Photographs

I walked into the local public library and walked up to the front desk, “Hi, I’d like to get a library card so I may use the computers and old town records?” I said to the lady behind the desk who handed me a form to sign. “Thank you...”

I turned and sat on a small children’s plastic chair focusing on the paper in my hands. I filled it out to the best of my knowledge and walked back to the counter I handed it over to the lady who frowned at the paper.

“Ma’am, you forgot to enter your address...” The woman said sweetly I looked at her kindly and bit my lip. “I don’t have an address right now, I’m looking for family in the area that’s why I need the card and computer...”

I saw the woman’s eyes light up as she scanned the paper more, “Sarah Sullivan? I like that name...” The woman said I smiled at her agreeing with her. I too liked my name the last name Sullivan is the one I chose when I left the orphanage.

“You remind me of my high school best friend you look a lot like her.” The woman said sweetly as she entered my name and information into her desk top I blinked at her and leaned over the desk. “I do?”

“Yeah, we were really close until she met a boy then we stopped talking slowly.” The woman smiled fondly at the memories.

I bit my lip and looked around the empty library, “was her name Maggie?” I asked I wasn’t getting my hopes up but I did want to know if this woman knew my mother or anything about my family.

The woman turned her gaze up from the computer, “It was… How did you know?”

My heart dropped into my stomach then jumped back up into my throat, “I’m her daughter…”

“That’s not possible dear, she doesn’t have children.” The lady said watching me closely as I dug into my pocket for the two pictures I held them up to her so she could see them.

“These are my parents Maggie and Jimmy…” I told her and watched as she narrowed her eyes to get a closer look at the picture then look at me like she’d seen a ghost.

“I can’t believe it… Honey you’re in the wrong town if you’re looking for your parents...”

My face fell and looked at her as she said Huntington Beach is the last location she knew for my mother and father. “Oh…” I sighed out as she said this and looked down sadly.

“What’s wrong?” She asked when she noticed how sad I was.

“I have no way of getting there or anywhere for that matter.” I said and shook my head sadly “I spent all the money I had saved up just to get here.”

“I’ll take you to Huntington Beach honey.” The woman said and I looked at her.

“You’d take me?” I asked as the tears filled my eyes I smiled at her and moved out of the way of another person I moved and sat behind the desk with the nice woman who I learned was called Angie.

I stayed with the woman while she finished her shift she looked at the time, “Alright honey, we won’t be able to make it there tonight but I will take you first thing in the morning you can come home to my house with me tonight.”

I looked at her and smiled, “I’d owe you forever.” I said to her as she helped me grab my bags and get into her car.

“You owe me nothing dear.” Angie said to me and I smiled buckling my seat belt as we made our way to her home I observed the scenery, California was different then where I’d been for the last 18 years.

“You look like you’ve never seen California before.” Angie joked I smiled over in her direction.

“I haven’t…Maggie and Jimmy had me when they were only 14 and 15, so they gave me up for adoption and in my letter Jimmy wanted me to come find him when I was old enough.” I told her and smiled widely. “I’ve been living in Seattle for the last 18 years.”

“Seattle? Is it really rainy there all the time?” Angie asked me I smiled at her and shook my head no as we pulled up to her home.

“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked as I slowly got out of her car she took my bags from me and tugged me inside. “Of course I’m sure come in and meet my sons and my husband.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat I was never good at meeting new people I slowly walked into her home as she called out for her family to come into the living area to meet someone. I stood by her and folded my hands in front of my jacket. I saw three boys walk in one looked about 6 the others about 15 or 16 years old.

“Sarah, These are my sons Alex who’s 15, Jack who’s 12 and Aiden who’s 6.” Angie said and turned smiling when her husband wrapped her up in his arms. I couldn’t help but sigh pretending this could’ve been my life.

“Sarah this is John my husband.” Angie said putting her hand on his chest. I smiled trying to find my voice which had vanished as if some little creature inside my throat grabbed my vocal cords and tied them into a jumbled knot.

“Sarah, it’s nice to meet you. You must be shy…” John spoke to me I nodded my head as best as I could. I knew I probably looked like crap sitting on a bus for hours, no make up my hair a mess my clothes stale and my eyes I knew they were blood shot.

“Alex show Sarah to the guest room upstairs and the bathroom so she can freshen up.” Angie said and pushed me towards her son. I slowly walked towards him and followed him up the stairs.

“So what caused my mom to bring you home?” Alex said as he kicked the door to what I assumed was the guest bedroom

“She uh, knows my mother and father.” I said nervously as I watched the boy set one of my bags on the queen size bed I watched him open a door, “The bathroom is through there.” He said to me and left me in the room.

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked around once I was alone I inhaled I could hear echoes in the hallway. Their voices traveling from downstairs. Angie explaining who I was and why she wanted to help me. The husband being all for it but the sons saying it was stupid to bring a stranger into the house.

I slowly washed my face off and freshened up a little bit. This family seemed like the perfect suburban family. Mother, Father, Three Sons relatively close in age. Why couldn’t I have been born into a family like this? Why did I have to be alone in this world?

Dinner came quickly that night I got to sit at the table with a loving family and listen to their banter back and forth I was happy just to be a part of it as a guest.

“So Sarah, how was your journey from Seattle was it pleasant?” John asked as he shoved some food into his mouth. I took the last chews of my bite I looked at the man.

“Oh, it was... Interesting.” I said smiling at him sweetly.

“Interesting? Did something happen?” Angie asked I could hear the worry in her voice it confused me for a second.

“Oh no, I just met this guy on the bus he was very nice but talked a lot about his personal life. As if it didn’t bother him at all.” I said as I played lightly with my fork.

Angie smiled at me. “He must have liked you,”

I blushed at the thought and shook my head quickly. I didn’t know the guy, he didn’t know me it wasn’t possible for someone to like me at first glance. I finished dinner and stood up I took all their plates from the table and walked into the kitchen to start washing them.

“You don’t have to do that Sarah.” John said from behind me as I started washing the dishes.

“I want to.” I said politely.

Once I had finished with the dishes I made my way upstairs to the guest room sitting on the edge of the bed I looked at the pictures I had of my parents and lightly touched their names. I wanted to find them so badly, I needed to find them or I’d be alone in the world and never know my story. I didn’t want to be the kid who nobody wanted. I didn’t want that to be the only story I’d ever have.