Photographs

“Let me take you home?” Jimmy asked once the party had died down I smiled a little. I glanced towards Johnny who smiled warmly at me I leaned over and gave his cheek a sweet little peck. I told him I’d text him a little later in the evening. Following my fathers lead out of the nice house I got into his fancy car. I really didn’t know what to say to him anymore I cried, I laughed, I felt some sort of closure.

“I want to get to know you.” Jimmy spoke finally as we waited at a stop light. I glanced at him nodding my head once. I wanted to know him too, meet the man who wrote those words on the paper that I clung to for most of my life.

“You can get to know me. I’m not leaving California, I’m going to make a life here so I can get to know you. See where you and mom grew up. I want to know everything about your life and hers.” I said to him tucking some hair behind my ear looking at him with a wide smile.

“I will gladly tell you anything you need to know about your mom and I.” Jimmy said I felt my heart throb in my chest. From the few hours I’d known my father I came to the conclusion that my heart was going to explode from all the joy I felt inside. My palms were sweaty and my mouth felt like a desert in the summer. I felt like I was going to throw up and die…

In a good way I mean.

The car came to a stop in front of my grandpa’s house. I slowly got out of the car and smiled wide as he got out too. He wanted to stay and talk to me?

“I’m not sure how this is going to work just yet.” I said honestly to him breaking the silence as we stood in my grandpa’s driveway. I didn’t know if Grandpa liked Jimmy or not. I didn’t know if I’d live with him or grandpa. I just didn’t know much right at this point.

“We’ll work things out, I’ll do whatever you feel comfortable with Sarah. I just want to be in your life.” Jimmy said to me and looked over as my grandpa opened the door. I saw a wide smile on my dad’s face as well as on my grandpa’s. Thank god they do like each other.

“James look at you. How are you doing son?” I heard my grandpa ask as he approached us. “How’d you find Sarah?” He then asked I toned out their conversation as I played with some loose strands of my hair. I normally did this when my anxiety was at its worse. It was a tell of mine those who knew me well enough could spot it from a mile away.
“Sarah?” I snapped out of my gaze looking up at my dad I smiled at him. “You okay bud?” He added I saw the concern in his eyes I must’ve gazed out too long. I nodded and followed him and my grandpa into the house. Taking a seat on the couch I saw them start chatting again to catch up most likely.

I looked at my feet then stood up walking into the kitchen. I dug through the cabinets and found everything I needed to make a s’mores hot chocolate that my caregiver had taught me to make.

As I walked back out with the three mugs I stuttered to speak. “I,I,I made this for us. It’s a uh, a s’mores hot chocolate.” I set them down on the table by my grandpa and father.

“Where’d you find powdered hot chocolate?” My grandpa asked me I just laughed at him.

“I made this from scratch…”

“From scratch?” My dad asked picking up his mug. I nodded in response to my dad as I watched him take a sip. I couldn’t help but smile as he licked his lips. “Wow Sarah this is amazing, you’re good at making this.”

“Thanks, I’ve had lots of practice.” I said and sat next to him drinking my mug of hot chocolate. “I used to make this for my roommate at the orphanage and my little friend.” I said looking down at my almost empty cup.

“This is amazing.” My grandpa said and squeezed my knee. I smiled at them and looked down as they began to talk again. No doubt they were discussing my living arrangements and such. I couldn’t figure out why anyone would actually want me living with them. For so long I tried to get out of the place I was in to start taking care of myself but now I had two family members fighting over who’d get me. It was an amazing feeling.