We Might Just Be

48: This Mess Is Ours

“Do you feel any better this morning?” Antonella quipped as she placed a mug of coffee ahead of the defender, offering him a polite smile. It had taken a while, Gerard had cried a little before they had been able to set him up in the spare room, but Antonella was pleased to see him up and about. Part of her had worried that he would mope around for most of the day. Gerard smiled and nodded. “A little” he commented “Thank you for bringing me back here last night. God knows where I would have ended up otherwise” he noted. He was embarrassed, his friends had seen him in a state that he was not proud of, but he was grateful to them. If Lionel and Antonella hadn’t shown up when they had, there was no telling where he would have ended up.

Antonella shook her head. “It wasn’t a problem” she commented.

Gerard offered her another smile before he turned his head back down to the paper that he had been reading.

Antonella watched him for a second before she padded into the living room, collecting her mobile from the side. She knew it wasn’t her place, Imelda and Gerard had made a decision and she had no rights to question it, but it was clear that the defender was miserable without her, even if he tried not to be. He hadn’t been the same in the four weeks that had passed since Imelda had moved out. Sparing a little look into the kitchen, she placed the phone against her ear and let out a little sigh, hoping she could convince Imelda to at least talk to Gerard.

~#~
Rubbing her bump gently, Imelda tapped her hand against the door ahead of her, a little nervous about the thought of seeing Gerard. She hadn’t wanted to come, the thought of seeing him still made her uncomfortable, but when Antonella had explained how she had found him the night before, she had been left with little choice. She knew he was upset, it had been evident every time their paths had crossed following their break-up, but she hadn’t expected him to try and move on from her so soon. It was a selfish thought, but she had thought it would take him longer to move on from her. She was still nowhere ready to move on from him and she had thought it would take him even longer to get over her.

“You made it” Antonella mused as she pulled the door open.

Imelda nodded. “You said he was in a bad way” she murmured “I can’t just ignore that” she added, her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt nervously.

Antonella smiled at her gently and ushered her inside, cooing about the size of her bump. “You look so good Im, especially for a girl who is coming up on six months” she mused.

Imelda smiled at her shyly before she rounded the corner into the living room where Gerard sat, laughing at something that Thiago had said. “Gerard?” Antonella posed as Imelda moved to shy behind her a little. The defender, who had been playing blocks with Thiago, looked up, his blue eyes instantly softening as they landed on his pregnant ex. “Im?” he murmured “Im, what are you doing here?” he added, his hands pushing him up off of the floor.

Imelda swallowed. “Anto…You got…She said you were in a bad place” she stammered.

Gerard sighed and spared a glance towards Antonella who nodded at him encouragingly, something which made him a little. He couldn’t be mad at the woman who was trying to help him. “Anto, could you and Thiago give us a moment?” he noted. Antonella nodded and collected her son, padding out of the room.

Imelda watched them out of the room before she turned her head, her green eyes studying him closely. Gerard looked right back at her and smiled. “You’re glowing” he mused, trying to start a conversation.

Imelda smiled shyly. “People keep saying that. I just think I look fat” she murmured, her hand subconsciously rubbing the bump beneath her shirt. Gerard shook his head. “You look beautiful, heck, you always do, but even more so with the bump. You’re 23 weeks now right?” he quipped.

Imelda nodded. “You’re still counting?” she posed, referring to the days that stood between them and the due date for their son.

“Of course. I mark each day on the calendar” he mused, his blue eyes peeking at her shyly.

Imelda smiled before a little silence fell over them.

“I miss you” he murmured.

“Gerard…”

“No” Gerard interjected “Let me speak” he added, his eyes staring at her.

Imelda closed her mouth and nodded, her arms folding over her chest.

“I am an idiot, I let the best thing that ever happened to me walk away and I have spent the last four weeks regretting it for every second. You’re the love of my life Immy, the best thing I ever had and I hate that you aren’t mine anymore. You’re all I can think about, I lay awake thinking about you and everything that you mean to me and I can’t move on. Last night, I was so close to getting with another girl and then I went and said your name. Imelda, I am sorry that our ideas for the future don’t line up, but I cannot just pretend that you don’t matter or that I am over it. I love you, I miss you, and I will do whatever it is you want to make sure that I leave this house knowing that we are back together” he whispered, his voice laden with an emotion that Imelda couldn’t quite place.

“Gerard” she whispered.

The defender shook his head. “If you are going to tell me that nothing has changed, save it. I just wanted you to know that I miss you and that I can’t get over it” he muttered.

Imelda sighed and placed her hand on his cheek, gently brushing away the few loose tears that had somehow snuck out of his eyes. “Mi amor” she murmured “I miss you too” she admitted.

“You haven’t seemed like it” Gerard replied “When we were are the hospital, you seemed so happy…”

“Because I thought I had to be. I didn’t want to make things worse. I am as upset as you are” she insisted, her thumb skimming over his skin.

Gerard lifted his hand and covered hers, cuddling it to his face. “Then why are we not together” he murmured “Surely it is better than being apart” he added.

“It hasn’t changed” she murmured.

“Then let’s working on changing it” he replied shortly “Working on it seems to make a lot more sense than being miserable Immy” he murmured “I can’t make promises, but I can try. Immy, is that enough for you?” he posed.

Imelda looked up at him, something which made him lean down, pressing his lips to hers. Imelda sighed at the touch and wrapped her arms around him, holding onto him like he was her security blanket. Gerard smiled and hugged her close. “This is our mess Im” he murmured gently “And I want to try to fix it. Please?” he whispered, brushing her dark hair off her face.

Imelda swallowed, noting the vulnerability on his face.

“Please, Immy” he murmured, resting his forehead on hers.

Imelda sighed. “We can try” she murmured, stressing the word ‘try’.

Gerard smiled and wrapped her in his arms. Trying was better than just giving up.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 for the comments :)