I'm the Last One That You'll Ever Remember

Jerking awake from a nightmare he didn’t remember, Gerard woozily uttered Frank’s name. “Frankie…” There wasn’t an answer back except for a listless coo from Milo in his crib. Rolling over, Gerard stretched an arm out across the otherside of the bed with the expectation to come into contact with Frank’s slumberous form. His hand met only the cold sheets. Idling lifting his head, he frowned down with heavy lids to learn he was alone in bed. “Frankie?”

Turning his head, he hastily scoured the empty dark master bedroom for any signs of him, including the master bathroom which was a black abyss. Flipping the sheets off of his nude body, Gerard hunted for his pajama pants out in the dark quietly so as not to arouse Milo. After donning them on, he crept through the house in search of his lover. He found him when he reached the first floor, and was so suspicious of his behavior that he lingered in the shadows of the hallway to observe.

In the living room sat Frank in front of the fireplace. He had stoked a small fire and was keeping it dim so the glow wouldn’t intrigue anyone that decided to go downstairs. He was positive he would hear someone even if they did and would expel the lie he had forged in advance. Until then, he was concentrating on scorching the various letters he had obtained that morning in the mail. There was only supposed to be ONE threatening letter inside, not enough to saturate his entire mailbox to it’s capacity. In a blinding panic, Frank assembled them all and dumped them behind a bush right by the front door. He didn’t have the time to shred them like he did every morning. With a vow to come back later to dispose of them properly before anyone could unearth them, Frank went on about his day as normally as he could. Not that that did much good. It was plain on Gerard’s face that he sensed something was going on with him. Alleging that he was under the weather or coming down with a bug wasn’t going to hold him off for long.

But what else was Frank supposed to do?

Entrust Gerard to let him know?

Never in a trillion years would Frank risk doing that. He didn’t want Gerard to have any more ties with the Killjoy family, and if that meant he had to keep his mouth shut about all these threatening letters to their family then so be it. No matter how appalling, graphic and...blood splatters...teeth...or fingernails they sent...

“Oh god!” Frank faintly weeped, shielding his face with both quaking hands. Who was he kidding!? How long did he think he could last with receiving bloodstained letters ferrying teeth, and torn flesh before he got the message that these people were serious about their despicable promises and that he should tell Gerard so he can take care of it? Who else would know how to handle a situation like this with a murdering family of psychopaths than one of their own?

“No no no, I can’t!” Frank madly shook his head to himself as if he was having a conversation with someone in the room. He was breathing heavily as he fought to hush his weeping down to a minimum so he could rip the last few letters and fling them into the fire. He was so eaten up with fatigue and his warm bed upstairs with his baby daddy all tucked under was like heaven on earth right now. Crawling underneath those sheets to drape himself around the older man was all he desired at the moment, but he had to first earn that prize. He had to torch the evidence so Gerard would never know. Nodding to himself, Frank continued to nourish the fire. “I have to keep going. I have to. I have to.”

Gerard frowned from the shadows, his heart pounding like crazy for his distraught lover. He wanted to go to him. He wanted to sweep him up in his arms and hold him close to protect him from whatever that was vexing him. He wanted to douse him in his love so completely that Frank would only know happiness, security and his undying love. But that would mean he’d have to depart from his covert spot and reveal himself, and he couldn’t do that.

His lover was unsettled about something. Something he wouldn’t leak to him no matter how many times he’d try. Frank was perpetually spewing falsehoods here and there and expected him to take it just that easily? No, he must not know Gerard that well enough then.

Yes, he backed down every time Frank assured him everything was fine. He won’t deny that. Did that mean he took him for his word? No, not anymore. After the second time Gerard was convinced Frank was lying. He let the subject drop, however, because he had every intention of investigating it on his own. He had to find answers as to what was ailing his lover.

Could it be postpartum depression from having Milo?

If it was, would confronting the ailing person and demanding answers worsen the condition?

Would letting Frank handle it on his own end in him harming himself or the kids if Gerard doesn't push him to see a doctor?

Gerard didn’t even want to consider the latter, and so he ransacked the place from top to bottom when Frank wasn’t around. He pillaged every drawer, cupboard, closet, coat pocket, and trash can in the house. When nothing turned up, he became even more desperate as Frank’s health seemed to deteriorate, and he became more negligent of the people around him that loved him. Becoming revitalized, he crossed the line that he never wanted to cross. He began to mosey through Frank’s email on his computers for answers. When that didn’t help, he looked through his phone when it wasn’t on him. Text messages, and voicemails were browsed from beginning to end, and yet he got nowhere.

He was just as lost as he was from the beginning.

Perhaps it was time to change his tactics. Perhaps it was time to come out of the darkness and be seen? Taking a deep breath, Gerard stealthily retraced his steps back down the hall and up to the top of the stairs. He gave it a minute before going down the stairs again except this time he made himself be heard. Every creak of the stairs rang out to tip Frank that someone was coming. He even went as far as to feign a loud yawn when he reached the hall. In a groggy voice thick with sleep, he softly hailed out. “Frankie? Baby, are you down here?”

“Shit!” Frank hissed to himself as he scrambled up the last few letters he hadn’t been able to shred and threw them into the fire. With a poker, he stabbed them into the heart of the fire, hoping it would consume them beyond recognition at least. Clearing his voice of tears, he softly called back. “Y-Yeah, I’m here. I’ll be up in a second, Gee. Just...getting a glass of water!”

“In the living room?” Gerard inquired curiously, a brow arching from far down the hall. He crossed his arms over his chest, keeping his distance by remaining there. Frank, aware that he was there, would already be in a frenzy. If Gerard wanted a fight, he would enter the living room. Whatever that was upsetting Frank this much would definitely push him to start a fight in order to distract him from what he was really up to.

“I...I wanted to sit on the couch and drink it.” Frank defended himself, silently cursing the letters to finish burning. “C’mon you son of a bitch, burn!”

“Alright, I’ll head back to bed then. See you there.” Gerard concluded, heading back up the stairs. He didn’t need to linger, he would have his answers soon by sifting through the ashes of whatever Frank was trying to burn away and piecing it back together. All he had to do was wait for Milo.

Soon after nearly falling asleep, Frank returned to bed and cuddled up against him. Wrapping him in his arms, the couple fell asleep clinging to each other for the next four minutes before Milo awoke howling. Gerard surged off the bed and collected his son in his arms. Milo calmed a little, but wouldn’t remain so unless his needs were met. Glancing over his shoulder, Gerard whispered. “I’ll take this shift since you took last, okay?”

“Thank you, baby.” Frank mumbled, barely audible from under the comforters.

Taking the fussy baby downstairs to fix his bottle, Gerard got Milo all taken care of before setting him in his swinging chair. Crouching by the fire with only a single lamp to aid him, he recovered the burnt pieces of paper in the fireplace and began to piece back what he could. He didn’t have much to give him a detailed understanding, but he had enough.

Frank was burning letters. Letter sent from his Killjoy family. Threatening letters.

This was why his lover was so distressed these last few weeks! Those monsters were not only threatening them, but their family too! Gerard was certain he had sent a clear enough message to leave him and his alone, but that obviously didn’t work. Not wanting to lose his cool and commit a series of murders just yet, Gerard breathed in and out slowly. He needed to speak with his brother. He needed to know what the hell his brother was up to.