The Last Time

Mallory groaned and aimlessly swatted around for her phone which was both buzzing and beeping at the same time.

“For fucks sake...” she angrily muttered, finally opening her eyes long enough for her to grab her phone from the table and turn the alarm off. She let her head drop back down and covered her face with her hands, “I’m gonna kill him...” she groaned at the thought of being up a whole hour earlier than she normal wakes up.

With a heaving sigh she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and finally rolled off of the couch to start her morning routine of getting ready. Social Media. Coffee. Shower. Make up, clothes and more coffee for good measure. Mallory clicked on the instagram app on her phone and lazily scrolled through the updates, casually liking her friends pictures of cute puppies, tasty cocktails and fun outings. Her thumb hovered over the heart of Jack Barakat’s latest update, a picture of him with cocktails in both hands and a petite blonde girl kissing his cheek while he made a silly face, typical Jack.

However, it was what was in the background that truly got her attention. Alex.

Her Alex.

Her Alex with his right hand cradling a brunettes cheek and their faces only inches apart. Mallory felt herself begin to choke, she gasped for breath but couldn’t manage to fill her lungs with enough oxygen. Her phone clattered to the floor with a loud thump and the fragile screen cracked, though at the moment that was the least of her worries. She closed her eyes and counted to ten in her head, aiming to get her breaths to match the rhythm of her counting until she felt like she could breathe again.

Without a second thought, Mallory trudged up the stairs to her bedroom and pulled a wrapped box that contained her seventh anniversary present for Alex out from under her bed. The gift for seven years is copper, Mallory got Alex a hand made copper guitar pick stamped with “I pick you” and a pair of tickets to see Third Eye Blind on their summer tour. Mallory had always had a knack for cheesy but meaningful gifts, she truly believed the thought behind a gift meant much more than anything money could buy.

She sat on the bed with the gift in her lap, her fingers numbly traced the intricate silver swirls of the wrapping paper. She could fill the tears begin to trace down her cheeks but couldn’t bring herself to wipe them away this time, she felt an aching in heart that she had never felt before; like every part of her was breaking. She stayed put even when she heard the front door open and stayed silent when the man that caused her tears called out to her.

“Babe?” Alex called out, checking the downstairs floor for his girlfriend but not seeing her anywhere.

“Mal?” He called again as he took the stairs two at a time.

“Mallory?” He called a final time as he entered the bedroom, his voice falling flack as he took in the sight in front of him. He rushed over to the side of the bed and fell to his knees, his hands took the present from Mallory’s grasp and set it aside, taking her hands in his hold instead.

“Mal, what’s wrong?”

Mallory pulled her hands from his grasp leaving Alex to just silently stare at her in confusion.

“babe--”

“Don’t...” Mallory hissed out causing Alex to raise his hands in defense.

Mallory finally lifted her head to look at him, her green eyes made contact with his dark chocolate eyes. His swam with confusion and concern while hers showed only sadness. Mallory broke their staring contest and once again grabbed the present, though this time she offered it to Alex. He hesitantly took the box from her grasp and began to unwrap it while Mallory worked up the courage to speak.

“I love you.” Mallory whispered.

Alex paused mid-rip and began to repeat the phrase back to her, but Mallory cut him off “please...just listen” she urged.

Alex bit his lip and nodded his head, confusion swam in his mind. He had never seen Mallory so distant and hard, at least not towards him. This wasn’t the girl he had fallen in love with, it was like sitting in a room with a stranger.

“I love you” she choked out. “I love how you get excited about the nerdiest things. I love how kind you are. I love your dimples and how your eyes crinkle at the sides when you smile. I love your strong hands and your calloused fingers. I love your open heart and gentleness. I love you so much that I can’t even comprehend it most days.” Mallory paused to wipe the streaming tears from her face and held back the sob that sat in her chest.

Alex ached to hold her in his arms and reassure her that whatever doubts she had in her head to bring this out were just that, doubts and nothing more. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how he would give up everything he has if it meant he could have her for the rest of his days. He finished unwrapping the present while Mallory composed herself, his fingers traced over the words on the copper pick and he smiled just the slightest as he thought of just how Mallory like the gift was. He hadn’t even gotten through the rest of the gift before Mallory was speaking again and his attention was once again devoted to her.

“Copper is the gift for seven years.” Mallory whispered offhand and Alex closed his eyes. His left hand rubbed across his face in defeat at the realization that he had forgotten their anniversary. The guilt puddled in his stomach as he realized he had canceled their anniversary dinner plans to go party with his band mates.

“Mallory...I’m sorry. You have to believe me, I’ll make it up to you...” Alex promised but it fell on empty ears, lately his promises didn’t mean very much to Mallory.

Mallory closed her eyes and shook her head, “the girl in the picture, did she make you happy?”

Alex dropped the copper pick and tugged at his hair, this wasn’t how his day was supposed to go at all. “Mal, it wasn’t...it’s not....nothing happened” Alex stammered out.

“I want you to be happy, ‘Lex, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” Mallory quavered, the lump that started in her stomach had worked it’s way up through her chest and settled in her throat.

She felt nauseous at the idea of leading a life that didn’t involve Alex, but she would do anything to assure his own happiness even if it meant giving up her own. Alex broke their eye contact and stared down at the pic in his hands. His mind was muddled in it’s hungover state and he wasn’t prepared to answer Mallory’s loaded questions. He wasn’t unhappy with Mallory, he didn’t think that would ever be possible, but lately their relationship had become so predictable and he ached for a new taste of excitement.

Mallory pursed her lips at his silence and nodded her head, the tears on her cheeks had begun to dry but she wiped them away despite that.

“I’ll bring some boxes back from work tonight.” Mallory murmured, more to herself than to Alex as a mental note that they would have to get all of their things sorted and to their respective homes.

Alex’s head snapped up when Mallory stood up and crossed the room, his eyes watched her open a few drawers to pull out a few articles of clothing before she was pulling a blazer and a pencil skirt off of the hangers from her side of the closer. He silently watched as she got dressed and abandoned her worn clothes into the laundry basket. He felt like he was in a bad dream that he couldn’t wake up from as he watched his relationship end right before his eyes.

‘What are you doing?” Alex questioned, his voice quavered this slightest and tears pricked at the corner of his eyes.

Mallory turned her head to look at him while she buttoned her blouse and pulled on her maroon blazer “I have to go to work” she reiterated. With a fleeting glance, she left Alex sitting on the floor as she wandered into the bathroom to finish getting ready. As the door closed she leaned her back against it and let the lump that lodged itself in her esophagus out in the form of a strangled, quiet sob. Alex sat on the floor, the tears had finally begun to fall as he unwrapped the rest of his gift. He felt his heart break at the sight of the two concert tickets, for years they said they would see Third Eye Blind together after a drunken night in a karaoke bar when the pair had started a bar wide sing-a-long to “Jumper.” He made a promise to himself in that very moment that he would fix all of it, he would prove to Mallory that she was and would always be his happiness.