My Brutal Romance.
That's My Girl
On the count of three, open your eyes.
One....
Two...
Three...
My eyes stay shut tight. I can't bring myself to look, not this time. I can feel how bad it's going to be already. My hand feels around my face, flinching at the contact, although it's just my own. How could I be this stupid.
Slowly I open my eyes, looking in the mirror at the mess that is my face. A sob escapes, at least nothing is broken this time. I hold on to the sink as I catch my breath. "Come on, you've dealt with worse than this" I whisper through bloody lips. I start running the hot tap, letting the water warm up. Gently I start to clean the blood from my face, my stupid pathetic face. The hot water stings, but it's what I deserve. What I needed. How could I forget something so important. I pat down my face with a dry towel, through my pale skin, I can already see the bruises coming through. He wouldn't like to see them. I pull out my make-up bag and start to hide the mess.
Perfect. Just the way he liked me.
He will be back soon, I head back into the living room, God it's a mess. I take out the broom and start to clean up the mug he threw across the room at me. How could I forget something as important as sugar in his coffee.
"I'm sorry" He stands at the door to the room, a silly grin on his face. "I just had a bad day, you know I love you, right" He walks towards me, and kisses me on my cheek.
I cannot breathe, I'm going to forgive him, I do it every time. It's the smile, he's so good to me when he isn't mad, so how can I not forgive him. I'm nothing without him.
"I love you too"
"That's my girl" he pushes me towards the wall, holding me tight and kissing me. "I'm going out tonight, with the guys. I won't be back until late" He steps back and smiles.
"Okay." I look down at the floor. That means he's going to get drunk, and when he comes back. Oh God when he comes back it's going to happen again.
"Wait up for me, Don't go to sleep." He kisses me on the forehead and leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.
----------------
I sit on the sofa, waiting. Watching the clock tick by. I take some painkillers, hopefully they will help dull the pain. I hate it when he drinks.
I hear the key in the door, and my heart starts to beat so loud, I can hear it in my ears, it feels like it's going to jump out of my chest! How can he do this to me, I love him.
"Jas...I'm home. Come here!"
At the sound of his voice, I'm up on my feet, and almost running to him. The secret to not making him even more mad is do as your told. As I get to him, I stop dead in my tracks, he has people with him, he hasn't done this before. I let out a sigh of relief, he never hits me when we have people over.
"Hi" I smile
"Come here." His voice was full of venom. I took a step towards him. "These are my friends, well more like I just lost a bet with them."
"Oh..I'll just get my purse. What did you loose?" I took a step away, but his hand was on my wrist, pulling me back.
"They're going to watch, maybe join in. I haven't decided yet" He smiled at me, but not the smile I loved, the smile that made me want to curl in a ball and die.
I closed my eyes, I don't like to watch, I don't like to know what's going to happen. I go to my happy place and try to block out as much as I can. I'm ten years old and in my aunts house, playing in the back yard with my cousin. The only family I have left.
I feel my hair being pulled, and I'm dragged out of my happy place and into the living room. I close my eyes tight as I feel a foot connect with my ribs. I push my fist into my mouth to stop my screaming. My eyes open and I see the two men sitting on the sofa watching, smiling. I close my eyes, seeing Frankie, my cousin one last time before the pain takes over and I pass out.
--------
Please be dead.
Please be dead.
Please be dead.
Tears stream down my eyes as I realize I'm not.
I can't do this anymore.
I need to leave.
I stand up, my legs shaking, the pain was the worse. I had to make sure he wasn't here anymore. I need to leave.
I take my phone out from under the kitchen sink, the last place he would look. I was not allowed a phone, in case I started to talk to other men.
"Please answer, please answer."
"Hello?" The sound of his voice made me burst out crying. "Hello? Who's this?"
"Frankie... It's Jasmine. I need your help, come and get me, now. Please hurry, I don't know when he will be back. I need you Frankie."
I text him my address and wait.
One....
Two...
Three...
My eyes stay shut tight. I can't bring myself to look, not this time. I can feel how bad it's going to be already. My hand feels around my face, flinching at the contact, although it's just my own. How could I be this stupid.
Slowly I open my eyes, looking in the mirror at the mess that is my face. A sob escapes, at least nothing is broken this time. I hold on to the sink as I catch my breath. "Come on, you've dealt with worse than this" I whisper through bloody lips. I start running the hot tap, letting the water warm up. Gently I start to clean the blood from my face, my stupid pathetic face. The hot water stings, but it's what I deserve. What I needed. How could I forget something so important. I pat down my face with a dry towel, through my pale skin, I can already see the bruises coming through. He wouldn't like to see them. I pull out my make-up bag and start to hide the mess.
Perfect. Just the way he liked me.
He will be back soon, I head back into the living room, God it's a mess. I take out the broom and start to clean up the mug he threw across the room at me. How could I forget something as important as sugar in his coffee.
"I'm sorry" He stands at the door to the room, a silly grin on his face. "I just had a bad day, you know I love you, right" He walks towards me, and kisses me on my cheek.
I cannot breathe, I'm going to forgive him, I do it every time. It's the smile, he's so good to me when he isn't mad, so how can I not forgive him. I'm nothing without him.
"I love you too"
"That's my girl" he pushes me towards the wall, holding me tight and kissing me. "I'm going out tonight, with the guys. I won't be back until late" He steps back and smiles.
"Okay." I look down at the floor. That means he's going to get drunk, and when he comes back. Oh God when he comes back it's going to happen again.
"Wait up for me, Don't go to sleep." He kisses me on the forehead and leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.
----------------
I sit on the sofa, waiting. Watching the clock tick by. I take some painkillers, hopefully they will help dull the pain. I hate it when he drinks.
I hear the key in the door, and my heart starts to beat so loud, I can hear it in my ears, it feels like it's going to jump out of my chest! How can he do this to me, I love him.
"Jas...I'm home. Come here!"
At the sound of his voice, I'm up on my feet, and almost running to him. The secret to not making him even more mad is do as your told. As I get to him, I stop dead in my tracks, he has people with him, he hasn't done this before. I let out a sigh of relief, he never hits me when we have people over.
"Hi" I smile
"Come here." His voice was full of venom. I took a step towards him. "These are my friends, well more like I just lost a bet with them."
"Oh..I'll just get my purse. What did you loose?" I took a step away, but his hand was on my wrist, pulling me back.
"They're going to watch, maybe join in. I haven't decided yet" He smiled at me, but not the smile I loved, the smile that made me want to curl in a ball and die.
I closed my eyes, I don't like to watch, I don't like to know what's going to happen. I go to my happy place and try to block out as much as I can. I'm ten years old and in my aunts house, playing in the back yard with my cousin. The only family I have left.
I feel my hair being pulled, and I'm dragged out of my happy place and into the living room. I close my eyes tight as I feel a foot connect with my ribs. I push my fist into my mouth to stop my screaming. My eyes open and I see the two men sitting on the sofa watching, smiling. I close my eyes, seeing Frankie, my cousin one last time before the pain takes over and I pass out.
--------
Please be dead.
Please be dead.
Please be dead.
Tears stream down my eyes as I realize I'm not.
I can't do this anymore.
I need to leave.
I stand up, my legs shaking, the pain was the worse. I had to make sure he wasn't here anymore. I need to leave.
I take my phone out from under the kitchen sink, the last place he would look. I was not allowed a phone, in case I started to talk to other men.
"Please answer, please answer."
"Hello?" The sound of his voice made me burst out crying. "Hello? Who's this?"
"Frankie... It's Jasmine. I need your help, come and get me, now. Please hurry, I don't know when he will be back. I need you Frankie."
I text him my address and wait.