I'm the Last One That You'll Ever Remember
Chapter 128: I Became Alive
Enough time had passed when Gerard stretched out a hand to caress the back of his fingers over Frank's cheek who wriggled from his slumbering spot on his bed. An hour ago, it felt, the young pregnant man showed up in the guest bedroom Gerard was residing in and enticed him to make love again after so long. The redhead wasn't completely flabbergasted by the visit because it was a rising matter that would someday happen, it was just a matter of time. They both knew it, but Gerard never wanted to force it if it would only propel Frank further and further away from it. His young lover was battling every day with the fight of resistance but tonight, he finally gave in.
At first, Gerard allowed himself to be internally ecstatic, but that was fleeting. Just because his lust had finally been temporarily sated, did not mean they were out of the jungle yet. There was things that needed to be discussed and Gerard didn't want to have to wait for Frank to start them considering how he was perpetually fixed in a state of denial whenever it came to them. Skimming his fingers over Frank's silky cheek again, Gerard whispered in a husky voice. “That's enough, sugar. It's time to open your eyes, we need to talk.”
Frank's hazel eyes snapped opened at the tone of another man's voice in his room. Lurching up, he soon recognized the bed he was in was not his own, but the guest room's bedroom. He didn't have to quiz himself on whom the redhead man was and why they both were naked. It was made evident by the pleasant euphoric state his mind was merrily in. What he didn't remember so clearly was how and why he'd even come down here in the first place? Yes, it was the last thought on his mind before he ended up here, but... His mind jostled to piece together the events that led him here to this bed naked, not realizing he'd spoken those words aloud. “Wha-, H-How did I get here?”
“Shh, don't get yourself worked up.” Gerard cooed as he sat up to grasp the end of the comforters to pull over them as he began to hustle away to create some distance between them. He preferred to remain at his lover's side, but just in case things turned bitter, he thought it best to make him complacent. “You came here of your own free will. No one forced you here.”
Rolling his eyes in resentment because he knew Gerard's words to be the honest truth, Frank converged the comforter up against his chest as the sensation of cum oozed from his body and into the material beneath him. That irrefutable evident only made his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. With a whine, he placed a hand over the side of his face near Gerard. “Fuck me, am I ever gonna get a goddamn break?!”
“No, neither of us will.” Gerard muttered shortly, peeking down at the comforter pooled in his lap. He could sense Frank's irritation and understood it. The young man wanted to be in control of his life, and was, except for this one area where they were concerned. Gerard was there once upon a time himself, and it was just as an aggravating time for him as well. Back when he was a killjoy, he had convened his own rendition of Pandora's box when he first saw Frank, and since then had been through his own personal hell of trying to burst free of the spell that bounded them together. It took Frank moving out of his parent's home to finally pressure him to surrendering to the fight and acknowledging that this need for him would never end. He embraced his fight, but Frank clearly wasn't there yet. “Now that we finally ended up in bed together, it's gonna happen again and again and again until there is no denial left for us.”
“BUT WHY!?” Frank proclaimed to him, his hazel eyes wide with desperation for the solution needed to help him with this personal dilemma. He'd forgot for a moment that the kids were sleeping upstairs and once again softened his voice with an adorable huff. Pausing for a moment, he fist two hands with the comforter and stared closely at his lover. “Why does it have to be this way between us? Why can't I just fucking let you go and move on with my life!? You're no good for me!”
“Don't you think I know that?!” Gerard snapped in annoyance that was fighting back at the reminder that he was indeed not positive for Frank. “You think I intended for this to happen when I first saw you, cause I didn't! I was a Killjoy just out for the night on a job, that was it! How was I suppose to know that this would have been the result of that?”
“Don't you dare bring up that night!” Frank denounced, placing his hands over his ears and briefly closing his eyes. He couldn't be reminded of their beginning. It would only bring up more questions with answers that Frank didn't know if he could handle yet. “I don't want to hear it!”
“Then hear this!” Turning to face him, Gerard reached out to seize Frank's hands from his ear then caught him by his waist to turn him to face him. Heated light brown eyes drilled wide hazel eyes with the same intensity of their bodies moments before. “What we have between us isn't some normal romantic bullshit everyone else in this world gets to have, trust me, I know! Our connection is something different, something strong that I've never felt before for anyone and I know you've never experienced before either. We can spend our whole life opposing it and pretending it doesn't exist, but that won't change anything. At the end of the day we'll always know it's there because it'll be forever hunting for the other.”
“N-No...” Frank stammered, shaking his head in his routine rebuttal as his face began to compress with emotions. He didn't want to listen to this, at least that's what he kept telling himself, when in reality he was still ransacking for answers and the only person who had them was the only person in this world he craved for the most. Lifting his hands, he weakly tried to pry Gerard's hold off of him. “Gee, p-please, don't say those things!”
“But it's true! You can feel it too, I know that you do!” Releasing him momentarily, Gerard cupped Frank's face in his hands and lifted it to reconnect their eyes, accidentally forcing a few tears to dribble down his cheeks. With his thumbs, he swiped the hot droplets away, his eyes never leaving his. “I see the way you look at me, Frankie. I recognize the desire in your eyes, the blood heating in your veins, the breathless change in your breathing.”
Frank stiffened at being found out that he'd been hankering after his baby daddy for a long time. Sure, there had been a slip up or maybe two, but not enough for the older man to identify. “Y-You...know? But...”
“I do know. Because every action you make, every thought you have, and every dream you dream at night mirror my own.” Gerard confided, barely hearing his own words over the hammering of his own heart in his ears. He was only a little apprehensive to confess his feeling to his young lover, that the love he had for him has affected his heart. He gave in to the desire to speak from it. “I'm in love with, Frank Iero, and I know I shouldn't be. I know it's wrong. But it is what it fucking is and damn the world if they choose to condemn it. It won't change how I feel, a free man or behind bars, dead or alive. I'm in love with you, through and through. For too long I've roamed this country taking lives without a purpose. When I met you, I found that purpose. When I met you, I became alive, I was born, and I felt for the first time what it felt like to be human. I could see colors, hear birds sing, appreciate children's laughter, feel the warm blood through my veins, and relish eating a hamburger. I'm alive, and that's all because of you, sugar.”
Muzzled by his words, Frank open and closed his mouth several times. His tears still flowed, but he didn't seem to notice that. All he could see was Gerard and the life he spoke of glistening through his eyes. He meant every word and each one sent an arrow through his heart. “Gee....”
“No, don't say anything. I don't want you to. I just want you to let go, even if it's just for tonight...and feel this.” Gerard whispered as he reached down between them to commandeer Frank's flaccid dick beneath the comforter. Languidly, he stroked the member back to life. “Just feel this and ignore everything else. Just for tonight.”
Frank had jerked when he felt Gerard touch him. He had no idea he was going to do that and so he gasped in surprise. The warmth of the older man's grip thawed his tension away and eased his body to accept his tribute. Frank's hands floated up to place themselves on Gerard's pecs, the fingers lightly digging in. His hazel eyes began to flutter shut as he yielded to the touch. “Oh god...”
“Don't.” Gerard whispered before leaning in to nip at Frank's bottom lip. “Don't close your eyes. Look at me.”
“B-But I ca-” Frank began to protest breathlessly.
“Yes, you can. Look at me.” Gerard softly urged. When he received cooperation, he moved forward to lie Frank down onto the mattress beneath him. Hovering his lips over his while pumping his cock. “When we make love this time, I want you to look at me. When I enter your body, I want you to look at me and feel what I do to you. When you cum, I want you to look at me and try to tell me it's still wrong.”
At first, Gerard allowed himself to be internally ecstatic, but that was fleeting. Just because his lust had finally been temporarily sated, did not mean they were out of the jungle yet. There was things that needed to be discussed and Gerard didn't want to have to wait for Frank to start them considering how he was perpetually fixed in a state of denial whenever it came to them. Skimming his fingers over Frank's silky cheek again, Gerard whispered in a husky voice. “That's enough, sugar. It's time to open your eyes, we need to talk.”
Frank's hazel eyes snapped opened at the tone of another man's voice in his room. Lurching up, he soon recognized the bed he was in was not his own, but the guest room's bedroom. He didn't have to quiz himself on whom the redhead man was and why they both were naked. It was made evident by the pleasant euphoric state his mind was merrily in. What he didn't remember so clearly was how and why he'd even come down here in the first place? Yes, it was the last thought on his mind before he ended up here, but... His mind jostled to piece together the events that led him here to this bed naked, not realizing he'd spoken those words aloud. “Wha-, H-How did I get here?”
“Shh, don't get yourself worked up.” Gerard cooed as he sat up to grasp the end of the comforters to pull over them as he began to hustle away to create some distance between them. He preferred to remain at his lover's side, but just in case things turned bitter, he thought it best to make him complacent. “You came here of your own free will. No one forced you here.”
Rolling his eyes in resentment because he knew Gerard's words to be the honest truth, Frank converged the comforter up against his chest as the sensation of cum oozed from his body and into the material beneath him. That irrefutable evident only made his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. With a whine, he placed a hand over the side of his face near Gerard. “Fuck me, am I ever gonna get a goddamn break?!”
“No, neither of us will.” Gerard muttered shortly, peeking down at the comforter pooled in his lap. He could sense Frank's irritation and understood it. The young man wanted to be in control of his life, and was, except for this one area where they were concerned. Gerard was there once upon a time himself, and it was just as an aggravating time for him as well. Back when he was a killjoy, he had convened his own rendition of Pandora's box when he first saw Frank, and since then had been through his own personal hell of trying to burst free of the spell that bounded them together. It took Frank moving out of his parent's home to finally pressure him to surrendering to the fight and acknowledging that this need for him would never end. He embraced his fight, but Frank clearly wasn't there yet. “Now that we finally ended up in bed together, it's gonna happen again and again and again until there is no denial left for us.”
“BUT WHY!?” Frank proclaimed to him, his hazel eyes wide with desperation for the solution needed to help him with this personal dilemma. He'd forgot for a moment that the kids were sleeping upstairs and once again softened his voice with an adorable huff. Pausing for a moment, he fist two hands with the comforter and stared closely at his lover. “Why does it have to be this way between us? Why can't I just fucking let you go and move on with my life!? You're no good for me!”
“Don't you think I know that?!” Gerard snapped in annoyance that was fighting back at the reminder that he was indeed not positive for Frank. “You think I intended for this to happen when I first saw you, cause I didn't! I was a Killjoy just out for the night on a job, that was it! How was I suppose to know that this would have been the result of that?”
“Don't you dare bring up that night!” Frank denounced, placing his hands over his ears and briefly closing his eyes. He couldn't be reminded of their beginning. It would only bring up more questions with answers that Frank didn't know if he could handle yet. “I don't want to hear it!”
“Then hear this!” Turning to face him, Gerard reached out to seize Frank's hands from his ear then caught him by his waist to turn him to face him. Heated light brown eyes drilled wide hazel eyes with the same intensity of their bodies moments before. “What we have between us isn't some normal romantic bullshit everyone else in this world gets to have, trust me, I know! Our connection is something different, something strong that I've never felt before for anyone and I know you've never experienced before either. We can spend our whole life opposing it and pretending it doesn't exist, but that won't change anything. At the end of the day we'll always know it's there because it'll be forever hunting for the other.”
“N-No...” Frank stammered, shaking his head in his routine rebuttal as his face began to compress with emotions. He didn't want to listen to this, at least that's what he kept telling himself, when in reality he was still ransacking for answers and the only person who had them was the only person in this world he craved for the most. Lifting his hands, he weakly tried to pry Gerard's hold off of him. “Gee, p-please, don't say those things!”
“But it's true! You can feel it too, I know that you do!” Releasing him momentarily, Gerard cupped Frank's face in his hands and lifted it to reconnect their eyes, accidentally forcing a few tears to dribble down his cheeks. With his thumbs, he swiped the hot droplets away, his eyes never leaving his. “I see the way you look at me, Frankie. I recognize the desire in your eyes, the blood heating in your veins, the breathless change in your breathing.”
Frank stiffened at being found out that he'd been hankering after his baby daddy for a long time. Sure, there had been a slip up or maybe two, but not enough for the older man to identify. “Y-You...know? But...”
“I do know. Because every action you make, every thought you have, and every dream you dream at night mirror my own.” Gerard confided, barely hearing his own words over the hammering of his own heart in his ears. He was only a little apprehensive to confess his feeling to his young lover, that the love he had for him has affected his heart. He gave in to the desire to speak from it. “I'm in love with, Frank Iero, and I know I shouldn't be. I know it's wrong. But it is what it fucking is and damn the world if they choose to condemn it. It won't change how I feel, a free man or behind bars, dead or alive. I'm in love with you, through and through. For too long I've roamed this country taking lives without a purpose. When I met you, I found that purpose. When I met you, I became alive, I was born, and I felt for the first time what it felt like to be human. I could see colors, hear birds sing, appreciate children's laughter, feel the warm blood through my veins, and relish eating a hamburger. I'm alive, and that's all because of you, sugar.”
Muzzled by his words, Frank open and closed his mouth several times. His tears still flowed, but he didn't seem to notice that. All he could see was Gerard and the life he spoke of glistening through his eyes. He meant every word and each one sent an arrow through his heart. “Gee....”
“No, don't say anything. I don't want you to. I just want you to let go, even if it's just for tonight...and feel this.” Gerard whispered as he reached down between them to commandeer Frank's flaccid dick beneath the comforter. Languidly, he stroked the member back to life. “Just feel this and ignore everything else. Just for tonight.”
Frank had jerked when he felt Gerard touch him. He had no idea he was going to do that and so he gasped in surprise. The warmth of the older man's grip thawed his tension away and eased his body to accept his tribute. Frank's hands floated up to place themselves on Gerard's pecs, the fingers lightly digging in. His hazel eyes began to flutter shut as he yielded to the touch. “Oh god...”
“Don't.” Gerard whispered before leaning in to nip at Frank's bottom lip. “Don't close your eyes. Look at me.”
“B-But I ca-” Frank began to protest breathlessly.
“Yes, you can. Look at me.” Gerard softly urged. When he received cooperation, he moved forward to lie Frank down onto the mattress beneath him. Hovering his lips over his while pumping his cock. “When we make love this time, I want you to look at me. When I enter your body, I want you to look at me and feel what I do to you. When you cum, I want you to look at me and try to tell me it's still wrong.”