I'm the Last One That You'll Ever Remember
Chapter 114: Fury I Was Born With
Gerard didn't mean to propose marriage to Frankie the way he did at the dining table with their children as witnesses. Well, he did in a way he did it to assure him that he wasn't going to abandon him ever again from this day forward, but it wasn't done exactly in the romantic gestured way he would have preferred. But alas, it was all out in the open, and his entire family's reactions covered every single one of them. Frank was lost in the abyss of shock from hearing such a serious announcement that he was too besides himself to respond. Venetia was delighted at the prospect of a Disney princess wedding like in the movies and couldn't wait to plan the romantic occasion between her mother and...this man who strongly felt familiar to her. Lorenzo was deeply confused as if Gerard had just thrown out a calculus equation on him to solve. He didn't know how to take the information that was just flung out onto the table before them. Other than this weird but comforting deja-vu vibe he got from this stranger, he did not know the man, nor was aware his mother did either. Jasiah...well, he was laughing. What reason was he laughing, no one knew. He was laughing so hard his little face was pink and his eyes overflowing with tears of joy as he pointed to his mother. Everyone at the table could all agree that the young baby had no idea what was transpiring before him, and so they left him to enjoy himself.
Breakfast was clearly ruined after Gerard's abrupt confession. Now all that was left was to get Frank alone so he could come clean about everything that's transpired between them. Plus, there was so much left to be said between the two of them that they've never covered before such as their feelings for each other. Lifting his light brown eyes to stare at the almost catatonic Frank staring back at him in shock, he called out to him. “Frankie, we really need to talk about this.”
Frank could barely hear him, what with his little girl desperately tugging on the sleeve of his shirt in excitement. “Mommy, mommy! Can I beez da brid's may!? Or....or maybees da fower girl?” Unsure of which one to be, Venetia gave him a little shrug before coming to a decision. “Can I bees booth?”
Her tugging soon got him out of his impenetrable trance. He shook his head clear before glancing down at his daughter, trying not to be irritable with her for going along in support with Gerard's ridiculous scheme for she was just a baby who had misunderstood the whole situation. “Princess, let's not talk about this right now, okay? Mommy's getting a headache.”
“Well tin, when we tak abut it?” Venetia pouted, wanting to have her way like the spoiled princess she was.
“Frankie.” Gerard repeated, regaining his lover's attention but only for a limited amount of time. “We need to talk alone. It's important.”
Frank hesitated, not wishing to give this man what he craved at the moment...but he had to, if not for his kids then for himself at least. Now, it wasn't also because Gerard's beautiful light brown eyes were begging him to, no, it was because he was right, there was a lot to be discussed between the two of them. Now that Gerard knew that Lorenzo, Venetia, and Jasiah were all his biological children the rules to the game have been changed once again. Simply asking the man to leave might not be as easy of a task as before...not that it was all that easy to begin with. Gerard proved to be stubborn in the past when it came to his refusal to leave him alone every time he'd ask. Would raising his children send him running for the hills in the end this time or would he want to stay and see this through? Cursing beneath his breath, Frank turned his head to his left and right to remove his twins from their high chairs before addressing them both. “Lorenzo, Venetia, I need you two to go play with your toys in the living room for awhile. I have some adult things to discuss with...our guest here.”
“But I ditted get to has more!” Lorenzo whined with discontent, having inherited the Iero's bottomless pit that they genetically called their stomach. He'd normally have second helpings to every three meal of the day.
“An da webbing...” Venetia seconded with her own emotional cry. Her face was scrunched up with the threat to cry if the wedding wasn't discussed this very moment.
Frank was getting fed up with their resistance. On top of already having to deal with their incessant dad, now he also had to deal with his spoiled but beloved twins that seemed to inherit their dad's persistence. “DO AS I SAY NOW, OR ELSE YOU'LL BE GROUNDED TO YOUR ROOMS FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON! NOW GET A MOVE ON!”
The twins jumped at his stern intense tone before rushing into the living room all the while sniffling in preparation of the upcoming storm of tears. Because of his raging headache, Frank couldn't feel any remorse for his resounding tone of authority. Getting up from the table, Frank swooped his youngest out of his high chair and went to join the kids in the living room. “And don't even think about living this room until I get back!”
Gerard rose from his chair soon after and followed at a discreet distance. The last thing he wanted was to rile Frank up further than he already has. Not only was his mission to win his love's acceptance but also to keep things calm and collected for him as much as possible because he was carrying their future baby in his belly. As he came around the corner, he observed Frank setting the Lego movie up for a forlorn Venetia who sat on the floor with her dolls and a giant expensive looking doll castle that took up a whole corner of the already massive living room and Lorenzo who had a large customized hot wheel track set all set up that took even more room than that and was currently setting up a few customized cars to race with only one hand while he held a realistic customized light saber in his other hand. Both kids looked like their hearts had been ripped out of their chests, and would sniffle every now and again for being denied the thing they wanted most in that moment. Leaning against the doorway, Gerard watched them closely before his eyes drifted to Jasiah who sat swinging in his baby swinger. His eyes were closed as he nodded off.
“Now, I'll be back in a minute. And again do NOT move from this room, do you hear me?” Frank demanded, looking to his twins who obediently answered in small nods of despair. Sighing heavily, Frank strode past a waiting Gerard to put on his shoes and a coat before making his way through the backdoor that led onto the back patio that was designed with a bit of Italy in mind it seemed.
Straightening up, he leaves the kids to themselves to follow Frank outside of the house before closing the door behind him. Finally, they were face to face and alone. Finally he'd be able to tell his lover the truth and how he felt, if that even mattered at all to him. However, Gerard didn't get a chance to open his mouth. The second the back door closed Frank was on him with his own list of questions, his arms crossed over his chest. “What the fuck are you really up to, Poison!? Huh? What kind of bullshit are you now involving MY kids in!?”
“I'm not up to any bullshit whatsoever!” Gerard defended himself in a stern but soft voice. As controlled as he seemed to be on the outside, on the inside he was transforming from a calculating murderous individual to a soft and love struck version of himself he's never met before. “Unless you count spending the rest of my life with you as bullshit.”
Slamming his eyes shut, Frank turned his head away from Poison and covered his face with his hands. Why!? Why was Poison talking like this all of a sudden? What's with all the romantic words and adoring gazes? None of this made any sense! Poison wasn't like this?! He was kidnapper who tore people from their families, friends and everyday life. He was a murderer that took pleasure into making sure his victims never saw the light of day again. He was rapist who selfishly put his own sexual desires above his victim's wills and...and....and...made them feel sensually euphoric. Frank cringed at that mental slip up. He hadn't meant to think that way, and chose to blame it all on his pregnancy hormones raging through him again. He constantly thought about sex when he was pregnant. Taking a deep breath, he retracted his palms from his face and whispered out a hoarse inquiry. “...why?”
“It's because I'm in love with you, Frank Iero.” Gerard came clean, sticking his hands into his front pockets nervously before allowing his eyes to drop from his beloved's face to his combat boots. “Oddly, I've always had and know now that I always will.”
His confession clicked something within Frank, making him realize that those words were what he's been unknowingly waiting for for a long time. It was bittersweet though because as much as his heart rejoiced at the declaration of love from this man who was his kidnapper and ex-boyfriend, so many other things stood against it at the same time. He couldn't love this man, Gerard, or Poison, because they both ruined his life, and they both took many lives as well as his own. He was a killer through and through. They both were. Another realization realized, though this one caused his eyes to fill. Placing his hands back over his face, Frank let the tears fall as he turned his body away from Poison. He was too tired and weak to face him. Poison was always so strong and in control all the time even when he was Gerard, but Frank never could be. On trembling legs, Frank eased himself into the nearest chair of his patio furniture set his parents insisted on purchasing for him before they left him last. Drawing his legs up onto the cushion, he wrapped his arms around his legs and snuggled his face deeply against knees to shed his tears. He made sure to keep his volume down in case his children were listening.
Gerard made his move to sit on the same couch as Frank, except on the other end of it. He wouldn't close the distance between them just yet despite the fact his heart was racing in desperation to hold him and comfort him for all the pain he's suffered by his hand. “You've always known me as Poison from the Killjoy family that associated themselves with taking care of what we call 'the un-derservers' of life, but...I haven't always been this person...sort of. My real name is Gerard Arthur Way, I'm 27 years old and have been born and raised in New Jersey on April 9, 1977.” When Frank didn't respond but continued to silently cry, Gerard continued on, his eyes locked on the young man who's life he destroyed at the tender age of 15. Frank had to know everything there was about him, and that meant both good and bad. “I've always had...mental problems, I guess you can say. On top of being antisocial at a very young age, I...I was always trying to find ways to...hurt people, mostly kids my age at the time. Even when my little brother came around I tried to hurt him too such as trying to drop him down the stairs or out of the second story window. Nothing could seem to stop me then, not even all that medication and visits to the psychiatrists. My parents simply couldn't leave me alone with Michael and never did after I set his crib on fire with him in it.”
Frank visibly flinched at that and slowly raised his hazel eyes up to peer at Poison's cherry red head through his fringe. By this time Gerard was staring down at his hands he had clasped on his lap. “My parents were forced to home school me because of all the fights I'd get in on purpose just to spill any ounce of blood I could or hear the satisfying sound of bones breaking. I wasn't able to harm anyone anymore from home...and so I was reduce to the local wildlife in our neighborhood. At first I'd only hurt them and let them go to test things out...but then I wouldn't.” Gerard's voice lowered as he reminisce on the his first victim which was a white Pomeranian puppy fulled with love, happiness, and natural eagerness to please. He'd easily earned it's trust because puppies were trustful creatures, and led it into the woods behind his backyard where he stabbed it to death with a rusty screw driver he found buried by a creek. “Taking their innocent lives was the only thing that could satisfy this constant fury I was born with. Sadly, it never worked to dispel it completely. Killing animals could only appease it for a little bit before the hunger came back for more and strong than before.” Gerard exhaled loudly through his nose as he sat back in his seat and stared out at the beautiful sunny day. “The need to take lives was festering inside me at a fast rate I couldn't control and was becoming irresistible with each passing day it was becoming impossible to ignore. I knew even then that one of these days I'd have to face it...”
Breakfast was clearly ruined after Gerard's abrupt confession. Now all that was left was to get Frank alone so he could come clean about everything that's transpired between them. Plus, there was so much left to be said between the two of them that they've never covered before such as their feelings for each other. Lifting his light brown eyes to stare at the almost catatonic Frank staring back at him in shock, he called out to him. “Frankie, we really need to talk about this.”
Frank could barely hear him, what with his little girl desperately tugging on the sleeve of his shirt in excitement. “Mommy, mommy! Can I beez da brid's may!? Or....or maybees da fower girl?” Unsure of which one to be, Venetia gave him a little shrug before coming to a decision. “Can I bees booth?”
Her tugging soon got him out of his impenetrable trance. He shook his head clear before glancing down at his daughter, trying not to be irritable with her for going along in support with Gerard's ridiculous scheme for she was just a baby who had misunderstood the whole situation. “Princess, let's not talk about this right now, okay? Mommy's getting a headache.”
“Well tin, when we tak abut it?” Venetia pouted, wanting to have her way like the spoiled princess she was.
“Frankie.” Gerard repeated, regaining his lover's attention but only for a limited amount of time. “We need to talk alone. It's important.”
Frank hesitated, not wishing to give this man what he craved at the moment...but he had to, if not for his kids then for himself at least. Now, it wasn't also because Gerard's beautiful light brown eyes were begging him to, no, it was because he was right, there was a lot to be discussed between the two of them. Now that Gerard knew that Lorenzo, Venetia, and Jasiah were all his biological children the rules to the game have been changed once again. Simply asking the man to leave might not be as easy of a task as before...not that it was all that easy to begin with. Gerard proved to be stubborn in the past when it came to his refusal to leave him alone every time he'd ask. Would raising his children send him running for the hills in the end this time or would he want to stay and see this through? Cursing beneath his breath, Frank turned his head to his left and right to remove his twins from their high chairs before addressing them both. “Lorenzo, Venetia, I need you two to go play with your toys in the living room for awhile. I have some adult things to discuss with...our guest here.”
“But I ditted get to has more!” Lorenzo whined with discontent, having inherited the Iero's bottomless pit that they genetically called their stomach. He'd normally have second helpings to every three meal of the day.
“An da webbing...” Venetia seconded with her own emotional cry. Her face was scrunched up with the threat to cry if the wedding wasn't discussed this very moment.
Frank was getting fed up with their resistance. On top of already having to deal with their incessant dad, now he also had to deal with his spoiled but beloved twins that seemed to inherit their dad's persistence. “DO AS I SAY NOW, OR ELSE YOU'LL BE GROUNDED TO YOUR ROOMS FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON! NOW GET A MOVE ON!”
The twins jumped at his stern intense tone before rushing into the living room all the while sniffling in preparation of the upcoming storm of tears. Because of his raging headache, Frank couldn't feel any remorse for his resounding tone of authority. Getting up from the table, Frank swooped his youngest out of his high chair and went to join the kids in the living room. “And don't even think about living this room until I get back!”
Gerard rose from his chair soon after and followed at a discreet distance. The last thing he wanted was to rile Frank up further than he already has. Not only was his mission to win his love's acceptance but also to keep things calm and collected for him as much as possible because he was carrying their future baby in his belly. As he came around the corner, he observed Frank setting the Lego movie up for a forlorn Venetia who sat on the floor with her dolls and a giant expensive looking doll castle that took up a whole corner of the already massive living room and Lorenzo who had a large customized hot wheel track set all set up that took even more room than that and was currently setting up a few customized cars to race with only one hand while he held a realistic customized light saber in his other hand. Both kids looked like their hearts had been ripped out of their chests, and would sniffle every now and again for being denied the thing they wanted most in that moment. Leaning against the doorway, Gerard watched them closely before his eyes drifted to Jasiah who sat swinging in his baby swinger. His eyes were closed as he nodded off.
“Now, I'll be back in a minute. And again do NOT move from this room, do you hear me?” Frank demanded, looking to his twins who obediently answered in small nods of despair. Sighing heavily, Frank strode past a waiting Gerard to put on his shoes and a coat before making his way through the backdoor that led onto the back patio that was designed with a bit of Italy in mind it seemed.
Straightening up, he leaves the kids to themselves to follow Frank outside of the house before closing the door behind him. Finally, they were face to face and alone. Finally he'd be able to tell his lover the truth and how he felt, if that even mattered at all to him. However, Gerard didn't get a chance to open his mouth. The second the back door closed Frank was on him with his own list of questions, his arms crossed over his chest. “What the fuck are you really up to, Poison!? Huh? What kind of bullshit are you now involving MY kids in!?”
“I'm not up to any bullshit whatsoever!” Gerard defended himself in a stern but soft voice. As controlled as he seemed to be on the outside, on the inside he was transforming from a calculating murderous individual to a soft and love struck version of himself he's never met before. “Unless you count spending the rest of my life with you as bullshit.”
Slamming his eyes shut, Frank turned his head away from Poison and covered his face with his hands. Why!? Why was Poison talking like this all of a sudden? What's with all the romantic words and adoring gazes? None of this made any sense! Poison wasn't like this?! He was kidnapper who tore people from their families, friends and everyday life. He was a murderer that took pleasure into making sure his victims never saw the light of day again. He was rapist who selfishly put his own sexual desires above his victim's wills and...and....and...made them feel sensually euphoric. Frank cringed at that mental slip up. He hadn't meant to think that way, and chose to blame it all on his pregnancy hormones raging through him again. He constantly thought about sex when he was pregnant. Taking a deep breath, he retracted his palms from his face and whispered out a hoarse inquiry. “...why?”
“It's because I'm in love with you, Frank Iero.” Gerard came clean, sticking his hands into his front pockets nervously before allowing his eyes to drop from his beloved's face to his combat boots. “Oddly, I've always had and know now that I always will.”
His confession clicked something within Frank, making him realize that those words were what he's been unknowingly waiting for for a long time. It was bittersweet though because as much as his heart rejoiced at the declaration of love from this man who was his kidnapper and ex-boyfriend, so many other things stood against it at the same time. He couldn't love this man, Gerard, or Poison, because they both ruined his life, and they both took many lives as well as his own. He was a killer through and through. They both were. Another realization realized, though this one caused his eyes to fill. Placing his hands back over his face, Frank let the tears fall as he turned his body away from Poison. He was too tired and weak to face him. Poison was always so strong and in control all the time even when he was Gerard, but Frank never could be. On trembling legs, Frank eased himself into the nearest chair of his patio furniture set his parents insisted on purchasing for him before they left him last. Drawing his legs up onto the cushion, he wrapped his arms around his legs and snuggled his face deeply against knees to shed his tears. He made sure to keep his volume down in case his children were listening.
Gerard made his move to sit on the same couch as Frank, except on the other end of it. He wouldn't close the distance between them just yet despite the fact his heart was racing in desperation to hold him and comfort him for all the pain he's suffered by his hand. “You've always known me as Poison from the Killjoy family that associated themselves with taking care of what we call 'the un-derservers' of life, but...I haven't always been this person...sort of. My real name is Gerard Arthur Way, I'm 27 years old and have been born and raised in New Jersey on April 9, 1977.” When Frank didn't respond but continued to silently cry, Gerard continued on, his eyes locked on the young man who's life he destroyed at the tender age of 15. Frank had to know everything there was about him, and that meant both good and bad. “I've always had...mental problems, I guess you can say. On top of being antisocial at a very young age, I...I was always trying to find ways to...hurt people, mostly kids my age at the time. Even when my little brother came around I tried to hurt him too such as trying to drop him down the stairs or out of the second story window. Nothing could seem to stop me then, not even all that medication and visits to the psychiatrists. My parents simply couldn't leave me alone with Michael and never did after I set his crib on fire with him in it.”
Frank visibly flinched at that and slowly raised his hazel eyes up to peer at Poison's cherry red head through his fringe. By this time Gerard was staring down at his hands he had clasped on his lap. “My parents were forced to home school me because of all the fights I'd get in on purpose just to spill any ounce of blood I could or hear the satisfying sound of bones breaking. I wasn't able to harm anyone anymore from home...and so I was reduce to the local wildlife in our neighborhood. At first I'd only hurt them and let them go to test things out...but then I wouldn't.” Gerard's voice lowered as he reminisce on the his first victim which was a white Pomeranian puppy fulled with love, happiness, and natural eagerness to please. He'd easily earned it's trust because puppies were trustful creatures, and led it into the woods behind his backyard where he stabbed it to death with a rusty screw driver he found buried by a creek. “Taking their innocent lives was the only thing that could satisfy this constant fury I was born with. Sadly, it never worked to dispel it completely. Killing animals could only appease it for a little bit before the hunger came back for more and strong than before.” Gerard exhaled loudly through his nose as he sat back in his seat and stared out at the beautiful sunny day. “The need to take lives was festering inside me at a fast rate I couldn't control and was becoming irresistible with each passing day it was becoming impossible to ignore. I knew even then that one of these days I'd have to face it...”