She's Like a Piece of Home

A large, navy shoulder bag clattered onto the booth seat across from her causing her to jump. The skinny blonde in a cream and navy chevron A line dress stood at the edge of the booth, tapping her pink polished nails on the edge of the table. “This better be good. You know I hate driving in the city.”

“I’m really happy to see you, too,” Raleigh muttered sarcastically as she straightened out her dark blue, sleeveless shirt. Brooke scrunched her face up as she slid onto the bench across from her.

She tugged on the navy blazer and reached under the table, Raleigh assumed to adjust the dress. “Sorry. How’s your first day going, sweetheart?” she asked in the most sickeningly sweet voice.

The brunette rolled her eyes, but grinned. “Wonderful, darling.” Brooke cracked a smile back. “I’m swamped, actually. But it’s good. Really good. I have two grant proposals to start researching and there’s a Civil War collection we’re trying to get on loan from some museum in the south.”

They both studied the menu, quiet for a moment. Raleigh set it down, quickly deciding on the grilled chicken salad. “Wow,” Brooke muttered. She glanced over the menu at her. “That’s a lot for the whole four hours you’ve been in this job.”

Raleigh shrugged as she pushed the menu further back on the table. “Casey figures I’ve been there for two years, so we could just dive in.”

*
Brooke set her menu down and studied her best friend. There was no way she begged her to meet her for lunch in the city just to discuss her new job. “Still – ” she was interrupted by a tall, brunette server. “Water, please. And a grilled chicken salad, no dressing please.”

“Same, but with the dressing, please,” Raleigh added when he turned to her. He nodded and walked back to the kitchen.

“Let’s try this again. Still seems like a lot. Do you like it?”

“I love it,” she burst excitedly. Brooke could see the sparkle back in her eye. For a while she had been starting to worry that Raleigh was falling into the trap of complacency. She was thrilled when Raleigh told her at the end of July that this position had opened and had urged her to go for it. “We’re going to go over some of the older exhibits when I get back.”

“That’s good. So what else is going on?” she asked. She noticed the automatic change in the brunette’s demeanor. Oh, this was about him. Might as well ask, Raleigh was terrible about offering up any type of information when it came to men. “Call Luka yet?”

She cleared her throat and took a sip of the water that had just been placed on the table. “That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you.” She trailed off at the end. Brooke rolled her hand to persuade her to keep talking. She let out a defeated sounding sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“So tell me what happened then,” Brooke encouraged gently. Raleigh looked past her and frowned. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Something happened since they had met for breakfast on Saturday. Brooke knew then that Raleigh had taken a step she hadn’t meant to, but she wouldn’t confess to it. Brooke wasn’t exactly sure what she had against him, the Luka she knew from following hockey didn’t seem any different from the Luka she had actually met. In fact, he seemed to uphold to what she had so often heard about him.

Raleigh let out another small sigh and finally made eye contact with her. “You know how he’s been coming over for family game night?” She nodded. She had participated in a several of them herself over the years. Cami and Quinn always seemed to welcome people into the fold. “Okay, so he was over last night. I joined them. We may have made out a tiny,” she watched her squirm in her seat as Brooke arched an eyebrow, “bit. Anyway, not relevant.” Raleigh continued ignoring Brooke’s confused stare. “He stayed after.” Brooke tilted her head and looked at her through her lashes. “Okay, okay, I invited him to hang out and watch a movie. Which is exactly what we did. It was weird. Nothing else happened. I don’t think he wants to be more than friends.”

Whoa. “So you’re willing to accept him as a friend now… at least that’s a step in the right direction. Over the sports thing yet?”

She shook head adamantly. Brooke knew that people could hold on to events for a lifetime, holding them back from being truly happy. She feared her closest friend was doing exactly that. She couldn’t remember the last time she extended a dating situation beyond a few weeks. She wasn’t one to argue that one needed a significant other to be happy, but she saw a pattern emerging from Raleigh that caused her to be concerned.

“I didn’t say that,” Raleigh declared. She shoved her hand back through her auburn waves and shifted in her seat. “But I don’t know. I’m so confused. He makes me so confused.”

Brooke could barely contain the grin that spread across her face. This was good. That was one thing she hadn’t heard from when she had discussed any of the other guys she had dated. “That’s because you like him. I get that this may come across as a shock to you, but you might actually have feelings for him.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “But that’s thing. Everything feels so… unnatural. I can’t let myself relax around him.” Brooke heard Raleigh’s cell phone vibrate against the bench seat. Raleigh glanced down briefly and Brooke didn’t miss the corners of Raleigh’s lips curl slightly upwards.

“Is that him now?” she asked curiously. Raleigh’s face quickly became neutral again.

“Matt. He asked me earlier if we could get together sometime to catch up.” There was an unmistakable cheerfulness in her voice when she mentioned Matt. Raleigh gave her a head a quick shake and continued. “I don’t know what to do about Luka.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” There was something she was leaving out. No, not just one something. A lot of somethings. She was holding back. Brooke folded her hands as she set them on the table.

“Nothing.” Raleigh pushed at her drink.

“Secrets, secrets are no fun…” Brooke teased playfully. Raleigh frowned and looked away again. Brooke pushed out her lower lip and gave her best puppy dog impression, adding a few whimpers in. Raleigh’s hard-shelled façade cracked and she finally let out an exasperated sigh. “So,” Brooke started out slowly, “Have you kissed him since the pool party?”

She gave a short nod and her voice was quiet as she answered. “Yes.”

“How many times since the pool party?” Brooke prodded, determinedly.

*
“Three.” Raleigh could kick herself. She hated holding back from Brooke, but at the same time, she wasn’t ready to give in.

“And how many times have you seen him since the pool party?”

Lie. Lie. Lie. The thought pulsed in her head, but it was no use. She was never very good at lying to Brooke. The best she could do was lie by omission. “Three.”

A mischievous look came over Brooke’s face and Raleigh knew where the next question was going. “And how many times have you had sex?”

She opened her mouth, ready to answer when her salad was set down in front of her. She glanced up at the server. Saved. “Thank you.” In more ways than one. Her gaze returned to Brooke and she smirked. “This looks good.”

“Can’t avoid it forever,” her friend muttered annoyed. She sat back against the both and thought for a moment before speaking. Raleigh took a bite of her salad feeling smug. Raleigh knew that Brooke was now going to be determined to get her to admit that they had slept together. But Raleigh wasn’t going to give it up. She wanted hold onto that moment for herself, especially since she was feeling more positive than ever that he wanted to be friends. Last night had proved it. Once they were alone together again, nothing else happened.

Brooke continued, interrupting her thoughts. “So every time you’ve seen each other, you’ve made out in some capacity and you’ve slept together.” When Raleigh said nothing, but shoved a forkful of lettuce in her mouth, Brooke shook her head. “Oh, Raleigh, you’ve really nailed this one,” her voice was dripping with sarcasm, “he totally wants to be ‘just friends.’”

That comment surprised her. She sat up straighter and peer curiously at her friend. “What?” That was what he wanted. He didn’t tell her any differently when she said it.

“Did you tell him this?” She took a bite of lettuce and chicken. “The ‘just friends’ thing?” Raleigh nodded. Brooke was unusually quiet, a look of disbelief on her face. “Wow.”

She gaped at her friend. All she had done was made it clear to him that she wasn’t confusing what was happening between them. A lot of mistakes, but that being friends was okay. “What? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You know, I was pretty sure the whole friend-zone thing was just a bullshit thing guys would say when they were pissed that a woman didn’t want him the same way he wanted her, but you, my friend… Oh, you. You have just done exactly that. You friend-zoned him,” Brooke blurted out after another moment of silence. Raleigh wasn’t sure how to react. This wasn’t like Brooke. Patient, therapist Brooke was always much more rational and calm.

“That’s what we are,” she murmured, unable to make her voice any louder. Had she misread the situation? No. No. He didn’t correct her. They were both just being clear. It’s not like he had time to be anything more than friends anyway. They weren’t even going to be able to see each other again until next Tuesday.

“Bullshit,” she countered hotly. Raleigh set her fork down and leaned back against the booth, unsure of what to do. “I saw the way he looked at you at Mackenzie’s pool party. You made out with him there. He spent the entire day with you on Friday.”

No. No. NO. She had this all wrong. She kissed him at the pool party. He was simply fulfilling their deal from the zoo the month before. Raleigh took a deep breath and tried to regroup. “So?” she asked with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“Oh my God. Seriously – ” Brooke looked absolutely floored. Raleigh watched her looked her over slowly, as though she thought she were kidding. “You cannot be – ”

“Be what?”

The blonde groaned with a heavy sigh as she rubbed her hands on her face. “Has he called or texted you at all since last night?”

She felt blindly on her seat for her purse to retrieve her phone. He had. “He sent me a text this morning, wishing me luck today.” It was simple, but she had thought it was sweet. Hope you first day is good. You be fine. :)

“Stupid.” She was shaking her head and looking down at her salad. She pushed her hair out of her face and looked Raleigh dead in the eye. “You. Are. Being. Stupid.”

“What?” she asked innocently, her fingers now clutching the phone. “You did the same thing.”

“I’m your best friend. That’s what I’m supposed to do. He is your ‘friend,’” she stated, mocking the word ‘friend’ by throwing air quotes around it. This was a bad idea. She felt like she was being scolded. She shouldn’t have asked Brooke to meet her. She shouldn’t have told anyone.

“And?” She attempted a bite of her salad, but Brooke briskly rolled into her next question.

“Did Tristan text you?”

“No, but – ” No chance to get a word in edgewise once Brooke started.

“Raleigh, he likes you.” Raleigh shook her head. Just no. As a friend, yes. Brooke continued, her voice had softening, “Listen to me. He not only paid attention to the fact that you just started a new job, but he made sure to tell you good luck.” She was keeping tally on her fingers. “He spent an entire day with you doing something that I highly doubt he has an interest in. He invited you to a party where you met his friends. You’ve been making out and had sex – ”

Raleigh swallowed hard and blinked. It’s not – that wasn’t what – it’s just not how things were. She didn’t understand. “Sometimes friends get carried away,” she whispered, almost unable to look at her friend.

Brooke frowned sympathetically. “Not that many times.”

“You have it all wrong,” the brunette insisted, attempting to cling to one last hope that she hadn’t royally screwed things up.

“I don’t know.” Her lips twisted doubtfully as she tilted her head. “Sounds like you’re the one that has it all wrong.”

Raleigh said nothing in return. She had no further argument. She picked up her fork and knife and began to quietly eat again while mentally reviewing everything Brooke had just said. Who had initiated everything? Well, they had each really done their fair share. Last night, though, he had pulled her across his lap.

“By the way, you didn’t deny it that time,” Brooke’s voice still gentle, but slightly smug pulled her back from her thoughts.

Raleigh glanced up at her. “What?”

Cheshire Cat grin on her face, she declared, “You did have sex with him.” Raleigh blushed furiously as she was now completely caught. “So why are you holding back so much?”

“I’m scared to jump,” the words fell from her mouth quickly and she couldn’t take them back. It was out there now. Brooke’s eyes softened immediately.

“You need to.”

“What if I drown?” Raleigh’s heart was racing. She could try, right? What was the worst thing that could happen? They didn’t have much in common, but did kind of enjoy the time they spent with each other. There was so much risk with opening herself up to him completely.

Brooke gave her an encouraging smile. “Then I’ll help you swim back to shore.”

**
She was grateful to return to work where she could easily push Brooke’s words from her mind. Casey jumped right back into the exhibits and Raleigh happily followed suit. She dreaded the commute home. A lot time of thinking time there. Going home was even worse. At least she had plenty to get started on tonight to keep her mind occupied there. She drudged herself into the kitchen where she collapsed onto a stool at, she looked at the microwave and groaned, 7:14 PM. It was an exhausting, but exhilarating day, reminding her of why she loved history, as she was one on one with several exhibits. She tugged her phone from her purse to view the messages she knew she had missed on the way home. Two from Brooke, checking in on her. She was tapping out a response when Quinn crossed the kitchen for the refrigerator.

Scraping against the counter distracted her. “Your sister left a plate in the fridge for you.”

“Huh?” She glanced up from her phone and caught sight of the plate, filled with green beans, potatoes and grilled chicken. “Oh, thanks.”

“First day went well?” She heard a can crack open.

“Really well.” She stuck the plate in the microwave above the stove and pushed a few buttons before turning to face him.

“How’s your friend?” He was teasing her. Don’t let him bait you.

“Brooke? She’s good.” She rummaged through the silverware drawer, pulling out a fork and knife and then went to retrieve a bottle of iced tea from the refrigerator.

“Nope.” He took a sip of his drink and grinned. “The other one.”

“Tristan’s good, too.”

“Luka,” he hinted. She turned to face the microwave, smoothing her hands over her gray slacks as she waited.

“Wouldn’t know.” She shrugged, taking the plate from the microwave. Because you won’t talk to him.

“No?” he questioned, an impish tone to his voice.

“And on that note, I’m taking this to my room. Have a good night, Quinn.” She tossed her bag over her shoulder and picked the plate back up. Rounding the corner, a thought occurred to her. You could ask Quinn what he thinks. She shook her head and propelled herself forward. No way.

After changing into a light pink cami and pink polka dotted PJ pants, she settled herself in the center of her queen-sized bed. She surrounded herself with a notebook, pen, two journals she had borrowed from work, laptop and her dinner. She set the tea and phone on her nightstand. An hour into her reading, she rubbed her eyes. The day was wearing on her. It wasn’t even just the stress of her new position, the emotional roller coaster she had been on since lunch was exhausting. Luka. Everything Brooke had said, there was just no way. But everything she had said made sense. Raleigh shook her head and began jotting down notes again.

She can’t be right, her mind began to wander again. She reached back and snatched her phone. She brought up the messages from him.

‘Hope you first day is good. You be fine. :)’ She actually smiled when she saw that after she had gotten out of the shower. His English was choppy over text, but still made sense.

‘Thanks. I’m a little nervous. Pre-game jitters. ;)’ She had tapped that back quickly, without thinking. She had thought he’d appreciate the sports humor.

‘Ha. You be fine. I have faith.’ She hadn’t sent anything back, but she had gone to work with a pep in her step. Oh my God. I really am stupid. She stared at the screen. ‘I have faith.’ Not ‘you’ have faith. ‘He’ had faith in you. You messed this up, Raleigh. You really mucked this one up good.

She tried to write something, anything, but she couldn’t find the words. She had to talk to him. But what the hell was she going to say? She attempted four different messages before finally giving up and sending nothing. She set the phone down next to her and stared blankly at the computer screen. Just keep working. She forced herself through another hour of reading before giving up. Laying back on her pillow, she read the messages one last time, her eyes drifting shut as she read the last sentence again. One final thought ran through her head before her mind shut off completely. You don’t want to be just his friend.

Her phone’s alarm woke her from a dreamless sleep early the next morning. She sat up slowly and surveyed her bed. She hadn’t cleaned up anything the night before. She was relieved to see her laptop still sitting on her bed. At least she hadn’t kicked it off. She collected everything on her bed, putting it all in a neat pile, her phone on top. She eyed it suspiciously as she wandered around her room getting ready. She spent her entire shower trying to figure out what to say to him. Towel wrapped around her, she finally picked it up and tapped out a message. ‘First day went well. Ready for round 2. Enjoy your last day of summer vacation. ;)’

She reread it again, hoping it wasn’t terribly lame. Reluctantly, she hit send and tried to finish getting ready without constantly checking her phone for a response. At one point she let out an annoyed sigh. “Stop acting like you’re 12. He’s busy.” She somehow managed to get herself dressed and hair twisted into a braid behind her. She wanted to make toast for breakfast, but stomach was in knots. She couldn’t even think about food.

There was a ting from her phone as she was heading to her black Nissan Maxima. She nearly dropped her phone trying to free it so quickly from her bag. Her heart thudded as she stared at his name and went still when she read the message. ‘Glad. Have good day.’

That was it? Her stomach dropped as she took in the entire situation. Yes, she had messed up. How was she going to fix this? She wasn’t going to see him until next Tuesday. It was going to be a long week.

She collapsed into the driver’s seat and let her head drop against the steering wheel, tossing her phone and purse onto the passenger seat. “I think you enjoy torturing yourself,” she muttered as she fumbled putting the key into the ignition. There was another ting from her phone. Her head shot up and she reached timidly for her phone.

‘So, can I tempt you with lunch sometime this week?’

Her fingers gingerly tapped the keys. ‘Of course.’

‘Great. Problem if I just come over to the museum?’ She was about to type in a response when a second text came through. ‘We’re at CEC on Thursday. I can just come over before I head home.’

‘Sounds great. Just send me a text when you get there. I’ll come down and get you.’

The response was almost immediate. ‘Can’t wait. :)’

She felt light again. The burden of the mess with Luka didn’t weigh down on her quite so heavily now. ‘Me, too. :)’ she answered truthfully.

If nothing else, she at least had lunch with Matty to look forward to now.