Numb

Even with the sound of the fan, the silence between them rang loudly, it was deafening. She could feel the tears stinging at her eyes and her heart losing bits. If this was a cartoon, she'd be in the middle of a dark empty room and red velvet pieces of her heart would land in the emptiness greyed out.

This is it. She gives up. Everything she does or says comes to bite her right in the butt anyways.

In a broken voice she says: "I give up on this. You win. You can do whatever the fuck you want."

She didn't mean it of course, she wanted him to pick her, but he kept quiet. It was a loud scream and she bit her lip, fighting the urge to cry. Why can't she fall for someone who only wants her?

"Did you hear me, you get the freedom you so desperately want. I'm sorry I fucked up and took it awat to begin with. So take it, take the freedom I'll never get."

Now he looks up. "Why? Do you want to be free?"

"Unlike you, I don't need to fuck anyone else. You're enough."

"I don't know if that's an insult or not."

She shrugged.

"You look so defeated. I don't want to be the asshole boyfriend either."

She shrugged again. "Defeat is what comes with losing a battle. This is what you always wanted. So, if by next time I see you your phone's password is changed. I get it. You locked me out. You'll have freedom and I'll never bug you about anything or anyone. I give up."

He let out a rough sigh and turned away. "We'll talk about this later."

But she knew how this was going to end. Nobody ever chooses her, even he never really had. The one time he chose her was the day he asked her out. Before that and after her place was always last. She watched him drove away from her house and then shut the kitchen door, and as she walked towards gee bedroom the darkness began to take over. Her numbness resonating.

The tears sliding down her cheeks were barely even felt.