Notes on Heartbreak

It left a hole in my stomach. You drove off, too fast for me to think, to respond, to stop you. All I could do was sit on the gravel of my driveway, contemplating what had happened and what to do next. When you said those words "we're done" it was a shot in the dark. They rang all around me, echoing, repeating, threatening to shoot me down on the spot. All around me was pure darkness. I felt nothing.

Midnight- I trying to salvage the most important thing in my life. In fact, I thought I had.

Prom Night- I can't begin to explain how it feels when you know that the one person you love wants nothing to do with you. It should have been a night filled with kisses and laughter. It could have been the perfect night. It should have been. All I wanted was to hold your hand, for you to look at me the way you used to. I wanted you to want to be there with me, to slow dance with me, to feel your arms around me like all of the millions of times in the past. I just wanted you. I tried to dress up for you, I wanted you to think I looked beautiful. I kept a smile on my face, through the tears, and your angry looks, and my friends knowing eyes. I couldn't hold it in. The pain was overwhelming. Two nights earlier we would have been having the best night, but instead it had turned into the absolute worst night of my life.

Midnight- I can't sleep. I can't feel anything. Am I still breathing? Is my heart still beating? I can't be, theres no way I am possibly still alive. Tears, hard, aggressive tears. I can't stop, its all I am capable of. God it hurts like hell... but at the same time I feel nothing. My head is blank yet so many thoughts are running through my mind. I need you and you are gone. I have ruined it all.