Numb

She aches to feel pain, she aches to feel sadness, she aches to feel anything, so tired of this numbness that rumbles in her core and spreads through her vitals like wild fire. She aches, she craves, and not even his touch can enlighten her now. She hates it. She hates not feeling anything where once she consumed joy like it was ever lasting. One sentence, it took once sentence to rip her down to the most innocent and frightened part of her.

“But have you seen her body?”

It rang over, and over, and over… all her demons shouting at once. Useless, pathetic, ugly, fat…

God, he loved her, and well fuck, she loved him to, she fell in love with him in the scariest of ways, slowly like a predator awaiting its prey. She was the prey, love the predator and fuck; she felt so much when it hit her.

It was a blinding light that struck like a frying pan behind her head, covering her sights with speckle of stars and glow. It was horrible. She didn’t want it. She didn’t need it. She didn’t want to want him, but she did, oh fuck she did and then she crumbled.

Piece by piece she got torn down, by vicious words that rang about the memories she hid so far beneath rubbles of her mind.

Numb.

So. Damn. Numb.

So useless…

Oh how she ached for heartache.

She wished he could rip her heart from her ribcage and end it all, but he was not like that. He was wonderful, and she was so utterly numb.