hallway simply thinking of the past few months that we have been travelling here. Remembering the first time I saw Thorin in Bag End. He looked relieved for a moment when he saw me, but then the next second he was the stubborn, grumpy dwarf that he had been for so much of the journey. Then I remember the rescue from the eagles I could barely take my eyes of Thorin while he lay there motionless as he was carried carefully in the large talons of the majestic bird. Then to find out he was still alive, the relief I felt was unexplainable, and then he hugged me. Dare I say that I wished that it would never end. And who could forget dancing around the campfire that night? I smile as I remember it. All the company together. Then I think of Lake Town and Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur were there when Smaug attacked. I'm thrust out of my thoughts when I hear my name called. I look down the corridor to my right and see those who I least expected to see.
“Fili! Kili!” I say surprised, but overjoyed to see them. I quickly get up and rush over to them hugging the two brothers at the same time who both also hug me. “You're alright!” I exclaim happily “I hoped you would be” I say letting them go.
“Chase!” I hear from behind the two brothers. I look to see Bofur and Oin who have just come down a set of stairs.
I hug them both in turn. So relieved to see them all.
“Do the others know you're here?” I ask looking at all four of them.
“Yes, when we didn't see you we were worried the dragon had gotten you” Kili says.
“But then Bilbo told us you were probably down this tunnel somewhere” Fili adds. I smile and hug them all again “It's so good to see you. I am glad that you are alright”

We are all relieved that everyone is alive and after a while Thorin summons us all down into the treasure halls to look for the Arkenstone. Ankle deep in gold and gems looking for one white stone that most of us have never even seen before.

“Any sign of it?!” Thorin calls, echoing around the halls.
“Nothing yet.” Dwalin replies
“Nothing here.”Nori also replies

“Keep searching!” Thorin demands, while he is standing watching everyone else look for the gem.
“That jewel could be anywhere!” Oin states
“The Arkenstone is in these halls. Find it!” Thorin keeps demanding.
“You heard him. Keep looking!” Dwalin says

“All of you. No one rests until it is found!”

It's been hours and we're still searching through the gold, and as I do I occasionally look at Thorin who is fixated on finding that damned stone, watching over us like an overseer. He thinks of nothing else, I shake my head and make my way towards Thorin. A few of the other Dwarves look at me as I walk, no doubt wondering if I have the stone or not.
“Have you found it?” Thorin asks as I get closer.
“No, I haven't.” I reply as I shake my head.
Thorin starts walking up the stairs towards the throne and I follow him.
“Then keep looking, I want that stone found”
“Thorin, this is madness. How are we possibly supposed to find one gem in these vast halls of gold? We have searched high and low, and back again multiple times and there is still no sign of it. Do you not think that we should focus our efforts on something else?” I suggest

Thorin stops and stands in front of the throne. I didn't realise that Balin and Dwalin were following until I heard their footsteps as they stop walking just before the steps. I notice Bilbo join us to my right on the top of the steps.

Thorin gazes up at the mantle which the Arkenstone had once been inlaid.
“It is here in these halls. I know it.” Thorin says, the longing in his voice apparent.
“We have searched and searched…” Dwalin starts

“Not well enough!” He says displeased
“Thorin, we all would see the stone returned.” Dwalin states.
“And yet, it is still not found!” Thorin exclaims, his voice echoing through the empty halls.
“Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?” Balin says.
Thorin turns and slowly walks toward Balin and Dwalin.
“The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people.” Balin states, as if to remind Thorin.
“It is the King’s Jewel.” Thorin says in almost a warning tone of voice “Am I not the king?!” he yells.
I bite my tongue rather than make any sort of remark that he hasn't been coronated yet.
I can't help but look at the floor. I hate seeing Thorin like this.
“Know this. If anyone should find it and withhold it from me, I will be avenged.” Thorin says threateningly as he walks away.

I shake my head not wanting to believe what he's turned into. Thorin would never doubt Balin or the others.. I look at Bilbo, Balin and Dwalin sharing a look with them as I turn and walk away. I find myself looking down at the piles of gold.
“Everyone to the gate” I hear Dwalin's voice echo from the gold halls. I see the dwarves who were still searching through the gold for the stone start to head up the closest stairwell towards the gate, so I start to head there too. I wonder what's happening.

I finally get to the gate after having to take the long way around because of where I was and the damage Smaug had caused. I see everyone working on putting stone where the gate used to be.
“What's going on?” I ask Bilbo ask I walk over to him and Kili who are moving a cart full of stone towards the gate and the working dwarves.

“I want this fortress made safe by sun-up. This mountain was hard won. I will not see it taken again.” Thorin says walking out from one of the tunnel corridors. And standing looking out at the ruined city with fires lit. I take a closer look and notice they're survivors from Lake Town and I hope that Bard and his family are there. But then I am wondering why Thorin wants the gate blocked.
“The people of Laketown have nothing. They came to us in need. They have lost everything.” Kili says dropping the front of the cart. Thorin is now looking at Kili and the other dwarves have stopped what they were doing.

“Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough their hardship.” Thorin turns back to Dale “Those who have lived through dragon-fire should rejoice. They have much to be grateful for.” Thorin starts picking up some stone and throws it to Nori “More stone! Bring more stone to the gate!” he orders.
I stand there in disbelief. He knows how hard it is to get by after a dragon has attacked your home killing many of your people, and then not getting any help, how can he do the same to the people we brought the destruction on?

I can't, I won't help him do this to these people. But what can I do..?