Then I Found You

They say the best things in life happens when you least expect it.

Pregnancy

Love

Success

But the worst things in life can also happen when you least expect it , when you're not prepared for it to happen , it happens.

I've been awake for less than an hour , and so far the guys have been in here only leaving when Matt gave them a look I caught , although he wanted it to be subtle and them him sitting down on my bed , with his face scrunched up in nerves.

"What's wrong baby? Your hands are sweaty."

"You know I love you right?"

I frowned and nodded my head. "I know. I love you too."

Matt closed his eyes , his lip started to quiver.

"You know I'll never do anything to hurt you , deliberately?"

"Matt what's going on?"

"Please answer me." he whispered and I nodded "I know you'll never hurt me on purpose. Tell me what's wrong , you're scaring me"

Matt frowned and I saw a tear slip from his hazel eyes.

"I've been lying to you...about what I do."

"What?"

"I..I..I'm n-not ... I'm not the boss of a clothing store. I..I don't even own a clothing store."

"Okay?" I was still confused. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"I..uh... I am a boss , but of something entirely different."

"Matt stop beating around the bush , just tell me"

His jaw clenched as his hands held mine tightly like he was afraid I'd slip away.

"I am..." he sigh loudly ,and then shook his head , "the guys and I..the guys and I are part of the Mob. We.."

"What?" I asked , my voice growing a bit louder. "You're...what?"

"We're part of the Mob. I'm the leader , and we're pretty high ranked"

"You're part of the Mob? as in the Mafia? the drugs , the human trafficking , murder?"

"Babe.."

"Get out." Was all I said , my voice cold and unforgiving.

"Baby please" I ripped my hand out of his trembling ones and watched his face crumble in sadness.

Seeing him crying made me start to cry.

"Riss , please I beg you. Let me explain"

"Please just go Matt. I can't. I can't look at you now , I can't."

"I'm not leaving" he yelled , "not until I explain"

"Okay." I said harshly. "Explain. Go on , explain how you lied to my face for the past 4 years. Explain how you could sell and rape women. Women like me! Explain Matt. Come on explain it to me!"

Matt stayed silent. His head was now buried in his hands but in the small openings of his fingers I could see tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm..I'm so sorry baby." he whispered as the tears kept rolling down , "I love you so fucking much and I didn't want to lose you. I knew I'd lose you if I told you the truth. I'm so sorry."

"You're right." I whispered. His head shot up.

"Wh-what?"

"You're right , you did lose me. I need time Matt , it's too much to handle. I just... I need time"

Matt's eyes went wide , his mouth agape. Basically he looked as though I told him his mom just died.

"No. Marissa , baby , please. Please. I know I fucked up , I know I made a mistake but baby please don't leave me."

I cried , "I'm sorry Matty. I really am. I love you..."

He cut me off , "I love you too baby!"

"I know you do" I whispered , "but you need to give me time to process this okay?"

My cold exterior faltered when I heard the sadness and hurt in his beautiful voice.

"I'm not breaking up with you okay? I just.. I need to process this."

"You're not breaking up with me?" his voice was meek , almost scared.

"I'm not. But you need to give me space and time"

"How long baby? I can't lose you forever , I really fucking can't."

"I don't know. Until I'm ready. Please just go now Matt okay?"

"Can we.." he grabbed my hands again , but his actions were hesitant. "Can we still...talk? On the phone I mean."

"Not everyday , but we can yeah"

Matt nodded , his head falling and his eyes closed , "I love you so much Maris. I promise I'll wait for you. I promise I will."

"I'll wait for you too Matty. I love you."

"Love you too bab-Maris."

He kissed my cheek , his lips lingering on the wet cheek.

He then up and left the room , and when he disappeared I let my guard down and cried like never before.

One thing was for sure :

I needed to be tough. For my own sake.

I know I'd forgive him in a flash , but I also know that it isn't the way.

I needed to be strong.

I needed to be.