Nebulous

Here

Lila went home that night, uncertain of her next moves.

She had left Sam and Naomi at the diner, after telling them which motels were best to stay at. She wished that she had been able to offer them a place to stay, but having remained in her parents’ home, that wasn’t an option.

Lila wished more than ever that she had picked up the remnants of her old life upon returning. She wished she had continued on with finding her own place. But even as she wished these things, she knew she wouldn’t have been able to cope, knew that the depression she had been denying would overcome her eventually. At least here at home, she was safe. She wasn’t alone.

There had been hesitation when she had parted ways with Sam that evening. She had hugged him again, buried her face in the familiar warmth of his chest. She had felt his arms around her, pulling her closer and reminding her that they were here, together. Lila had known that no one would understand their connection like they did. When she had stepped away from Sam, she couldn’t help but notice the way Naomi had looked away, like she had accidentally witnessed something indecent, intimate.

“Hi honey,” her mom greeted her when she entered the kitchen. She was washing dishes. “How was your day? Are you hungry?”

“No, I’m fine,” Lila answered. “I just ate actually.”

“With Evan?”

“Um, no, actually,” she said. “Mom, this is hard to explain. I ran into someone I know… His name is Sam, and he was with me when I went missing.”

She heard something thud back into the sink and her mom turned around.

“What do you mean he was with you when you were missing?” her mom questioned. “Are you remembering what happened?”

“I… Kind of,” Lila responded quietly. She sat down at the kitchen table, and she watched as her mom dried her hands on a towel and came to sit with her. “I’ve been having these dreams, which I now realize are memories of when I was missing. And I just… I remembered Sam the most. He was always there to comfort me.”

She looked up to her mom’s eyes to see concern there.

“He wasn’t…” her mom started, before continuing, “He wasn’t the one who took you was he?”

“No,” Lila said, sitting up straighter. “No, I know it wasn’t him. He had been having dreams like mine and he found this blog I’ve been keeping online and came to meet me and the moment I saw him I just felt relief. The moment I saw him I just thought that maybe things might be okay again.”

They sat in silence and Lila knew that her mom didn’t know what to say.

“I know you’re looking for answers,” her mom finally said. “I really hope that this Sam will help you find what you’re looking for.”

“I hope so too,” Lila answered. She stood up from the table preparing to go up to her room. Her mom stood up too and quickly wrapped her arms around her daughter.

“I love you so much it hurts sometimes, Lila,” she said quietly. “I want you to be happy and safe, so do whatever you need to make sure that happens.”

“I love you too, Mom,” she replied, tightening her arms around her mother.

Lila was beginning to feel like her life was hers again, and she smiled.
♠ ♠ ♠
Super short, but better than nothing-- right?

~Sally